Tuesday, April 05, 2005

...someplace else.

humm.
despite that i don't even feel like typing right now, i actually feel the need to at least try to explain the frustration. weird? yeah. anyways, i just feel like a real good-for-nothing person today. just a stupid existence and a major waste of space. there. and now, i could just hit my head for even saying that 'coz i SHOULDN'T! this is such a weird day; i'm just really emotional and maybe a bit more dramatic than i usually am, i don't know. morning was a rough start, and it didn't even get a bit better. okay, maybe a bit when i went for lunch after the exam with the girls but afterwards it just got worse. got hit by a realization; on how hard was the exam paper. i felt real stupid for leaving out as much blanks as i did! GOD!! obviously i'm not among the people You love. ooh~ don't get me started on that subject or i'll just cry. SO moving on.. this head. i wish this head will shut up and stay quiet for at least 5 minutes! just 5!! i actually thought of 11 topics that i could write out on this blog since yesterday! and what's frustrating, when i finally got myself in front of the pc, they all seemed to just flew off and left me quite dumb. i don't think i'll ever find anyone who gets mad at herself/himself as much as i do. maybe i'm not as lucky as i thought. *scream!* i'm doing it again. no, i AM thankful for all the luck i keep getting. i just.. want to cry. *sigh* i'm not making any sense, am i? been trying to explain myself but it's useless! i'm just too frustrated about everything right now. most probably frustrated with myself for being so ME. me who knows exactly what is right and wrong, but keeps on ignoring the things i should and shouldn't. me that knows exactly what she wants but simply isn't working her butts off for it. me who is smart, but wasting all of her time fooling around and do moronic things. me who wishes for all the things she couldn't have if she keeps on rambling in this blog. yeah. useless. how did i get this way? i wonder if my family thinks of how useless i am as much as i do. maybe they do. couldn't blame them. i'm slacking off too much. too spoilt and too care-less. useless. definitely useless! *sigh* blame the world for being so big that i keep wishing to explore. blame the internet for resetting the connection while i was downloading a file. blame music for being so beautifully created. blame myself for being the 87% sagittarius that i am!

Help! by McFLY
(listen to the Beatles' if you like!)

(Help) I need somebody
(Help) Not just anybody
(Help) You know I need someone
(Help)

When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now these days are gone
I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind
I've opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

And now my life has changed in oh, so many ways
My independence seems to vanish in the haze
But every now and then I feel so insecure
I know that I just need you like
I've never done before

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger, so much younger than today
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now those days are gone
I'm not so self assured
Now I find I've changed my mind
I've opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being 'round
Help me get my feet back on the ground
Won't you please, please help me
Help me, help me..

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