Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Some random thoughts perhaps..

You know.. I don't usually like myself (don't ask!) but if there's one thing in particular that I actually really like.. it'd be the fact that I can go out by myself doing nothing special, without feeling the least bit awkward.

I know, it's probably not a big thing.. but it is to me.. somehow. Kinda proud of it even! hahha! Guess there is a good thing that comes out from being a semi-reclusive. (hahh!)

So I've been thinking.. since this whole MHA thing started, all I ever do is sit in front of the laptop and talk to my fellow Illums.. chat about silly things with Eeva.. talk with Sher.. exchange taunts with TJ.. get teased by Mark, Jacob and Tony.. (o yeah, I am so name dropping here!) and get completely distracted by Will.. I mean, I talk to these people every single day and I haven't even met them!

Makes me think.. when was the last time I talk to the friends I've met. hahahha! God, I am SUCH a horrible friend. kan Azraai kan? heehee.

Then somehow those got me thinking about my year's resolution -- the one I haven't made yet. I always have it every year (and never achieving them) but hey, why mess with tradition, right?

So in 2008, I would like to:

1. be a better friend. hehe!
2. finish my freakin' manuscript!! grrr.
3. umm.. learn to be more focused and patient so I can actually achieve resolution #2! heehee.
4. scribble something on my Moleskine everyday.
5. get a JOB!! wahahahaha!!
6. learn to go to sleep early (or at least earlier!)
7. cut down coffee (and ciggies!) but really.. keep me happy and the ciggies can actually disappear. Amazing.

Oh, and I'm suddenly thinking about this poem by EE Cummings;

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)
I am never without it
(anywhere I go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)

baahhh, I'm mushy, it's pathetic :P


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