Sunday, August 01, 2010

..And all I could do is cry.

Being the youngest child has its perks.
But when you're a semi-depressed youngest child, those perks would turn into a reason to cry in a matter of moments.

Take this for instance..
I am having a mighty heavy heart about going to work with a runny nose later in the morning. My fever is practically gone, but the flu seems to be sticking around for the time being. A little flu sounds really minor to miss work, but when you're flying.. And your nose is blocked.. The pressurised air will press on to your eardrums and would cause a great headache.
I don't know about other people but I would usually have this one vein on my forehead pulsing with pain as the aircraft descends to land.
No amount of Valsalva manoeuvre can save me from this pain.

So I'd been contemplating about taking the taxi from Bukit Jalil to Shah Alam -- so I could go to my clinic, which I know is open 24-hours and is a panel of my company.
Guess my parents weren't too happy with the idea so they are on their way from Seremban (taking care of Nina's family who are down with a fever -- including Dida) to get me to the clinic right now.

I don't like the idea of my dad driving in the night. And I feel so selfish for making them want to fetch me. I should've just left and tell them AFTER I had seen the doctor.
I am not worth the trouble.. really.
So here I sit waiting.. Crying.. Hating the fact that I am still sickly and lonely and needy!!!

UGHHHHH!! I frustrate myself.
I keep trying to be a better person, be independent.. And yet here I am still needing my parents' help.
I am a grown woman, for God's sake!!
I hate this. I really really hate that I still seem so helpless at times.
I hate being sick. I really hate being sick.

I'd like to drop dead right about now, thanks.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.


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