Friday, July 24, 2009

Am I ready?


This time, I must honestly say that I am laughing to keep myself from crying. I've never felt so.. horrible in my life. I suppose I can't keep being selfish. I must choose my words wisely from now on.

I have no idea how things turned out the way it did.
We had communication.
We had love.
I guess it came down to distance.. and the fact that I am not strong enough to hold on to "us". It's not a good feeling to be the weak link.
To be the cheater.
And what's worse.. I wasn't surprised that I did what I did. What sort of a person am I???

A horrible one, of course.
Suppose I should just let Awif's words sink in.. if things are meant to be, it's meant to be. So I'll just go with the flow from now on.
If I should spend my old days alone, then it'd be my karma and I shall accept it.
I don't think I deserve to be with anyone anyway.

So! Other than my mental health being at stake here, I must say that everything else is going great! I am nowhere close to being good at my job yet but at least I am enjoying the people I am working with!
Plus the fact that we don't take our jobs home. Once we get off the aircraft, we'll leave everything behind, have a good long sleep and be excited to serve people again on the next flight!

Oh, dude.. perhaps I am too cynical to be working in this line but you wouldn't know that if you're not reading this blog. heh.
I am not bored of this job yet and that is the main reason why I joined in the first place. Not much life going on though.. all I do on my days off is sleep, sleep and more sleep.

And flying is giving me my allergies back. My leg is UGLY from the rashes! But please don't try to spot it when you see me in my uniform. Look at my heavily made-up face instead; I at least spend forty minutes getting my face ready. Or look at my butt instead! Just.. not the legs.

Guess I am no longer fasting from blogging.
Though I don't have all that much to say, to be honest... too busy having secret conversations with myself. heh


Debzie said...

wanie!!!!!! :(

i dunno what to say. :/
/bangs head against the wall

still none.

i'm concerned but...
izh speechless atm. :|

Monkey's Bunny said...

you don't need to bang your head against the wall :P
you don't need to say anything :)

Debzie said...

/sends you the most comforting hug that i can give :)

Monkey's Bunny said...

/received it

thank youuu

Alif Iskandar Tareh said...

owh you're still having that allergies ke? should do something about it tho... pergi clinic la.. since its free kan? :)

anyway.. you dont go with the flow... you, yourself direct the flow.. since thats what you are doing right now :)

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