Monday, November 03, 2003

HA-HA-HA

taken from Majin's blog, which was actually taken from jumpin.net (some blog site inside MMU's intranet) :

-Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We want it to be up and you want it to be down. You don't hear us complaining about you keeping it down right? (humm.. true..)
-Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! (guess so!)
-Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. We have other things on our minds too... (yeah.. vice versa)
-Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her. (bodo btol..)
-Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
-Crying is blackmail. (no it's not.. jerk!)
-Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! It makes everyone’s life easier! (yeah, don't expect us to figure you out, too!)
-We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. (it's the thought that counts.. we can forget YOUR dates too, y'know!)
-Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? (okaay..)
-Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. (it's not!)
-Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. (guys like this should die... really!)
-A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor, fast! (fine..)
-Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. (fine then..)
-If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. (hahahhaha!!)
-If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer. (okaaay!)
-If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. (If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I really meant it.. you jerk!!)
-You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. (okaaay~)
-Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (the same goes to you..okie!)
-Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. (hahahhaa!! okaaay..)
-The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends. (we don't WHINE to our girlfriends.. it's just the way we tell it, jerk!!!)
-ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. (oh~ so you're REALLY stupid!! sorry.. I expected more from you.. my mistake then)
-If it itches, it will be scratched. And that's what we'll do. (u huhh)
-We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. (of course.. :D )
-If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. (what a turn-off! :( )
-If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. (vice-versa!)
-When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. (are you REALLY sure about that one??)
-Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as soccer, or which accessories shop to spend on when we get our own car, or the Baywatch episode we saw last night. (hahahha!! baiklahh~! and you SHOULD be prepared if we talk about shoes, orlando bloom, or elijah wood then! that's the only way we could be fair!)
-You have enough clothes. (yeah.. most probably.. I just don't want to wear most of them! HAHAHA!)
-You have too many shoes. (no I don't!)

ps: if you say things like those to a girl you fancy.. NEVER expect her to feel the same for you.. HONEST!!

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