Tuesday, March 18, 2003

L* Pt. 3

Can this be love? All I think about is him.. All I talk about is him.. All I can see is him. My heart aches everytime I imagine his face.. his eyes.. his smile.. It beats so fast when I see him, even from afar. Is this love? Is this what I'm trying so hard to avoid? How can it be so pleasant and hurtful in the same time?
"I thought you never want to fall in love.."
I was hanging out with my guy friend one late afternoon. I must have been a bit dazed off that he asked me those.
"Is it?"
"What is?"
"Is it love? I can't seem to shake him off my thoughts. Is this love? Why didn't you tell me that it feels so great?"
"It won't be great forever.. You'll have your ups and downs. I just hope the down part won't get by so soon."
"You shouldn't say that!"
"What? I'm hoping for the best, here.. I know you've had a rough time about all these things - love things, I mean."
It left me speechless. He's right. I can't rely on my boyfriend too much. After all, I'm just 17 to know what real love is! Too young to think about marriage!
"Is it too much if I say, I can't think of anyone else I wanna spend my life with?" I asked him truthfully since that was how I felt.
"Yet! Say that you can't think of anyone else you want to spend the life with, yet and it won't be too much."
"How come you're so bitter all over this things?"
"I just don't want you to get hurt! I've been your pal since forever! I've seen you when you were down and I refuse to see it repeating again. It hurts me as well, okay?"
"Humm.. thanks, I guess. Wait a sec," just then my mobile vibrated and it was my boyfriend! "Heehee.. sorry, I gotta go. See you later?"
"Sure! Get those sparkling eyes somewhere else."
Before he totally disappeared from my sight, I managed to heard him yell "be careful" at me. Sure I will..

Just, I can't think of any way that I'll get hurt! Things are going prefectly fine. We don't quarrel much, except when he feels jealous or something. Why is it so hard to trust a person? I do it perfectly okay!


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