Friday, July 22, 2016

Three months..

Must be one of the longest "break" I've had from blogging. I probably thought about writing at least once a week, but I just end up doing something else. The fact that I'm still computer-less also plays a part. Typing up an entry on a phone (as I am right now) hardly feels like I'm actually writing. More like making a list of "to-do's".

To be honest, I haven't been writing much at all. Not even in my physical journal, which makes me a bit curious.. and sad at the same time. Don't I have anything that I want to remember again one day? Have I got bored of talking to myself?
I have been writing notes to Encem, though. Well, I always have so there's nothing much new there.

Is it weird that I find myself more eloquent in writing? To the point that I have to WRITE to my own husband?
I don't know.. But I believe in sharing your thoughts with your spouse, be it good or bad, no matter how the mode of delivery is.

I find it SO important to be heard when we're not physically together a lot of the time. We're both bad at calling up each other. I'd text but he'll be sleeping. Then he'll text while I'm not in a wi-fi zone.
We're TERRIBLE apart, but absolutely present when together -- for the most part, anyway. It has always been that way since day one.
I suppose it just works out for us.

Anyway, Happy Eid Mubarak!
Believe it or not, I have yet seen my mother in-law this festive season. Roster's been vicious. My off days mostly clashes with Encem's. All in all, it just sucks. I had romanticised Raya with my in-laws.. Celebrating with my husband for the first time.
But what we got was a day off on the first of Raya and work on the very next evening! Of course, I was thankful and felt blessed for having that first day off -- with him around, even! And we did have fun at my sister's place and got our annual pictures sorted.

Although, if I'm being honest, I was looking forward to spending Raya with his family. Looked forward to feel a part of his family.
Oh well, hopefully next year we'll get to spend Raya with his side of the family. I can't believe I'm actually looking forward to be all awkward and quiet, and coming into homes that I haven't been to.
Obviously, I've changed. 

Work had been uneventful. There really is NOTHING new about work. Except that if I think about it too much, I get a little sad for the fact that nothing is new.
Getting bored, losing patience, it's turning into a "job".

Earlier this month I had a chat with a colleague whose been in the biz for almost twenty years. He was saying that nowadays he no longer have the patience to tell off passengers nicely. He'd just tell them off. I too, am starting to be that way unfortunately.
As I told him, we as cabin crew has grown over the years, evolved in some way -- but the passengers, customers are always the same. It gets tiring.

It's tiring to tell off passengers who wouldn't turn off their phones. It's tiring to ask them to buckle up their seatbelt. It's tiring to tell them to tell their children to buckle up. Tiring to hear them use me as the bad guy; "sayang duduk, nanti kakak marah.."

Naah, I won't get angry. But if your child's head hit the ceiling, or maybe falls to the floor, don't go looking for me. That's all.

Honestly, I don't mind walking around the cabin to remind everyone to be safe, do all you can to keep everyone safe. But hey, if you don't care about that, I'm not going to force you to it.
But I will remember your face.
In a case of emergency, know that I would give zero fucks to what happens to you.
And if I die because of you, I look forward to haunt you for the rest of your sorry life!

Oh wow, this entry is taking a turn into the darker side. Better stop now. heh

First of my two days off. I plan on being productive around the house. Laundry is in the washer. I vouch to not YouTube until I get all my chores done.
I can do it!!

'Til next time then.


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