A constant reminder of the hurt, of how the emptiness hurts.
I am not even pining. Even if I am, I long for the pain to stop. I want the ache to stop.
I don't cry myself to sleep at night. But the tears came each night anyway. I don't feel weak, the tears somehow eases the pain ever so slightly. As if with each drop of tear, that heaviness in my heart is lifted.. a little, for a little while.
I've never been good with being patient. I am not good at waiting. And to have spent my time waiting on "nothing" is not at all helping.
My heart keeps aching and I'm tired of explaining why it hurts so much.
I just want the pain to stop.