Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Heart-headache.

I chose a song from the playlist in the player..
It wasn't something that I've heard before. It was slow, jazzy and sounded romantic. Intimate.
I walked towards the bedroom, the door was slightly ajar.
I peeked through and saw the back of a plump woman with long wavy hair getting out of bed, wearing an oversized shirt and nothing else.
I moved to my right to see the rest of the bedroom and met with a disappointment as I saw him in bed topless, the crumpled bedsheet covering his privates. A smile stretched across his face as he looked on to the woman who was moving about the room.

I was invisible to them. He was oblivious of me standing there, staring, gaping...
Screaming inside.

...aaand that was my cue to wake up!

I call this, "Mimpi yang sangat babi".
Of course when I told Encem about it he assured me that it was just a dream.
Sure sure.. it was a dream. Doesn't mean that I could just forget about it. The emotions were real. Or at least felt SO real to me. I was so confused.. still is, to be truth. And upset. Mostly because I don't know how to let it go. And knowing that it isn't really Encem's fault to begin with.

Just a day after I told Bestie that I haven't had a dream in a while; at least none that I could remember to talk about in the morning...
THIS!
After months, probably.. I had to dream about THIS! Of Encem's infidelity.
grrrrr...

Though it was just a dream.. I am still disappointed. So disappointed that I don't feel like smiling or even try to laugh about it.
I think I've told Encem plenty of times before to always be honest with me. Even if honesty is going to hurt me. That if he ever got bored of me, he should say it to me first before going out to find other sources of entertainment.

Perhaps I should remind him this.

Anyway, I know for a fact that I've been feeling lonely lately. Work's been all too consuming that we mostly spend our free time sleeping.
I honestly need a good, long vacation. And a conversation that is worth my time.

Short breaks and distractions just doesn't cut it anymore.

4 comments:

Sue Andy's said...

Dear wanie...
Ive been a silent reader of this blog for years... Until i read this entry,suddenly rasa kena smacked on the face... LOL

Been thru of mimpi sgt babi twice. And i cn say its a memo from god. Telling me he's not a right guy for me. Sbb apa i ckp cmtu. Few days after i mimpi. Ttiba kantoi mmg other half tu curang.


I dunno wanie. Might be because i pray a lot to Allah asking HIM to show me if this is not a good jodoh to me. And i think He's answering my prayer.

Sweetpea Witch said...

yikes!

but what does it say if my other half pun pernah mimpi I curang dengan dia? hahahahahha

Suzy Effendi said...

that is sweet mimpi revenge kot! mueheheh. oh n btw masa i mimpi tu i tgh pregnant. yikesss!!!

btw this is my new blog acc :P previous one Sue Andy's

Sweetpea Witch said...

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?!!!!!

T_T

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