Friday, November 28, 2008


That is exactly what I said yesterday as the credits to Twilight rolled away.
It wasn't bad.. but it wasn't great.. As I said to Kak Yan the other day; if only the books were shitty.

It was funny sitting in the cinema though. There were.. TOO MANY GIRLS! And a bunch of BOYS. Basically, there weren't any of the "adult" type around.
Story-wise.. the funny parts were funny I must admit. But I didn't feel for Edward and Bella. I didn't get why they fall in love. It'd seem so RANDOM in the movie. Like they just happened to fall for each other.
But it did NOT just happened!!! It's the little things between them that had somehow made one perfect for the other. grr..
I thought they'd at least get the relationship-connection part right. sigh.

Anyway, I had a bit of an adventure today. The internet place that I usually go to is closed (because it's Friday?) so I had to try out other places. And as I'm writing this.. I'm actually at the third place I've been to. hahahha! I spent 60cents at the first place, RM2 at the second.. I think I'm going to have to pay up RM4 here.

hmm.. Nothing much to type here really.
Life's been pretty stagnant. I don't know.. other than my dreams getting weirder and weirder and that the quality of my sleep is getting poorer and poorer, nothing much else is different. sigh.
Sad, pathetic and upsetting. And no, I'm not feeling depressed -- yet.

Shout out to Cik Bahijah..
This blog is open to invited readers only

Ape nieee?? I'm not invited? So sad!

'Til next time then.. who knows when that is. And I have got to stop checking my Facebook from my phone.. think I have RM10 left on my credit. ha ha ha.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Dramedy dramedy...

So there's been a bit of drama in my life lately. With things not going my way.. people being jerks.. but I don't know, as I was sitting in my bed earlier.. staring at the bookshelf while I muster the strength to pick myself up and get my legs to take the steps that will take me to the bathroom, I find myself smiling.. and chuckling at the fact that my life is what it is..

Ah well, I do have a weird sense of humour.
But can you imagine how would I be if my sense of humour had been normal? I can laugh at the most unlikely things and still I feel very low sometimes. hmm.. I just came up with a theory for that but I don't feel like typing it out right now. Maybe someday if I brought on the subject again.

Been trying to book a ticket for Twilight this Thursday, but they're all FULLY BOOKED!! wtf. I'm going during the day! And I only want A ticket!! grr.. Guess I'll have to just go and stand in line like "normal people" and pray that there will be good seats left. sigh.
Plenty of seats left in Signature, but do I want to spend RM15 for a movie that I might be disappointed in?? gahh!

So I've been thinking..
ANYONE HERE WANTS TO GET ME A LAPTOP? hahahaha!! (talk about random. I've been doing that this past few days somehow.) Because I remembered something about a band that calls out to their fans to donate instruments.. anything, really and they promise to thank them on their album -- and they did! Apparently there was a long list of names on their album leaflet. Can't remember what band it was...
So anyway! Anyone wants to get me a laptop? heehee. I'll thank you in my book (if I get it done -- AND published, that is) for sure! HAHAHHAHAHAHA!

Funny Facebook group: click!
These people are probably serious, but I still find it amusing.

And now, before I leave..
wo ai ni, Lim Ai Liang!!
hahahahhaha. (Your Chinese name sounds cute, really..)
I miss you miss you miss youuuu!

Monday, November 24, 2008

10:10 ten ten..

So I had an interesting Saturday.
Went to catch a movie with some old uni friends and some new friends.
It was nice seeing that bunch again. Fina and Amal.. (who are now married and leaving for Hajj this weekend) Nana and Wan.. (also married, and expecting. eeep!) There were also Ina and Amri. (err.. why do my friends comes in couples? hahhaha!) Then there was Bahijah (minus Ilsa) and also Ana!
Actually it's a little unnerving when I think about people my age.. having a solid relationship or even a spouse! High school sweethearts.. or been together for over three years.. yikes! Well, that's just me though.
Ana, do you feel anything?
My heart kinda race when I think about it.

Fina chose Quarantine.. seriously. Good thing Nana didn't come along. I mean.. seriously. I think I didn't pay as much attention as I should on the movie. Really.. I can't take it!
Please please.. no more horror/thriller flicks for me. My brain can't take it. It should be fine if I could leave the story at the cinema but it haunts me when I lie in bed at night. And zombies.. really.. they bring up so many issues.

I had a real bad sleep last night. Nothing to do with zombies though. I kept tossing and turning all night that my entire body aches right now. And it was cold from the rain. blah. I suppose having cried a little before falling asleep didn't help either. Not too sure exactly what brought that on though. psh. It's probably better forgotten.

Anyway, I'm hoping that I'd faint and fall asleep soon.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Sagittarians are stubborn.

Not that I need to, but I read about these kinds of things. Compatibilities mostly. It's bordering obsession. (Maybe I've already crossed that line.) After all, most of my friends knew how to answer me when I ask them; "What is he/she?" The ones whom I am only acquainted with would answer me with his/her day jobs. My friends would answer me with a zodiac sign. hehe. (And that's why I LOVE THEM!!)

So when it comes to relationships.. I'm actually a little reserved. Knowing what the other person is makes me careful.. and to not even bother with them, sometimes. (eeep!)
But really, I'm a firm believer that you hold your own fate. (sort of.) Qada' & Qadar -- just because God has written your life in a certain way, it doesn't mean that you can take it easy. Doesn't mean that things couldn't change. Does not mean that your life will remain the same if you stay the same.
When things between two people happens.. it happens! Doesn't matter what the studies says. Just because the statistics says one thing, doesn't mean that I am among those numbers. I could be the anomaly that stumps those rigid researchers; the 0.01% that throws their entire study from being "absolute".

HAHHAHAHHA! You know I'd love that.

Just because the studies shown that I can't be with a particular sign, doesn't mean that things couldn't change. I believe that things could work out -- if you want to work it out. (Then again, I'm a Sag.. do take note that I'm so stubborn that I'll believe in anything that I want to believe in and that NOTHING you say could change my mind.. or heart, for that matter.)
It's good to be fighting with a Sag anyway.. it shows that they truly care about the issue. It's when they stop fighting that everyone should worry about. It'll only mean one of two things; that they don't feel like themselves anymore.. or that they no longer care. In both cases, they'd lost their fire.

So I'm stubborn.
I refuse to be among the statistics. (My numbers are bad if I am one.) I am hopeful.. it's just one of Sag's nature. And I know it's silly to say that since I am telling you that I am not among the numbers.. but hey! There are cusps.. Rising Signs, Ascending Signs.. the order of your birth, the environment you were brought up in, your parents..
Those things matter when it comes to the make up of a person -- which then matters to the kind of relationship that they have with other people. (Then there's the order of your partner's birth, the environment they were brought up in.. THEIR parents..)

hahahha. Anyway.. really.. I refuse to believe that MY relationship is doomed to fail. So the studies can show and tell me anything that they like. I like what I like. I feel what I feel. My heart wants what it wants. And that's that.

This blog entry is in response to Jangteh's blog entry. hehe. Just couldn't help myself. The whole thing just made me think. I've never had a really good relationship with a Capricorn myself; the two I used to be friendly with completely irked me -- one always gave me a strong urge to flick something at her way. And I used to get on a cousin's nerve when we were younger. But there was one Capricorn that I used to be best friends with. She was loud, but she was AWESOME. I loved her anyway. She moved away and I have no idea how she is doing these days.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I think Lifelogger died.

So sad. I like Lifelogger.

Dudes! Let's celebrate my birthday at Zoukout! hahhaha! Apparently it's on my birthday this year. Pretend that I actually listen to dance music. HAHAHAHHA. I'm having a hard time pretending myself.

Anyway, I'm bored. I feel like writing but there's nothing to write. Should find something to eat but bah! I'm so lazyyyy!! I wonder if there's anything that I could pop into the microwave other than the bag of popcorn. hahahha!

ughh.. Anyway, I'm stealing one of Hannah's surveys again;

1) Single, Taken, or Crushing?
Taken! Taken taken taken!

2) Are you happy with where you are?
No. I'd rather be somewhere else.

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
Nope. I fall in slow motion.

4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yeah, it was unfortunate.

5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where if they cheated on you and you are planning to dump them then
I used to be able to answer this straight forward, but now I'm not sure.

6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
Depends on how hurt I was over it.

7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?

8) Do you want children?
Yes please.

9) How many?
Not many. Maybe I'll have one first and we'll see how that goes.

11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
Now? I'd prefer they keep it to themselves really. It'll make me feel bad if they tell me and I can't respond them with what they want to hear.

12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
haha. The only times I've played hard to get is when they can't get me at all.

13) Do you want someone you cant have?
I don't think so.

14)Do you believe love at first sight exists?
Not really. Not for me anyway.

15) Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
Yes please! heehee. It's unnecessary really, but it's nice to have.

16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
Not if they don't want to change themselves.

17) If you could get married anywhere, where would it be?
A beach.. or a garden in a secret location! hahahha.

18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?

19) Have you ever wished you could've had someone but you couldnt?
Yes, but things happens for a reason, no? I'm glad I didn't get them then. heehee.

20) Have you ever broken a heart?
err.. yes.

21) Would you ever fight over a guy/girl?
maybe not.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Umm.. so..


Been a while. I haven't been on a hiatus just so you know. Not an intentional one anyway.
My mom installed a virus on my sis' laptop so she's getting it fixed. It's amazing how dependent I've become to the internet. I'm surprised at how much it's been my source of distraction! bah.

Anyway, I'd love to upload a few pics of my trip to Singapore but for what ever reason the external hd that I brought from home isn't working right now. The red and green led kept blinking back and forth and I hope that doesn't mean that I broke the thing. Dida would be pissed. eeep!
And I will be sad!! ughhh.
Oh, I'm at an internet place in Section 2 btw. I absolutely hate the big ass monitor that they have. grr.

hmm.. Nothing much to tell really. I've typed up a long-ish message to Eeva.. doodled a bit in my Moleskine yesterday.. and sort of saving up my excitement 'til I see Cik Alia (hopefully sometime this week) so I could tell her my stories with full enthusiasm like she'd wish that I would.

Ran out of things to do and write now. Soo.. I think I'll go home and just pray that the laptop will be back soon. I SO want to upload pictures!! hahahha.
Oh crap. I thought I'd sent a text to the Boyfie when I got here. sigh.
Really hope I'll get to log on at the comforts of home next time...

'Til later then..

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Nothing but affection.


Kinda weird.. kinda amazing.. honestly I don't have words to describe my day. Well, I'd rather not say some of the things. I love to keep things private. Some things anyway. Like a secret. A really big secret that only two persons share.. hahahha! Honest to God, nothing really kinky went on. hahahhahha!

Oy, I'm driving myself mad. I should go to bed and rest.
Poor Boyfie had eyebags too 'cause he didn't get enough sleep as he was worried about me last night. Sylly Sylly boi.
I love you soooo!

sigh. I think I'm gonna pour my heart out on my Moleskine. I wrote some idiotic things earlier (because I was feeling pretty idiotic) so I need to rectify those. double sigh. I can't wait 'til noon tomorrow. (Well, after the kind of day that I had.. I just hope that I'll get a decent enough amount of sleep!)

Oh! Here's a tip for those who intends on staying at a backpackers' hostel;
it is smart to bring slippers/thongs so you could move around the toilet without having your shoes getting wet.
err.. yeah. So maybe you didn't need anyone to tell you that but I wish someone had told me!

mmph. I wish I had a memory card reader at my disposal. Could've uploaded some pictures! gah. (Not that I took many. sigh.) I should snap a bunch of pictures like a mad woman tomorrow. yosh!

weeeee headache!

I jumped on a train. heehee.
Not literally though. Would've been dramatic if I did.

I'm writing this from the lobby of The Hive Backpackers' Hostel in Singapore! hahahha! The thought that I am a "backpacker". Kinda cool.. but funny in the same time. heehee. I haven't had the chance to look inside the bedroom yet since the check in is at 2pm. (I'm staying in a dorm! hahhahahahha! oy, thoughts of summer camps is flashing in my head now.)

Anyway, me being me.. it took a while for me to get to the MRT station from Tanjong Pagar Train Station. (I asked one person for direction.) Then I took the MRT that went the other way, so I got out after one stop. Got off at Lavender station, walked around for I don't know how long (asked two persons before I found Lavender Street) before finally getting to this place. ha ha ha ha ha!

I'm delirious. It was odd on the train. Whenever I fall asleep, I'd wake up after an hour. It happened at least 4 times. gah!
Anyway, I think I'll plop down on the sofa. Too tired to think of what to write.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


I guess my "next entry" would be now.
I stole this from Hannah's;

Your birthday:
December 13th 1984

People have same birthday as you?
Jamie Foxx, Tom DeLonge, Amy Lee

Would u rather play or watch football?

What sport would u say you’re good at?
bowling..? hahahhaha! I'm not good in any sports really, but I'm less pathetic at bowling and volleyball.

What was your worst nightmare?
hmm.. I dreamt that my family was killed off one by one in front of me by people who travels around in a fold-able red airplane. (Guns included.) There was no rhyme or reason to it. They just came and shoot around. The awful part was that I could see their souls as it leaves the body. I woke up crying.
I was twelve.

Apples or oranges?

Grapes or watermelon?
Are the grapes seedless?

Wolves or tigers?
Wolves are cool, but I'm a cat person.

What kind of music do you listen to?
Anything with strings really.

Have you ever written poetry / poem?
A terrible one? Sure!

Do you remember birthdays?

Do you know what time u were born?
6:29 am

Do you have a birth mark? where?
I don't see it.

Are you a sweet person?
Only when I want something ;)

What were you doing before you started filling this in?
Sent an email to Dida.

What were you doing yesterday?
Did laundry, went out, had picnic with Ana at KLCC Park.

What about today?
Surf the internet, sent emails, blogged, walked to the grocery store..

What is your favourite gun?
water gun!

Chocolate or vanilla ice-cream?

What is the first thing you notice about someone? (opposite sex)
the expression they had on their face

What’s your favourite smell?
something baking in the oven

Favourite songs that you hear often?
Blue October's, Paramore's, James Morrison's.

What are you thinking about right now?
sleep. I'm thinking about sleeping. How lucky other people are to have a good night's sleep.

What is your favourite disney movie of all time?
The Little Mermaid.

What colour are your eyes?
dark brown.

Who is your crush now?
no one..?

What kind of hair do u like on the opposite sex?
the kind that feels good when you run your hands through it. hahahha. But if it's strictly-looking only, short. I like 'em short.

Who do u want to go steady with?
..I'm already going steady with someone!

Sunrise or sunset?
tough one. Sunset.

What happened this few days?
a bunch of nerve-wrecking situations which were amusing somehow.

what does the review say?

Where can you see yourself going for your honeymoon?
Santorini!!! hahahha I wish! Someplace boring would be fine -- then we wouldn't have to make excuses for not having that many pictures when we get back since we'd spend all our time in the bedroom.

My ex is:
alive, so I've heard.

Maybe I should:
get lunch. Or shower. I can't decide. oh, my tummy just grumbled. Lunch then.

I love:
being in love.

I don’t understand:
myself, most of the time.

I lost:
the watch a good friend gave me :( And I love that watch! (still hoping that I'll miraculously find it someday.)

People say I’m:

Love is:
forceful, apparently.

Somewhere, someone is:

I will always:
love you.. I will always stay true.. (singing to Regine Velasquez with Jacky Cheung's song) hahhaha!
I will always confuse myself, really.

Forever seems:
soooo... loooong...

I never want to:
feel alone.

When I wake up in the morning:
I'd wish for more sleep.

Parties are:
awesome when you invite the right people.

My dog is:

Kisses are the worst when:

Today I:
feel weird. Sort of off.. but not quite.

Tommorow I:
will embark on a journey! hahahha!

I really want:
Boyfie, please!

I have low tolerance for people who:
are simple minded.

If I had a million dollars:
DOLLARS, eh? Pay my debts, build a house, buy an apartment, travel to where my friends are.

eeep. Mad cow disease.

Sagittarians aren't known for their sense of direction.
Well.. in the literal kind at least. I mean, most Sagittarians I know always knew what they wanted in life and they always pursue in that direction. But when it comes to roads.. I know a couple who couldn't help but get lost.

A friend of mine once told me about her mother.. she'd usually ask for directions from my friend before she leaves home. But after a few hours, she'd call from her cellphone and frantically saying that she was lost and had no idea where she was. (My friend eventually had to drive out with the other car to find her mom.)

Then there's the other friend whom had once got lost driving around inside KL for 3 hours. (There was no traffic.) hahahaha. I thought that was amazing.
Well, of course there are other Sagittarians like my sister.. who ALWAYS knew where she was going.. literally, or metaphorically. She'd know the roads in JB by the second time we drive out from the hotel! (Well, I thought that was impressive.)
And yet, unfortunately.. a good sense of direction isn't hereditary. I am bound by my absent-mindedness to not know where I am (literally or metaphorically). When it comes to direction.. I am.. a COW.

Annoying, really. The other day I wanted to go to Dida's office by Putra LRT. (Keep in mind that I've done this just last week.) So I went to the ticketing counter and said confidently; "Taman Paramount"
So while in the train, I was listening in to my headphone (Paramore) while I was half-eying the guy standing next to me. (It was amusing.. we looked quite similar in appearance really; white top, capri/shorts, Converse shoes.. right down to the Sony Ericsson handphone/earpiece!)

So I heard the announcements.. Taman Jaya.. Asia Jaya.. Taman Paramount.. oops! That's where I should get off, and so I did -- except, it ISN'T where I should get off! I went outside.. walked along the station.. took at least three minutes before I figured out -- I should've gotten off at Taman Jaya!! Idiot.

The speed (or the lack of it) of my mind is really embarrassing sometimes.
And that's the reason why I get nervous when I'm at a new place. I'm afraid of taking a wrong turn and getting even more confused when I've gone too far from where I'd intended to be.

Moving on, I spent an awesome day with Ana yesterday. (Sushi in the park!!) Amazingly it didn't occur to me to take any pictures. sigh. Maybe we were too consumed by the amazing sandwich that we got from Cold Storage. (Seriously, we spent a while admiring the pastries and sandwiches available.) (Have I mentioned to you that I LOVE bread?)

My dad said something to me the other day.. which caught me by surprise. Well, I wasn't really surprised, but more like amused. I need to keep in mind that though he doesn't really KNOW me, he actually knows what I'm capable of; which is a little daunting.. somehow.
Ah well, he did say that I was "wild" in comparison to my sisters. I guess you could consider being bold and reckless as wild.

I suppose this is a pretty long entry, but I like it. It's normal for me anyway. Can't say when will I post another entry since I'm not even supposed to write this one. (Long story.) I'm just going to try and keep myself busy for the few days to come in hopes that I will be too pooped to think and that I'll just crash in bed and fall asleep at night. (Even after the long day I had yesterday.. and going to sleep at 3 since Dida and I were talking about her laptop and other things.. I still woke up at 8. wth!)

So I'm going to try and keep myself busy. I think I'll go outside for a walk in a bit.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Slept poorly.

I'm more tired of the quality of my sleep than tired because of the quality of my sleep. It's really.. frustrating.
What's the point of being a bum when you can't even get a decent amount of sleep, really?

It also didn't help that I was troubled by a dream. Wasn't exactly a nightmare, but disturbing all the same.

Anyway, I'd like to kick myself out of the house right now. I want to go out, but I don't feel like it. I'd like to go out.. but I don't have to. It's all very confusing. hehe.

blah. 'Til later. I haven't decided on anything yet except to stop blogging since I've been at it since the past two hours and this is all I could come up with.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Comfort in sorrow.


Interesting word. I never knew that it had meant exactly that. I like it.

Anyway, Dida and I went to catch the new 007 movie, Quantum Of Solace. hmm.. let's see.. what can I say about it? If you'd like to see an example of such a thing as "too much action", you should see this film.
Perhaps I was expecting too much out of it but it was really.. really.. disappointing. It practically had NO STORYLINE at all! I mean, I like continuation-sequels really. I think it's cool. Quantum Of Solace is a continuation of Casino Royale, but I don't like the fact that if you had not watched Casino Royale, you would have NO IDEA what this one is about! It really was.. that empty.

Sad, really.
Basically the film was only a filler to the next one -- which renders it completely unnecessary. So if you're one of Astro's movie package subscriber.. just wait 'til Star Movies get the rights to show it. hahahhaha. I'm being mean, aren't I?

There's a possible explanation to that though. As I'm typing this out, Arsenal is having Man United for lunch. Sad. I hate that I get emotional about sports. Which is why I can't -- and should never bet on sports. My brain is able to anticipate what will happen but my heart.. my hopes always trumps my better judgment. hahahha!
With that said, I'm betting that my Premier League Picks for this weekend is going to suck!

Also.. something else that sucks; the song on the opening credits for Quantum Of Solace.

wtf. Ferguson decided that he should take Anderson out so Giggs could go in.
Seriously. All these old people should retire.
And please, can we return Berbatov? Please? I'm asking nicely here.
wtf. Teves for Rooney. gah!
I'd like to see Ferguson do something crazy like get all the "defenders" out of the field and replace them with strikers instead. What's the point of having "defenders" when they can't defend? Honestly! Why bother?

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Je ne sais pas.

Sometimes I don't even know why I say the things that I say. It's like word-vomit. You can't exactly keep it in, and when it's out you definitely can't take it back.
I wonder if it will ever get easier; to not speak the truth for the sake of not sounding like a mad-woman even though you'd already feel like one.
I wonder if I will ever be any wiser.
I hope I would.

I wonder if having a stone for a heart is a requirement for one to become wiser.
ah, obviously as I say that.. at the very moment I thought of those very words, I have made myself pretty apparent to the fact that I am not wise. Very far from it, unfortunately. sigh.
This is tiring.

To be wanting.. and not having.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I was stripped of all wants but I'm not sure that it would be life at all.

Currently listening to: Lenka - Anything I'm Not
(Lifelogger is being lame.)

C'est moi.

I read this somewhere.. about having writer's block; because the first key to writing is to write, you should write anyway as an exercise -- you'll never know how things will turn out when you let your words flow.
So anyway, the thing that I read said that for an exercise, you could write an "autobiography" in one sitting. (Well, obviously it isn't a very long autobiography unless you don't need to eat, drink or pee.)

I've always wanted to try that. (Another exercise is to type out one of your favourite books. Again, just to let the words flow in hopes that you'll find your own words and stop plagiarizing. hahaha!)
But every single time I've thought about trying, I'd get stuck.. not knowing where to start. Should I start from when I was born? 'Cause I don't really remember that part. Should I write every bit of memory that I have? 'Cause then I'd be bored before I finish.

Yet somehow I managed to write the title; C'est moi, which is funny since I'm not French nor do I speak the language. (Okay, maybe just a little; je mapelle Wanie, oui, no, pardon moi, toilette, je ne sais pas, je ne sais quoi, RSVP, deux billets s'il vous plaît, foie gras, baguette, croissant. HAHHAHHAHHAHA!!)
Honestly I don't know what that says about me. Probably of my silliness.

Aaanyway. I'm stuck at the title now. Maybe I shouldn't have had it in French since now I'm just amusing myself with the little vocabulary that I have. bah!
I need to focus.
I'll try the exercise some other time. hahahhahahha!! (That must have been the dozenth time I said that!)

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

*cough cough*

Boring day.
Let's see.. I woke up relatively morning, got a shower and went out to run some errands. All the while my brain was trying to decide if I should get lunch. I wasn't feeling like eating but I promised to Boyfie that I won't skip meals on purpose and "not feeling it" doesn't sound like a good excuse, so I got lunch. bah.

I'm still coughing. It was horrible since I got woken up coughing all through the night. Annoying. I heard that people who tries to quit smoking would be coughing a lot. So maybe I was coughing more 'cause I didn't smoke all day yesterday?
Not funny, I know. I talk about unnecessary things when I'm bored.

Til later.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Amusements for the day.

It's amusing how certain people needs to resolve to extortion to get something from me.
I spent about one and a half minute wondering what that says about me and I learned two things;
1. how little (or none) they had to offer to invoke my interest,
2. how little (or none) I care about helping them.

I'm not a nice person, really. Philanthropy does not suit me. And I always makes it worse by writing things out in here -- without guilt. I don't know.. maybe because I feel sorry for my pathetic life for most of the time so I feel the need to make known how other people's lives were just as pathetic as mine.

I usually blame myself when I don't care about people.. I'd feel out of touch, inhuman somehow. But for certain people, I can't care to care about them. They've stretched my patience so thin that time and time again I caught myself cursing under my breath, "die!"
That isn't nice. I shouldn't be saying that to the people I've known for the rest of my life. It's just mean.

So I guess I'll just do what ever they wanted me to do. For as long as I'm living under this roof, I probably should anyway.
Wow.. now I've finally figured out why I've always felt the need to run away. It's amusing every single time I uncovered one of the many psychological scars I have. But what's more amusing is how stoical I am right now. I'm not angry.. not upset.. I am more to -- bored.

Extorting me is getting old, and boring. Especially when I don't care. Even more so when you're trying to take away what isn't yours. You should be embarrassed, really. Oops. Maybe I am a liiittle mad after all.

Oh, on a lighter note.. last night's race was INTENSE! Poor Massa. I felt sorry for him.

Sunday, November 02, 2008



Paramore - Decode

Paramore ♥
I actually just really listened to it and the lyrics. hahaha ♥

It's been a pretty quiet Sunday -- which is what I needed. Kinda.
My cousin Ain got married yesterday, and my morning started with a phonecall from Papa that it was already half past eight. (The akad will be at 10.) Basically my morning didn't start very well since I had a lousy sleep; Dida was coughing throughout the night and everytime she did, it'd wake me up.
blah. I wasn't always a light sleeper, but I've been one recently. Annoying.

Oh, should I mention that I wasn't feeling so well when I wake up? I was phlegmy. yuck. I spent more time in the bathroom than I usually would trying to get rid of those.

Anyway, later that night was the reception at the Subang Golf Club. I wasn't expecting to do any work but when I got there, my unc and aunt had asked me to do a few things.
1. carry the HUGE bags of bunga telur (which wasn't exactly in the traditional look of a flower. You know.. modern style wedding; the eggs were in little boxes) which was REALLY heavy.
2. usher the guests to their designated tables.
3. arrange the eggs and cakes ("freebies" for guests to bring home) into baskets.
4. distribute the cakes to the guests.
5. distribute chocolates to the little kids.

Well, I did that before I got a headache. That wasn't fun. I asked Nina to do a lobotomy on me but she was too busy nursing Aqilah. hahahha!

Anyway, it's November. For what ever reason I'm kinda excited that it's November.
I'm looking forward to the F1 race later tonight. hehe. Should be exciting!

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