Monday, July 31, 2006

I'm disoriented.

Been feeling weird this entire night.
My head has been spinning since the afternoon and it still is. I'm not exactly sick, but this "spinning" has got to end soon or I might just throw up.

My dad caught a glimpse of my Blogger status-page earlier and he chuckled when he read the huge title; Absent minded ramblings. heh! It might not sound great but a chuckle.. a single piece of recognition could really swell me up in pride. Especially when it comes from my dad since he's not the kind who gives away compliments so freely.

I know that kinda sounds like it should mess up my psyche so let's avoid getting in too deep on that topic and allowing myself to claim that I am the way I am because of the way my father had treated his children. How completely Freudian.

There had been a rerun of Oprah tonight; it was the one with Ricky Martin talking about child trafficking and the new homes for the tsunami survivor in Thailand. I admit that Oprah is a nice person and cares about a lot of things, but I'm starting to get really irritated by her!

1. Remember that episode with Paula Malai Ali representing all Malaysian women? What a lie that was! She had made it sound like every women in Malaysia would spend an afternoon threading their eyebrows, looks great 24/7 and lives in a large apartment. Honestly, if Oprah really cared about "Malaysian women", she should know that Paula is by no means suited to represent this country.

2. On tonight's show, they were trying to point Indonesia on a map on screen but what-d'ya-know, the red dot was actually in between Thailand and Malaysia!! Nowhere near Indonesian land! Come on, how can anyone works for a wide-audienced show and let a slip up that big?? Honestly, if you can't tell the geographical locations, just skip it! It was seriously disturbing.

I probably shouldn't blame on Oprah and blame on the show's producer or something, but I won't sit here quiet and let her slip by. It's her show and she practically advertises herself as someone who really cares and smart.
Doesn't look smart to me.
Ohh and don't get me started on her magazine!

I'm certainly not angry. Just, very annoyed - and irritated.
But on a lighter note,
Happy Birthday Joanne Rowling!
- and Harry too, of course!

Currently listening to: the winds outside, bringing forth the rain.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Quiet day.

Well.. compared to yesterday!
The only thing worth mentioning was Muz' call about my copy of PS, I Love You 'cause Lena had wanted to borrow it - which isn't really worth mentioning.

Ciao tutti!
Just wanted to tell you guys that I'm moving all my podcasts to this place. I had a small panic attack when I saw my Geocities account has almost reached its limit! yikes!
Hate it when things reaches its limit!
So I'm going to remove all those embeded files in this next hour - or at least most of them.

Currently listening to: We Belong Together by Gavin Degraw

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Podcast #6

download it! (the link will take you to a different site.)

Also.. listen to Podcast #7!
You can also go here.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Biting more than I can chew..?

Just.. did something that I might (MIGHT) dread.
The idea of it is excellent.. if it works out, I'll be as ecstatic just as much as I'd be shaken.
Well, I'm hoping that it will work out so at least I can decide for real if I can go along with it.

I have time before I need to decide.
Just have to make sure there is a decision to make!

Thursday, July 27, 2006


my mom has suddenly taken up exercising for what ever reason.
have - to - erase - the image of her skipping with that skipping rope.

and my dad plainly laughs at the way I sing since I had my earphone on.

just great.
my family the comedian.


My father has ESP!! *lol*
I was looking at him and said that I feel like eating something. He offered me some crisps but I didn't feel like eating those, so he just looked at me and suddenly something in both our heads just clicked!
He was like, "let's.." and I went, "really?" and got up from lying in front of the telly as he got out of the couch and put on his "outside" pants. All the while my mom was looking at us and kept asking, "what? where are you two going?"

We went to A&W in PJ.
I had coney dog and a rootbeer while my dad got the waffle with ice-cream. Then he asked, how would I rate that waffle with a Belgian waffle, and I said... "it's incomparable" and he slouched as a respond, but as a joke - I think! I hope! 'Cause if it's serious, I said some considerably nasty things after that then.

Okie! Enough blogging! I should be reading some book or write some really smart things actually!
1:59 am

Podcast #5

download it! (the link will take you to a different site.)
You can also go here instead.

I did podcast.. and took a bit of pictures. (I was bored..)

my Moleskine notebook the desk me.



who was left wanting.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I had an urge

I went out today.
Was planning to go out at eleven but my darned tudung seemed to be making a habit of disappearing just when I needed it, so I only managed to step out of the house a quarter past. Late, yet still hoping that I'd manage to catch the 12:30 show of The Lake House in GSC - I failed, naturally, and I blame the stupid KTM commuter's schedule completely!

So I bought a ticket for the next show which was at 2:45. With hours to waste, I decided to go to MPH in hopes of saving a little money from buying a certain cup of something from a certain familiar chain store - which was fab since I can easily spend an hour around Classics and Chick Lit alone! But of course, by the second hour it became hard as I can easily find three books that I should read everytime I enter a bookstore. In today's case, I found ten!! - and by the end of The Lake House I had made up my mind to buy a completely different book (different as in it wasn't among the earlier ten books that made my list). So I returned to MPH but unfortunately I couldn't find a single copy of it!!
I went home with a frown. Heartbroken was the word.

The Lake House was nice. It was predictable to a point - until a small twist of chance - predictable non the less, but nice. Really. There were moments that made me wonder how they let it go that long or slow, or how the camera sat still not even moving an inch to make the scene slightly more interesting, but it shouldn't matter much to anyone else.

If you're not a big fan of logical things, this is the movie for you. As for me, I love this film and I think fondly of it but I couldn't help wondering how the letters of the main characters; Alex and Kate, could possibly defy the laws of physics! You can't blame me for being curious.
The film didn't get me any close to crying as I had expected. I guess my logic sort of got the better of me, instead of the usual; submersing my thougts into the romantics of the entire thing. Pity.

Now wishing that I had loads of money to buy all those books I saw today. I might go back though. A complete collection of Shakespeare's works for RM19.90!! The same price goes for Oscar Wilde's! I'd be crazy to not snag it up sometime soon!! (might have to ask my dad for some money though *lol*)

Anyway, later my dad picked me up from the commuter and I had my super late lunch at McD waiting for the time to pick my mom up. We headed to the MPH in SACC since my mom was running late and guess what? I found the 11th book on my list!! woot~!

Currently reading: Persuasion by Jane Austen
and listening to: This Never Happened Before by Paul McCartney (download!)
ps: stupid love song!!
pps: you should know that I don't really find this song stupid.
ppps: but it's making me stupid.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

You And I Both

So it's an old song..
But I couldn't help falling in love with this song all over again. It's the word unencumbered that got me listening to this song again!
There are certain songs that I really remember because of the words that were used in the lyrics. Another fine example, Muse's Time Is Running out. The word asphyxiated just gripped me somehow.

I love words. They are the most wonderful things in the world.
heh. Such a geeky entry this is.

Currently listening to: Jason Mraz

Slightly ticked.

Of course, this person who ticked me couldn't possibly tell that he's ticking me off since it's typically me not to come up to one's face and completely poke them in the chest. Confrontation makes me nervous. I might be born with a quick wit, but don't ask me to speak so much of that wit. I'm only good with words when I write. I stutter a lot when I speak - or spit. *lol* I'm rambling.

Now that our family has got a new ride (since that whole Dida's accident thing late last year!) Papa had suggested that we went to OU to try out that Waffle World (? sorry, not quite sure of its name) shop. Now that I'm around and have actually tasted Belgian waffles, we're going to see if the waffle there is any good as the waffles I had in Belgium. haha! My dad's idea - not mine!
So we might head there sometime this week, and I am hoping that I could fix my guitar around that time! (sheesh! I've got to stop yacking about the guitar!)

I was eating one of those Mini Cornetto's earlier and I felt so lucky!
I just feel lucky that I wasn't allergic to peanuts! Okay, laugh at this if you will but you have to be thankful if you're not allergic as well! Think about the things some people might have to miss!
A good cone of ice cream.. honey glazed cashews.. a complete nasi lemak meal.. sambal kacang!! I'm thankful that I'm not allergic to sambal kacang, that's for certain! *lol* I'm rambling again.

I've been misspelling things lately. It's like, just now when I had wanted to spell cashews, I'd spelled it sashews. Or sone for cone, and vice versa with things that should start with an S instead of a C. Nina joked that I have an odd kind of dyslexia. Sabo je laa..
It's annoying, having to go back and correct these small things when I'm easily irritated by grammar/spelling mistakes! Hopefully I'll get over this soon.

Dida messaged me earlier and told me she was at Pathe to catch The Break Up. How unfair! It'll only be out over here in August 3rd. But The Lake House isn't out yet over there and I might catch it this Wednesday if I feel like going out! hah! Eat that! *grins* But I'm proud that my sister is watching a movie at the cinema by herself! That is so Wanie. *rofl*

Okay! I suppose that's enough of a "jumble of things". Just wanted to let off some steam while I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to write next.

Currently listening to: Just My Luck by McFLY (download!)

Monday, July 24, 2006

The kiddies gone.

Nina and the kiddies went back to Seremban earlier today.
Poor my parents. Now the house has become extremely quiet in comparison when they were around. Okay, I can make them laugh every once in a while but only the kiddies could puke on the floor and became heavenly adorable the minute after - even when the nauseating sour smell of regurgitated milk still lingers in the air.

Unfortunately I don't have that gift.

Nina took my Travel Journal with her since I wanted her to see the pictures I took while I was away. God, I hope she'd really ignore the awful things I've said about Dida on our way to London! yikes! I was really crabby at the time.
Sometimes I do feel sorry for what I've written in the past. The downside to a journal/blog, I suppose. You wish you could take some things back but it's already there and to strike everything out would be a total waste of effort. ha!

I'd like to be merciless, but I'd rather not be inhuman.
On a different note, I wish other people would update their blog as much as I do! ahhahahhahaha!! Wishful thinking, obviously.

Currently listening to: I Predict A Riot by Kaiser Chiefs


Bonjour tout le monde!

Anyways, it wasn't really a nightmare that I had. Well, just a little maybe.
I was dreaming that I was back in school and I was late for a pop quiz! sheesh! And all the good places were taken and a dear friend pointed me the only acceptable seat was near this one guy I used to know in school and I dreaded it. I was smiling a lot, but all the time I was wondering "why the heck am I smiling so much??"
Okay, the fella was a nice guy. A little too nice for my own liking, honestly. haha! That's the only reason why I dreaded him actually.

Didn't mean much that much anyway.

I shall refrain myself from posting right after I wake up next time. I always feel silly everytime I talk about my dreams - especially when I have nothing else to say afterwards. Like this.

Ooh, Tiger Woods won the British Open! woot~!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Silence Is A Scary Sound

Honestly, if I have an electric guitar, I'd play this song!
It isn't really that great, but I just love the fact that Dougie sings in it. (He hardly ever sings.) I even sent this song to Muz! *lol* Just because she loves Dougie, of course.
And I also love the fact that Danny only sings one part in the entire song. It makes the song a little special somehow.
By the way, I'm not going to share the song here.. just because this is my favourite favourite band and I'm just selfish that way. heh!

Ohh, in case you're wondering why I've been talking a lot about songs lately, it's just because I have nothing else better to write about!
..and writing is such a big part in me that I need to write whether it is any good or not. (On the rare occasion, I do come up with something considerably good!)

I don't remember when was the last time I wrote in my journal. I suppose I have nothing much too personal to hide from the blog, and nothing too exciting to yack so deliberately.
Plus, I've made a mental note to write nothing but a story. *snicker* A vague attempt of commitment.
That idiotic thing really rots the mind now that I think about it. I hate to admit that some of my works is turning out as an accidental version of something I've seen before. Curses.

Silence is a scary sound, Dougie!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

I'm a sex machine ready to reload

Been listening to McFly's cover version of Queen's Don't Stop Me Now that made the official song for the 2006 Sport Relief.

I wonder why British singers/bands likes doing cover version on any song they can get their hands on. It's a bore for most of the time. Honestly, can't they write a new song??
Ronan Keating singing Iris that was originally sung by Goo Goo Dolls? Honestly!

Just lucky that I happen to adore McFly, that even when I know for a fact that they've recorded at least 9 covers(!!!) I still love them. *sigh* But it's terrible, isn't it?

Of course, in a way they introduces those old songs to a younger audience. That's how I know songs like Honky Tonk Women, Lola and Pinball Wizard at least.

It has been a testing day. The kiddies are a test and I find myself boiling every half an hour. And I registered on MySpace 'cause I was tempted since there's McFly and JC on it.. 2 minutes later I cancelled the account 'cause I thought I was being weak!
Idiotic, I know.
Ohh, and I missed yet another episode of Danny Phantom yesterday, so really.. idiot is the word.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Tiger Woods Eagle

Sounds like a red indian name of some sort.

Was following the British Open Championship on telly with my father. We were glad that Tiger Woods is performing as brilliantly as he could've been since he didn't make the cut in the US Open. (It was his first game after his father passed away.)
That eagle on the 14th hole today was brilliant!
And his expression and his caddy's were amusing!

I must add though, the course in Royal Liverpool is extremeley horrible! Might be the hot summer weather but it definitely looked terrible with the small green patches as the rest of it were brown. Really.

Not too keen on sports?
Too bad! *smirks*

So much drama!

And I thought my life was eventful!
Well.. not exactly! My life has always been quiet, really. Exciting, yet quiet for most of the time.
Anyways! Been reading these series of things and it deeply disturbs me. I suppose it's the sort of mind I have. You know, I feel like it's okay for a bunch of people to hate me, but when I see some other people hate each other.. breaks my heart. Oddly. I usually don't give a rat's ass about this kind of things. Too much drama to be bothered with! But.. it's sad, really. (Then again, it is my job to romanticize things so for me being sad over this, isn't really that odd!)
Well, as long as everyone in it is happy.
My thoughts don't matter one bit.

Although I must say, the major grammatical error was the thing that disturbs me the most! *manic laugh*

Went around Subang and PJ earlier, trying to find a photo store that could process my two b/w films. To no avail! I'm finding films very troublesome now.
I LOVE films, actually. B/W films, especially, but trying to find a store that can actually process them.. is starting to annoy me real bad!!

Missing Europe.
Doesn't feel right, but I am.
And Dida told me last night that 5 people have died in Europe because of the heat.

Thursday, July 20, 2006


A fella named Chris Lam from a well recognized company emailed me today.
I feel smart! heehee.

Not in a very cheery mood, actually.
And the weather isn't helping either.

I take that back.
Exercise really makes you feel good.
Either that, or the exercise ball I was playing with Nina was seriously intoxicating!!

Really, sharing is caring.

Ciao tutti!

Now let's listen to something somber and dark today.
I am currently listening to Hate Me by Blue October.
(download here!)

Okay, going out with the old ones (my parents! hahha!!) and the kiddies in a bit.
Yepp.. the kiddies are here! A menace, those two are.

Heppy birthday, couzie Sarah!
to those who went to Nina's wedding a few years ago, she's the one at the buffet table giving out the rice - and the one Azraai thought that had looked like me.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

'Cause sharing is caring.

Been sleeping for the most of the day so there's nothing much to blog about really.
So here are the two songs that I've been listening to lately. (they're just clips, though.) A bummer since a minute and 40 is definitely unsatisfying!
I think Santana really knows how to collaborate with people. I honestly haven't heard a "bad" song by him.

JC Chasez - I'm Not Sleeping Alone (download!)
Santana feat. JC Chasez - If I Don't (download!)

I thought I've talked about this song before, but apparently I haven't!! (Can't believe that I haven't talked about it!!)
Dida told me to listen to this when I was back in Rotterdam with her and I totally fell in love with song. It's.. country, o'course. But a rock-ish country at that!
(Dida.. she's great at keeping a look out for great slow songs!)

Since I'm a lyric person, I'm going to post the lyrics here - just like what I'd usually do. I'll put the link to download the song from SendSpace at the end of the lyrics.
Ohh, and if you've already heard this song, good for you!!

What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do


1. new guitar strings
2. an mp3 player
3. go back to Europe
4. the "gift" to commit to something. specifically, being able to commit to one storyline that I'm working on instead of trying to work around three!

Planning on 5, but I only have 4 at the moment. Guess life isn't so bad after all since I can only find four things that I want! *grins*

Podcast #4

download it! (the link will take you to a different site.)
You can also go here instead.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

You'll see.

Today's line-that-won't-get-out-of-my-head;
I'm swimming in my abyss of insecure blue
A line from JC Chasez' song Lose Myself.

Anyway, today has been a pretty "okay" day.
Actually it's been slow. Been sleeping most of the time 'cause of the hot weather. (I'm hybernating at the wrong season.) I usually hate slow days, but today turns out pretty fine!
And why, you ask?
Because I found this website which shares some really rare *NSYNC songs!! *manic laugh* (Sorry, I promise I'll get over this whole *NSYNC madness soon.) There's this song I'm really loving called If I'm Not The One but somehow my Winamp won't play it and I have no idea why. So I have Winamp and WMP on the desktop.

woops. Now I'm ticked about something, so before I start cursing like shit.. better go now. Ohh, I worked on this last night;

Things I'm (still) looking forward to:
1. Artemis Fowl : The Lost Colony by Eoin Colfer due in September!
2. The Solomon Key, no earlier than 2007. (I talk about books a lot, don't I? Man, I need a new book to read!)
3. JC's next album due in August/September (Fall). There's this song I'm already crazy about, I'm Not Sleeping Alone which sounds.. like so JC and just the reason why I adore him! (btw, if anyone has that song in full, please please let me know! Been looking all over for it!)
4. Pirates of the Caribbean 3, rumoured to be released on May (25th!) 2007! We'll see if this date is actually right! Honestly, I'm not really desperately looking forward to this but I'm curious.

Now. Peace -not!!
More like piss-ed.


You are like so-- *shriek!*

I'm staring.
I have to stop staring.

*shriek even more*
Ohh, I so want you.

Monday, July 17, 2006


I found that *NSYNC song!
I found that *NSYNC song!!
*doing a one man conga*

-- And I think I found my "thing".

Coffees in the afternoon, no sleep in the night.
Awesome! (I'm being sarcastic.)

I was writing, but at the cost of not getting any sleep when everyone else was. Probably that's a great solution since I can't really sleep in the pitch of blackness but I can't really spend the rest of the day sleeping now, can I?
Might as well I was born as a bat!
(For the record, I got to sleep around 9 this morning and woke up a little over 3pm)

Man, I'm so happy about finally finding that song!! I was getting angry last night, even the video was downloaded in less than 30minutes! -which I appreciate! So funny watching those guys.. Chris talking to his slippers.
I really need to get my guitar strings changed! It just occured to me that I used to imagine myself playing this song. heh!

Okay!! Going to listen to this song repetively!
woo~hoo!! Friggin' happy! God loves me! *grins*

Alaa.. Wanie lupe..

Forgetfulness is NOT adorable.
Sori Pa..
I feel so awful, I will listen to you for the entire tomorrow, promise! (hehe. Tomorrow je..)

Had a.. "jumble of things" sort of day. It was mostly frustrating and depressing.
Pretty glad that I only had Muz as a company, (Pakcik Cine was earlier invited but for what ever reason, he bailed out!) since I was cranky the whole time.
Terrible mood swings, even worse than Muz'! (heh!)

Started off with a late start in the morning that led to a situation that sounds a lot more interesting if I claim as a "wardrobe malfunction" even though it was nowhere close to that whole Janet-thing. Got to Midvalley around 2pm which should obviously mean = A WHOLE LOAD OF PEOPLE IN LINE!
Need I say that I completely forgot to book the movie tickets on early Friday? Total nightmare!! I had forgotten what it feels like to be in a line THAT long! jeez!

After we got our tix, we decided to hang out at Coffee Bean - instead of getting lunch which ought to be the smarter choice. We stayed there for about three and a half hours (crazy, yeah?) doing almost nothing. It started as a nice sit&chat session but I grew miserable as I failed to write anything inside my notebook. (It was one of those times when there were too many noise and distractions that even the voice in your head refused to add to the sounds!)
Then there was this boy. God! That boy!! Now the story that I'm working on has a villain! (Refer to Muz if you need an explanation. If you don't know her, too bad 'cause I'm not telling!)

Note to self: Apparently I can't work as Rowling does; write in cafes. *sigh* NEED - TO - FIND - "THING"!

After a quick look at MPH, we went to the cinema and watched Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest (Lanun-lanun Pulau Caribbean : Peti Lelaki Mati that's it, I think! Priceless.) Okay.. to those who haven't seen this film, possible spoilers ahead! I'm going to be honest, that's for certain.

The film was funny.. haha-funny and not weird-funny. At least that's what I think it had been since the minute I stepped out of the cinema, I completely forgot what the whole thing was about.
Sorry to say, but Pirates was FORGETTABLE. Such a shame since Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom was pretty awesome in it! (I have to try to remember it instead of the memories naturally come to me.)
Funny moments; I absolutely adore that part with the swinging cage! The soundtrack was hilarious!! Love that. And the whole sword fighting scene at the island. Neat. Other than that.. disappointingly forgettable!

The ending was heartbreaking. Well, I find it heartbreaking.
No, the real ending was amusing - if you're willing to stay long enough until the last credits rolled out of the screen! But the "main" ending was heartbreaking. I am worried. Honestly I don't think it's what most people would feel care about, but as always, I'm keen on "other stuff" rather than the obvious things, so I was; heartbroken! (Got to stop using that word!)
Question: This isn't actually a spoiler, is it? Well, the warning was only for safety measures.

So! Reasons to see this film, it's the sequel to the first one! Everybody loves to catch a sequel even though half of them ends in a disappointment. It's a fact! --And everyone was great, really. Just blame the characters when they're being idiotic.
Ohh, Kiera Knighley was fine even though she didn't get much screen time. But I have a completely different opinion on Elizabeth Swann. Darn that compass! (Don't mind me on this one.)

It was nine something by the time we got out of the cinema and now I'm completely knackered to add anything else.
Found out something new about myself! I don't write well when I'm depressed! All I can think of is how I feel and that doesn't help at all.
Ooh~ Schumy won the French race. woo~! (in no state for the -hoos!) Ohh, and I think it's really cool that he was at the Germany's final game at the WK for the third placing. Cool man indeed.

That's about it!

Sunday, July 16, 2006


I discover two things about myself today!
Well.. actually it's just one thing, and another one was discovered yesterday afternoon!

1. I should never listen to Tearin' Up My Heart when I'm not doing anything else or I'd listen to every word they sing and interpret them so delicately and somehow find something from my past to tie them together. (Am I making sense? I hope I am!) Well, *NSYNC was NOT singing about my life and they have never been! Period.

This I Promise You? That song was a nightmare! Scary scary stuff - don't want to get into that! Now, I Drive Myself Crazy was something. Okay, maybe *NSYNC didn't sing something about me, but if I ever do stupid things like throw love away, this shall be my song. Although, I was trying to find the version with JC sings the first verse but I couldn't find it anywhere! Bummer.
Good thing I still have their The Winter Album! *lol* Maybe I should try find the CD. You know how casettes sounds like after a couple of years! Man, and I so love JC's version better than Chris'.. the guitar sounds better even with that small clink, which gets me to smile sometimes.

2. I should carry a notebook and a pen everytime I go to shower. Seems like it's the only time when that writer's block of mine is lifted! My mind works fine as I brushed my teeth yesterday! Now I'm anxious what my head will get around to when I go to shower this morning!

Okay. Don't feel like anything else. I'm on a quest to find that *NSYNC song I talked about. I'm so desperate for it that I've been listening to the 30 seconds sample I found over and over. So far, all I'm getting is frustration.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

What's silly?

Other than the obvious explanation, I say almost crying listening to Tearin' Up My Heart by *NSYNC is pretty much on top of that list.

Seriously, I had tears in my eyes last night, listening to that song! Talk about wacko.
Been thinking about those guys these past couple of days. Thinking how crazy I was about them.. still is, sometimes. So I've been downloading some of my favourite songs from their first album to their last, thinking.. why laa they had to go their own way. *sigh*
Funnily, Chris' voice was used for one of the characters in Fairly Odd Parents! Joey had gotten married. Lance.. uhh.. I don't know much about him. Then there's Justin who's pretty successful, aaannnd we come to JC.

My darling darling JC. I used to dream about him when I was "younger". Don't know what has happened to him. I used to adore him! Then he comes up with a song like All Day Long I Dream About Sex! Honestly!! That's just plain idiotic, and yet I still remember his birthday every year! *manic.. manic laugh!*
Anyways, let's forget how silly I can get sometimes, yeah? Here are some files I've uploaded on FileFactory;
1. An accapella mix as a tribute to the Bee Gees! I think they sound brilliant in this one!!
2. My super favourite song by *NSYNC called Tell Me, Tell Me Baby.

Okay. As much as I love talking about how crazy I can get over JC and *NSYNC, let's move to another subject, yeah?

I just noticed something actually. The weird friends I keep.
One, is a person whom I can talk about everything with. And I do mean EVERYTHING. I really haven't found a subject that we can't talk about. But oddly, we have never talked about one thing. Just one, and it's weird since it's usually what normal friends would talk about but we never did! I mean, I don't think that we'd have any problem to talk about it, but we just never mentioned it! Kinda weird.

Two, and I mean I know two people who are in a relationship but doesn't like to admit that they are. Well, maybe not "doesn't like", but unlike most people who openly claims to the world that they are in love, these two sort of kept it quiet. I think it's weird. Well, for one, it isn't so weird since I know that this person is very private with that sort of thing but the other.. I know for a fact that this person is capable of "showing" love. Maybe this person doesn't want me to see it?
Impossible.. (I hope!)
ahhahahaha!! Sape nak perasan as these three people, suka ati korang la yeee..

Moving on again, I was just listening to one of Peyton's Podcast, and #12 was hilarious!! Well.. okay. It's only hilarious if you've seen the third season of One Tree Hill, sorry! But I think it's hilarious!

Every single time this song is played on my player, (Build Me Up, Buttercup by Busted and McFLY) I'd have to repeat it a couple of times before moving on to the rest of the playlist. It has something to do with that Malay term jual mahal, well, not exactly that term.. but it's Danny's voice. Danny's voice was only on for a few seconds and no matter how many times I play this song, I still can't get enough of his raspy voice! And everytime I sing along to it, I just had to make my voice as raspy as his! *manic laugh*

*sigh* If only Danny would be beside the phone waiting for me. That shall be my perfect world. My dear dear Danny. Seriously, why is it so impossible to find someone like him in real life?? Funny, laughs himself silly, plays guitar, sings great, fabulous hair. Need I mention he's British? Is that too much to ask? IS IT??!

*crazy crazy laugh again!* This is waayy bad!
I should never write about JC and Danny in the same post ever again! I feel guilty. I feel like I'm cheating on one of them!!

Silly. That's today's word.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Very mean entry ahead,

I don't enjoy gatherings

School gatherings especially.
Between the "what are you doing these days?" and "who have you been talking to lately?".. I just hate it actually.
But I find it rather amusing that life had threw me into a bunch of people who loves it.

I can no longer count the times I've been invited to one of those gatherings and find a lame excuse to skip it, yet again! What even amuses me, is how they keep inviting me to those things! Really. Of course, I appreciate their thoughts for remembering me, but I really do hate gatherings.

It's not that I have a rough time in high school, heck, I had a blast!! They were the craziest years I've lived through and now when I think about it, it had felt like one humongous fest! Seriously, I love high school.

But I think I made it pretty clear that I only keep in touch with those who I want to keep in touch with and the rest of the school were.. acquaintances. Pardon me for sounding somehwat pompuous but it gets really old when someone asks me, "so do you talk to anyone from school?"
Answer: Yes; Muz, Hanis and Dayat. Occasionally Azraai and Arep.
Quit bugging me already!!

I think it's amazing that Azraai and Hanis knows a lot more about those school peeps or when the next gathering is going to be at, more than I do when they're studying overseas, but that is just me! All I need to know is that my four awesome friends are doing fine in their schools, doing what ever they're doing there and that's it!! I really don't give a rat's ass about the other 200 people in our batch! (give or take!)

So.. invite me to one of those school gatherings if you dare. Be prepared for one of my lame excuses. And please consider that I shall hate your guts if you have the nerve of asking me about my classmates or those whom I shared the school bus with. Take my word that you just might never see me "online" again. (Or maybe I'll dedicate another entry such as this directly to you!)

Mr Boy

Okay. Maybe I'm partly desperate or horny but I was listening to this song.. a very silly song which I'd rather not disclose in the web; and this guy.. A boy, in fact! His voice just.. gets to me!

He's not exactly a great sort of a singer. He's just one of those people who can sing, but really.. His voice!
God, can I marry this voice??
I'd die happy to have this voice as the last thing I hear.

Here I am. Listening to the same song over and over again.. thinking.. IMAGINING myself standing in front of this fella where he stood singing on a quiet stage playing a guitar as he sang.
And for what ever reason.. it had felt SO real!

I admit that I've always had a vivid imagination, but this is.. unexplainably.. freaky. It's like one of those rare moments when your heart just jumps out and gave itself to someone and you're left there at the same spot wondering what had just happened.
haha!! Okay, I'm pretty sure that not a lot of you have had that feeling. It's way too freaky to happen regularly or just to anyone, I think.

You know what I think this means?
I think it means that I should stop imagining a boyfriend or dreaming one and actually look for one, that's what I think! *crazy laugh* And a job. I need to find a job.

Ooh, did I really say I was horny? Ohh, I did. Let's scratch that image from our heads, alright? I don't think I'd look good with horns. *grins*

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Very productive day!

Well, I'm not exactly making any money, but I seemingly have some plans worked out for the short future. (eh?)
Ooh, by the way, pardon me for the multiple entries on today alone.

Me and my dad went brisk walking a while ago. It felt good. Of course, by the nearing end of our walk I was walking funny 'cause I haven't had an exercise for so long!
When we got back to section 6, we stopped by at 7-11 and I got myself a Slurpee!! What a treat! Just imagine spending the last 40 minutes brisk walking around main-Shah Alam and ending it with a good 'ole Slurpee.

So anyways, Azraai told me something the other day and well.. I decided that I should just do it! I must admit that I am going to hate myself for actually doing it (for copyrights matters) since I take my real writing seriously. Very seriously while this blog is like a child's play to me. But really, I guess I'm going to need the suggestions and the criticism, SO! I'm going to put up my half of work of Emily on this World Wide Web and see if it's any good, yeah? By the way, Muz.. you should have read those.

Bah! I hate it when other people is right and I'm obligated to listen to them!

I can't do it!!!
Lord of the Flies, I can't do it!! Sorry, I can't put up Emily on the web. I can let people read it off my notes, but putting it on the web will be too much!
I'll find something short in my head to put up. Just.. not the works I hold close to my heart. Emily is a no - no!
I'd kill myself if someone else finds a way to publish it with their name.
Not a really productive day, then!

Strangers, Relatives and The Photographer.

I was listening to Strays Don't Sleep, carried away by their song For Blue Skies when my father shouted at me. Alarmed, he had a small smile on his face and I realized that he had to shout to get my attention.
He then said, "would you like to be the photographer on Cik Mi's engangement and wedding day?"
It sounded great, so I said "okay".

But now that I've had a couple of minutes thinking about it, I'm having doubts. I mean, yikes! "The Photographer". Do you know what a huge responsability that is?? Double yikes!! So I'm proud of the photos I took in Europe, but to be The Photographer on a wedding day????
Can I say no to my dad, now?

I know I said I love hanging around strangers, but distant relatives.. I know they might as well be a stranger since you don't know them all that well, but you're supposed to know them, don't you?? How awkward that's going to be! You see, that's why I don't like family-bonding moments. They always give me headaches.
Although I must say, Nina's wedding surprisingly didn't give me any headaches. Maybe it was the great foods and I had my friends there. So cool of them to show up! (Mind, I don't even talk to half of them these days.)

Back to this photography thing. It probably won't work out great since I take a lot of time for a single shot. I hate simply pointing at one spot and click! I leave that point-and-click for my lomo! Unserious stuff. Fun stuff. Expensive-fun stuff.

Then again, if I am going to have the camera as my company that day, I wouldn't have to socialize much! *manic laugh* And I wouldn't have to help around in the kitchen which I had always hated 'cause that's where all the aunties go crazy and orders me around and I feel like an obligated slave. (Okay, slave is a horrible choice for word. Labour then.) I'd usually feel like an obligated labour; which is terrible since I love being the lazy-arse of the family.

But of course, if I'm going to be the photographer, I'm going to be the last one to eat since I'm going to have to take pictures of other people eating!! *manic laugh again* Okay, that's awful.
(As you can see, I'm practically doing my pros and cons right here!)

That's it! I made my mind. I'm not going to say no to my dad!
I'd rather starve than being told where I should put the rendang!
(funnily, that's my view on how to live my life as well.)

When will they learn??

Beautiful people shouldn't die!! They should live forever! Man, those directors!

Even though I've seen King Arthur in the cinema before, I still think it's sad when Lancelot died. Really! Why did he have to die?? It's not necessary! Beautiful people shall live!! And even if they are to die, those directors should make it swift and quick! Just why, oh why do they have to romanticize it??

As the way Lancelot died in the film, they just had to have Guinevere and Arthur run to his corpse and mourn, don't they? Have Arthur go, "why God, not this blablaa.." (wasn't too keen on his lines.)

By the way.. that's my favourite word these days, romanticize.

For instance, on the final World Cup match; as I saw Zidane's retreating back as he was sent off.. with the shot of the World Cup he had walked past. It was.. poetry!
Well, that one shot speaks to me as if it was a story. A really heart-breaking story.
Bah. This World Cup story is getting a little old.

I should really stop writing entries like this and start working on some serious stuff. Ohh by they way, something's wrong with the shoutbox, so if you don't see your messages up there, well.. I don't know where it has gone to!
The last things I get was Arep's message about I should go to One in a Million - and I replied that I don't even watch the show! - then he thought, I thought he was the annoying one from my 2nd podcast - which I said it wasn't him!! - then Dar said people seem to think that they were the one who annoyed me but he knew who it really was and luckily the person had apologized - which then I said "yeah".
Hahha! Okay. That should make up for those lost messages.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Slow day.

Mind, I don't think I've ever actually had a fast day.
But, the day has been slow.. Nothing much exciting. I'm not as keen to the telly as I always would since we didn't get the Astro Guide this month! Something about paying the bills late. I'm usually glued to the telly when I know what's on it! But not knowing? bah! Ohh, and it doesn't help that the remote's batteries are dying!
haha! How did we get so dependent on remote controls? Horrible!

So! On slow days like this, I'd usually make a camp at IMDB or (some other places to camp in; Wikipedia and! - I'm a geek, 'nuff said.)

I was in when I stumbled upon the page on Smallville!
Boy I'm glad that I'm not a big fan. Lexana??? Seriously?? I couldn't stop laughing at this. I am curious though at how it came together. I think I kinda sensed that but boy! Obviously the writers haven't got any brilliant ideas to put out there.
So we'll wait for TV3 to air the latest season. (By the way, last thing I saw was Recruit, so what happened after that? Was I then gone to see the rest of the season or it had really just stopped?)

Okay. Nothing else. Feeling hungry and I'm having a taste for PB&J or Oreos with peanut butter. *sigh* Gotta wait for my dad to return from where ever he's gone to.

After a couple of days of speculations and reports on Zidane's actions at the final match to Materazzi, I am convinced that Materazzi deserved it!! The pig. I really don't blame Zidane. Sure, I still can't forget his retreating back when he was sent off, but Materazzi was a pig!
And you Azzurri fans out there, feel free to send me hate mails. See if I'll take my words back!

Podcast #3

download it! (the link will take you to a different site.)
You can also go here instead.

ahhahahhahahahahahhaha!!! I am so cheery tonight, it's weird!!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Podcast #2

download it! (this link will take you to a different site)
You can also go here instead.

Monday, July 10, 2006


humm.. okay.
Congratulations to the Azzurri and their fans.. for picking the right team!
No offence to either of them but I don't feel anything for the Italians, so.. sorry!

My mind is more to Les Blues.
*sigh* It was heartbreaking to see Zidane exit like that. It was.. a shame! I didn't think it was shameful.. It was a shame. *sigh* I could cry. Nobody should end their career that way, especially not Zidane!! I was shocked! Really shocked!
Makes you wonder what that Materazzi fella said to Zidane and made him blew like that! It was very much unlike him! It was.. Rooney-esque!! Or maybe Figo!! Definitely NOT Zidane!
I was.. devastated, actually!

After he was sent off, I have to admit, the game didn't matter much to me anymore. Having to depend on Barthez on the shoot-out?? - I don't think so! Plus, the fact that Buffon is the number one goal keeper in the world and the highest paid at that! *sigh* Clearly, a losing battle.
Then there was Trezeguet, whom had kicked the ball in a funny way.
Honestly! Honestly!

Well, I'm not as angry as I could've been if it had been England playing tonight. Since France is only "that other team" I was rooting for, I am oddly still capable of rationalizing the whole game - which is good or I would've cursed a whole lot instead of a calm-like entry as this.
My dad was convinced that if it had been England playing tonight, and lost to a penalty shoot-out, I would've really cried. hahhaha!! He's right, o'course! I would have cried out of frustration. And fatigue.

Humm.. still upset over Zidane's exit. Just.. awful!! An awful awful way for a great player to end his career. Awful!!

Anyways, Muz reckons I was pulling her leg when I told her the reason why I was so keen on Zidane. Okay, I'm not too sure if anyone remembers my entry on "patterns" some time ago. It was about the theory Carrie Bradshaw had said on Sex and the City; that everyone has a pattern, that they always pick something similar to what they have picked before. Well, something like that! I'm trying to simplify it into this paragraph. *grins* So here's my pattern;
Zinedine Zidane JC Chasez

ahhahaha!! Sorry.. Not too sure if you could see the pattern here, but I swear I tried my best, looking for the pictures that would show you their similarities but turns out, Zidane doesn't smile just as much as JC doesn't frown! *giggle* I still can't help myself grinning everytime I see a photo of JC.

Okay. Enough giggling like a school girl.
By the way, I broke my guitar string earlier today! Such a bummer. Now I can't play any of my favourite songs (or at least, the ones I can actually play!) since they all require me to play a D note or a D minor.. and I broke my sixth string!! urrghh!
Ohh, Yahoo! has updated the main page.. "--French star Zinedine Zidane ends his career by losing his cool." *grunts and sighs* I hope he'll have a great life now that he won't be playing anymore.. Just as he was great on the field. *sigh* Why Zidane, whyyy??? (apparently, I'm in denial.)

Sunday, July 09, 2006


Go Deutchland!!
Portugal really got their ass kicked last night - and that was AWESOME!! They should've seen it coming. ahahhahahahhaha!!!
I was so happy! I am so happy!!

Nothing much to update, really. Just wanted to write an entry that isn't so morose before the week ends.

By the way, I've got Peyton's podcast link at the side there if you haven't noticed! I think her first podcast sounded oddly like something I would say! hahha!!


I like having friends.
But I kinda like strangers even more. Is it wrong?
I suppose I'm going to say that it's about that commitment thing, but it's more than that.

So here.. I might be losing some acquaintances with this entry.. but let's just see if I care, yeah?
I see a friend as a person who knows you. Doesn't really have to know know you deeply.. but just.. knows you. At least. While acquaintances are the rest of them.
I know it sounds horrible but I just can't keep a lot of friends. I can't care for a lot of people. I can't give that many people my attention. I know that I tend to not appreciate what I have so I see it's best that I don't have too many friends so I can be a good friend. A good person to some at least. It's my saving grace.

Strangers on the other hand, are just fab. For one magical moment you can share your thoughts with a random person, who could tell you so many new things that you've never knew before.
And when that moment had passed, you are never obligated to call them back. I guess it kinda sounds like a one night stand, but I suppose.. it is very much like a one night stand. ahhahahahahha!!! Okay, let's ignore what I'm kinda implying here and focus! Strangers are great.. but the thing about strangers.. they're only a stranger the first time 'round. The next time you see them, they've become an acquaintance. A shame, really.

I am missing that. Talking to strangers. I like getting on a train from Central to Shah Alam and have an elderly man talk to me about the way I write, or someone's father talk to me about how proud he was of his children while I was at work. Those different people at the travelling agencies in Rotterdam, even though they were only talking to me because it was their job. The friendly fish monger at the market place or the nice man at the kebab store in Paris. *smiling fondly*

Pardon the reminiscing. I think I've figured out something about myself just now! This entry kinda sounds somber but I had a nice evening actually.
Big thanks to my friends who had knew me well enough to say all the right things tonight and.. flattered me in so many ways. This song is totally dedicated to you guys.. I hope you know who you are. To a certain acquaintance, I'm sorry that I blew you off.

Can't wait 'til kick-off!!
It better start soon or I'll write something else more somber, yikes!

Saturday, July 08, 2006


download it. (this link will take you to a different site)
You can also go here instead.

p.s: my English sounds sooo much better in my head before I started talking!


It isn't taboo to me so if you think it is.. find another blog to read!

I finally figured out the effects of it on me. You know how sometimes you heard about people getting fiesty and easily ticked.. and just very very emotional during "that time of the month"?
PMS makes me angry; a simple question of "what do you want to eat?" could make me snarl - the nerve of anyone messing with my business.
- And I don't do apology when I'm snarky.

Having the period itself, makes me depressed though. It just occured to me that every single month, I would find myself rather attached to the floor. I can feel as low as being six foot deep under the ground.
- And tonight is no exception.

It depresses me that I have no interest in food and my entire body doesn't seem to want to listen to what ever I'm telling it to do. It depresses me that I can't sleep sound at night 'cause I'm afraid of the dark and that the only time I feel calm about sleeping was when it accidentally happens as everyone else was still awake. It also depresses me that I give too much crap about something I said in my dream a few days ago - which I think is the most ridiculous part of it all 'cause it a friggin' dream!! Yet, I wonder.. Is my brain trying to tell me something?? It also didn't help that I've seen -and read, the entire episodes of One Tree Hill season three.
Ohh, and don't get me started on this constant limbo I'm in.. it doesn't even seem to want to end.

I'm just..
I'm just tired. Between the back pain and the depression.. I'm simply, just tired. It's just one of those days when you can't see the reason to hope anymore. Just.. "why bother?" - Which is right. Why bother?
Don't get me wrong, I know I sound suicidal and everything but I do enjoy life. Love life..

Now don't start messaging me, or mailing me or even leave a comment about how I'll get better or cheer up or how the sun will shine tomorrow, I don't need that.
Just.. let me be depressed. For one night. Let me be depressed and hopeless for this one night and have no one judge me for it and hold it against me.

I am me and me is just.. tired.

Friday, July 07, 2006


You know that you're an awful friend when a harmless chat turns into this;

dude: ..Maybe if you could help.. anyone with it, tell me yeah?
me: heehee. Unfortunately I don't know anyone who collects it.
dude: Mmm.. really? Don't you have a lot of friends?
me: Yeah, but I don't really contact my friends. I... don't do that. *smiley*
dude: Hehe.. hmm.. I know..

---And it wasn't the first time you had this conversation.

Thursday, July 06, 2006


Went out this morning with the thought of catching a movie and stopping by at Kino and meet up some people and having a completely great time by myself but somehow it completely changed!! - Equally pleasant.

So my first stop was MidValley. I thought it was unlucky to have missed the first show of Just My Luck. So I just got to the line.. feeling a bit uncomfortable to have been surrounded by a lot of boys. To keep myself occupied, I called in Muz; who was surprisingly just got up and was on her way to the showers.
So I pushed my luck, and asked her if she'd like to join me! After a quick call to her laki she said yes! ahhahahhaha!!

So (pardon the too many 'so-s') I sat around at Coffee Bean, getting my sissy-caffeine-kick before I head to Kino and only finding Kak Wati, Yana and the now pregnant Pei Sun! I know that Angel had quit but turns out, so had Lilian! I was disappointed by that news. And in case you're wondering - I actually hide from that Coffee Club guy!! ahahhahaha!! Typically me of course! I do that a lot the guys I'm done with. *sigh*

Later I met up with Muz - that was around 4pm, actually! - and we got our late lunch. After only 30minutes (we were trying to catch the time!) we head to MidValley (I got tickets for the 5 o'clock show!) and practically ran to GSC!! Surprisingly we had only missed 5 minutes' worth of advertisement! But we were wheezing afterwards. I talked like that Malcolm's wheel-chaired friend! hahhaha!!

Okay, Just My Luck was completely and utterly predictable!! ahhahaha!! But it was pleasant. Well.. yeah, pleasant's the word. I think McFly was awesome in it!! Me and Muz literally cooed everytime Danny or Dougie was on the screen! ahhahahaha!! Honestly, we were pathetic!
I'd say you don't really have to see this film, but GO SEE IT and support McFly!! *manic laugh* I just couldn't help singing along to every song they played in the film, it's horrible - I've become that annoying lady in the cinema!!

It was 7pm when we got out of the cinema (waited until the whole credits rolled off the screen.. enjoying the songs! We were the only two left!) Went around to do a bit of shopping and head for home.
I finally gave Muz the "travel pack" I made her! *grins*

Now.. last night's football!
I was exceptionally pleased with the crowd's respond everytime Christiano Ronaldo touches the ball! *manic.. manic laugh* Getting the entire crowd to boo at him.. priceless! It was FAB!!! I don't exactly take any heart about the whole Rooney-incident thing, but I'm plainly loving the fact that the Portugese was booed! (sorry for sounding a bit racists! - which I'm not really.. I just get that way about football.)

I love Zidane! I honestly love him! He's the only non-English player that I really admire, actually. And it's not just because he'd scored that goal.. I've always cared about his game. (I swear! You could ask my really good friends!)
Vous jouez très bien au football, Zidane!!
(I just copied that from my phrase book, so I can't guarantee that I'm writing the right French!)

Barthez.. *smirks* Barthez' techniques was impressive. The one that he saved on the 78th minute; I call it the "opocot technique". HONESTLY!!! What was he thinking?? That was the silliest, the most lame so-called save I've ever seen!! It had seemed as if he was SURPRISED by the ball and decided to freak out! "Opocot mak kau!!"
(Mind, I've never liked Barthez since his days in Man U - the twit!)

Looking forward to the finals! Italy v. France.. should be great!! And I SO want Germany to win over Portugal!! ahhahahahhahah!! I'm bitter, I know.

This entry kinda sucks.. If you don't think so, I do and nothing else matters much other than ME. I don't like writing/typing out things in a constricted time space and that's what I am!
Better go now since my dad needs the computer more than me. Dida mengade mintak Papa tolong tuliskan surat. Tak maluuu!! Dah besa panjang-lebar suruh Papa tuliskan surat. boo! *giggle*

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Song for the day.


Currently taking an interest in podcast. What d'you think?
Might seriously consider this if I can work it around my current layout - and if I find my voice remotely interesting to be casted online. hahh!!
Here's a good example on a podcast-ed site. I don't give a crap what they were saying, but man, I love the layout!


So I said I was going to get my sleep.
I lied. Sue me!

I find this song.. liberating. It's the way she sings it. Just.. liberating somehow.
Halo by Bethany Joy Lenz
[ embeded file removed. ]
or you can download it here.

I never promised you a ray of light
I never promised there’d be sunshine every day
I’ll give you everything I have
The good the bad

Why do you put me on a pedestal?
I’m so up high that I can’t see the ground below
So help me down you’ve got it wrong
I don’t belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn’t say so
You wouldn’t say so if you were me
And I, I just want to love you
Oh I, I just want to love you

I always said that I would make mistakes
I’m only human and that’s my saving grace
I’ll fall as hard as I try
So don’t be blinded
See me as I really am
I have flaws and sometimes I even sin
So pull me from that pedestal
I don’t belong there

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn’t say so
You wouldn’t say so if you were me
And I, I just want to love you
Oh I, I just want to love you

Like to think that you know me
But in your eyes
I am something above me
That's only in your mind
Only in your mind

One thing is clear
I wear a halo
I wear a halo when you look at me
But standing from here
You wouldn’t say so
You wouldn’t say so if you were me
And I, I just want to love you
Oh I, I just want to love you

(I just wanna love you)
Heya Hey Hey Hey… Halo


That was funny.

Germany's match with Italia was funny!
It's sad, really. Well, not sad. It was pathetic. ahhahha!! Obviously.. obviously thou shall not root for a team just because you like their good lookin' coach!

Good thing I only have one team to support or I'd be crushed!
Didn't happen! ahahhahaha!! Now I'm just laughing my ass off.

But I do feel bad for Lehmann. He'd been pretty good along the matches. Just to show that good great teams has the best defence line! That's why Germany lost tonight. Although, I think it would've been romantic if Italia hadn't scored that second goal.
I mean, with one goal.. you'd talk on for days about "The Winning Goal". Now, two goals.. you'll just talk on for days about how silly the Germans had played this one!

Okay. Need to go to sleep. My body-clock has finally settled to this time zone - even with the World Cup. I kept falling off to sleep just now, which isn't entirely my fault since the game was horribly uneventful until the extra time!

I have to say though, this World Cup has been.. mostly uneventful. I lost count at how many penalty shoot-outs there had been up to this point. The thought of achieving a result by penalties is just.. putting me off!
Let's hope that tomorrow's match between bangang-Portugal and France won't result to a penalty shoot-out.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

*giggle giggle*

I know..
a few days ago, it had seemed impossible to imagine that I would start giggling again anytime soon.
(yes, England's friggin' lost to Portugal had meant that much to me. hahha!)

Looking forward to tonight's game between Germany and Italia! I have no preferences but I'm thinking that Germany has been strong since the start of the finals. Plus, I like their youthful coach! (see, when in doubt, just stick to the physical attraction!)

Well, to be honest I just felt the need to blog something out after seeing that Celcom ad on telly!! *giggle* It was two days ago, I think when I first saw those footballers ad - the one of two guys along with Owen and GERRARD!! ahhahahha!! (I feel bad for not getting a good look at the other two.) Pirez? Was there Pirez in it?? Well, can't be sure, I was just too excited after seeing Owen and Gerrard in it! *giggles*
So anyways, then just now there was another Celcom ad with Stevie Gerrard talking about Celcom! AHHAHAHHAHAHA!! Well, he did sound like a zombie but boy, I've never been SO proud to have been a Celcom user before!!!

Anyway, here's a link to Celcom Football Mad Nation where you can find some really neat promo vids for the World Cup! There's also a video clip of that Celcom song.. the one that keeps on going "Oooo~" heehee!

Have a good evening, everyone!


a. Out of the ordinary; unusual or striking.
b. Differing from the normal.

Here's something.
This past couple of days.. I've been having these really.. reaaally strange dreams. It's not recurring, no. It doesn't wake me up in a sweat, no. But they're definitely definitely strange.

I was always in a different place, but there's always the same man. Well, a presence of a man to be honest. I can't really see his face but he's there, alright.
And last night, I had a conversation with this man and I said something.. my subconcious had told him something that was so... weird! Something that I've never really felt in real life and something that I'd definitely won't tell a guy!! It's just weird!!!!

Now I'm hating this guy even though he doesn't exist!
I think I'd prefer him not to exist or it'd creep me out even more!

[ Embeded file removed ]
One Flight Down by Norah Jones

One flight down
There's a song on low
And your mind just picked up on the sound
Now you know you're wrong
Because it drifts like smoke
And it's been there playing all along
Now you know
Now you know

The reeds and brass have been weaving
Leading into a single note

In this place
Where your arms unfold
Here at last you see your ancient face
Now you know
Now you know

The cadence rolls in broken
Plays it over and then goes

One flight down
There's a song on low
And it's been there playing all along
Now you know
Now you know

Sunday, July 02, 2006


Smalam dah kasi England kalah cukup laa!!
Hujan pulak!

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England lost.

Pretty expectable, but you know me.. Even though I had expected it, I still have that slight hope that they'd stop disappointing me (and other England fans, including those English people themselves!) and rise to the occasion.
Didn't happen, of course! I think English people are alike Malay people in so many ways! - but that's another topic, so let's leave it at that!

The game was excrutiatingly long, with stupid stupid chances that Lampard had LOST for his team - effing stupid English! - and early retirement by the capitan, Beckham. I was sure he had asked Sven to hold off the switch, but I don't think Sven had that mad drive to win - effing stupid Swedish! And Rooney!! Don't get me started on him!! Wasn't it enough to be caught throwing a tantrum on the camera some weeks ago? He just had to push off C. Ronaldo, hadn't he?? - effing stupid fat, childish English!! And Gerrard! God, Gerrard!! I don't usually have bad things to talk about him, but GOD!! I think he kept getting his effing stupid English feet to an angle that just couldn't help his team! Those long passes crosses!! Duude!! What happened to youuuu?? It was just infuriating!! Really really infuriating.
By the second half I just couldn't shout at the telly any longer 'cause my blood was bubbling too much. I was exceptionally quiet, I amazed myself!

To think that I had thought it was cute before the start of the game when the camera was showing Beckham and Figo talking and smiling, and so did Rooney and C. Ronaldo. Now I just want them to DIE!!!!
- the Portugese, of course!
(I've said it before, I'm a sucker for disappointers - hoping that they will change.. someday! Tunggu Wanie berjanggut maybe, so long as that day will arrive!)

So funny that Dida and Muz had tried to calm me down when I complaint to them after the match. I really should start listening to myself and not put too much hope on the English! (A lie!)
Now, I REALLY want those French to kick those Portugese ARSES!!!!!!!! The Portugese shall NOT even smell the cup!! *roars* <-- three lions' worth of a roar. *hint smile*

The French did an amazing upset! After the English match I had told Dida that I like Zidane and she said, "ohh, Wanie don't. You've had enough disappointment for the night, better not root for France!" ahhahahhaha!! I was asleep most of the match, but when I woke up, Henry scored that winning goal! hahhaha!! (and Zidane and Ronaldo was cute before the start of the game!)
The French had definitely woke up from their sleep!

Okay. I am feeling better since last night, but I won't get over England's lost! Not until Portugal gets knocked out of the match!! Those effing Portugese...
I'm just angry.. sad.. I knew that if England doesn't score in the game, they'd lose the penalty shoot-out. They'd never been good at that! They're HORRIBLE at it!! It's just sad.. with Lampard, and Gerrard. To think that Liverpool had won 9 out of 10 penalty shoot-outs! It's disappointing.. infuriating.. sad.

Fuck off!!

I am SO angry, my hands are shaking!
I am SO pissed, I can hear my blood rushing through my ears!!

Obviously, I'm not very favoured by God since my prayer wasn't heard.. *sigh*

Well, I'm a sore loser.

Saturday, July 01, 2006


I hate talking about serious stuff.
Don't you just hate talking about serious stuff?
Serious stuff makes me... serious! And I never liked being serious.
I'd rather be remembered as silly than serious. Please.
I hate serious stuff.

My life--

is governed by the World Cup!
..well, currently at least!

Germany was lucky! Darn lucky, I'd say. They played horribly, really! Those lame passes, laziness to run and get the ball.. It's a good thing I'm not a fan, or I'd start cursing like a hillbilly again! ahhahha! Well, from tonight's game I can't see why they should win the cup. It was plain horrible!! Argentina wasn't even that great, but Germany was lousy! Just lucky that they've got Lehmann. He's the better player on that field tonight.
I just find it disappointing that they had to have a penalty shootout to find a winner. Deutchland - 4, Argentina - 2

Against Germany next week is Italy - predictable, yes. It was another uneventful game. So they scored three goals against Ukraine, big deal! They should've been able to score more! I have to say, though.. The highlight of that game was definitely the time when the Italian captain got hit by the ball on his balls! ahhahaha! He was in pain at first, but a while after he's down, he was smiling. Such a good humoured fella! heehee. Italia - 3, Ukraine - 0

England, on tomorrow night! eeek!! I'm partly excited, partly scared. You know, it usually leads to one big mess when you openly root for one team. Suddenly you became an open target. heehee! O well, the price I shall pay for being an England supporter! Win-gerland!! (again, crossing my fingers, wishing on an eyelash - the works.)

Dida had successfully made me jealous by calling in just now only to tell me that McFly was on telly! Her telly!! *grunts*

Anyways, I haven't made any plans since I got back from Europe. Nina's kept telling me to find a job. hahha! It was for all the wrong reasons, eg. "find a job as a sales person! Then you could get discounts." and for another reason that I should not disclose here, but she's keen on me finding a job.
My mother, on the other hand wants me to go back to school. She kept asking me what course I'd like to take - and she keeps trying to plant some thoughts in my head about how there's a big demand on secretarial job! ahahhahaha!! Can you imagine me doing secretarial-stuff?

I can't seem to think about it seriously, though. The only reason I'd take a secretarial job would be for the experience of it, even then I can imagine myself being at it no longer than three months! I SO can't work under anyone. I'd like to be my own boss.. but doesn't everybody, eh? *sigh*
But I reckon that I should find something to do soon 'cause I'm getting too comfortable just lying around at home and not even taking a shower everyday!! ahhahaha!! (I'm conserving water!)

I was thinking of maybe getting into uITM.. Journalism.. creative writing or communication of some sort. It's cheap.. close by.. and probably something that I was really meant to do. Problem is, I think, the journalism course over there is in Malay, and the English course is only a couple of subjects in one of their semesters - which the thought of it just PAINS me since I'm terribly.. absolutely.. horrible in Malay!!! I could probably take TESL instead, but the mere thought of teaching just makes me wanna throw something! *grunts even more*
God, I miss school. I just hate thinking about getting into one and start to hate it all over again. baaahhh!!! Been trying to find a school with something that I really really want to learn but I can't seem to find any, around Malaysia. My dreams, crushed unceremoniously.

Just the reason why I hate thinking about school so much.