Friday, March 21, 2003

L* Pt. 5 (Last part*)

"Daddy, what is love? And don't tell me that I'm too young to understand it."
Daddy still looked at me with a bright smile upon his face. "Truth is, you have to find it out yourself, honey. No simple words can really explain love. You have to experience it yourself."
"That's the thing, daddy. I thought I've understood it."
"You have?"
"Yeah.. I thought I found the explaination for it. How it felt.. but.."
"Is love not forever? Will it leave us within time? Will I crave for it's pleasantness and hurtfulness all my life, only to be left by it in the end? Is this how's it gonna be, daddy? I've been telling myself not to fall in love, but I did! It hurts so much, and yet.. I still wish for it to come again, daddy! Is there an explaination for this? Is there a logical reason for me, wanting to be hurt again?"
Right then, daddy hugged me close. It was so calming and comforting, yet.. my mind was still thinking about the mystery of love.
"There's no exlpaination for it, honey. That's how human are. Everyone wants to love and to be loved. Only the lucky ones get to be loved until the end of their lives. Until they die.. but their loved one will be left with the memory of their love. Even when their love stays forever.. the 'reason' for that love will leave us, honey and at that point, love won't be the same anymore. Yes, honey.. love will leave us no matter how. But it might stay until the end of your life."
"Daddy, I wish I never loved you.. I know that it's impossible, but I couldn't bare the thought of not having you around."
"Hey, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"
"I wish to die, then.."
"You still have a full life ahead of you. You'll find your love."
"I wish not to! It hurts.. so badly!"
"You will, whether you like it or not and at that moment, you'll be thankful that it came by.."

Daddy, you may be right.. but I still wish not to fall in love again. It may be pleasant but it hurts badly, daddy. You were so strong, and I admire you for that. Maybe.. maybe I'll be just like you one day. Even when love left me, I'd still be standing to face the world.
Excuse me.. I'm just 18, aren't I? Ahahhahha!!


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