Saturday, February 25, 2006

Hated.. again.

There is a boy.. whom I really like.
But to me.. he and every other boys are like really sweet chocolate chip cookies. Exactly the thing I can't say no to. Exactly the thing I'd long for once I realize how long it has been since the last I've had it.
But everytime I get a bite of that sweet cookie.. I'd feel guilty for indulging myself and for having such a horrible self-resistant.
As much.. as often as I wanted to have it.. I just couldn't cause it'd cost me so much. If there is one thing I could really die of, it'd be guilt. My conscience would never let me live with so much guilt in my heart.

There was a boy.. whom I really liked.
I might actually still like him. But the guilt in my heart is stamping on my feelings for him.. so much that I just couldn't tell him how I really felt for him.
It'd be unfair to let him wait until I decide. It could take ages before I really know what I want out of "us", and I know that he must've longed for a companion.
I couldn't be it.

There was a boy.. who used to like me.
He should be very upset with me. He'd probably curse the moment he talked to me about his rough life. He would probably curse those minutes he spent looking at me.
Little did he know that I am right here, cursing the fact that I am me.. as shallow and as fickle as I can be. Little did he know that I had been saving my smiles for him. So little did he know that I liked the way he held my arm so I wouldn't fall.

There had been a boy.
Forever I'll remember him as my very sweet cookie. One that I had nibble on and put away so I won't hurt him more.
Little do I know how much I've already hurt him.

Boy, you could've been it. So soo much, that it's scaring the hell outta me.
Who am I kidding? I get scared all the time!


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