Monday, December 04, 2017


I reckon if you’d seen my Instagram, you would’ve come across that hashtag.
Tagged on photos with long ass caption that defeats the saying that "a picture speaks a thousand words." I speak a thousand words -- the photo, a bonus! hahhaha

I really do miss blogging.
But trying to write while you have a clingy little baby is not easy.
I haven’t even updated Nugget’s journal since the night we checked into the hospital. And I’d only written a title for it, not even an intro!
I even thought of starting bullet journalling; hoping I'll get to still write even when I can't make the time to write full sentences. But that's as far as I got -- just think about it.
I said this to Monkey the other day and he responded by saying that I would have the time to write once I’m back to work.

How sad when you think about it.
More time means being away from baby.
It doesn’t sound right, does it?

Anyway, when AM I going back to work though?
I was only 900g overweight (according to my BMI) at my weigh-in after my two months maternity leave.
So my leave was extended for another month. Came back for another weigh-in in November and I was overweight by almost 3kg!!
So now I’ll have to make an effort to lose all that weight sometime this month since I had intended to go back to work by January.

Okay, my 20 minutes are up!
Nugget isn’t too happy being left all to herself on her little playmat.
I know I said I was going to continue where I’d left off from the previous entry, but that blog will have to wait until I’m ready to sacrifice what little sleep that I’ve been getting these days.

Monday, October 09, 2017

"C-section is a major surgery"

Well, I kinda need to keep saying that to myself.
Should probably say that to some of my family members as well! hahaha
Serves me right for braving a smile as I was wheeled out of the operating room, I guess.

So I gave birth to a not so little girl a little over a month ago -- explains why I haven't been updating this blog, yeah? It turned out to be a little bit of a drama, though. As you may have recalled, I was planning on a delivery as natural as possible. No thought of epidural, laughing gas or even getting induced.
All is already written, as I said to myself leading up to Nugget's birth. SO zen! *rolls eyes*

Check up at Week 40 involved CTG and an ultrasound. Nugget was fine and healthy, but still not engaged into my pelvis. The scan showed that her umbilical cord was near her neck but doctors could not confirm that it's around her neck, so there's no real reason to worry.
The doctor suggested that I get admitted that night and induce my labour anyway. Monkey and I were not crazy on the idea but Nugget was getting bigger by the day and thought perhaps we'll just see where this leads.
To be honest, I only agreed because Monkey had requested those days off and the idea that I might be in labour while he isn't around kinda worries me.

So we went home. Talked to family that we'll be "checking in" that night and that we'll update them if there is anything worth updating. While waiting to check in, Monkey made me walk around our apartment block and even took the stairs from LG4 to our apartment in fourth floor. That was torturous, but we had to try -- REALLY wasn't looking forward to getting induced!

Anyway, I hadn't felt any pain. No contractions to speak of. So we headed to Umra that night and so my labour story begins.
The nurse had asked me to change into my batik and wear a menstrual pad.
The doctor inserted the first Pitocin a little after 11PM. Nothing much happened after that. Monkey and I tried to get some sleep but every few hours we kept getting disturbed as the nurses were watching, monitoring my contractions and baby's heartbeat. Still nothing though. Baby was fine, my contractions were minimal.
So a little after six AM, the doctor came in again to insert the second Pitocin and only then I started to really feel the contractions.

At ten we saw the doctor. He saw the CTG results and did an ultrasound and told us he had no "good news" to tell us. Nugget was still in her previous position, nowhere near being engaged. CTG results were normal, nothing to be concerned about but he asked us to consider getting cesarian section.
We refused to decide then and gave ourselves time to see what happens.
At twelve I was hooked to a CTG machine again. The contractions had become stronger, uncomfortable but I wasn't in real pain. A doctor came in to check my opening and it was at 1-2cm but she said there is hope, we could try to wait it out for a few more hours and that's what we did.
At this time I haven't had anything to eat or drink since about 7, preparing for the possibility that I might have to get the C-sect anyway. So I was hooked to an IV; which had been the most unpleasant thing about the entire experience so far.

We went about with the day. Went back to my room to just chill and ride the contractions. My mom who had been there since morning went home to fetch some things and a little after lunch time Monkey brought his mom out for a meal after his brother dropped her off at the hospital.
So I was left all alone in my room.
Which was perfectly fine!
Until I needed to pee..

Because I had that IV tube, I tried to hold it in until I absolutely couldn't.. and as I got out of bed, I felt a balloon popped in me and a rush of water followed. At first I thought it was my pee and I failed to hold it in. hahhahaha! But it kept flowing and flowing that it made me think that the balloon was probably my amniotic fluid. So I grabbed the pole that had my bag of saline and manoeuvred myself into the toilet.
Slipped down my panties and hey-ho! My pad was soaked and it was green. Moss green. (Probably too gross to post a photo of it here, yeah?) So I threw my panties on the sink, peed and think of a million things;
Green -- not good!
Should I shout for the nurse?
Where the fuck is Monkey?!
And while I was cleaning after myself, Monkey and his mom came into the room so I shouted through the toilet door that my water broke.

Then I heard Monkey went back out, I came out from the loo and stood by my bed, not knowing what to do next. Monkey came back with a nurse who then saw the green soaked pad in the sink who then said something that sounded panicky. Not too long after that she came back saying that she called for the doctor and that I should lay back in bed.
The doctor came in, took a quick look at my pad and said that the baby has pooped inside. She checked my opening and there hadn't been any progress and said that we had no choice but go on the table.

This next part happened in a blur. I HATED the idea that I needed to be cut open.
Nurses came in and out. I got a Brazilian wax done for the "occasion" but a nurse came to shave me anyway. Then some lady came over with some papers for me to sign.
All the while Monkey and his mom were standing at a corner of the room pretty invisible to everyone but me.

Everyone was moving so fast. As I got changed, a nurse came along with a wheelchair then pushed me into the elevator leading to the floor with the labour rooms.
Monkey was not allowed into the operating room. So there I was, with my glasses handed to Monkey as it too was not allowed, half-blindly following whatever anyone had instructed me to do.

I was wheeled into a room where I was weighed, for the anaesthetic I assume.
Then walked into another room with the actual operating table. This part was an actual blur, literally but I remembered every bit pretty clearly. Not sure anyone would be interested to know how naked I felt in there, though so I think I'll just skip this part for another day. I must say that the anaesthecian did a fantastic job; I didn't feel the epidural going in at all!

Anyway, the whole thing was pretty fast. My water broke at 3 something, Nugget was born at half past four!
I was in a state of worry the whole time. It was not what I had anticipated. My right shoulder was somehow in a terrible pain and my everywhere else was freezing.

But I remembered Nugget's first cry. It was loud. It was clear. And the moment the doctor showed her to me I was swept with an overwhelming feeling of happiness.. and I was glad. It made no sense how one second I was worrying, then the very next second I was crying. I remembered even thinking, Why am I crying?! hahahahha
Then the doctor told me that the baby's umbilical cord was wrapped once around her neck.
It felt like I could cry again, mid-cry. I was so grateful that Nugget was safe.

Then I don't know what happened. The doctors had worked on me before closing me up, I assume but the next thing I know I was being wheeled out from the OR. Feeling really groggy, and saw my family's worried faces (my father's, in particular) and gave them a smile.

Damn, this entry is already too long.
Shall I continue some other time? There isn't much left to share except for the little bits in the hospital before I get discharged but you know how rambly I could get!

So that's it for now.
Believe it or not, I'd worked on this entry since three weeks ago! Having a baby really challenges your time management skills. Your time is no longer YOUR time.
At least my time anyway.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Mini watermelon baby.

Baby is staying put it seems. heehee.
Perhaps Nugget already understood the importance of keeping time, having flight attendants as parents.. bahahahha!
I'm getting a little anxious since Nugget's due date is just a week away. eeep!
I've been asked if I am ready..
Am I ready?

I'll be ready,
that's what I've been saying.
I've wrapped my head around the idea of PAIN. Absolutely no idea of how much pain, but I know there will be pain involved -- and honestly, talking or reading about them hasn't been helping much.
Every pregnancy is different. Every labour is different. You can read up on thousands of stories and yours may not be the same as any of them.
So, I'll be ready.
Whenever the baby is ready.. I'll be ready. Hopefully. hahahha!

Check-up in Hospital Umra since Week 37 had involved fifteen minutes session of cardiotocography (CTG). Basically the technician attached two circular thingamajig on my abdomen where one detects the baby's heartbeat while the other monitors my contraction -- which there had been none. hahahha!

The doctor had suggested that I take more walks and do some half squats since Nugget hasn't engaged into position. Not that it's crucial, some babies engages into the pelvis just before labour. So I'm not particularly worried.
But she did mention about the possibility of having my labour induced if Nugget refuses to come out even a couple of days post due date. sigh. I hope we wouldn't come to that.

I am really hoping for a delivery that is as natural as possible.
Honestly, some days I feel so zen about this whole thing.
Everything has been written, after all. Physically, there isn't much that I can do, right?

Really looking forward to meeting Nugget!
We are actually counting days, now.
..but my hospital bag is not even ready yet! HAHAHHA!

Thoughts by The Uninspired. © 2014

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