Thursday, July 31, 2008

Oh Ivan..

I've been rereading some of my old books these past few days. I must say that it never bothered me, to read my books again and again. (thus the reason why I never liked borrowing books.. I hate having to give them back and not being able to reread them again when I'd wanted to remember certain parts.)
So I've been reading If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern since Monday. I forgot to list down that it is one of my most favourite books.. ever. (along with Tuesdays With Morrie, Like The Flowing River, Pride & Prejudice..)

..for anyone who's ever had that connection with someone, even if it only lasted for five minutes, it's important. For once I didn't feel that I was living in a different world from everybody else, but that in fact there was a person, a person I liked and respected, who had a piece of my heart, who felt the same way.
Chapter 19, If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern.

I've been reading the book very.. carefully.
Because there is this part. A part that had made me cry once before. I'm torn about how I feel about that part. I'm sort of looking forward to it just to see if it still upsets me, but as I come closer.. I feel dread.
I'm very close to that part now.. Maybe I'll just hold my breath and dive in.

(I took the dive. I didn't cry.. but hyperventilated a bit. Well, an improvement at least.)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


[me] what should I write..
[him] blog?
[me] mm hmm
[him] write about you smashing your computer?

yah, so I'm using my old stupid computer (wooot!) and it blows.
but anyway.. I shouldn't complain much since at least.. it's usable. So.. I'm thankful. For now. I hope it'll live long..
One thing about my computer though.. as unreliable as it is.. it always keeps the relationship alive by surprising me constantly... you know.. Up and running one minute, hang and reboots itself the next.. dies one second, refuses getting reformatted even, then voila like magic it decides that it won't mind getting reformattted after all. ha ha haaa!

[commercial break..]
Hunny.. you suck! yayy!
You really suck, then.
Shut up.

Norah Jones - What Am I To You

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Stupid effing Y!M.

For what ever reason, it decided not to load at all ever since this morning.
It irks me.
Really.. stupid.. stupid.. effing Y!M.
and you know what annoys me the most?
In the midst of me cursing over the fact that I am incapable of figuring out what is wrong.. whether I could have prevented it or maybe I was the cause of it.. I remembered that one time Sylly told me that "effing is not bad.."
Now I'm thinking if I should find a new word for cursing. Way to unintentionally distract me from brooding.


Friday, July 25, 2008

"Mata kau sepet kat hujung"

Bahijah thinks I could pass it off as Chinese..
So did Dida, surprisingly. hahhaha! I mean, I'd understand HER being mistaken as Chinese.. she has small eyes. But she reckons I look like one because my eyes gets smaller narrower at the end. hahaha! It makes no sense at all.

I'm running a temperature.. and that was me pretending to be all cheery with my friends this afternoon. I should be resting now, but I refuse to!! rawrr!!
Oh, thanks for the souvenir Anaaaa!

Mat Kearney - Crashing Down

Thursday, July 24, 2008

You're the only one who knows

This is one looong week!!

[him] afk

You have no idea how badly those stupid letters annoy me these days. blah.
Or the words "bye" or "gone".. they'd never been nice to see but it truly irks me to the core now. "Gone" especially. It had always left me staring at the screen for a full minute.

Must be boring to be reading me blab about him all the time. I promise you, I'd much rather just blab TO him about nothing at all but I can't, so I'll have to make do with making myself sound ridiculously mental in my own blog.

The Fray - Look After You

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Edison Chen!

haha.. he got two seconds of screen time..

I finally saw The Dark Knight..
zomg! My mind is on overdrive. But I'm grateful that at least it's not because I was unnecessarily worrying about things. weee!
I must say that it was the BEST summer blockbuster I've ever seen. Really. It was.. poignant. Not at all what I was expecting from a "Batman" movie.
Heath Ledger was amazing as Joker. Completely diabolical! It was nothing like the Joker in the old version of Batman.. he really was.. incredible.
The subject on social and humanity that the film touched on was definitely my kind of thing. And the ending.. I thought the ending was poetic. hahha! I truly loved it.

And now that I'm home.. after the long drive home from the cinema.. I can feel those unwanted thoughts that has been occupying my mind for the past two days are creeping back in.. gah!
Hunny aimishuuuuuu!! life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars—points of light and reason… And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything.
Chapter 23, New Moon by Stephenie Meyer

Hence, I blame you for everything.. for shooting across my sky in the first place. rawrrr! Now I shall count the days 'til I will finally get to talk to you again.
You really shouldn't have spoiled me so much.

Oh shoot.. how did I manage to forget about this earlier..
edited on 1:26 AM, July 23rd, 2008.
Me and Dida went to San Fran for dinner last night. The manager guy saw us outside through the windows and actually jogged to open the door for us! And as he led us automatically towards the smoking area, he said; "haven't seen you in a while.. thought you've gone somewhere." HAHAHAHAHA!!! And instead of asking what we'd wanted for drinks, he said "Shirley Temple?" BWAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!
I've gone there for too many times, haven't I?

We'd actually wanted to go to Chilli's at first (I'm missing Triple Play..) but it was packed, so we had to settle for San Fran. heh. I was trying to remember the last time we actually ate in Chilli's and it was way before we discovered San Fran! hahhaha! And the guy who waited on us was the bald guy who Dida claims to have a crush on me. bleh. I've got to stop her from saying that I'm an "old man attractor". gah!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Oh Edward..

I was re-reading New Moon today.
Even when I'd skipped 15 chapters, it was still quite depressing.
Can somebody please remind me next time that I shouldn't read books and/or listen to songs that are depressing when I'm actually depressed?

If I let myself hope, and it came to nothing… that would kill me.
Chapter 23, New Moon by Stephenie Meyer.

I just noticed how that simple line could possibly explain my entire psyche.

Okay, so I'm definitely feeling fine now. Slightly hazy, not quite normal yet.. but I'm getting there. What I am most certain of is that there will be no chance of me driving myself crazy with stupid thoughts that would end up making me cry involuntarily again tonight.
Of that, I'm really sure.

bah.. why does it take so long for me to feel normal again. It's annoying to constantly worry and think about things. Exhausting.
But maybe I should worry and think about things. Why do I get the nagging feeling that some things have changed?
Aaah dammit. It's starting again....

ughh.. and now I shall try to refrain myself from saying things that I would otherwise say to you personally for fear of making myself sound even more stupid than I already have.

In the mood for an awesome Korean composition, anyone?

K. Wil - Kum

I just looked up on the translation to this song and I must say that it made me love it even more.

I should stop now before I really start saying things that I can't take back.
Goodnight, world.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Fucking fine.

In the mood for sappy Indonesian song, anyone?

D'Masiv - Cinta Ini Membunuhku

Loving this song at the mo.

But I keep having a horrible image of two tortured soul at the opposite sides of a very busy highway. Both of them recognizing the loneliness in each other and more than willing to reach out to the other.. nothing would have stopped them except for the obvious fact that if they take a step forward, they will indubitably be roadkills. heh.
I know.. expect me to come up with such miserably morbid thoughts in my head.

Let's pretend that I'm fine..
gah. I have got to stop spamming my blogs! grr..

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Lelah hati

I don't know what to say..
Maybe there isn't anything to say..

Please please please God make me stronger.
Please please please..
I'd rather not run..
I don't want to crumble either..
But I am crumbling.. so pathetically.

My rebellion proved to be one stupid mistake.
In my desperation for company I'd talked to the one person I shouldn't be talking to. It was hardly amusing, not at all entertaining. The only best part about the conversation was his opinion on what I should avoid for the sake of my happiness -- and believing with all my heart that he was wrong. It was amusing, to have felt the way I'd felt.. To be sure of something that isn't exactly certain.

But what's the point really..
Now I'm not sure of anything at all, which is really.. stressing upon my point earlier that my rebellion is really one big fat mistake.
blah. And there isn't anyone else to blame but myself, which is making the feelings worse.

Although, I can say now that at least I'm no longer bored..
Two entries in one night! ha! I swear if I could've got on Lifelogger, I would've blogged in there as well. (and make it three entries! heh.)

Saturday, July 19, 2008



meh.. I have a bunch of reasons to love that thing these days. hahha!
I'm coughing a little now for laughing so much talking to Eeva just now.. (see, my internet-friends are actually REAL!) hahahhaha! ♥

to you guys that got to this page from the chatroom! ♥♥♥


Thursday, July 17, 2008

The thing about money..

I can't have them.
To me, the only reason why you should have them is so you can spend it! I mean, sure.. but some crazy people would suggest that I should save them but baah! Where's the fun in that? hahhaha!

Maybe I should blame my parents for the way I was brought up.
Mind, they didn't teach me to spend money so frivolously.. they didn't exactly give me everything and ANYTHING that I'd asked of them (imagine the brat I would've been if they had! How bratty can one be?) but they'd always make an exception when it comes to food.

So I always have this thought that it'd be a waste if I spend my money on finical things such as clothes or shoes.. Sure, it's nice to have new things to wear and I love having them, but I find it really hard to actually spend MY money on them. What's the point of having new clothes when you have to resolve to eating boring fast-foods for the rest of the month?
And yes yes.. I know that food always end up as poop at the end of the day. That is a valid point but still.. Clothes simply cannot beat food in my thoughts.

Well, food and books really.
I like to think that I'm doing something good with my money. heehee.
So anyway.. I have a bit of cash lying around (not much) and I've been thinking what I should be spending on for the past few days.. hmmm... heehee
Really.. I really shouldn't be with any money at all.

Anyway, my days have been pretty weird lately. (I'll spare you from my rants of my sleepless nights now)
I've been more or less.. blue. But not quite depressed.. so I guess that should be okay? Just not for the writing though. hahahha!
Gah.. this is so pointless..

baby, my heart aches :(

Sophie Ellis Bextor - I Am Not Good At Not Getting What I Want

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Hello sombre..

meh.. screw hiatus.
The word is a jinx, I swear.. I was never able to actually be on a hiatus every single time I said that I was taking one.

Is it just me or the video version of Usher's Moving Mountains sounds a little more.. heartbroken, than the album version?

Usher - Moving Mountains (video version)

Knowing me, you should know which version I'd prefer, right?
I can be so predictable sometimes..

Quiet night.
I am always bothered on quiet nights. The silence has always intensified my most depressing thoughts and tonight, it's about the things that I am lacking.
blah. It's irritating to be so aware of yourself and the surroundings that you notice what's missing. Of course I am aware of what I have, and I am thankful for those.. but, there is always a "but".

In an attempt to dull my thoughts, I'd done something as mundane as sorting out my bookmarks! Of course it proved to be useless as I am writing an entry about this quiet night.
Maybe I should blame my playlist.. I mean, Mirror Mirror, My Immortal, If You Only Knew, and Stranger By The Day hardly sounds upbeat.

I remembered something earlier today.. about how fast I ran out of post-it notes during my time in uni. Leaving short messages to my friends before going home for the weekends.. the one I really remembered was the one Bahijah had left me while I was asleep. She'd stuck it on my computer screen.. it was nice, but a little sad.
I never liked people leaving when I can't see them actually leaving. bah..
I don't know why I'm thinking about this. Little notes?

I'm hating this stupid conversation that I have with myself right now.
But most of all I am hating the fact that I keep waking up in the middle of the night just being and feeling restless. What a waste of time and effort in going to bed in the first place. blah.
I'm not really angry.. just.. tired. Extremely. Exhausted.

This isn't exactly the day to be sombre.. maybe I should go out and do something (stupid, perhaps? ha!) later in the day.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Scared of love.

[him] i got ur letter, and read it
[him] =p

ha - ha
I keep feeling like I should hit myself everytime I send a letter out.
Mostly because I immediately forget about its contents just two days after sending them out.

Oy, mark this!
This is.. the 2000th entry on this blog!!
And in the midst of nothingness, I had managed to forget about my blog's 6th year anniversary last month! Ah well.. this blog is exactly 6 years and one-month old today.

I'm thinking that I should take a hiatus from this blog. I dunno.. really take myself away from blogging as I keep upsetting myself when I write shitty stuff. Really, it's not that I used to even have any substance in my entries but these days.. I really feel like shit writing about stupid things. I feel like I'm a rubbish that takes the space on the floor.

At least when I'm miserable or depressed, I'd have some real thoughts on life or the lack of it. Or when I'm actually happy, I would write about how surprised I was of the feeling. But this.. the feeling that I'm currently feeling..
It's mediocrity and I simply cannot put up with it.

So I'm taking a break..
I'll be writing again when I'm utterly happy or incredibly depressed.
Until then, I'll just fill my Moleskine with all the rubbish that scatters around my brain.

Coheed & Cambria - Wake Up

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Right for me.

I find it amusing how I thought of Sarah McLachlan's song biannually. I just noticed actually.. as I was thinking of the song tonight. (2004, 2006)

Sarah McLachlan - Elsewhere

Days has been pretty slow..
I'm writing less and less...
I fear to think that my brain is having less and less activity -- that my brain is deteriorating as the rest of my body are (is?) See!! I'm getting stupider by the second!

I need to get my writing-groove back.
I miss writing on things that I truly care about and spending 2-hours staring at the screen finding my words, instead of writing about things half-heartedly and spending 3-hours getting distracted talking to people and somehow ended up reading on some random things on Wikipedia.

Well, I'm bored so lets see what the horoscope has in store for me today..
It is possible you will meet a new friend or associate today. Social events are worth attending now, as contacts may prove helpful to you later. You enjoy being with your family and loved ones today.
Guess we'll just have to see how that goes later today..
You may be undecided about the direction of your life right now. Think back on what you loved to do as a child. You could get inspiration from these memories. Dream big.
Mmm.. sometimes (most of the time really) I feel like dreaming big is the reason to why I get into so much trouble. I get a little too free-spirited.. a wee bit reckless.

Some days there won't be a song in your heart.
Sing anyway.

Emory Austin

Friday, July 11, 2008

The 7th thing..

[him] anything interesting u're doing?
[me] trying to think of something to blog about
[him] oo
[me] but there isn't anything to blog abooout
[him] then dont =p
[me] :-/

The facts were these.. I really had nothing to blog about.. but I don't want to keep having that previous entry at the top of my blog. Made me feel a little bad since I don't feel that way anymore, but deleting it.. I've never deleted any of my previous entries..
Well, there was one where I had edited drastically, but it was necessary for my future happiness. hahaha!

My angry bursts are horrible on paper (or in this case.. err.. well, you get the idea.) It's my little "payback". heh.
Taking a quote from A Knight's Tale; "I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity." (Chaucer)
hahahha! Although I rarely ever fictionalize my actual life (I do tell it as it is) I must admit that my writings are all strongly driven by my feelings and my feelings are very much into exaggerations. heh.
But really.. I was mostly talking about myself in the previous entry. So I wasn't really giving payback to anyone. I've never maimed anyone in my writings..
Not blatantly obvious on my blog at least. *smirks*

Ah well.. the things you have to put up with when you're with me.
Run now, or forever hold your peace.

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Excuse me..

Why do I keep feeling like an idiot.
Just thinking about it makes me feel like an even bigger idiot.
Loser-ish even and God knows I've NEVER described myself as being a loser.

Bloody asshole. I hate feeling weak.. and stupid.
'Cause I AM NOT stupid despite the fact that I say that all the time. I lied. (Refer to previous entry for an obvious example.) I am not stupid. But you making me feel like an idiot is actually an indication of me being stupid.

baah. It's time like this when I actually miss college.. the late night walks that are completely reckless and unsafe. Since I feel like an idiot anyway.. might as well I just act like one.
ughh. I'm supposed to be over my rebellious streak, dammit!

What's worse.. I actually feel like crying listening to love songs now! That's how frustrated I am over the stupid stupid measly, ridiculously stupid thing!
Fuck it.

Just needed to vent.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

You never write to me anymore..

really.. it's not fair. boo!
I refuse to write anything to/about you anymore..
ha ha ha ha ha!

Can't think of anything to write..
It's.. sad really.. Some people talk about gadgets, some about politics (pshh!), social/society things, fashion, food, music and movies.. and what do I talk about?

God, I must be really self-centered.
Since even when I don't really have anything to write about, I still ramble and babble about unnecessary things; such as this. (Can't help myself.)

Oh, I saw Wanted with Dida in the afternoon. The ending was.. interesting. But overall, I can't quite say if I loved it.
It was just.. fine.

Hope everyone's doing alright.
Have a good week!

Monday, July 07, 2008

I don't know how..


American Hi-fi - Another Perfect Day

Here's something..

So I told Dida that I've been having trouble sleeping. Even more than usual.
Then she responded; "you can die, you know?" (yeah I know.)
"At least you'll only get fat if you oversleep.." (yes yes, I get it..)

But the thing is, it is not as if I am doing it on purpose! It's not like I'm staying up because I wanted to.. If I had things to do, it would be different but my nights are spent by staring at different things around the room; closet, night lamp, computer screen, ceiling. Really exciting.

Anyway, I'm pooped.
I'd only managed to fall asleep way after 6 last night (morning, really) and before 9 my mom had come into my room to wake me up.
Spent the entire day in Seremban.. and I didn't nap a wink there. (Even though Mama and Dida did.)

I'd spent my time just chatting with Nina.. HOURS of chatting. Come to think of it, I hardly remember what we talked about. Mostly about Twilight series (I'm gonna make her read them!) and the M&M Cru and ACDC dance off that I saw on YouTube last night.

Then I actually told her about the things I'd talked about with my Facebook friends and one of them being my inability to start a casual-conversations. There was this one time when Nikki bombarded me with questions.. things that she wanted to know about me. I tried to return the favour but I couldn't think of anything to ask her.
To be honest, I'll end up forgetting her answers anyway.
Plus, what interests me most about the people I meet are their thoughts.

So naturally, I came up with one my-kind-of-question.
The conversation followed then was an interesting one.
And apparently Nina never knew that I always come up with a philosophical question to ask the people around me. I told her that I'd asked Papa on his thoughts on becoming a vegetable or depending on a life-support machine. She laughed and wondered why I had thought of things like that -- "I'm morbid, I suppose."

Ah well, I've known that I needed psych consult for a little while now. Nothing new there.. But now I wonder.. maybe it's the collective amount of the sleep that I lack is the reason to why I am the way I am..
That is an idiotic theory.
I don't think the recent heartaches (induced by restlessness) are helping much to my quickly declining mental health anyway.
I should go to bed and try to get some sleep.

James Morrison - Under The Influence

Sunday, July 06, 2008

I need to get to where you are..

So.. I was reading on those Jonas Brothers and apparently they wear something that's called a "purity ring". hahha! I don't mean to laugh really but it amuses me.
And what amuses me more is that on Wikipedia, listed under the See Also is "promise ring". hahahhahaha!
I swear I don't know why it made me grin and chuckle but it simply amuses me.
I actually think the idea of a promise ring is cute. *hint* (HAHHAha!!)

I find myself a little irked by the fact that I haven't had a "good" entry in a while. (Good by my standard that is..)

mm.. I'll try not to write about unnecessary, ambiguous things in the next entry.
It's been an incredibly slow day (Saturday).. even the voice in my head wasn't chattering as it usually would. Weird day.
Going to see Nina and the kiddies later today.. I look forward to getting ultimately pooped when I get back so I won't have to stare into nothingness as I wait until I get sleepy at night.
(I've been going to bed at 5am these days and waking up before 11am.. that can't be good.)

Joe Jonas' song is stuck in my head. ♥

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Like tiny cracks in my heart..

but blah.. let's pretend that I'm fine. (I am really.)
Because pretending to be happy (or in this case, "fine") is easier than answering dozens of questions to why I'm not.

Anyway, I saw Camp Rock just now..
I LOVE IT!!!!!!
Okay, for the songs that is. (err.. and it also helps that Joe Jonas is cute.)

There was this song near the ending.. pretty cool!
Mitchie was singing a song somewhere near the beginning of the movie and Shane sang another song in the middle.. and at the end two of the songs are combined!
So cuuute! HAHAHHA!! (I'm a sucker for things like this btw)

Joe Jonas - Gotta Find You

Demi Lovato - This Is Me

A little troubled.

I forgot why.
I forgot a whole lot of things lately. Like what I'd wrote in my book last night.
I hate to think that my mind is trying to block something (since I can't think of anything that I'd rather block at the moment, so if it's just blocking my memory in random.. I find it disturbing.)
Anyway, I just forgot why I am feeling troubled but the feeling is just there.. a remnant of something uncomfortable and foul.
And to top it off.. I lost your house..
I know that doesn't make any sense. You don't have to try and make sense of it..

Oh crap, I just wasted 30cents trying to send an email from my phone to Blogger. I really ought to remember this little things. (There were 2 messages in my Outbox for Blogger; so it seems that I've tried that before.. and was unsuccessful. haha!)

Talk about being unsuccessful, I'd spent the last hour trying to figure out how to convert a particular segment of XML into HTML and blah.. I suppose it wasn't possible since I needed more info on the tags.. I'd wanted to say that it was a waste of my mind-space but then again it had helped me killed some time..
And I know.. talks about XML.. CSS.. HTML.. pshh! Even I don't talk about it (not really..) and reading about technical stuff makes my head dizzy (why did you think that I did so bad in school?)

The fact that I know my way around HTML is strictly talent, I figure. hahhaha! Well, it was logic really. So even though I don't like my brain so much most of the time, I must thank the fact that I have a bit of logic in it.
Logically, the XML that I was working on didn't have the tags that I'd needed to replace them into HTML (I actually managed to make sense of those codes..)
Logically, the XML was stupid and I was not. heh.

So, there is this blog.. that I love to read. But everytime I visit it, I'd have to take a deep breath and be prepared. Most times I went in for a read, I will end up feeling jealous about certain things. hahahha!
It's stupid really.. if I always end up getting upset, I should stop looking at it right? But I can't!! I'm addicted. Plus, my friends doesn't update their blogs as frequently as this blogger-dude does!
(And I won't be sharing his url anytime soon for fear that he might hop-blogs and found out that I envy him. hahhaha!)

Okay, obviously I'm rambling on some really unimportant stuff.
The facts are these; I'm diverting my thoughts away from the things that are pressing on currently.. mainly concerning my feelings, but I'd rather not get into that and I can't give shit about the politics SO you'll just have to read my pointless ramblings about pointless stuff.. (although to be honest, there were hardly ever any "points" to my babbles)

Jars Of Clay - Work

It's the breathing..

Wednesday, July 02, 2008


aaaackk! I can cryyy!
(because I'm happy.. sort of.)
Okay, I shouldn't be happy about some silly things.. but I just AM!! I don't know why I haven't looked it up before.. but yaatttaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
Okay okay.. I'm stopping that.

I've actually been spending my days watching Fruits Basket (again) and only this time I had gotten around to look for the manga as well.. and thus letting myself be spoiled by the manga version of things.. HAH-HAH-HAA! (Ayame-laugh)
I don't think I'll go into that much since I'm very certain that most of you (if not ALL) wouldn't understand the crap I'll talk about. heehee.
Just.. make a note that I am happy about something that concerns Fruits Basket.

Real-life wise.. I am.. slightly.. indifferent. Or trying to be since the alternative would make me a worry wart.
Like hunny.. I'm concerned bugged about you not being able to call meeee.. ughh.. and I should just tell you right now since we're talking on Skype anyway but I am simply incapable of telling you.. things.
blah. I hate how much I depend on you. You suck! (No pun intended. HAHAHAA!!)

The dark clouds aren't looming over me so much now.
And I ran out of things to write about.. because.. I am.. indifferent. HA HAA!! (I sound more like crazy actually. Ah well..)

Norah Jones - One Flight Down

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Damn headache.

Too much sleep.. damn sleep. To think that I only had.. 8 hours of sleep collectively. shit. I'm always better off being insomniac that hypersomniac.

I'm losing sight of things.. blah.

I'd rather not think too much about that right now.
So it's Tuesday.. and July. I should start looking for a job and there is no other thought than depressive ones that fills my head.
So in an attempt to make fun of myself and lighten up my own mood, I'm going to amuse myself by running through the things that I want/don't want in a job. (ha!)

That actually makes me slightly more depressive by the way but lets pretend that I'm normal.
I've figured out one thing that I want at least. I want.. to see people. (Talking to them is optional. hahahaha!) I could get a job for that call centre thingies. I mean, I don't speak bad-English. I could have gotten that job, make decent money. Well, I did get that job but I panicked at the thought of working (stuck) in a windowless room answering phones. FYI, I hate talking on the phone -- an exception with the loved ones (of course Sylly..)

I'm going to spare you from my "I wish I'd choose money over job-satisfaction" speech 'cause that would definitely make me depressed.

shit. This is a bad day and there is no reason to it other than it being an effing bad day! Not to mention my slight envy (ha!) towards somebody I've never met! ha-ha-ha
My Moleskine is filling up nicely these days..
I honestly don't know why I'm blogging this, I swear. My thoughts are effed up for no reason again. (Told ya' I'm cursing more and more..)

Thoughts by The Uninspired. © 2014

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