Friday, October 10, 2008

Ponder.. ponder..

Why do people seem to think that I have a lot to say?
I don't.
I am a listener, people. I LISTEN! Yet people still expect me to say things. pssh! There hasn't been a day where I didn't wish that I'd be smarter.. wiser; so I'd have things that are worthy to be said.

Sometimes I caught myself looking forward to growing old. I wonder if I'd be any wiser. (God, I hope I would!!) Perhaps that's why I've been attracting old men. They are my "inside guy" to the life I'd like to delve into. Perhaps I've been in my father's head for too long.. perhaps it simply isn't enough. So I needed people like Ian and Greg to restore my faith in love and MEN altogether! hahahha! (I am talking about their thoughts and mind here.)

I'm not a curious sort of person. I don't question everything. I only want to know the things that I want to know, and I am perfectly capable of ignoring everything else. Just so happens that "relationships" is one of the subjects that intrigues me. So it's nice.. when people bring things up without me having to ask them. As I said, I'm a listener.

I don't understand why my sisters are disgusted by the thought of me talking to older men. I never thought of them THAT way! ewww! Most of the men I talked to were about my father's age! EWWW!!! I am physically, mentally and emotionally incapable of thinking of them "that" way and if their (the men's) intentions of starting a conversation with me was more than to just share experiences solely on an intellectual level.. ewww!! It's not my fault! Well, I'm too ignorant to notice things like that, anyway. And I don't think I'd be happier if I start doubting everyone's intentions.

Yesterday Boyfie told me that I've got to open up more.. Amazingly, I have been trying. blah.
So anyway.. I sort of promised a friend that I'd write him a letter but I can't think of things to write to him. hmmph.. if only my life was more eventful. haha!
Really. I don't have all that much to say.

Dar sent me (and a few others) this song last night. Amusing lyrics;

Soko - I'll Kill Her


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