Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Gemok, ketot, buta lagi pekak.

(Fat, short, blind and deaf.)

Stupid weighing machine. According to the scale, I am the fattest I've ever been in my entire life. Really, the only consoling fact about it right now is that I'm still in the normal BMI weight range.
But still.. I really really need to start watching what I eat. (and actually start doing some exercises that could tone my tummy area. I'm FAT!!)

And as for my eyes.. gahh!! I don't want to talk about it.
Also.. the hearing test.. oyy, I managed to glimpse at the printed results and it looked horrible! Too many zig zags; like I have alternate deafness! haha! It really didn't help that my heartbeat was louder than the test's sound. grr.

It was neat that Fabian and May were also at the medical centre. Amyan was practically there too 'cause I kept texting her. hehe. I complained a lot earlier. The doctor.. sigh. She was pretty friendly at first, seemed really interested in my medical history.

Then she asked me about smoking.
DUM DUM DUMMM.. (dramatic score)

I don't want to talk about it. But basically everything pretty much went downhill from there. Not really downhill, but I felt really timid and small and stupid. I really really hate the fact that I have this stupid tendency to tell the truth all the time. Even if it's not the whole truth.. I HATE IT!!
I hope they'll look over it 'cause I seem so honest. hahhahahahha!! I feel so pathetic for saying that.
It didn't help that she did the physical exam after my stupid blunder. I feel so violated afterwards. hahahhahah!

I only laugh to keep myself from crying.

Sometimes I feel like I keep sabotaging myself. Am I? God, I hope not. I really don't need anymore reason to hate myself.
ughhh.. redha sajalah! I don't know what else to do. I'll beat myself up once the results come out -- if I have to, that is. I'm hoping that I won't have to. oh pliss jangan laa..

What ever lah! Esok komplain komplain lagi dengan Amyan. For now, I'm going to stop talking about it.
I've got to stop reminding myself how stupid I can be or I'll be back in the ditch again.

1 comments: said...

babe, if you are fat, then WHAT AM I? *sob* :(

oh yea, kalau nak excercise,nak join! :P

and too many zig zags tuh horrible ke? i nampak i punye macam straiiight, then tibe2 menjunam jatuh, then naik balik. hahaha! but they didn't ask me to do it again, so ok la KOT. sebab ada sorang dua kena buat balik the hearing test smalam.

and about the violation, i really thought you'd knew! tsk.

tomorrow is going to be one heck of a complaining session! huhu.

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