Tuesday, October 23, 2007

My darling delusions of grandeur.

In the ideal world, he'd be singing Lost as I sang Undiscovered. hehhe. But that's just in the ideal world. Ideality is just in our heads, unfortunately.

Have you ever felt like life is like chasing a closing elevator door? If you get in, things are great, but when you just missed it.. you could try pushing the button again but the door might not open. You've missed all your chances; the great things that could've happen while you were in the lift.. the people you could've met.. but all that was left to do was to wait for the elevator to run its course until it gets back to your floor again. So you wait.

I think I'm on the elevator, but the door is opening soon and I should get off so someone else could get to their floor. I feel like things are aligning this year; I get to travel around.. see my favourite football team.. catch a concert to the band I've always wanted to see.. won stuff unexpectedly.. Hardly any beef with anyone.. I don't get everything I want but I've got plenty!

I'm afraid to think that I'm attuned to the soul of the world, and the fact is just that I am one heck of a grateful person -- 'cause if I AM in harmony with the world.. I'm not ready to get off that elevator!! I still haven't done that ONE thing, so I need to be on that elevator still! God, please don't make me get off.

Maybe I could prolong my stay until I'm ready but nobody's that lucky, is there?
You know, for someone who is confident enough to do crazy things.. hardly concious of being stared at on the streets at all.. I talk A LOT about "luck".
I always have these mixed feelings. When I am doing well, with shoulders straight and my head up.. I'd say things like "confidence is ignorance" or that my confidence is actually me being an exhibitionist.
Seriously.. one of these days I need to give myself some credit! Even crazy people deserve a little credit when they're behaving, right?

Been listening to Apologize by OneRepublic recently. It's not a very good song to listen to on Raya. hahahhaha!
The thing about being too late for an apology though.. you know, you could apologize as sincerely as you possibly could and the other person could forgive you whole heartedly -- but the fact is, when it came too late.. the apology just didn't matter anymore. What was once important, no longer is. If what the two persons had was strong, they can pick up from where they had left it. But if it was shaky to begin with.. letting it go and moving on away from each other could be best.
There's a reason why wise men never mentioned about friends for-ever.


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