Friday, November 08, 2002

It doesn't hurt to be alone once in a while..
Just got back from what supposedly be a 'consultation' for English. I don't know why.. but going to, and back from English class on Fridays seems pretty good for my head, somehow. Mostly because I'd usually walk my troubles off.. and since I have class in the morning.. There wasn't many people around. So I don't have to look at people's faces (in case I should say 'hi' to them) or look cheery when I'm not. I can just.. be what I am feeling at the precise moment. I can let my head wander off to think about the things I have in mind.. and I can frown without anyone giving a damn why.. Kinda hurts to be what you don't feel.. Yeahh, I admit that I acted happy some times. 'Coz sometimes it's either their (the people around me) problems or troubles seemed bigger than mine or they just needs my attention. And I don't go around 'seeking' for attention or 'begging' to be heard.. or maybe I just prefer myself to keep my heart and mind. = Listen to me if you want, if not.. don't bother! And don't force me to say it.. 'coz I'll tell if I feel I should =
Aaaaahh! Good morning.. to be able to walk alone back from hanging around outside Ms Zaiha's room... ~ Ash : Don't you know it's alright to be alone.. you can make it on your own ~ Eh ehh.. don't worry peeps! I won't leave any of you guys alone.. Hehhe.. Nope, I won't do that.. I was merely stating that it's okay if any of you need to leave me alone.. I can manage.. I know I can.. Or I won't be like I am right now.. a minor cold-hearted b*tch. Hahhahaa!! No no nooo.. I'm not a b*tch.. But I can be a bit cold-hearted person sometimes. I wonder though.. is it because I'm such a spoiled brat, who needs just as much attention as everyone else but I had to give in too much?? Humm.. eventually I'll explode.. I'm kinda waiting for that moment. Just wanna see who's going to trigger it. Will it be myself?.. or someone else?
Waaaaaaaahh~!!! Now I'm feeling even more crappier!! Papaaaa!! Don't tell me I have to break-fast over here agaaain!! Huwaaaaaaa~!!!! I HATE!!

Current song : I Can't Catch You by Sixpence None The Richer
~ If I have to love myself, tell me how to love myself. What's there to love about myself? ~
Mid-way to shedding this unwanted tears..

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