Saturday, January 31, 2004

grey sky morning..?

it's been two days, i wake up to vertical horizon's best i ever had.
i wonder..
my mp3s were playing all night.. but i kept waking up to the same song.
the weather's fine outside anyways.. :)
the sky is blue..
but grey clouds seems to be floating closer.
gosh, i love the sky whether it's day or night!!!!

will be added later~!

ehhh!! media history is not due until february 16th!!! that'll be the day for us to submit our second draft.. the real essay is due on march 1st!!!
adehh~ this means just one thing.
i HAVE to work on maya... :((
Ya Allah, i need Your help to keep me determined to complete this task!
yess, i really need His help.. :)

o heck! i feel like tarot reading for a while.. ekkeke!!
kadang kadang i wonder what i'm doing.. sometimes i feel so out of touch. tak ske nyeee!
minat menda menda merepek!
minat menda menda merepek!!
tarot.. astrology.. orang merepek? HAHHAHAHA!!
b-( bongok la wanie nie!

happy belated birthday orlando bloom!!! :x
hehhe.. terlambat gile! january 13th!! bole lak terlupa..
and today's actually someone's birthday as well! so,
happy birthday justin timberlake!!
hahhaha!! i feel like a silly tween-aged girl for remembering celebrities' (spelling?) birthdates! :p

unconcious mutterings
  1. Political:: bores so badly..
  2. Concentration:: is so hard!
  3. Fish:: steamed
  4. Lunacy:: crazy?
  5. Red:: heart
  6. Imply:: english is getting worse! i can't recall what's the meaning of this one!
  7. Recognize:: a face
  8. Sexist:: sexy rosie! hahahhaha!!
  9. Commercial:: reward your curiosity.. hehh!
  10. Stricken:: chicken (it just rhymes!)
dahlaa! merepek aje.. bosan betul!!
will be going back home today.. esok gi seremban laie, mama nak visit sana lak.

[ finished on 12:12pm ]


it's late.
and i don't know why, but it seems that i'll be in a rough mood when it gets dark outside.
calling.. calling..

hummph.. merepek je ni.

just spent the whole day with the lovely hobbitses. terganggu sedikit dengan phone calls drogo and belladonna; asked for my IC number with the reason to sell me. merepek!
went to midvalley university (called it with that, considering the amount of time we've spent there!) and practically hung around. got there around 3:30, kuar pon kul 1:30 camtu.. waiting for the bus and taxi was excrutiating!! bosan betul! :( but anyways!! had lunch for 2 hours.. talking and yapping.. gossiping and mengumpat.. exchange infos and things.. rosie joined our pack; prisca, lily and myself, on something aboutthe future. funny.. tak pasal pasal rosie dah join!! but it's neat! hehhe! and then jalan jalan.. later end up in mph bookstore where we shared our money (sorang rm8.25) for a set of tarot cards!! hahha!! finally!! beli juga after so much of talking.. and then prisca and lily had their dinner (laksa!!) me and rosie weren't that hungry.. :D i wasn't as enthusiastic with LAKSA while rosie was waiting for jai to come by. :)
while they ate, i studied the tarot!! HAHAHHA!! :x predict predict.. missed charmed (darn!!) but at least i get to do some "crafts" of my own! hahahha!! jadi interpreter for the gurls.. :D kinda funny really.. prisca kept getting cards that relates her to self-belief.. i got cards for relationship, and lily with moneyy!! hahahha!!
oh!! congrats lily!!!!!!! she finally got the car!! weeeeee~!!
kamon my dear lesbo partner.. bawak i jalan jalan! HAHHAHAH!! :p (tau nak merayaaap aje! byebye duit~! hahhaha)
anyways!! then rosie met up with jai.. so me, lily and prisc went hanging at coffee bean, sampai 11:40! then terlari lari to the cinema 'coz we were catching runaway jury on 11:45! hahahha!! bole lak lost track of time.. (did more tarot reading there..) :))
runaway jury was neat! kire.. okay juge.. liked the shots! and the story was quite neat! but the part when the past unfolds, was quite fast.. had to listen and watch very carefully to that part. :D
then waited 'til almost three 'coz rosie and jai were catching last samurai. hehhe!
then went back mmu together.
prisca's staying in my room tonight.
that's all for the report.. i'm bored

Friday, January 30, 2004

my reply :)

found a song that i totally love!!!

Follow Through by Gavin Degraw

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?
I, haven't felt like this in so many moons
You know what I mean
And we can build through this destruction
As we are standing on our feet

So, since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through

These reeling emotions they just keep me alive
They keep me in tune
Oh, look what I‘m holding here in my fire
This is for you
Am I too obvious to preach it
You're so hypnotic on my heart

So, since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through

The words you say to me are unlike anything
That's ever been said
oh what you do to me is unlike anything
That's ever been
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart

So since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday

So since you wanna be with me
You'll have to follow through
With every word you say
And I, all I really want is you
you to stick around
I'll see you everyday
But you have to follow through
You have to follow through
You're gonna have to follow

Oh, this is the start of something good
Don't you agree?

going out with the hobbitses!!! :x dear lily, prisca and rosie.. you three are the coolest!!! semua pon tinggalkan maya ekk??
byebye maya~ byebye byebyeee!!
:| i really should take my work seriously one of these days or i'll be in great trouble!!
but takpe.. for now,
byebye maya~ byebye byebyeee!!
i'm crazy.. missing.. and still in a bit of mood..!
tears had been shed
for i am needing

cam gersang lak! HAHHAHAHHA!!
not in a very good mood.

haven't started sehabuk pon maya assignment 'coz i'm a lazy cow. what's the point of hiding, better i just admit it; i am a skinny lazy cow! pelik kan? supposedly, lazy ones are fat 'coz they don't move around!
o well.. bad mood.
terase nak merebahkan diri.. but it'll hurt since there's no one to catch me.. and if i want to get hurt, i won't have to "want" to 'coz i get into accidents all the time.
clumsy sangat.. some people have said that.
tak sah sehari tak terhantuk at something.. bluerghh!!
right now.. at this moment.. i hate my life!
hopefully i'll be back to my normal mood by tomorrow morn.

the end

Thursday, January 29, 2004

mari menyanyi, mehh~

i tried to cut down most of the songs.. but i just can't!!!
aktiviti ini telah dicilok from shahnon's blog.
(was bored.. and this is quite a good activity to kill some time! :D)

start 6:17pm

Song that makes you happy:
standfast - morning charm
(can't think of anything else, sbb i'm happy whenever i hear all my fave songs!)

Song that makes you sad:
american hi-fi - another perfect day
vertical horizon - best i ever had
radiohead - creep
save ferris - let me in
saliva - rest in pieces
3 doors down - here without you
forty foot echo - save me
westlife - if your heart's not in it
(pendek kata.. most songs yang tak mencerminkan sebarang hope. heehee~)

Song that makes you feel dreamy:
foo fighters - walking after you
the corrs - all the love in the world
vanessa carlton - a thousand miles
lifehouse - everything
(the list should be long.. but banyak sangat pon, sape larat bace? heehee~)

Song that makes you sleepy:
most of norah jones and alicia keys
(sorry prisc, i know you love them..)

Song that makes you want to dance:
nivea - don't mess with my man
atomic kittens - the tide is high

Song that makes you want to close your ears:
the used - choke me

Song that makes you think of that special someone:
stacie orrico - i promise
leigh nash - need to be next to you
lifehouse - hanging by a moment
(eh chupp!! sejak bile lak wanie ade 'special someone'?? hahhaha!!!)

Song that makes you feel relaxed:
john mayer - back to you
lifehouse - breathing
sheila on 7 - tunjuk satu bintang

Song that makes you feel inspired:
stacie orrico - more to life
evanescence - imaginary

Song that makes you want to sing along:
weezer - i just threw out the love of my dreams
cokelat - teman saja
a*teens - halfway around the world

end 6:47 pm

slit me open..

hurting myself over and over again..
might as well i just commit suicide!!
(mad at myself..!) sebab lembu sangat!!
always get my heart in the way.. manipulating my mind.. and i know this all along, yet i do nothing about it.. i don't know how to stop! help me stoppp!!!!!!
devotion in the face of uncertainty... always and always..

adeeii.. awak, tolong...
I Shall Believe by Sheryl Crow

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me

Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe

I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be

It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me

Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

Never again
would I turn away from you

I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me

And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe

o yeah, i'm already in cyberjaya.. supposedly doing my animation assignment. apparently my friends are here!! prisca and lily!! :x i wasn't all alone after all.. (as i thought) tadi prisca gave me a silly picture.. she said it represents us three 'coz of the hair.. bengong!
kelakar sungguh!!! merepekk!

my hair is not as frizzy as thaaat!! :p perasan perasan.. prisca perasan jessica biel.. ekkekeke!!



seriously screaming..
the reason... well, i'm just terribly in like of so many things! :x ekkeke!
nvm.. i'll post what i'm crazy about later.. :p

syafiq.. mane syafiiiiq??
heehee~ silly friends i got.
going to tell my holiday, now..
spent wednesday to friday at home.. went to seremban on saturday, stayed 'til tuesday.. got back on wednesday and gone back here on thursday! sedih btol tinggalkan belba and izzati on wednesday.. and now i left papa at home alone. though the house is small, i think it's quite huge for an old guy. not saying that my dad is old.. OLD.. but i dont know what does through his mind, y'know.. i wonder if he knew how much i care for him while i'm away. i think a lot when all his girls are not home.. like right now. while bella and belladonna's at seremban.. and i'm at school.. wondering if he wonders that he's being tested. i mean.. umm.. cemane aa nak explain?
hummph.. belba and myself tak kawen laie.. and we've left him alone. nanti karang bila kitorang dah kawen? kene tinggal lagi! hummph.. i know, i think too much.. tapi entahlaa.. at some points i just wish i'm at home, talking crap to papa just so he won't feel alone. and he likes to joke around about the old folks' home.. how i HATE those jokes!! not funny at all!! papa, you're NOT FUNNY!!!
okaay.. priorities going crazy again. focus! i need to FOCUS!! papa said he was fine being alone.. (mama's working in some hotel for the week.. boss dia ade meeting ape ntah!) but i know he's not!! macam semalam, when i got back home.. he said he was in no mood to eat nasik.. takde mood nak makan kat kedai.. but i know he's wants nasik!! at that time i was asking myself "kenapeee laa useless sangat wanie nie!!" kan bagus if i can cook.. so i can whip him something up.. sedihnyee laa jadi anak dara tak guna macam nihh.. hummph! *tukk*
meninggalkan atau ditinggalkan.. leaving or being left.. i pick being left!! leaving keeps me restless!! if you're comfortable with something, why would you leave, kan? hummph.. i really hate leaving.. biarlah ditinggalkan. takde lah nak risau pape.. my head pon tak serabut macam ni!!!
fikir pasal menda lain!! mama pon balek esok la wanie oiiii!! risau lebih aje.. hummphhh!!

anyways!! time cuti syafiq actually came by with azraai!!! they were at my house.. called me up to come down.. but i was in SEREMBAN!!! sedihnyeee!!! sedih sangat at that time. rase nak menjerit.. geram sangat!! why did they have to come in surprise??? kalau tak dah leh jumpe syafiq and rai!! huwaaaaaaaaaa!!! :(( sedihnye ingat balekk.. korang teroooooookkkk!! been a while since i last saw syafiq. rai dah jumpe cuti aritu.. tak kesah! HAHHAHA!! :p
**syafiq was a minor crush of mine while we're at school. ekkeke! entah nape ntah suka kat dia pon wanie tak tahu! HAHAHHA!! rai knew about that too.. anyways! both were quite my buddies at school.. and dua dua itulah yang kantoikan pasal arep. HAHHAHA!! history kanak kanak..
for those who knew the basics of my school-history would knew what i'm really talking about.. yang tak tahu tuu, takpelah! just consider i'm yapping uncontrollably again. heehee!

okay! itulah kisah cuti wanie kali ini.. jumpe laie di masa cuti lain kali!
mereng sikit~

[ finished on 4:07pm ]

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

words of hollow..

words of hollow,
floats to tell my sorrow..
into a large void in the sky.
i wish i knew what you meant,
with the words that you've spoke,
and the lines that you wrote..
are you trying to tell me something?
for i cannot see what you've shown me,
and i am still blind..
when it comes to you..
every time it comes to you...

heyy people!!
i guess plenty have been going on in the holidays.
right now i'm at my belladonna's office in pwtc.. membuang masa until lunchtime, when i'll get back home.
been spending my days in seremban to hel help belba took care of izzati since last saturday. it was okay, considering the horrible weather. (too hot for me!!)
missing the hobbits.. and maybe some others as well. but i shouldn't talk about that. my head is just too cramped with thoughts right now. just realized something on something and it made me wonder real bad, wether whether i should smike smile about it.. or just frown a lil bit more.. adehh~ peninnnng!!!
but things are pretty okay, really..!
might be going back cyberjaya tomorrow to get a start on animation and essay. looking forward to the essay, don't know why! wish i am feeling the same for the animation!!

sape leh buatkan animation untuk wanieeeeeeee???
nanti wanie buatkan essay!!!
sape volunteer?????

i wish i have a real buddy that can i can exchange assignments with! like i did with ana in the first trimester. ekkeke!! kantoi di situ! :p
o well.. that's all for now. maybe later when i'm feeling like it, i'll write more.

ps: urrghhh! help me understand!! tiba tiba terasa bodo bahasa inggeris.. adeiiii~


Tuesday, January 20, 2004

tak sempat...

happy holidays sumerrr!!!

thanks busuk boi! :x

enjoy the break!!!!!!

i got your letter
and the poetry you sent me
postmarked in december of last year
i really hope youre doing better
all your friends close by your side
one step closer to recovering.

i wish there was something i could say
to erase each and every page
youve been through
even though its not my place to save you

I appreciate but cant accept
this thank you note thats sealed with your last breath

and i wont stand aside and listen to you give up

if youll just hold on for one more second
just hold on to what you have
if youll just hold on. just hold on.

these arms from me strecthed out to you
maybe someday youll accept them
or maybe its too late to save
a young girls heart thats long stopped beating
wake up wake up you gotta believe
wake up wake up you cant give up
time keeps going on without us
long after were dead and gone

if youll just hold on for one more second
just hold on to what you have
if youll just hold on. just hold on.
you will wake up tomorrow


tengok kasut..

maann.. i really need to look for new shoes.. heehee! mine is falling apart..

tengok kasut

tengok kasut..!

macam minat sket.. (asyik tgk kaler merah aje!!)

tengok kasut

tengok kasut

humming the same ole tunes.

i wonder how my head get this way.. crowded with nothing..

macam depresi yang tiada penyebab. naik menyampah reading back the words i've said. seems like these days, i don't really have anything much to say.. but i just feel like saying.
same goes when i'm talking.. always felt like saying something.. but end up reciting the words in my own head because i think i've sounded pathetic enough in front of my friends already.. huhuu~
entahlaa.. matters of the head kadang kadang laie pelik daripada matters of the heart.

ekk!! winamp suddenly playing this song...
now.. lagu ni sangat memorable!!!
Kau Ku Sayang by Siti Nurhaliza
Kau tersenyum, ku terpaku
Cahaya di wajahmu hanyalah untuk ku
Sinaran matamu menusuk di kalbu
Tak mungkin ku melupakan sebegini pengalaman
Lalu hati pun berkata
Segala untuk mu

Suatu masa nanti
pasti kau temui
Tabahkanlah hati, jangan lupakan Illahi
Akan tiba bahagia tak mungkin sendirian
Terhurai dalam lagu berkumandang
Dibuai dalam mimpi kau kusayang

Segala untuk mu

Suatu masa nanti
pasti kau temui
Tabahkanlah hati, jangan lupakan Illahi
Akan tiba bahagia tak mungkin sendirian
Terhurai dalam lagu berkumandang
Dibuai dalam mimpi kau kusayang

was crazy for this song in Alpha.. kept singing it as everyone walks to class.. and everyone didn't knew that song back then. then during the alpha trip, sung this one with sheeya..
humm.. sheeya.... :)

bosannye bila dihurung perasaan tak best..

Berlari lari ke suatu arah
melangkah dan terus melangkah
hari semalam berlalu sudah
kemana kau pergi, ku tahu entah

adehh!! teaser betul!! CAN'T WAIT FOR JUUUNNNEEEE!!!!!!!!!

congratulations RP!!

she had her first 'mabok' experience tonight. congratsss!!!
it was kinda funny, really.. first prisca and lily got a bit 'high'.. and then i started laughing like mad.. (that was my sign..!) and then rp. ekkeke! seronok gelakkan semua orang. even at myself. heehee. drogo aje yang tak mabok mabok dari dulu.. lelaki!
it was a great outing. been a while since the last time, kan?? it's a pity it's already 10 something when we got to pyramid. or we could've gone to that photo sticker thing and get a picture of us all!!! heehee~ getting a bit addicted to that one, lahh!
ehh.. we just went to sinbad for shishah ekk..! bukan masok q-bar! hahhaha!! the entertainer at that place kinda terrible!! tak tahan btol the singing lady. the guy singer sounded awesome, though! :x sounded terrific when he sings creed's songs.. heehee!
lupa lupaa!!
congrats PRISCA & LILY!!
prisca managed to do the smoke in that circular shape!! ONCE!! hahhaa!! even though only once, people still saw it lah!! you can still brag about it! HAHAHHAA!!
and lily.. congrats 'coz you taught rp well in inhaling the smoke!! HAHAHHA!! i taught you well, kan? AHHAHAHA!! prisca taught me well! AHHAHA!!
(macam mereng tak abes laaaieee je nih! ekkekeke!!)
and drogo talks like one big brother somehow.. heehee!
you hobbitses are the best!!! i am so lucky!! weeeeeee~!! :x
ps: thanks for worrying prisc!! big hug to youuu!! >:D< tak sangke lak ade orang nak worry for me.. terharuuu~!! ekekke! :x

tatau nak cite ape!
though the night was wonderful.. some things still bothers my head..
i feel like a cow somehow..!
thanks shahnon for the maya installer!! now, tinggal nak buat aje.. hahahha!! (pemalas nieee)
agak sleepy..
i should be dozing off or i might say something even more stupid..

cow cow cow

Monday, January 19, 2004

bluerrgthhh !!!

i have a bad mouth
and an attitude to match.
not saying that i am bad all the time..
but sometimes i just dont give a demm.
i wont sympathize.. i never will..
'coz i dont want to be sympathize, myself.

my mind's a bit flaky for some reasons..
a reason that it's been bugged by a thought of someone who can't decide what they really want.
entahlaa.. when i'm talking about it, it doesn't seem so annoying.
but when i see someone else got so down over 'some things'.. it just bugs me.
i guess it gets a lil' annoying since it has 'something something' to do with me, kot.

banyak cursing lately. mentally unstable, i suppose.
rase nak mengamuk all the time.

i think i'm being unfair.. but what the heck!
i'm too tired to care.. a*hole!
do what you want.. say what you want..
i.. dont.. care!!
you'll get over it.. i know you will..
i know i will get over mine..

kadang kadang rase susah to express myself when i know my friends are reading this. probably if i get to turn back time.. on that historical june.. i would've made this blog private. let me be the one to judge myself. (though i don't really care what people think of me most of the time.. never really did) sometimes terase patut kesah.. and now i am feeling that way. terase patut kesah, when i'm just too tired of it!!!!!!!!

hahhaha!! okay.. okaay..
should drown myself into some pleasant thoughts now.. :)
one that can make me heppyyyyy~!! weeeeeeeee~

Cry hard, laugh loud
Be humble, stand proud
And don?t be afraid of your fears
Let love break your heart
Just be who you are
All of this
All that there is
I wish for you

Cry hard, laugh loud
Be humble, stand proud
Hold onto your faith with all your heart
Be careful, be brave
Be still but don?t stay
In any one place for too long
Remember God?s grace
Give more than you take
All of this
All that there is
I wish for you

~*taken from I Wish For You by Jessica Andrews



i've had the roughest.. toughest week

not in a mood to talk

end of story.

Friday, January 16, 2004

should you be sorry for me..?

things are just unexplainable somehow...

I'm sinking down
I feel like I could die
I'm fallin' off I don't know why

today I don't know why
I thought that it was real
but I guess it's no big deal

I don't know how
I don't know how
I don't know how to let it slide...

~* taken from Another Perfect Day by American Hi-fi

kenape nieeeeee???!!!
nothing has happened and my heart keeps telling me words that i don't want to hear.. maybe that's just it..
nothing has happened..
well.. surely some things happened!!
but i guess those things doesn't concerned with me.

yadda yadda yaddaaa~
my heart seems out of touch somehow. felt like something is wrong.. somewhere. agak numb sometimes. penat kot! or everything is just boring.
nak balek..
nak balek..!

incubus coming to malaysiaaa???
rase excited somehow. walaopon takdelah minat sangat kat diorang.. tapi cam best!! :) surely juvita and shery is all hyped about it! hehhee! brandon boyd's coming to town!!

okaay.. dalam perjalanan shutting my heart and head altogether..
maybe trying to get a short nap.

update: 4:17 pm.. chematto wasn't around for the re-re-submission. erwin commented some things 'coz there's this part on my photo that actually needs 'burning' but i was too tired to care in the morning! hummph! again, i took some time talking to the lecturers macam anak kecil. zul asked what aperture did i use, i said the largest - i think! and i looked at erwin and he shook his head, saying that he's not going to masuk campur. hee~ ('coz i DID looked at him as if i was asking for an approval) linda did the same too~ heehee~ konon cam mesra laa dengan lecturers sumer.. bluergthh!!
i'm really tired..

laughing gas

i was laughing like crazy just now at drogo's place.. err.. maybe i shouldn't be though.. me and prisca were there again to try and record our song.. (it gets better!!) kinda proud of ourselves, but maybe we got a bit tired.. me and prisc kept singing in a funny tune.. and can't stop laughing about it. tatau drogo memang marah ke tak.. isyk! we can't stop laughing after the last record 'coz we actually made some small mistakes 'coz we were actually keeping our laughs as we sing.. drogo, don't get angry!! especially not to prisca alone!! nak marah, marah me as well, okehh? ;)
memang ape kena ntah.. just can't stop laughing..
sangat gila!!

anyways! i need to shut my head..
it's not exactly my best friend, y'know!

suddenly crappy again~

Thursday, January 15, 2004

gelak tawa riang

hahhaha!! what a day..

Lily.. you're AMAZING!!
what a day..!!

woke up with my head spinning.. a bit troubled 'coz i was thinking too much about media process and media production. sangat risaauuu!! but it turned out okay after all!! weeeeeee~!
chematto nagged on me for sending my pictures outside for developing. he doesn't seem to be angry at me.. but he nagged and nagged.. ekekke! agak kelakar when i think about it. macam bapak yang bebel kat anak sebab degil.. heehee! tetiba nampak chematto sangat sweeeeet~ HAHHAHAHHA!! :p slut! ekkekeke!!! Then after i gave my name to encik zul, puan seri calls me up 'coz she wanted to see my photo. (last week's photo, actually! coz i don't like the one i developed yesterday) and she said "gamba cantekk~," HAHHAHA!! weeeeeeee~! and continued, "..tapi kuning" heehee! so i have to re-print! tomorrow morning! after the replacement mca class.. :(
anyways!! then, for media production, we couldn't play the cd we have!!! risau betul!!! but the lecturers skipped us and later we presented last! agak best.. to be the last group.. it's like.. all attention is on us! no distraction at all.. except "our" support team that consist of alitt, fairy, ina, amri, bika and rina. hahhahaha!! best betul! :D :D everyone has left the room except all those people i mentioned, fungusAMONGUS (our group's name) and the lecturers! lily was sooooooo cool!! she's SOOO neat!! she talked about the storyboard and she was great!! hahhaa!! while i just merepek about the video clip's concept. ekkeke!
and at the end.. what did that lecturer with the nice voice said to us??
"okay girls.. excellent idea!"
HAHHAHAHA!! they actually asked us loaaads of questions.. about location and lighting and stuff.. but they seemed interested with it and not 'questioning' if we can do those.. heehee~ sangat cool!! even ghaz and norman doesn't seem so annoying anymore! HAHHAHAHA!! weeeeeeee~!
then both ghaz and norman said the same thing to us..
"make it happen!"


tired tired.. but happy! i might get cranky in a bit, though.. heeee~


4:59 am
bertemankan sepaket twisties dan setengah botol air mineral.. aku memulakan kerja yang tak patut aku buat lagi.. berkali kali dah ulang benda yang sama.. aku naik bosan!! nasib masih lagi ada seperkara yang boleh buat aku tersenyum. sesuatu yang terletak di sebelah monitor komputerku ini. penyelamat.. daripada aku terus terhumban dalam kesedihan. aku masih lagi ada sebahagian daripada otakku yang dungu ini, yang terselamat daripada terus tercemar dengan fikiran fikiran bodoh.
mulakanlah buat treatment untuk media production.. untuk kali yang ketiga..
harapnya yang terakhir.

6:12 am
ekkeke!! tak tahan btol!! writing in malay just makes me wanna write in those way.. cam.. gedik tak tentu pasal! ekkeke!! rase cam rempit somehow.. huhuuu~
anyways!! i'm done!! quite a record.. got the treatment done in an hour plus.. :D now i just have to wait for any comments by the storyboard lady; shery if there should be any changes. amazed with myself!! :)) maybe 'coz there was no happy-distraction as i did it.. heehee.. :p
should get up early 'coz i haven't prepared for tomorrow's resubmission for media process..
chematto mengadeeeeeeeeee !!!!
ohh!! and prepare myself for media production's presentation..
haiyyo bebudak niee.. tak pasal pasal saja gue yang kenaaa!!

i want to get paid!

m e n y a m p a h & b o s a n

jealousy makes me stupid

sekali lagi word itu menjadi favorite untuk bibir ni ucapkan.. huhuu~
"biarlaah~" konon!
sebenanye susah bena nak biarkan!!!
memang sekadar di bibir..

insecurity makes me lame

what the heck is running through my mind??? sungguh tak patut rasa begini.. especially when there's nothing..

banyak kejeeee!!
and i'm having a mood!!
i hate this!
i hate what i see
i hate what i was told
i hate
i hate
i hate !!!!!!

and i'm acting stupid again......
udah udah laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
grrRrrrrRr (marah kat diri sendiri!)

i have work to do! just got back from drogo's place.. spent hours in his room with prisca.. rekod lagu..!! and now i should go to shery's room and finish up our storyboard for tomorrow's presentation..
note: 4:40 am, turns out that they didn't need me for the storyboard, but the treatment! huhuu~ asyik ubah ajee.. :p good thing i'm loving this one!

lame-o lame-o
i should stop yapping

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

pre-menstrual symtoms?

pms is it??
entahlaa.. maybe not, but i've been having a pretty rough mood these days. rase nak saiko sikit, but there's no reason for being so. huhuu~ mengade.. hypochondriac!

hypochondriac comes from the word hypochondria which means.. err.. go to for a precise meaning, but from what i understand.. maksudnye macam.. believing that you're sick even when medical results shows you're NOT sick. mengade laa.. manje.. manje.. ekkeke!!

what a tiring day..
sooo tired..
my back terase nak tertanggal..!

morning.. thought that i have the whole afternoon, free~! but then prisca told me that rosie-p told her that there were rejection of that story-telling photos in the morning's submission. adohai! boncit!!! hilang segala cool.. first thought of just resubmitting the same photo tomorrow, but we (prisc, rp and myself) end up going to the photo lab anyways to develop some pictures... bluerghh~!!
continued developing the pictures at 2 something with prisc.. UNSATISFIED even 'til the end!! my work is SO crappy!! honestly.. it's almost as if i've never develop my own picture.. stupid.. stupid..
really stupid!!
the only compensation from today is the fact that i had a good laugh with the three hobbitses after me and prisc were done, outside the lab. i brought my daun terop along just to kill some time while waiting for 2 o'clock.. but end up, all of us four played a game which rp called "mari kite lihat siapa yg kena~!" ekkekeke!! it's a weird fortune-telling plus Q&A game.. but it brought us laughs.. (mane tak nyee.. ade ke kasi soklan soklan bongok!) memang tak digalakkan untuk percaya game tu.. (or my life would be quite a disaster!! sediiiihhh!!!)
but it was a nice game to kill time.. :D

7 o'clock and it's still bright outside..
the sky is so beautiful..
and the clouds seem to be calling out.
you can actually believe that you may jump from cloud to cloud..
it's really beautiful!
it really is..
wish i'd feel the same for myself..
when i just feel like a real crap!

i hate uncertainty..
it blows my mind.
and i also hate jealousy..
especially when you don't know what you're really jealous of!
crazy git..
the airhead that i am.. bluerghh!!

see seee!! i am really acting like a real psycho here..

like this song, though...
Imaginary by Evanescence

i linger in the doorway
of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name
let me stay
where the wind will whisper to me
where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story

in my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
i lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me

don't say i'm out of touch
with this rampant chaos - your reality
i know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
the nightmare i built my own world to escape

in my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
i lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me

swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming
the goddess of imaginary light

dizzy up this girl~!

my.. friends.. are totally... bonkers!!

they are crazy!
they really are!!
crazy crazy crazy!
Prisca and Lily are crazy!
the two carries crazy heads..
.. and yucky too!

had a yucky conference with the two.. (don't know how we got a real fond of conferences these days!) but it was fun all the same. imaginations running wild, yaa?? HAHHAHA!! berus dawai.. that's really something, Prisc! :p me and Lily really didn't smuggle it into the toilet, okie slutty! ekkeke!! :))
okay.. been having a certain craze of folding up stars from papers.. heehee~! certain project for something.. heehee~ 8-}

somehow i wish the time would fly.. but not really!
'coz i really like the way it is right now..
hugs for those that makes my world just as it is!!!

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

round and round we go


you weren't there when i turn

i must be crazy for that, huh?

heehee~! o well! today was quite neat! been spending time with Prisca and Lily. laughing about just makes me so mereng at times.. heeee~ but today, i seem to have so many energy to throw away lah~ been jumping about.. running around.. laughing 'til i ran out of breath.. heehee~ i thank my two mereng friends for that! :x
funny how yesterday Drogo mentioned of being our "white lighter", and Prisc told him to take more care of her.. (he said "of course", lah kaannn) and Lil wants to be Prue and I wanted to be Phoebe.. (yeah, falling in love with an evil demon who loves me with all his life!) HAHHAHA!! agak macam Charmed ones lah kite..
but as i see it.. i AM charmed.. by all those that surrounds me.. :D
thank you koraaaaaang!!!


okay.. found this site for Unconcious Mutterings where it say ..something.. and i'll think ..something..

  1. Mitchell:: who??
  2. Mercury:: merchant
  3. Cycle:: pms
  4. Engagement:: ring!! (hahhaha!!)
  5. Alternative:: rock
  6. Gang:: mafia
  7. Emotional:: sentimental
  8. Skinny:: dip (hohho!!)
  9. Hypochondriac:: what??
  10. Insecure:: me

okehh! met kak yan and saw shahnon tadi..
that was my day.. itu je..
sekian, time kacehh!

unencumbered number words


your name is entwined to my heart

macam besh takk??
somehow i just thought of this line.. and i'm liking it!!! heehee~ macam perasan lak 'coz i feel proud somehow.. ekkekke!

according to Prisca and Drogo.. slut means sweet!
and now, Lily is using it to me..
"wanie slut"
tatau nak marah ke ape.. ekkekeke!!

liking this song for the moment
Jealous by Sinead O'Connor

You're jealous
You just can't stand to see me get along without you
Like I do, you told me to

Now you're jealous
You don't know how hard it was to be alone without you
And wanting you, like I do

I would've stayed if you'd wanted
Would have been willing
But you said I treat you so badly I can't be forgiven
You know I would have done anything
To make it through with you
But I don't deserve to be lonely
Just cuz you say I do

You're jealous
You don't know how hard it is to be a woman in love with you
When you're so cruel, and so jealous
You don't think about anybody's feelings but your own
Are you coming home?

I would've stayed if you'd wanted
Would have been willing
But you said I treat you so badly I can't be forgiven
You know I would have done anything
To make it through with you
But I don't deserve to be lonely
Just cuz you say I do

So if you're gonna go you've gotta go and if you're staying, stay
Cuz I can't take the pain you keep leaving when you go away

If you're gonna go you've gotta go and if you're staying, stay
Cuz I can't take the pain you keep leaving when you go away

I don't deserve to be so lonely
I don't deserve to cry, ohhhh
I don't deserve to be so lonely

okehh.. tatau nak cakap ape laie..


the orANge war is getting kinda out of hand, is it??
alahaai.. even when you said.. okaay.. proved that it IS orange after all.. wouldn't you think it's odd that 3 people actually see it as yellow?? hahhahaha!! majority speaks louder lahh! :p

today.. is not a very good day..
malah.. it's quite a bad day.. :(
there were some points that i can smile about (which only comes from one reason!!)


sorry for that.. something 'disturbing' just happened.. i feel so stupid all over again.. bluerghhhh!!


pondering if i said something not quite right..


like i said.. today.. i mean, yesterday is a horrible day..

not laughing any longer

Monday, January 12, 2004

red red blue red

it's a wonder.. when did i start loving red too much? humm?
well, going back to my room this morning.. i realized that my two bags were red (backpack and sling) and my shoes were red, and the top i was wearing had this red stripes. paling tak tahan, there was a diskette in my backpack (on an outer pocket, which you can actually see what i have there..) which was also in RED!! macam.. gilanyeeee! 8-}
remembering how i used to quarrel (well, not a REAL quarrel) with Arep how red is just ugly. hahahha!! klaka ingatkan.. 'coz it was the school sports day, and the red house was winning loads.. and i kinda swore to hate red at that moment. hahhaha!! well, blue house was kinda pathetic, really.. :p and somehow now, i just love the color red! hummph.. syhhhhh~ :-$ dont tell Arep or he might bring it up when i see him.. :p
media history was a bore.. the intro was kinda interesting.. when the lecturer tells of the early newspapers.. (i copied some notes.. FOR THE FIRST TIME!! hahhaha!! :p ) by the end of the class, i somehow get to write these on my scratch;

my heart never fails to beat
for the last 19 years
every heart beats
except for the ones who are dead
but today i realize
my heart beats differently
everytime i lay my thoughts on one certain thing
the heart beats crazily
so crazy that it almost burst
it beats when i think of you
you are my heartbeat...

rase nak tergelak! RP said it was sweet.. hohhohoo!! poetry busuk for bebudak busukk :p
weekend at Prisca's was kinda funny to be remembered. heehee~ takmo cerita.. :p i'm saving it for something.. :D
nak mengadu nak mengaduuuu..!!!
nanti lah kot.. hadooii laa..

Everything by Lifehouse

Find me here
And speak to me

I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place
Where I find peace again

You are the strength
That keeps me walking
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting

You are the life
To my soul
You are my purpose
You're everything

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this

You calm the storms
And you give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You steal my heart
And you take my breath away

Would you take me in
Would you take me deeper, now

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this

Cause you're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
Everything, everything...

Oh And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you

Would you tell me how could it be
Any better any better than this

Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this...

love Lifehouse!
ohh, by now you must've noticed the blogspot ad, 'aight? i've come to get lazy to get a tag that can lose it.. so.. if anyone has a tag for that.. heeelllppp!! :-S

okehh!! should get myself ready for creative communications!

Sunday, January 11, 2004

{ blinded }

yes, i am blind..
if only you can see through my eyes,
maybe then you'll know..
the one thing i'd like to see...
of all the things i can see,
i only want to see you..

"i'm blind and waiting for you~"
(taken from Goo Goo Dolls, Big Machine)

penat nieeee!!!
just got back from a day's out in the city.. kuala lumpur.. (eccewwaaah!)
been messing around with drogo's (abah! hahhaa!!) vid cam. experimenting how we'd like the shots to be like. but it was kinda hard though.. 'coz the real shot really need a few cameras and we only had one.. but it was okay!! walking around was actually fun!! but tiring..
the parking cost us rm11.80.. (we left the car in kl central and took putras to go around)
later then went to klcc to hang about though.. (managed to get rhumba, venti!!!) weeeee~! no more rhumbas for me this week.. i should really strain myself from buying too much rhumba.. (so costly!!) eeeeps!

money money money..
need more moneeeyyy!!

i wonder i wonder..
so tired right now..
i wonder if i can last tonight..
ho ho ho!
(macam ade pape aje tonight!)
..jelir lidah kat diri sendrik..

ok dahh!!
ps: still at prisc's place!

Saturday, January 10, 2004

sirap bandung

heehee~ that was my favorite drink when I was little.. (still love it, I think!) when I was at school, I was crazy for plain sirap.. even kacau kacau people on the phone by that name (when they ask for a name, I told them that my name was sirap! heehee~) Anywaysss!! the point is, Belba prepared me some food for me to bring and along with it is a full flask of sirap bandung!! weeeeeeeeee~!! :x
my friday and well.. today's afternoon wasn't so fun.. Izzati had a bit of fever since she had another shot some days ago. got better by today though.. but dia banyak melalak!! and I can't help but to melalak with her.. AHHAHAHAH!! spent most of my time sleeping.. which was good.. but I wish I had something else better to do! :-S
my results from last sem just got in.. and the words that came from Papa was, "wanie.. waniee.." adohh~! I was hiding my face under the comforter at that time.. when I shove it away, papa wasn't looking at me.. he was minding his own business.. and just now when he sent me here, he said, "put in more effort, okay" mmhmm~ I wish I can give you my word.. I'll try... HAHHAHA!! (oops!) Papa should NOT read this or he'll be sooooooo furious.. huhuuu~
A song is stuck in my head, but I don't know what..

Felt somewhat losing my head, but not really!
Seems like I don't know what I want, but not really!
Maybe I'm just nervous, but not really!
Could be I'm more to excited, but not really!
What's real is that.. I know what I like
(or who if it matters..!) (of course it does!! HAHHAHA!)
I wonder.. :x
He makes me wonder.. everyday.. :p

gelak gelak.. prisca has a new nickname for him everyday! suka atiiii aje.. :p
ohh! staying at prisc's tonight.. maybe tomorrow night also since we're going out tomorrow.. :D

tomorrow should be a productive day.. (fingers crossed!)

Thursday, January 08, 2004

h a p p y & c o n t e n t

heehee~ I am quite easy to please.. :D
had quite a day with those that matters to me..! :x
sneak out~ sneak out~

managed to get another rejection by Chematto. seb baik tak gi nyanyi and nari nari "Oops, I did it again!" ekekkee!! all that i managed to do was my merajok face! AHHAHAHHA!! as if he cared, lahh kan.. heehee! prisca was being sarcastic when she said "thank youu" after getting rejected! ekkeke!! wonder if he gets it.. :)) Chematto really hated mine agaknye.. belom sempat bukak overlay dah geleng geleng.. tapi lama lak dia perati before he shoved it. hummphh~ he's such a mystery! AHHAHAHA!!
afterwards we made a stop at the toilet.. lily was leaking! AHAHHAHA!! (siot je bunyik!) and prisc joined her.. merepek merepek at the door.. :D while me and rosie-p stayed outside, yapping about things.. heehee~! :x anyways, when we got to the elevator, Chematto was going onto it as well!! eeeeppss!! us hobbitses changed glances with smiles lah tapinye.. while we were in the elevator, he was like looking at us with amusement.. (so i thought!) maybe 'coz we were giggling about, kot. probably he was curious why we weren't all depressed like we ought to.. HAHHAHAHA!! :p

now i'm back in my room.. 5 hours before going back home.. :) haaaa~ what a good way to end the week.. (if this keeps on!) really sleepy now.. eyes are starting to go out of focus.. 8-}
thanks to you..
ekkekeke! :x :p

like this song!! a japanese song.. (prisca la nihh!) the translation seems neat, too! :D the song sounded like.. i don't know.. running.. like searching for something but happy doing it. heehee~! that's what i thought of how it sounded, anyways! :D

Is It You? by Hitomi

Time is fickle, what are the the stars floating in the night sky trying to tell me,
what kind of destiny do they have in store for me?
I dream what's in my heart
I wished on a shooting star for that one thing, just that one thing.

The moment I believed it was you,
a strong wind raged.
suddenly i found myself healed, and my doubts were gone
the road that goes on to the future I searched for,
If I'm with you, I think I can go
surely you're the key that opens the door.

new moon in the rain, that sky is crying
there is no consolation, waiting for the passing of time
I'm looking for the words to say to you,
I want to leave an image deeper deeper in your heart.

Because I can be strong, because I want it
No matter what happens, I won't give up on the complicated today.
The road we chose knowing how we felt about each other,
If I'm with you I'll walk it.
the new world starting from this place

kiss me like you're whistling
let's be just like we were that day
looking for the hiding place only we know.
just like this never changing.

The moment I believed it was you,
a strong wind raged.
suddenly i found myself healed, and my doubts were gone
the road that goes on to the future I searched for,
If I'm with you, I think I can go
surely you're the key that opens the door.

I knew it was you.


i love me~! :x
ekkekekeke!! :p

love this song.. kinda sad, but i think it's quite nice! (doesn't mean anything to me!)
Hello by Evanescence

Playground school bell rings, again
Rainclouds come to play, again
Has no one told you she's not breathing ?
Hello, I am your mind, giving you someone to talk to

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me
I'm not broken
Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello, I'm still here, all that's left
Of yesterday...

I'm lucky.. I should thank God for that..
So many things to thank for!! Biar ati ni aje yang tahu sape nak diterima kasihkan.. heehee! I'll thank them later.. :) The people in my life are simply awesome!! No doubt that I've cursed them at least once in my life.. (HAHHAHAHA!!!) but I always end up loving them even more.. heehee~!!
mata berpusing pusing, been up all night.. but i am stubborn!!
trying to make up for lost times.. heehee~!!! :x

and i still love me~!

now I'm really laughing!!!!

gila !!!!!!
but i'm happy altogether... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~!!!

prisca: see..ur stupidity pays off now !!

lily: nope
lily: not stupid enough
lily: but ..
lily: hell it is quite stupid

hahhahah!! these are the only two people that wants me to be stupid! ekekekke!!
sayang korang !!!!!
notice that we are all happy this night?
seems like everything's going on well~

now i'm suddenly excited about our song, now that i have the copy of our crappy demo!!! hahahha!! can't wait the time when we get all the arrangements!! weeeeeeeee~!! drogo says my voice was ghostly! hahhaha!! tak saba nyeeeee!!

Stay by Shemozzle
composer: Dzayed
lyrics: Wanie
tune: Asha & Wanie
penyebok: Bahijah

ekkekekek!! later baru taruk the lyrics.. heeheee!!


Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Laugh - Out - Loud

i am.. laughing out loud.. because i'm so silly.. so very very silly.. stupid too!!


i am blaming myself for everything
even for the ones that i knew not of
i am sorry for all the wrong-doings i know i've done
and also the ones that i knew not of
i'm wishing you the very best
even when i knew not of
where you are
where you've gone

my stupid freakin' EGO!! bukan ego laa.. more like.. umm.. insecurity..
what if the more i do, the farther he'd go away? takutnyeeeeeeeee!! but takpe.. i know i'll be fine altogether! heehee~! esok lusa wanie biarkan for real.. :D as for today, i'll just let my heart battle with my head.. it's more fun that way.. i can let my heart to make my head feel so stupid.. hahhaha!!

prisca: sampai bila wanie ??????????????????????????????????
prisca: pastinya mendungan hati kamu usah dilayan sangat
prisca: for once..just be stupid for once
prisca: be very2 stupid to do those stuffs !

lily: Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk
lily: number fourthteen tuh

sweetpea: hahhahah!!
sweetpea: okaay
sweetpea: babi btol
sweetpea: the fact that u guys are right

lily: yeah
lily: we are!
lily: kalau tak
lily: we wont be nagging you

oops! there's a tiny curse over there.. huhuu~~ but anyways!! the point is.. I have GREAAAAAAT friendss >:D< hug diorang! :x

sukanyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!
and rindunyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrr !!!!!

me and my STUPID thoughts..


shaddap lah wanie.. banyak sangat merepek!!

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

4 days without

you're missing..
you're missing..
which leads to

i'm missing..
i'm missing..

there's a 3 suku-kata word that i'm dying to scream
a word that gets me all hyped up for the fact it's just there
a face that i refuse to forget..
but also the face that gets me so confused
so confused..
so confused..

i want to forget how confused i am..
but i want to remember..
your face

always and always..

what... a... depressing... day..!!!
felt like pouring all my heart out about all the things that have happened through out these few days.. but.. hummph! nvm.. i'm just lost in my own thoughts again..

"biarlahh!", "takpelaahh~"

those two have been my most frequently said words for these some days..
depressing, yess...
but.. takpe ajelaaah~

just got back from a night's out with hobbitses.. :D memerengkan diri walaopun sekejap.
been having quite a nice day with those girls.. going to class and crapping about. :) those gurls are SO pervertish!! (and i'm not excluded! hahahhaha!!!) ..baik mengaku daripada orang lain point out, kann.. heehee~!!
today's group meeting was such a looong meeting! spent like 3 hours in hb3 just talking about the storyboard and cameras and stuff.. it was kinda funny at one point when i tried to materialize some shots to them.. heehee!
papa came by today and gave me some money.. (tadi tinggal rm5 aje!!!) and pasta belba made for me.. :x she's the best!! maaannn.. i miss home soooo much!! especially at times like this.. when i feel like falling.. fallling... failing... :|
nak huuuuuuggggg~!!!!!!!!!
staying at prisca's tonight.. it wouldn't matter anything to me.. staying in my room. better i be somewhere with a company all night.. tak ade lah diganggu fikiran bercelaru.. :) (i thank GOD for their existance!!) lil's staying here too!! :x

and it's a full moon outside.....

teringat kat lagu ini..
Buat Aku Tersenyum by Sheila On 7

Datanglah sayang dan biarkan ku berbaring
Di pelukan mu walaupun tuk sejenak
Usaplah dahiku dan kan ku katakan semua

Bila ku lelah tetaplah disini
jangan tinggalkan aku sendiri
Bila ku marah biarkan ku bersandar
jangan kau pergi untuk menghindar

Rasakan resahku dan buat aku tersenyum
Dengan canda tawamu walaupun tuk sekejap
Kerna hanya engkaulah yang sanggup redakan aku

Kerna engkaulah satu satunya untuk ku
dan pastikan kita slalu bersama
Kerna dirimu lah yang sanggup mengerti aku
dalam susah ataupun senang

Dapatkah engkau slalu menjagaku?
Dan mampukan engkau mempertahankan ku?

Bila ku lelah tetaplah disini
jangan tinggalkan aku sendiri
Bila ku marah biarkan ku bersandar
jangan kau pergi untuk menghindar

things are easier to be said than done..
but it gets harder when you can't even say, at all...

Monday, January 05, 2004

s t u p i d

I just simply am..

i don't know if i should be called stubborn or persistant..
if i should stay or leave..
i never knew..

i tried not to feel.. but who am i kidding??
even my friends can see me through..
i have been a glass for a while now..
i wish i was somewhat a crystal..
something precious that gleams even in the slightest light.

but i am just a glass..
unspecial and unpretty
the lights just goes through me..
you may seem to be looking at me,
when the truth might be that you're looking at someone else behind me..
'coz I never knew..

i wanted to believe differently.. so badly..
so badly.. maybe you couldn't see..
maybe you refused to see..

i wanted to believe that you did things for me..
but i am so afraid to believe..
wish i had something smart to say to you..
rather than these stupid things i say.

but i am just a glass..
unspecial and unpretty

break me..

getting to the point where i need you..
the thought and shadows that i adore..

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Sunday is a lazy day !!!

it's also a crazy dayy !!
ekekke..! Been spending the whole day sleeping.. It's crazy!! Last night me and Lily slept over at Prisca's.. Did nothing much though.. Saw How To Make An English Quilt on TV3 together.. it was quite a beautiful story!! But I think Tuesdays With Morrie, the midnight movie I saw with Dida some weeks ago was even enjoyable. :D Wonder when there'll be another re-run.. heehee! (tv3 kan suka ulang ulang cerita..! As a matter of fact, every station likes to do re-run!!)
After that we thought of going to sleep but we end up watching Drogo's DVD of Underworld! It was.. umm.. entahla! It wasn't as much fun as I thought it was.. It was interesting.. but nothing more. You can't go watch it with a hope to 'enjoy' 'coz the storyline is kinda mixed-up so you have think and remember a bit.. :D At least, that's what I thought of it.. Prisc went asleep halfway though.. 'coz it wasn't her thing.. movies like that.. But when me and Lily kept repeating the word sexy as we watch the movie (Beckinsale was wearing a very tight bodysuit) she suddenly stirred, "mane sexy?" ekekkeke!! Gatal betul budak niee! :p
Can't remember when we turned off the lights but we got to sleep at 6.. after lots of talking and yapping. (mostly me and Prisc.. Lily was like mabuk mabuk laut at that time)
heehee.. we got up at 2 pm!! HAHHAHAH!! Well, I woke up a while at 12 to recharge my dead phone but got back to sleep since the other two was so in their sleep!! Then we brushed our teeth, had lunch, (thanks Drogo!!) and recorded some things. Somewhere around 5 we all went back to sleep!!! HAHAHHAHA!!
Woke up again at 7.. huhuu~
Papa called today.. rindunye rumaaaaaaahhh!!! :(
ohh! Sorry encik An, tidak dapat nak tolong habiskan your BBQ semalam.. heehee! :p Thank you for inviting!! :D Terharuuuu~ ekkekee!!

Super Sarcasmo! You're the one with all the witty
wisecracks. We bow before you. Really, we do.

What Weird Quote Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

So I'm back in my room in MMU.. still haven't done my laundry..
Things have been a bit depressing these days.. I can't stop myself from getting lost, wandering in my own thoughts.. ehh!! Itu macam hari hariiiii aje! HAHAHHA!!
O well.. at least I know I have some people that loves me!! And I have great GREAT hobbitses to accompany me.. I shouldn't let uncertain things bother my thoughts.. kan? Kan?? Kannn???
:( O God please tell me I'm right.. :(


dizzy up this girl

I wish for you on a bright lit star,
where it shine so bright, can be seen from far,
I wish now that you're at my side,
but somehow you're missing this night..

needing you.. though i shouldn't be..


humm.. let see..
slept in early last night.. somewhere around 12.. after some things happened. no biggie.. everything's fine! :D
the morning started early.. went to Pak Tai with Prisc and Dro to see how the pictures went. I think mine was neat!! HAHAHHA!! though.. there's always a possibility of getting a rejection!! :| spent quite a while at the old shop, trying to decide which photo to enlarge.. then after picking one, we left and headed towards OU!
well, we were thinking what to have for lunch.. but nothing in KL seemed to attract, so since the earlier plan was too meet up Lily in KL (but she couldn't get there!) we decided to go to her instead! had pizza, and at 4 Lily came into the shop and tanpa diundang, amek satu slice and makan! :p
Then we all pusing pusing the new wing of OU.. which was HUUUGE!! but it was a nice watch.. note: it's getting irritating to see LOADS of kids are wearing those wheely shoes. pening betul!! toleh mane mane aje ade budak tengah skating around.. bluerghh! not jealous, mind you.. but entah nape.. bosan kot! ramai sangat yang pakai.. kids these days.. it won't surprise me if the future people will get reaaaally lazy!! jalan sikit pon malas.. hummph! and kids these days don't even go out that much anymore! stuck on computers day and night.. hummph!
anyways! sempat stop by at Starbucks!! yeyyeyyy!! thanks prisc for the rhumba.. :x
though you don't have to.. >:D< so it happens now that we have a tiny black dot in a past that we can't undo.. but everything's fine.. kan?? :) :x jangan sedih or risau risau okay! love you still..
hung out there for quite a while before heading back home.. err.. cyberjaya, I mean. :|
had dinner at malee and now will be leaving for Prisca's place! having a sleepover tonight! :D

something under the waters for someone under the clouds..

i did what i can.. i told you how i felt..
it's your choice what to believe
is it me.. or is it him..
hope you'd believe me..
your trust means the world to me..
but i won't force you to believe me..
i'll leave if you want me to..
just wish i have somewhere really far to go..

you kept giving me hard-to-answer questions.. i wonder what you expected for an answer.. somehow i felt like i've made a mistake.. have i made a mistake? hummph.. really need an answer.. but it seems like i'll be talking to a void yet again.. and i'm left to wonder again...
just wish i knew what you really think of me..

"saya suka dia.." (still disliking this)
[ this was typed out at 10:16 pm of January 4th ]

Saturday, January 03, 2004

to my bestest girl...

funny how I was pretty infurated last night..
the tireness didn't help, girl..
I'm sorry!
Should've waited to settle it out first before just going to bed..
Sorry girl!!
I was so tired.. so tired.. so tired...
and shocked.
It was mostly the shock...
Sorry girl...
Love you... need you too. :D
Just want to talk to you now..
Pandai btol kasi e-card camtuhh!! Cobit karaaang!

It Was You by Ashley Ballard

When I think, of what I've been through,
I can see that you've always been there for me
To tell the truth don't know what I'd do
Without you half of my dreams would not come true

You are the one
That I have hoped for
Now my life
Means so much more
Now we can be
Together Forever
Just you and me
I'll be here for you,
You're here for me

It was you,
Who showed me I had a friend in you
I always knew,
That you'd be right here for me,
and it was you
who stayed with me
when the skies weren't blue

and it was you,
who stayed by my side
It was you

Since the day
you came in my life
I knew then,
that you'd be someone,
right by my side
then you prove,
you're a friend to me
In my heart, where ever, you will always be

You are the one
That I have hoped for
Now my life
Means so much more
Now we can be
Together Forever
Just you and me
I'll be here for you,
You're here for me

And I knew it was you
And It was you,
Who showed me I had a friend in you
I always knew,
That you'd be right here for me,
and it was you
who stayed with me
the skies weren't blue
and it was you,
who stayed by my side
It was you

It was you who was always right by my side
When I just can't do it
You helped me through it
We're friends forever like best friends should be
You'll always be a special part of me

And It was you,
Who showed me I had a friend in you
I always knew,
That you'd be right here for me,
and it was you
who stayed with me
the skies weren't blue
and it was you,
who stayed by my side
It was you

Friday, January 02, 2004

Tercabut kaki~!!

What a daaayyy!! Such a long looong tiring day.. but it was a BLAST!!! Maybe 'coz I was with my two good buddies.. :D
Let see... went out at somewhere around 11:40 am, with Drogo drove us off to the ERL station.


there was supposed to be Lily, Prisca, Rosie-P and myself but RP couldn't make it since she got up so late! i kept bobbing my head in the train 'coz of the no-sleep stunt! hohoho! gelakkan diri sendiri 'coz i know i looked stupid with my head bobbing to the front.. (later settled on Prisca's shoulder.. heehee!)
so anyways! when we got to Central, we decided to have brunch at McD.. ordered Happy Meal!! decided to collect those alphabets.. hopefully I get to spell a name with those small alphabet bears.. heehee..
after meal, we got onto a commuter and stopped in Bank Negara station. so from Sogo we walked off around KL.. pusing pusing on foot which happened to be quite fun!! :D ought to do that again sometime later when we have more time to lose.. :D anyways! we end up in Pak Tai at somewhere around 5.. that was like.. 4 hours of walking around in KL..? hohoho! funnn!!
after sending our films for developing, we hop onto a taxi from pudu (it was raining then..) and headed towards Low Yat Plaza. Prisca was meeting up Drogo there and Lily's going back home with her brother picking her up from there.. while waiting we hung around Coffee Beans.. (there was no Starbucks in Low Yat!!) o yeahh.. how can i forgot?!! we were quite crazy while walking around.. me and the girls kept doing silly acts while footing.. ekkeke! singing stupid songs.. for an instance, while going into Low Yat, i joined Prisc sang her Low Yat song.. "Low Yat lo~~ ii ching wai" ? entah ape ntah the lines.. but as I kept repeating "Low Yat lo.. Low Yat lo..~" Prisc added, "marilah ke Low Yaat~" ekkeke! it was stupid, really! and we were actually crossing the road at that time, and the guys in front of us turned and was like laughing lahhh!! hohohoho! then me and Prisc walked real fast inside.. huhuu~ terase tak seda ade orang yang boleh denga, sedangkan nyanyi memang agak kuat! HAHHAHAH!!
anyways!! then Drogo finally arrived and me and Prisc left our stuff in his car.. Lily left with her brothers.. and since Drogo were staying with his friends in Low Yat, me and Prisc decided to go back cyberjaya by ourselves.
so started our 'adventure'! hohohoho! got onto the monorail.. (for our first time!!) then Papa called while I was in it.. and Papa said.. "ooOoO.. Papa tak penah naik monorail ngan erl..." hehhe! so i promised him to get onto it with him one day... heehee~! so anyways!! Sampai kat Central, walked some bits and got onto the erl train.. that was.. 8 o'clock! konon nak balek awal, kaann.. but end up getting to cyberjaya at 10!! HAHAHHA!! why?? sebab we didn't get off the train!! so we stayed on the train as it travelled from Central to KLIA.. KLIA to Central.. and Central to Putrajaya/Cyberjaya! HAHAHHA!! Then we got onto the bus that took us to MMU/Cyberia.. :)

It was fun... Prisca is a lot of fun.. :)
[ this was typed out at 10:39 pm of January 4th ]

I wish I knew more of things...

and I keep wishing for something that I can't have...
how pathetic can I get??

Been spending the whole day with hobbitses!! :x You guys are SO like family!! Drogo is like a brother who got together with Prisc; which is my best friend.. and Lily is my other best friend! ekekke!! Thanks for being around guys.. :x
Been spending yesterday sleeping.. then had brunchner (breakfast-lunch-dinner) at McD's with the three.. then went to Prisc's house to see some video clips and then had an MPM meeting at 9 pm. The meeting lasted for about 2 hours.. and then me, Prisc and Lil went to Sinbad to seesha. (Drogo is so cooooool!!!) Crazily cool.. Memang gilaa.. sangat gilaaa!! It's a wonder how he lets Prisc uses the car even without a P!! Got there around 12..
Stayed there for more than 2 hours! Waited for Drogo to join us since he was with his friends playing snooker at someplace.. heehee! (gila kan? suka ati tinggalkan kereta..!) We were the last customers left from our seats.. sempat weng weng.. ekkeke!! Except Drogo.. ('coz he's a guy!) and Lily (coz she puffs!) Oklaa.. that's me and Prisc laughing like crazy at one point.. hohoho!! Weng betul.. two nights ago we were at that shop in front of Breakers.. seesha! And last night we seeshad again!! Weng kann??
Better jauhi.. adohh laa~ ekekkeke!!
(macam ade sedikit weng left in my head..?)
Got back to MMU at around 3.. and then started doing the treatment for MPM!
Thank you DaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRRRrrrRrrRrrRrRR!!!
Temankan whole night as I did the treatment! Kalo tak sedih ajee.. buat keje sorang sorang... :( Tapi taaak!!! :x heehee~! Tapi jahat at one point for mentioning about antuu.. hummph~! :p Tapi takpe.. seb baik temankan orang buat keje.. heehee! :D :D :D
So I've been awake for the last 18 hours! And in some bits I'll be having my shower.. and will be going out to shoot some photographss in KL!! HAHHAHA!! And I'm dizzy.. really.. But never mind.. I need to shoot some photos or I'll stuck with really nothing at all! :|
Jyaa~ byebye~!!
hope I'll have something nice at the end of the day!

dizzy dizzy weng weng~ @_@

Thursday, January 01, 2004

strained voice chords..

suara serak sikit.. :D Maybe I screamed too much.. or took so many smoke last night.. :D or 'coz I've been singing like crazy in the room 'coz Kak Mai and Kak Siti aren't around.. heehee!!

Ku Milikmu (Juara Lagu version) by Siti Nurhaliza

Seringkali menunggu renunganmu
Bagai memanah dikalbu
Ku bertanya oh siapa
Dan kini ku menanti kau bersuara
Tidak mungkin aku yang memulakannya dulu...

Jika engkau cuba mengerti
Apa yang tersirat dihati
Apa lagi perlu kau ragu
Ku milikmu
Cubalah engkau menghayati
Isyarat cinta yang diberi
Jika dirimu tahu
Ku milikmu

Jangan nanti debarku kian berakhir
Menunggumu berubah pula nanti hatiku
Yang kumahu dirimu
Kemaskan langkahmu
Manisnya kurasa andai bersama oh...

Jika engkau cuba mengerti
Apa yang tersirat dihati
Apa lagi perlu kau ragu
Ku milikmu
Cubalah engkau menghayati
Isyarat cinta yang diberi
Jika dirimu tahu
Ku milikmu

Walaupun diriku sering saja diganggu
Dipujuk dirayu
Hanya kau difikiranku
Dirimu yang ku nantikan

hidupku kau istimewa
ku ingat untuk selamanya
tak bahagi dua
kalau bersatu tiada dua
lampu hijauku sentiasa menyala nyala
untuk kamu
cinta setia cermin cinta kita
kamu lafazkanlah kata kata cinta
agar terbinalah istana bahagia
untuk kita tempuhi bersama segera
kamu mulakannya

Jika engkau cuba mengerti
Apa yang tersirat dihati
Apa lagi perlu kau ragu
Ku milikmu
Cubalah engkau menghayati
Isyarat cinta yang diberi
Jika dirimu tahu
Ku milikmu

kau milik aku, aku milik kamu
kau milik aku, kamu untuk aku
kau milik aku, aku untuk kamu

Jika engkau cuba mengerti
Apa yang tersirat dihati
Apa lagi perlu kau ragu
Ku milikmu
Cubalah engkau menghayati
Isyarat cinta yang diberi
Jika dirimu tahu
Ku milikmu

ekkeke!! Juara Lagu version, I said.. Well, added the rapping part by her sister, but one line at the dotted line with the star was left out 'coz I couldn't hear it clearly. Been watching the clip over and over yet again! ekeke!! Really enjoyed the new arrangement. :)) Sangat sukaaaa~!!

Me and my friends woke up quite late today.. heehee!! Only saw them online somewhere around 3.. :)) I woke up somewhere around 11 but got back to sleep 'til around that time too.. ekekke!
Felt as if there is more to say in here.. but I don't know what... :|
I haven't had my shower.. I haven't changed my clothes since last night. hohoho!! Just changed my pants into some really comfy one.. :D Terokk!! And now I'm feeling like going back to bed! HAHHAHAHA

kinda hard to believe that it's 2004 already..

mabok mabok mabok

mabok cintaaa~!!!! hik~*
Just got back from celebrating the new year's eve with hobbitses; Lily, Prisca and Drogo. :D I was wrong about not enjoying myself.. turns out that it was a cool outing after all!! :x
Let see.. after recording our first demo, we all went back to our rooms and changed into something more... err.. festive? ekkeke!! We all looked rather typical, really.. :p
buying a balloon!!At 6:15 (maybe..) we left Cyberjaya and headed towards Bukit Bintang. Had an early dinner at Nasi Ayam Hainan :x and then walked around around around..! lily's balloon.. floated away! ekekke!!Lil, Prisc and myself got ourselves a balloon and yes, we walked around town with balloons in our hands.. except for Lily though!! Coz her's somehow got untied and flew off to Lot 10's roof!! ekkekeke!! Gara-gara seronok sangat jumpe Aine.. her sisters and also Fananana.. ekkeke!! Fananana said that I was cute!! HAHHAHA!! Kelakar... macam orang tak tahu aje.. HOHOHO!! (menyampah tak menyampah taak??) ekkekeke! :p
Walked again and found a spot to hung about at somewhere around 9:30. Waiting for midnight was pretty much a torture.. Yeah, so I did saw some err.. nice-looking guys around but they were there just to be looked at ajelah! :D Kinda kelakar remembering this one guy that I had an eye-contact with. hohohoho!! Rase cam lawa lak tetiba.. ekkekek!! But entah entah dia pandang sebab I looked weird!!! HAHAHHA!! (biol~)
kinda like this pic lahh

Okay, other than Fananana.. we also saw Ana Besa, Sherry, Zam, Aban, Achot, Nana and some chinese peeps we were familiar with from MMU. heehee~ Errr.. most of the ones we saw was carrying a camera.. terase terok!! They were holding to their cameras while we were holding some balloons.. ekkeke!!
Ohh! Also saw kak Hana Isfahani, Belladonna's good friend from UKM! (kantoi~!) She stopped me right in the middle of a crossing and said, "Wanie?" ekkeke!! adehh~ I wonder if she'd tell Belladonna that she saw me.. ekkeke!!

fireworksss!While waiting for midnight, we took some silly pictures as we picnic-ed.. Really, waiting for 12 o'clock was soooo dull!! But counting down was pretty neat!! Rase cam party-people lak somehow.. but come on!! This was really my first time celebrating new year's with my friends.. heehee! :x Thanks koraaaaaanngg!! :x
After watching the 8 minutes show of fireworks, we waited a while before leaving.. (to avoid those pervertish hands!) And as we started walking, we could see all those stupid old smelly rempits at every corner of BB. bluerghhh~ They ought to be terminated lahh!! Busukk basi sungguh!! :-& Most of them were acting like sakais! hyuckk~
poor car, got vandalised with those party sprayss!

Afterwards we went to Hartamas for a drink... ahaa.. drink! :p Watched some people got drunk like crazy.. with puke at some corners.. hyuckk~! So this is Malaysian people at new year's! They're mostly horrible and somewhat losers laa I think.. Tak reti minom tu jangan laa minommm!! Ade tu tertido tido kat jalan.. Boncit btol! But hanging out there was kinda nice.. :)) Got a lil' bit weng.. The guy at the shop was friendly! Sukaaaa~! He'd smile everytime he cathes your eyes.. bagus sungguh! :)
Ohh! Tersempak pula dengan my old school friends.. Ajim and Alip!! HAHHAHA!! (kantoi laie~) Terlupa name Alip tadi.. somehow nak tersebut 'Alitt' 'coz I know his name started with "A".. hadohh~ Kesian diaa.. heehee! Nice catching up to those guysss!! WAAAAHH~!! Ajim seemed to be putting a bit weight lah! ekkeke! Rase kelakar pula~
Anyways! Left Hartamas at somewhere around 4, I think.. :) Gone back MMU with a full-bladder.. Really felt like exploding!! HAHHAHA!! Had to run over to the toilet after putting down all my stuff in my room.. :))
Thanks you three!! Had a fun night laah!! :x Terlepas kepingin si Bahijah sheesha ekk! ekkekee! :p
Sleepy.. I think I can sleep now. After all it's already almost 6!

Guess I'll be sleeping my day through.. :D

Thoughts by The Uninspired. © 2014

Blogger Templates by Splashy Templates