Tuesday, February 01, 2005

homesick.

it feels something like it. i'm just too darn bored at this place and it gets me SO ANGRY and FRUSTRATED!!
i am frustrated for the fact that i did my work so slow that i only manage to get it done at 4, and when i got to the tutor's room, i realize that i stupidly left my sketch on my desk and now i can only pray that she'd accept my sketch tomorrow or she wouldn't even mark my work! (not that it's going to get exellent marks or anything like it,) but i will be really REALLY pissed if it turns out tomorrow that i've wasted my entire today on something i don't remotely like. [scream here]

if only i managed to get my work done by 1pm. i would've jumped on a bus and could be lying in front of the tv with the comfort of home right now. [scream here, again]
and the fact that papa is at home with no one else really bugs me. (dida will be back from labuan tomorrow evening, while mama have been in puteri pan pac for work since sunday) i really hate the thought. just HATE IT!!!! what's worse is that our phone's access has expired so i can't call him and vice versa. I HATE!!! it gets me worried sick everytime papa is off alone. I HATE I HATE!!!!
of course he can take care of himself but there's that ugly thought that keeps reminding me how papa is 36 years older than me. I HATE!!

i still think that my parents will live forever. well, logically; not forever.. just, long enough to see me graduate, long enough to live in the house i bought them, long enough to see me get married, long enough to see my children.. just long enough for all that. and everytime reality hits me that they just might not get to see all that makes me all depressed and sad.
what's worse, even though i realize all these things, i'm still not a good daughter to them. haaih~

great. now i'm bored, frustrated and depressed!

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