Monday, October 09, 2017

"C-section is a major surgery"

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Well, I kinda need to keep saying that to myself.
Should probably say that to some of my family members as well! hahaha
Serves me right for braving a smile as I was wheeled out of the operating room, I guess.

So I gave birth to a not so little girl a little over a month ago -- explains why I haven't been updating this blog, yeah? It turned out to be a little bit of a drama, though. As you may have recalled, I was planning on a delivery as natural as possible. No thought of epidural, laughing gas or even getting induced.
All is already written, as I said to myself leading up to Nugget's birth. SO zen! *rolls eyes*

Check up at Week 40 involved CTG and an ultrasound. Nugget was fine and healthy, but still not engaged into my pelvis. The scan showed that her umbilical cord was near her neck but doctors could not confirm that it's around her neck, so there's no real reason to worry.
The doctor suggested that I get admitted that night and induce my labour anyway. Monkey and I were not crazy on the idea but Nugget was getting bigger by the day and thought perhaps we'll just see where this leads.
To be honest, I only agreed because Monkey had requested those days off and the idea that I might be in labour while he isn't around kinda worries me.

So we went home. Talked to family that we'll be "checking in" that night and that we'll update them if there is anything worth updating. While waiting to check in, Monkey made me walk around our apartment block and even took the stairs from LG4 to our apartment in fourth floor. That was torturous, but we had to try -- REALLY wasn't looking forward to getting induced!

Anyway, I hadn't felt any pain. No contractions to speak of. So we headed to Umra that night and so my labour story begins.
The nurse had asked me to change into my batik and wear a menstrual pad.
The doctor inserted the first Pitocin a little after 11PM. Nothing much happened after that. Monkey and I tried to get some sleep but every few hours we kept getting disturbed as the nurses were watching, monitoring my contractions and baby's heartbeat. Still nothing though. Baby was fine, my contractions were minimal.
So a little after six AM, the doctor came in again to insert the second Pitocin and only then I started to really feel the contractions.

At ten we saw the doctor. He saw the CTG results and did an ultrasound and told us he had no "good news" to tell us. Nugget was still in her previous position, nowhere near being engaged. CTG results were normal, nothing to be concerned about but he asked us to consider getting cesarian section.
We refused to decide then and gave ourselves time to see what happens.
At twelve I was hooked to a CTG machine again. The contractions had become stronger, uncomfortable but I wasn't in real pain. A doctor came in to check my opening and it was at 1-2cm but she said there is hope, we could try to wait it out for a few more hours and that's what we did.
At this time I haven't had anything to eat or drink since about 7, preparing for the possibility that I might have to get the C-sect anyway. So I was hooked to an IV; which had been the most unpleasant thing about the entire experience so far.

We went about with the day. Went back to my room to just chill and ride the contractions. My mom who had been there since morning went home to fetch some things and a little after lunch time Monkey brought his mom out for a meal after his brother dropped her off at the hospital.
So I was left all alone in my room.
Which was perfectly fine!
Until I needed to pee..

Because I had that IV tube, I tried to hold it in until I absolutely couldn't.. and as I got out of bed, I felt a balloon popped in me and a rush of water followed. At first I thought it was my pee and I failed to hold it in. hahhahaha! But it kept flowing and flowing that it made me think that the balloon was probably my amniotic fluid. So I grabbed the pole that had my bag of saline and manoeuvred myself into the toilet.
Slipped down my panties and hey-ho! My pad was soaked and it was green. Moss green. (Probably too gross to post a photo of it here, yeah?) So I threw my panties on the sink, peed and think of a million things;
Green -- not good!
Should I shout for the nurse?
Where the fuck is Monkey?!
And while I was cleaning after myself, Monkey and his mom came into the room so I shouted through the toilet door that my water broke.

Then I heard Monkey went back out, I came out from the loo and stood by my bed, not knowing what to do next. Monkey came back with a nurse who then saw the green soaked pad in the sink who then said something that sounded panicky. Not too long after that she came back saying that she called for the doctor and that I should lay back in bed.
The doctor came in, took a quick look at my pad and said that the baby has pooped inside. She checked my opening and there hadn't been any progress and said that we had no choice but go on the table.

This next part happened in a blur. I HATED the idea that I needed to be cut open.
Nurses came in and out. I got a Brazilian wax done for the "occasion" but a nurse came to shave me anyway. Then some lady came over with some papers for me to sign.
All the while Monkey and his mom were standing at a corner of the room pretty invisible to everyone but me.

Everyone was moving so fast. As I got changed, a nurse came along with a wheelchair then pushed me into the elevator leading to the floor with the labour rooms.
Monkey was not allowed into the operating room. So there I was, with my glasses handed to Monkey as it too was not allowed, half-blindly following whatever anyone had instructed me to do.

I was wheeled into a room where I was weighed, for the anaesthetic I assume.
Then walked into another room with the actual operating table. This part was an actual blur, literally but I remembered every bit pretty clearly. Not sure anyone would be interested to know how naked I felt in there, though so I think I'll just skip this part for another day. I must say that the anaesthecian did a fantastic job; I didn't feel the epidural going in at all!

Anyway, the whole thing was pretty fast. My water broke at 3 something, Nugget was born at half past four!
I was in a state of worry the whole time. It was not what I had anticipated. My right shoulder was somehow in a terrible pain and my everywhere else was freezing.

But I remembered Nugget's first cry. It was loud. It was clear. And the moment the doctor showed her to me I was swept with an overwhelming feeling of happiness.. and I was glad. It made no sense how one second I was worrying, then the very next second I was crying. I remembered even thinking, Why am I crying?! hahahahha
Then the doctor told me that the baby's umbilical cord was wrapped once around her neck.
It felt like I could cry again, mid-cry. I was so grateful that Nugget was safe.

Then I don't know what happened. The doctors had worked on me before closing me up, I assume but the next thing I know I was being wheeled out from the OR. Feeling really groggy, and saw my family's worried faces (my father's, in particular) and gave them a smile.

Damn, this entry is already too long.
Shall I continue some other time? There isn't much left to share except for the little bits in the hospital before I get discharged but you know how rambly I could get!

So that's it for now.
Believe it or not, I'd worked on this entry since three weeks ago! Having a baby really challenges your time management skills. Your time is no longer YOUR time.
At least my time anyway.

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Mini watermelon baby.

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Baby is staying put it seems. heehee.
Perhaps Nugget already understood the importance of keeping time, having flight attendants as parents.. bahahahha!
I'm getting a little anxious since Nugget's due date is just a week away. eeep!
I've been asked if I am ready..
Am I ready?

I'll be ready,
that's what I've been saying.
I've wrapped my head around the idea of PAIN. Absolutely no idea of how much pain, but I know there will be pain involved -- and honestly, talking or reading about them hasn't been helping much.
Every pregnancy is different. Every labour is different. You can read up on thousands of stories and yours may not be the same as any of them.
So, I'll be ready.
Whenever the baby is ready.. I'll be ready. Hopefully. hahahha!

Check-up in Hospital Umra since Week 37 had involved fifteen minutes session of cardiotocography (CTG). Basically the technician attached two circular thingamajig on my abdomen where one detects the baby's heartbeat while the other monitors my contraction -- which there had been none. hahahha!

The doctor had suggested that I take more walks and do some half squats since Nugget hasn't engaged into position. Not that it's crucial, some babies engages into the pelvis just before labour. So I'm not particularly worried.
But she did mention about the possibility of having my labour induced if Nugget refuses to come out even a couple of days post due date. sigh. I hope we wouldn't come to that.

I am really hoping for a delivery that is as natural as possible.
Honestly, some days I feel so zen about this whole thing.
Everything has been written, after all. Physically, there isn't much that I can do, right?

Really looking forward to meeting Nugget!
We are actually counting days, now.
..but my hospital bag is not even ready yet! HAHAHHA!

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Swiss chard baby.

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What is in Nugget's hospital bag?

So I got around to put together the hospital bag specifically for the baby. I decided to do a separate bag so no one had to rummage around one big bag to find one particular thing. Plus, I haven't bought everything that I wanted to bring for myself so I'll just sort Nugget's first.
It's nice to at least check one of the tasks off the list.

As previously discussed, since we bought the Doona carseat/stroller, we ended up getting the All Day Bag in Storm (Grey) as the diaper bag for Nugget.


The bag itself is actually quite roomy. I'd say it's like a small duffle bag that comes with a detachable insulated bottle case and a changing mat. There are two zippered compartment on the sides big enough to fit in a bottle. The zip in front and the top gives access to the main compartment. Then there's another zippered compartment on the back, wide enough to fit in a standard paperback.


So the first thing I packed were baby's changing necessities;
Changing mat -- which came with the bag
Newborn diapers -- it's probably too much, but I packed ten!
Wet wipes
Nappy sacks -- because I'm just extra.

I don't necessarily have a particular preference to Mothercare's products; I've never actually used any of them but I liked the look of the pack's closure, so that's why I got them in the first place. (Also, they were on sale when I got them!)

As for the diapers, there were two school of thought, if I may call it that. Some told me to just get any cheap brands as the baby will need to be changed every so often, while some told me to get a good brand to prevent leakage -- and having to change them every so often. hahahha!

So I got the ones by Mamy Poko. Naturally.
🙄


Moving on to textiles(?);
A receiving blanket -- soft enough, light enough to keep baby in a nice temperature (hopefully) where it won't be too warm or too cold.
Muslin swaddle -- to keep Nugget snug and tight! I have two here in case one got soiled, or I could use one as a nursing cover or to cover the carseat from the sun while in the car.
Washcloth -- a couple of them to wipe any possible mess.

As I've washed these prior to packing them, I've gotta say that IKEA's brand does NOT wash well. At all. I didn't mind much on the washcloths but the blanket came in a pack of three and they all shrunk into different sizes! hahahaha!
It was annoying and amusing at the same time..


And this is the part where I got SUPER extra, can't help myself;
Baby's clothes -- five pairs of them, because.. options!

Of course I'm hoping that we won't be in the hospital for too long that we'll need to use all five outfits.

As you can see, I've put each outfit into individual ziploc bags and took the time to draw on the bags to indicate what's in it. Yes. Totally extra.
But I figured that I won't be dressing Nugget for the first few times. Most probably it's going to be the nurses or Monkey or my mom, so I wouldn't want them to make a mess of things or get frustrated trying to find the right pair of top and bottom.

Since my sister in law gave birth a few weeks ago, I found out that nurses would prefer to dress babies in buttoned tops as they are just easier to get into. So I got a couple of basic white tops from Mothercare that are fastened with velcro! Sounds like a breeze, eh?

Seriously, I'm glad that I didn't start shopping for baby's clothes so early during the pregnancy..
Now that I've start, I don't think I can stop!!


Some random bits;
A pack of face tissues, because my mom said to just chuck one in.
A couple of ziploc bags -- to chuck soiled washcloths.. or something. It's not like they take much space anyway.
A hand sanitizer -- I reckon it'll be useful in some way or another.


I'd like to think I've got it all covered -- baby bag wise.
I've gone through a couple of checklists on the internet and the one Nina shared with me and I'm pretty sure it's all set. I've cross-checked with my mom and shown her what I have in the bag and apart from the facial tissues, she too can't think of anything else to add.

So yeah, I think baby bag is ready! Woop woop!

Wednesday, August 02, 2017

I'm not a Hoarder.

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..or at least I try to not be one!

Here's a sad story.. my sisters and I see our mom as one. She really likes to keep things in case one day she'll needs it. That includes the free t-shirts she got from her company back in 2007. My parents live in a two-bedroom flat. I've stayed there for the most of my life, but I never had friends come over or visit me during celebrations because there really isn't much space with my mom's things lying around.

I mean, we joke about it a lot.. it's not like it tainted my childhood or anything. But some days I do wonder why she's holding on so hard to her things. I would've understood it better had she actually bought all of those things. I find it hard to let go of the things that I had bought with my own money.. or things that has some sentimental value in it.
My mom hold on to things for the sake of holding on to them, it seems.

Aaanyway, why am I telling you this?
Because as I've mentioned in my quick entry some time last month, I had spent one morning sorting through my make up collection and posted it on my Instagram Stories. Managed to trash a hefty amount. I was glad and proud albeit a little sad to be parting ways with a bunch of my favourite things..
So my mom saw that story and texted me; "don't throw out those makeup, keep it in one place and I'll play around with it when I'm there.."
*smacks forehead*
I threw them all out anyway. Despite my mom trying to convince me that the powders stuff should still be good -- as if I'm letting her keep my four-year old blushes! She would never throw them out and just add them to the mound of makeup that she already own.


That was a lot of makeup. It was brutal but it had to be done. I had to.


The first ones to go were the palettes. I realise that they don't look too battered and manky to get thrown out but the most recent I have here is the Urban Decay Naked 3 palette and I got that in 2013! ..and that palette was meant to be used within a year.
It was hard letting go of the two limited edition Nars palette. Remembering vividly that I ordered the Guy Bourdin One Night Stand palette off of the Sephora US site, and the Voulez-vous Coucher Avec Moi, Ce Soir? palette on a rainy day in Taipei. All before any news of Nars ever coming into Malaysia..
Then there were the three Sleek Makeup i-Divine palettes in Oh So Special, Vintage Romance and Ultra Matts V2. I truly loved them. They were really pigmented and still blendable. They were affordable too, and I wouldn't mind getting them again if I'm not so smitten by other brands at the time being.


On to the face stuff. I threw out the Farmasi highlighter that I rarely ever use as it was really chunky. Bourjois Healthy Balance powder that I bought in Hong Kong's Watsons yeaarsss before they came into Malaysia, and Tarte Amazonian Clay blush in Mirage that came in some sort of a set. If you look closely, the blush actually had some sort of life form on it.. yikes!

I also threw out my tube of Nars Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturizer in Groenland. It had a little left in the tube but it exploded in my make-up bag a while back and never been the same since. I also threw out a deluxe sample of Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer that I tried to love but after years of holding on to it, it just never sit quite right on my skin. Another item that I don't think I've used ten times since I got it probably two years ago was the Bobbi Brown Corrector in of the Peach shades. Despite being matched in the store, that thing was just TOO orange on my skin and creased SO BAD under my eyes! It just refused to work for me, and I refused to hold on to it any longer.


As for the eyes, I threw out three mascaras; Benefit Roller Lash, which I loved and has dried up, Tarte Lights, Camera, Lashes, which did nothing for my lashes at all! Would NOT repurchase. And Urban Decay Perversion which performed pretty well on my lashes.

Then there were three brow products; Benefit Gimme Brow in Medium, which I didn't love, smelled like old make up ever since I first got it, and was just not worth the money in my opinion. Then there was the Mary Kay clear brow gel that my mom gave me which was like glue.. literally. (Not what I prefer for my brows..) Lastly was an old favourite, In-2-It waterproof brow pencil that I'd recently took out from my "backup stash" and gave me a nice pimple on my left brow when I used it. Clearly I've kept it for far too long. hahahha!


Then I have some primers (that I rarely ever use) that I finally got rid of. I really can't review on any of them since I really didn't notice if they did anything for me on the rare occasions that I used them. Except for the eye primers. Both the Urban Decay Primer Potion in Original and Nars Pro-Prime Eyeshadow Base helped my eyeshadows to stay looking good on my eyelids for longer, but personally between the two I'd prefer Nars because it felt so light whereas I could feel the one by UD on my lids.

Two random things I threw out; Duo eyelash glue that I probably use less than five times (hahaha!) and a random tester of Hydraluron serum(?) which I liked but never gotten the full size because it's damn expensive!! This had a teeny tiny bit left but not enough for me to use on my full face and I don't know why I kept it for so long.
The eyelash glue worked well, by the way. Didn't feel funny on my eyes or anything. I'm just not a fake eyelash wearer and the cap was glued shut so I just didn't bother to salvage the rest of the tube's content. (If it hadn't actually dried up.)


Finally we have lippies and liners which was the hardest to let go. Notice that I didn't part ways with ANY of my Nars lipstick? I just refuse to throw them out until they start giving me a bad reaction! hahahha!

EOS lip balm that I bought when it was all the rave on YouTube some years ago. Kept it for far too long. It wasn't even that good. Didn't really help with my constantly dry lips.
Then there's Origins and MAC lipgloss that I didn't care for. Just not into glosses. And these two were really thick and kinda made my lips stuck together. I loved Too Faced Melted Liquid Lipsticks but I've had them for far too long, I believe. Used to REALLY love Clinique Chubby Stick Intense but I've accepted the fact that they weren't very moisturising for my lips, for what it's supposed to do. Loved the colours though. The final lip balm was the Tarte Energy Noir that transforms from clear to a berry shade. Didn't love it as much as the original Energy lip balm somehow. Same as the rest of the lip products, I threw it out because I've had it for way too long.

Finally we're at the lip liners and eye liners. Loved the lip liners by Sleek Makeup and NYX. They were both smooth and didn't tug on the lips. Then we have the eyeliners by Nars, NYX and Urban Decay which were all good. Although I probably prefer the ones by UD best. Depends on the kind of day I'm having, I think. The ones by UD were softer and easier to put on, but they didn't stay as well as the ones by Nars, but those are a little harder and tugs the eye a little sometimes. The one by NYX was soft too but as you can see, I had it in a shade of green so I never really use it and I honestly cannot remember the last time I actually did.

So that's it!
You've survived an entire post of me rambling about the makeup I've put in the trash last month. Thanks for staying put. Hope you've somehow enjoyed this entry.
I probably won't have anything fun to write apart from my pregnancy now that I'm so close to the end of it. I'll try to write as much of it (or anything) as I can.

'Til next time!

Monday, July 31, 2017

Romaine lettuce kid.

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Checkup is once a week now.
The one I had on Thursday at Umra took fifty minutes. We took the usual; blood pressure, weight and urine test. I've officially gained TEN kilos since I got pregnant!
Did an ultrasound of the baby and the doctor estimated that Nugget will be about 3.1 to 3.3 kilos at birth!
😱

There I was lying in the bed with my belly out, eyes wide.. thinking that my siblings and I were less than 3 kilos when we were born and Kina's kids were also less than that.
The kind doctor reassured me that it's a normal weight, considering my height and Monkey's.
Also, when I told my sisters, Kina said that all her kids were born at least two weeks ahead of their due date. And yeah, my mom is petit.. just a wee over five feet.
Still.. got me nervous. I don't feel that big, though.

I won't be seeing my nurse at the health clinic for the time being. She said that if Umra is seeing me on the same week as our supposed appointment, I could just skip it since I'm planning to deliver in Umra anyway. She just reminded me that once I give birth, Monkey should come over to the clinic with the letter from the hospital and my pink book to inform them.
We'll talk more on that once we get to that point since I don't really know how's the flow for that one.

I am now suddenly freaking out over losing ten kilos after giving birth!
Yikes!
And I still have some weeks to go.. I will be putting on more weight, still.
Eeep!!
Okay, let's not dwell on this. I doubt it'll be good for me or the baby. We'll let future-W deal with it. Currrent-W is stressing over some other stupid things at the moment.

Like how I've been trying to be productive but always end up curling in bed.
Monkey had done such a good job around the house, cleaning and rearranging the household for my parents and soon, Nugget. He swept and mopped the floor, cleaned the bathroom, washed some previously-hidden kitchenware -- he's been.. incroyable.
All I'm supposed to do now is those tiny little things that I should be able to do, like wipe our old books and put them back in the bookshelf. haihh..

Monkey is on a long ass trip. The longest we've been apart since we got married. Mind you, it's only been two days and it already feels like weeks somehow! Pregnancy is making me extra clingy, perhaps. One more week before I get to see my main man.

Went to the baby expo in Midvalley on Saturday with Dida and my mom. Felt bad for dragging them along but I was SO grateful that they were there. We got there at noon and the crowd was murderous. I had a pretty short list of things to get since I'd went to get the bigger things during the expo in May.
So we got to the first booth, paid for what I'd wanted to get and the promoter said that I needed to wait for an hour -- which was fine, since I'd other booths to hit up so we'll come back.
Second booth had a short queue, which wasn't bad at all and the promoter was pretty attentive and helpful. Didn't take long at all.
Then at the third booth, things didn't make any sense at all.. The line was disorganised and so SO long! Dida said that I could go ahead and queue up, they don't mind waiting.
But I DO!

Told them I needed to cool off. I needed an ice blended.
So we made our way to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf! hahahhaha!

After the much needed lunch, I made my way back into the expo and queue up at that third booth but with a much calmer attitude. The magic of a caramel ice blended!
While I was in line, Dida had ditched our mom at one of the poles outside with my previous purchase while she offered to collect the item from the first booth.
Anyway, I am happy to say that I pretty much got everything that I think I need for the baby that day!
(Dida so kindly drove me to Mothercare in Subang Parade after we dropped off Mama at home so I could get some bits and bobs that I had set my heart on getting. FYI, the Mothercare store in The Curve and Midvalley Megamall are closed for renovation.. or something.)

As we are approaching August..
I should really start to assemble my hospital bag!
Aaahhhhh.. this is getting SO real by the minute!

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Honeydew-sized baby.

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We're at the homestretch of this pregnancy and I am having mixed feelings.
Doesn't help that my emotions have been all over the place for the past week.
I blame the stress; of having to do a LOT of things around the house before the baby's arrival.
The guilt of letting Monkey do most of the things around the house because I get so easily tired and sleepy lately.
I am in that nesting mode, but damn it I'd rather be napping than sorting out the rooms!

The smallest room now is a total mess. My parents had brought over the spare mattress from their home for when they're staying over so I've been trying to clear out my closet from the small room to move it into the middle room so they could use it later. Does that make sense, by the way?
Monkey and I have SO many clothes! It makes absolutely NO SENSE when we keep wearing the same things over and over anyway!
We really need to sort that out.

Then we also need to do some more shopping for the baby and my parents! I mean, my parents hadn't actually asked for anything, but they're going to stay over and help out without me actually asking, so the least I could do is prepare the rooms and their basic amenities.
As for the baby stuff.. Monkey will be outstation at the end of this month so I'll be flying solo (again!) to the baby expo. pfft! Not too crazy about that after the stupid incident where I fell near a staircase earlier this month.

It was embarrassing, really. I was in Bangsar, going down the short steps while looking around for my Uber and not holding on to the handrail. (I normally just.. don't -- bacterias, ick!) Then at the last step I somehow sort of lost my footing and fell to my knees! People were looking, but none came to help. Then again, I got up so fast and pretty much immediately saw my Uber and walked towards it. Kinda funny, kinda grateful. Kinda painful too where my knees got most of the impact and I somehow grazed the top of my foot.
I got a little worried for a while but Nugget kicked me as if nothing happened, so we're fine..

Monkey kinda banned me from going out alone after that. Not sure if he's serious but Dida approved of the ban. pfft!

Anyway, I'm at Week 35. Kinda nuts when I think about it! Where did all the time went?! To think that babies will be fine if they were born on the 36th week. Not sure if I'll be fine, though! Good God, I hope Nugget will let me enjoy the kicks for a couple more weeks. I really do feel that I will miss that the most. Even though it can get uncomfortable at times.
Funny thing is, Nugget really acts up when there's just me; kicking and stretching like there's no tomorrow. But as soon as Monkey or someone else puts their hand over my belly, Nugget will immediately stop! Or kick a little less.
Seriously.. this cheeky baby..

I am definitely feeling.. large.
Not fat, though. Although I have gained nine kilograms since I got pregnant! I pray that I'll be able to shed them off once Nugget is born.

Recently I went to get a 5D scan of the baby. Not that there's any NEED for it. To be honest, I feel like Nugget has been getting scanned so so much, it's really unnecessary. But I am extra.. I wanted a 5D print of the baby..
If/when I get pregnant again in the future, I'll probably have a scan for that first time when I find out, NT scan in week eleven or twelve, detailed scan around week twenty-four and then perhaps a 5D when the baby is around week thirty**. I mean, of course.. I've been getting so many scans throughout this pregnancy because I get my check-ups in two places. The government clinic had wanted to keep a close eye on me as I'd been a smoker while Umra's procedure basically scans patients in every visit.
I do hope that there really isn't any effect on the baby from getting so many ultrasounds!

**I got mine at Week 33. Personally, I went there to get a clear picture of Nugget's tiny face for the journal I'm writing. It's not advisable to go so late during the pregnancy as the baby will be too large and crammed in the womb, so you might not be able to see the baby's face clearly. I got mine alright. Then again Nugget was just about 2.5kg then.

I dread the idea of going back to work.
Still not missing it!
A friend (who isn't in the biz) wondered how I manage to not miss it even a bit. Told her that I miss the perks of shopping outside. And my own money, of course. heehee. But I don't miss the job. I really don't.
Don't get me wrong, the job isn't boring. But if I could find something else where I don't have to sit all day, be around my family more and still keep my livelihood as it was, I'll happily quit from being a cabin crew.

Anak tak lahir lagi, dah terkena dah syndrom mak mak..

I don't know..
Perhaps I'll change my mind once I hear Nugget's first cry. heh. I am SO looking forward to actually hold the baby and just bond.. but at the same time I'm afraid of not wanting to ever let 'em go.
I hope I'll be fine. I hope we'll all be fine..

I should probably start packing my hospital bag. Maybe I'll do that next week. I'm in no rush. I don't think Nugget is too.

I feel like I'm coming down with something. Just the other day I was thinking to myself that I'd been relatively healthy throughout this pregnancy. Not a single flu or sniffles. Well, I kinda sorta did sometime during the first trimester but it wasn't enough for me to consider even taking a Panadol and it probably lasted just two days. I do remember taking warm water with honey for a couple of times and felt fine after. Never sick enough to report to my nurse or doctor.
Anyway.. my point is, I've been feeling kinda crappy this past two days! Like.. the heck? I'd been so proud and impressed to the point that I wish I could've high-fived lil' Nugget! But I am currently having some sort of a sore throat and a little dry cough. Still not enough to report to my nurse or doctor, but it's uncomfortable.
Hoping it'll go away soon.

Monday, July 24, 2017

I Covet Thee..

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You know what.. the thing is, I feel like I haven't been splurging for myself for SO long that now whenever I see something remotely nice, I'd make a mental note of it and they're suddenly on my wishlist.
I just threw out a bunch of makeup (yes, I know I said I was going to blog about that whole ordeal, believe me it's coming, but it's turning out to be so looong that I got bored mid way so I had to put that aside for a bit) but here I am.. wanting.. coveting some more makeup.

Let's start off with some new things by NARS, because who will I be if I don't start out with them? heh.


Here we have the new Powermatte Lip Pigment which is a matte liquid lipstick by Nars. I mean, most of you probably know my obsession with Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick by now, so when I got word that Nars had came out with a liquid lipstick, you know.. I am just going to have to try it!

By the way, Sephora Malaysia finally has the new shades of the KVD liquid lipsticks and lip pencils! I'm torn.. I'm torn..
Nars also released a special Velvet Matte Lip Pencil set for Nordstrom. There are two sets of four limited edition shades; Mustang comes with four red, bold shades while Tribulation has four nude, neutral shades. Now, do I need four almost similar shades of matte lipsticks? Of course not, but that doesn't stop me from WANTING them, does it? hahahha!


Then I don't know how, or why Hourglass always ends up in my wishlist, but I saw the Confession Ultra Slim High Intensity refillable lipstick and I just want it. Obviously it's the packaging, but damn! hahahha! Perhaps I'm attracted to them because they seem as dangerous as Christian Louboutin's lipsticks but I know I can never justify buying those!
Hourglass on the other hand, seem achievable. We'll see how it goes. I still have my thoughts on the GIRL Lip Stylos.

The fact that I threw out a couple of palettes while I was spring cleaning (you'll know once I finish the post I promised..) means that I now have room for some new palettes! (yayy!)
I was sort of on a palette no-buy and I've been pretty good so far. I mean, last year I only bought that NARS Jetsetter face palette if I remember correctly.
Since I've been keen on warm tones, it's only natural that I'd be drawn to the new Urban Decay Naked Heat palette! But my eyes aren't only drawn to that palette..
I am also eyeing the new Marc Jacobs Eye-conic Multi-finish eyeshadow palette in Scandalust.
I think they're both equally gorgeous and if the new Marc Jacobs palettes are anything like the ones they've had before, I reckon they're going to feel really awesome. There will be a price difference, I'm sure but I'm pretty keen on trying out something new!

No idea if I'll ever get to put away my wishlists. The things that are on my previous wishlist are still very much on the list! In a way I am proud for not going out immediately and get anything and everything that I want. It's almost like I can now prioritise! HAHAHAHA!

Oh well, I do see myself splurging some bits when I'm finally going back to work. It's kind of a psychological thing. Like those times in school days, you'll be excited about going back to school after the long holidays when you know you've got a spanking new pair of white shoes and new coloured pens and stationeries, right?
I will be needing that kind of incentive after this long of a break from work..

Thursday, July 20, 2017

The Third Trimester.

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Well. I suppose what's annoying about the third trimester is having to keep track of the baby's movements and kicks. Or at least there's a page in the pink book where expectant mothers are supposed to jot down baby's ten movements from 9 AM, and we should be alarmed if we couldn't feel those ten kicks in the span of twelve hours. (9 AM 'til 9 PM basically.)

But.. I mean.. during the fasting month.. I only fall asleep after suhur.. I can't be expected to wake up at nine just to count Nugget's kicks! huhuu..
It's fine, though.. Nugget basically kicks a little extra around 3 PM and 5 PM. Probably kicking me to get some food but it's fine.

I've been preferring sitting down or standing than laying down anywhere. Turning my body in any way was getting hard. Between the size of my belly and the aches and pains I've been having, turning to my side, or getting out of bed has been a feat.

Experienced my first swollen feet some nights ago. Thought to myself.. "this is it; goodbye tiny feet." (I'm a size UK 4, believe it or not.) Then I woke up the next day with my feet looking as normal as ever. Feels like it might be because I had been in the car for too long the previous day. Hubs and I had spent four hours lounging at his friend's house then spent three hours travelling back from Kuantan.
Swollen feet was alarming. It didn't feel like anything at all but they looked.. SO weird! Kinda reminded me of an elephant's foot! hahahahha!
I showed them to Monkey and he too was amused.

My ninth check up at the health clinic at Week 31(ish) took two hours. Got there a little after nine AM and spent most my time there just waiting for my number. It took almost an hour before I got my number called to get my Hb checked and my urine tested.

Took another fifty minutes before my nurse saw me and called me to come into the nurses' room -- and basically cut the queue, actually! hahahha! She said she didn't know the two ladies that are supposed to be ahead of me.. hahahha! Suppose it was unfair, but still it amused me.

Anyway, she reminded me to have a balanced diet and a little extra extra since my Hb hadn't increased since my last visit. As per normal, she then carried on with measuring the fundal height (she measured my belly to check the height of my uterus to see the foetal growth,) and checked on baby's heartbeat which came out normal.

Check up in Umra went on like every other check up except that they did a vaginal swab of my discharge to get them tested for any unwanted bacterias that could affect the baby.
Not sure if this gets done at the government health clinic (I'll check with my nurse the next time I see her, if I remember it!) but apparently it's quite a common test that gets done on an expectant mother as she gets closer to her due date.

I'm getting my check up every two weeks now that I've past Week 30 of pregnancy. Honestly I find it annoying to have to get to the clinic/hospital every so often! hahahha!
At least my visits are getting shorter though. Took just a little over an hour at the health clinic the other day. (Pretty sure because my "appointment" was set at ten AM anyways.) I was also really stoked that my Hb spiked since the last visit. Probably because Ramadhan was over so at least I've been eating normally again. (Hadn't really increased on those leafy greens, cockles and internal organs that were supposed to help with increasing the red blood cells! heehee)

Interestingly though, I'd gained 1.6 kg in the span of fifteen days! I mean, third trimester is really when the baby just gets beefed up before popping out, but 1.6! That seemed a LOT!

My check-ups just got really shorter these days. There isn't much to do once I get to see the doctor or nurse. My check up in Umra at Week 34 didn't even take half an hour! I got there at 11:35AM, paid our bill at 11:57! It was really quick. Just did the routine weight, BP and urine then have a little scan of the baby.

Then my most recent check-up at the health clinic took almost two hours -- because of the wait, really. Just like the previous check-up. We talked about baby's movements, my Hb; since it dropped again, nothing much. I feel like most times I'm there we'd chat about random little things that I observe around the clinic.
By the way, I forgot to ask my nurse about the vaginal swab in government clinics. *smacks forehead*

Note on third trimester:
1. It's annoying to track baby's movement, honestly. Annoying when you take it really seriously and truly jot down the time of baby's tenth movement. I honestly didn't start my time at 9:00 AM as I was supposed to, but I know my baby. Nugget's always most active around the same time so I wasn't worried.
Honestly I don't think it's TOO important to get your time "right" as long as you are aware of the baby's movement. You should know when the baby hadn't moved for a while or moving too too much. It's good that the baby is active, but there's that concern for their umbilical cord to get tangled around them if they moved too much.
2. As much as my Hb worries me, my nurse isn't too bothered it seemed. Said that my Hb seemed to be playing around the same numbers and it hadn't dropped to the point of "worry" just yet. She mentioned that a woman lost about 400 to 500 ml of blood during labour so if my Hb had dropped to anywhere around eight or nine, then we all should worry! hahaha

Alright, I don't think there will be a "second part" of my third trimester. I will still share some bits of what's left of this pregnancy, though. I'm just not going to compile it like I have done here and throughout this pregnancy series, if we could call it that.
Leave me a comment if you have any questions -- that you think I could answer. hahahaha

Oooh.. my feelings are all over the place right now!

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Insta-stories.

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Basically, here's what's coming in the next couple of days.. (--or weeks..?)


(In case the video doesn't show on your browser, as it didn't on mine 😓 it's my Instagram Stories of me trashing some of my beloved makeup..)

Saturday, July 08, 2017

What's In My Handbag?

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-- pregnancy edition!


I've been ditching my trusted Rebecca Minkoff Mini M.A.C for a slightly larger bag since probably March, I wanna say. With the amount of things that I was carrying -- or wanted to carry, my Mini M.A.C simply couldn't handle it.

So I began my quest, searching for the right sized bag that I wouldn't hate carrying. I had considered getting one of the diaper bags that I'd been reading up on, but they were way too big for pre-baby. I was very keen to get one of those Longchamp that had the shoulder strap, but hey.. I'm on unpaid leave so I shouldn't be spending Monkey's hard-earned cash willy-nilly! hahahha.

Then one day Mumu brought me out to Pyramid and we randomly went into the Converse store and saw this black PU leather shoulder bag.
It looked super simple. It has a pocket slip in front, and a zippered main compartment.


Didn't take long for me to decide to just get it. I knew I could fit my pink book in it somehow and that's good enough for me! The size was right, also it was on offer that day so I got it for RM90! bahhahaha I'm cheap!
Well, it suit its purpose and though carrying a Converse bag immediately reminds me of my time in high school, I have no complains!

So we'll start from what I have in the front pocket;


I've got my pink book -- which isn't there everyday, but it was on the day that I took the pictures for this entry. I have it in a clear plastic folder so it wouldn't get wet in case water gets to it somehow.
Then I have a hotel writing pad, in case I'd like to jot down some stuff. Shopping lists, most of the time.
That red thing is a bluetooth remote for taking photos with your phone. Not that I whip it out a lot but I've had plenty of times when I'm without it but wished that I had.
I've got an old, faded and tangled long necklace that I got from Lovisa.
A Dolly Dim Sum voucher that I should've used when I was there just few days ago with a friend, but forgotten that I had it with me.
A Shah Alam parking booklet so hubs and I don't get fined during our check-ups in Umra, and random.. SO random stirrers from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf and fruit-fork thingamajig that I'd trashed as soon as I was done taking the pictures for this entry.

On to the things that are in the main compartment. Let's start with the "beauty" bits;


Monkey bought me a few packs of wet wipes in case I needed to wipe down toilet seats while I'm outside, and in that small Kate Spade jewellery pouch is where I keep the actual girly things.


That samurai thing is actually one of those stainless steel mirrors.
The non-make up bits are Soap & Glory anti-bacterial hand gel in the Sugar Crush scent, ReNu rewetting eyedrops, and another super random thing that I just happen to carry; a March Harriet minifigure from the Lego Batman Movie.
As for the actual make up, I am still carrying way too many lipsticks for one handbag! I've got Soap & Glory Sexy Mother Pucker Matte-Lip in Chocco Berry, Shu Uemura Supreme Matte lipstick in PK376, Maybelline Color Drama lipstick in Pink So Chic and NARS Matte Lip Pencil in Bahama, Provocative Red and Dragon Girl. Three of Nars.. Of course.


Practical things! My customised Touch 'N Go card that Dida made me and Nina a while back  heh. My extremely battered Rebecca Minkoff small purse where I keep my money. And two card holders from Fossil that holds my IDs, insurance card and bank cards while the one by Kate Spade holds my memberships and point cards.


Some bits that I can't categorise; I have a slim Lenovo powerbank that I've probably just used twice since I changed phones. I'm mostly carrying it in case Monkey needs to recharge his phone now. Then there's a hotel pen, my Rayban, a split cable for headphones.. in case I'm pulling a "Begin Again" scene with Monkey. hahahha!
A lighter!.. a force of habit. heh
And a foldable shopping bag I got for free from buying some Origins skincare. Well, my shopping bag changes every so often. Previously I was carrying one from Lululemon but I just had to threw that out after an incident I had carrying rendang from Dida's place. Tried to wash it, but that totally ruined the bag. It was upsetting.. I loved that bag!

Now on to the things that made this a pregnant lady's bag;


My Joseph Joseph water bottle because I'm supposed to drink three litres of water a day.. hah! I try.. I try.. (haven't succeeded as yet, unfortunately.)
A bag of Farley's Rusk cookies, because why not? I love the taste! hahahaha! A small ziploc bag of dates and raisins.. because basically, I'd hate to go hungry or thirsty.
Lastly, I have some back up Iberet because I HATE being outside then suddenly remember that I hadn't taken my supplements. Usually happens when Monkey and I were at his mom's place in Puncak Alam.

And that's all there is in my bag!
Sorry the photos are kinda crap. Could've taken them again but it was getting really warm on the balcony where I was taking these photos and I just couldn't stand it for too long. hahahha!

Thursday, July 06, 2017

Emotions running wild.

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I wasn't really surprised that I'll be such a mess emotionally throughout this experience.
I mean, I don't exactly trust my feelings even before I got pregnant. But some days, I get a little overwhelmed that it's almost embarrassing.

These days I find that I cry to love songs.
I mean.. come on!
I used to get melancholic when I hear really sad songs. They really spoke to my soul. Happy, love songs are just.. fine, to me. I appreciate them all the same, made me smile sometimes.. but I don't cry to them!

Lately though.. I can't even sing along to these happy love songs!!!!
Everytime I start, my voice gets stuck in my throat, then my eyes start to water. If I try to push through, it'll just turn on the waterworks for a full minute.
(eg. Sara Bareilles - I Choose You)

I don't even understand it, but I just somehow get incredibly overwhelmed. SO overwhelmed that only tears could get me through, apparently.
Surprisingly sad songs doesn't affect me in any way anymore. hahahha!

Sunday, July 02, 2017

To splurge.. or not?

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I am the type of person who likes having back-ups. More so of my favourite things.
When it comes to beauty, I find that there are only a few things that I refuse to skip out on.

Since I haven't had to put on a full face of make-up for a while now, it just got even more obvious when it comes to what I NEED and what I don't really care for.
It may not come as a surprise, but what I need are eyebrows! I don't step out of the house without them. I can ignore my dark circles.. and my pale lips..  but I simply cannot ignore my barely-there eyebrows.

So here's a little story. I haven't been with my favourite Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz for monthhsss now. I've tried Benefit's Precisely, My Brow and was not entirely impressed. Loved the colour of Shade 3 but I feel like it ran out too fast. I found an unused In2It brow pencil that I used to LOVE so much (a back-up that I never got around to use, go figure!) but I think it had went bad because a spot popped up in my brows the very next day! hahahha

I've also tried the brow pencil by Anastasia but I feel like it is waay too pigmented for my liking and I  really do prefer a thin nib for my brows.
Recently I've used up the brow pencil by It Cosmetics and similarly to Anastasia's brow pencil, it's very pigmented and most of the time I'd end up with harsh brows -- for something out of a pencil. Also, the spoolie at the end was not that great.

Currently I am using my Tarte Amazonian Clay brow mousse -- that is about three years old and incredibly dried up. hahahha! I am feeling super stingy at the moment, can you see?
I do worry that it's going to give me a pimple to my already sensitive skin since I've been pregnant so I have been contemplating to just go ahead and repurchase a Brow Wiz. Oh, how I miss it.

Then as I was going through my make-up collection, somehow I found an Urban Decay Brow Beater still new in box! When the hell did I bought that, I had no idea! hahahha! Made me feel a little better for not having to fork out RM100 on a brow pencil -- also thankful for my silly habit for keeping back-ups of things. hehe.
Now the question remains.. will this back-up give me a pimple? hahahha!! Guess we'll find out in a couple of days. Suppose if it does I'll just bit the bullet and purchase a Brow Wiz. Hopefully I won't have to, though. I have other things on an actual list that I need to get.

God knows how glad I am to have a brow pencil at hand, though! The brow mousse was fine, but if ever I'm travelling (like I was in Kuantan -- when I found out that the It Cosmetics pencil had come to its end!) I much prefer a thin-nib pencil that has a spoolie on its other end.

I am currently staring at my makeup collection.. thinking that I should really have a clear out very soon. (Apart from finally washing ALL of my brushes!) I reckon I haven't used most of them for over six months. I know I need to throw out a couple of mascaras. Probably get rid some of my lippies too. Wish I knew how I could clean NARS' packaging! Mine are all sticky and dusty.. ick!

The other day I found out that my skin shade has changed. I was putting on concealer and two that I have was waayy too yellow on me!
I probably need to buy a whole set of my base makeup when I go back to work in a few months.
Kinda excited.. kinda sad..
Mostly sad that I have to say goodbye to some makeup in the next few days.

I mean.. I really shouldn't still be holding on to the Nars palette that I got in 2013.. right?

Monday, June 19, 2017

Pregnancy Woes

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When I created this blog, I never meant it to be anything specific.
Not when I was still in school, not when I was crazy about my work, and not even now that I'm pregnant.
But I feel like I've been almost distant while I'd been writing about my pregnancy. Suppose it's mostly because in my mind, I had wanted to share "informations" instead of "feelings" so.. that's what happened.

So here's an entry where I'll yap and ramble random things about my pregnancy!
Beware!

This entry in particular will focus on my complaints while carrying this lil' bub.
(May sound negative, but helpful -- I swear!) You have no idea (or maybe you do?) how reassuring it is when you found someone else who shares the same problems as you do! hahahha

I'll say that my pregnancy hasn't been too hard so far. There were some bits of change and "woes" throughout, but I didn't get that typical morning sickness that people tend to talk about.
I did feel gassy through Weeks five 'til about eleven.
My skin had definitely changed, I was getting spots on my chin and cheeks. I also have tiny bumps all over my forehead that looks not too different from baby's heat rash.

Oh! Constipation! Apparently it's really common, and a real bitch. Constipation whilst pregnant is a real thing, folks!
And since I've been taking iron for supplement, my stool has turned black! That was.. amusing, when it first happened. More so when I had diarrhoea that one time. hahahha!

Then there's back pain while travelling for too long in the car. That lasted throughout the first trimester. Wasn't so bad as I entered the twelfth week somehow.
But constantly feeling like a walking heater.. that hasn't gone away unfortunately. Wish I could wear sleeveless all day everyday! Even cuddling with Monkey felt so uncomfortable some days.

Second trimester brought in some new hardship.
The gassiness went away, but I started getting posterior pelvic pain at around week twenty. I try SO hard to hold out 'til I really have to waddle but I'm afraid I started early in that area.
It felt like my butt cheeks were out of place.. like how sometimes when your arm feels sore but you could stretch it out and it feels fine -- but no matter how much you stretch, your butt cheeks still feels uncomfortable.

So uncomfortable that I rarely ever turn when I sleep. And the only way that I can walk comfortably is by waddling. It isn't cute. Then of course when I'd been sleeping on one side for a whole night, I'd wake up with an ache to that entire side! I just can't win.
Then not too long after that I experienced my first round ligament pain. That was a real "pain". Bearable, but really worrying when I first had it.

It'll happen when I'd make sudden moves or suddenly change my positions. The first time I had it, I was trying to get up from a reclining chair too fast. Then I keep getting it every once in a while if I'd been walking too fast or too long.
Uncomfortable and alarming, but no biggie!

By the end of second trimester, I experienced my first heartburn..
That was not fun.. at all! It literally felt like my chest was burning and it always came around at night when I was ready for bed. That was total shit. But that didn't last too long, I think! I had it for a few nights and it sort of just went away..
Kinda expecting it to come back in the third trimester.. but I'm not hoping. Not at all looking forward to it. Just expecting since I keep seeing it coming up in articles. sigh

My Ramadhan had been going well until I started getting gassy again. I keep forgetting that now my belly is growing bigger, my stomach gets pushed upwards. As the fasting month goes, I always end up falling asleep only after suhur and naturally, whatever that went in wants to come back up after a few hours of lying down.
Stupid.. and disgusting, I know. So my best solutions so far is to stay up even longer than I want to -- or put up several pillows under my head so at least my neck is higher than my chest.

[edit] Oh! I just remembered that there's that one time when I got a real bitch of a leg cramp in my left leg during my sleep. One that got me moaning loud enough that it woke Monkey up whom then helped me to try stretch that leg out. Bless him.
After that episode, I haven't gotten any leg cramps *knocks on wood* but I have had a few times when it had threaten to come back -- but I quickly changed my legs' positions, and saved myself from that pain.

Now as I enter the third trimester, I was introduced to pubic bone pain -- OH MY GOD!
It's probably the most uncomfortable thing I've experienced so far. It's a sharp pain on my pubic bone that feels like I had bikini wax on the same spot, several times in a short period of time! It stung and ached and moving around was torturous! It's like that pain I had on my butt had decided to move forward -- except worse.

This one was the worst yet. Basically it stings whenever I move my legs separately. Like when I'm trying to get out of bed, or put on pants, or get out of the car. I also have to walk real slowly..
It also made it painful to turn in bed. Basically having a good night's sleep is -- no amount of pillows could help me now.

I suppose I was sort of amused that my aches and pains keeps moving around and not stay for too long.. or happens at the same time. I am grateful for that at least.
I asked Kina if she had any pregnancy woes throughout her five pregnancies and apart from the first week of gassiness when she had first found out that she was pregnant, she had no such pain at all! Bitch. HAHHAHAHA!

Some of my friends had told me to drink milk to avoid any sort of bone related ailment but I have been drinking milk! Even manage to finish a tin of Enfamama!
I'm quite confident that my aches and pains weren't related to calcium deficiency. Perhaps my bones and ligaments in my pelvic area are just too good at loosening up and getting ready for the baby.
Just my pelvic area though. Personally I'm still nervous about being in labour.. while being so excited about holding Nugget in my arms!

Can't stop feeling amused everytime I feel the baby moves. I get a little out of breath sometimes but it's.. weird and magical at the same time.
I do feel blessed for this experience, despite all my complaints so far. I've been pretty emotional every now and then but Monkey's been great and really patient. He'll make a great dad, there's no doubt that Nugget will favour him more than me. sigh.

I think that's pretty much it from me when it comes to complaints.
I suppose there's Braxton Hicks contractions to look forward to. Well, who am I kidding? I am surely NOT looking forward to any sort of pain, but I am mentally preparing myself for what's coming in the next few weeks.

Just weeks to go from here. Where did all the time went?? I really am beginning to freak out..
I pray things will go on smoothly from here.. insyaAllah.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Nesting.

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Approaching Week 30 of my pregnancy..
I'm debating if this entry should be under the "pregnancy" category but I digress.. This feels more like a life update than being pregnant-specific.
BUT! They're very closely related.. We'll see.

I am actually looking forward to re-do the smallest room in our apartment and turn it into the baby's room. Currently it's more like a storage/cram whatever/guest room. It's a weird sort of room, very dusty as we don't go into it that often but I am really excited about moving things around in between the smallest room and the second room.

So far we haven't really bought much baby stuff apart from a carseat, foldable baby tub and a playpen because we haven't got a place to put them in yet.
We decided to go with a portable playpen instead of a traditional baby cot since we're due to move out some time next year and the one that we bought seemed easy to pack up in between rooms or houses.

There is a single bed in the small room which I think will remain there for late night feeding or to catch some sleep. That room has almost no natural light coming in which is perfect for sleeping at any time of the day. Monkey had mentioned that he wanted to get a kiddy-curtain for that particular room. I find that amusing since that never really crossed my mind.

We also need to switch up the curtains in our room. It's been the same white curtains since we moved in a year ago because I like having a diffused light coming into our room, plus it makes the room a little more spacious than it really is. But hubs is REALLY concerned about getting enough sleep, so we'll be looking into thick, dark curtains soon.

As much as I hate having everything from IKEA, it's just SO easy to get things that I need under one roof! Seems like they have expanded their range in the baby-category in recent years and I do think we'll be buying some baby related things there.. of all places!

I do have my heart set on the Trofast storage system.
I had mentioned to Monkey about getting the boxes with lids in several sizes for different things. Smaller ones for the teeny tiny clothes while the larger ones to store other things. Then maybe after the move to a more permanent place, we'll get the frames that the boxes will fit into.


I'm actually really excited about that. Excited about organising baby things and see what we have enough of, or what more do we need.
Well, we need a heck lot more! Hubs and I haven't really got into that shopping mood just yet although we have bought some random bits and bobs.. a couple or two clothes from the sale in Mothercare that is currently ongoing 'til second of July.
I still have my heart set on picking up some Aden & Anais swaddle and blankets because I keep hearing so much about them, so I'll be waiting for that baby expo coming up at the end of July.

Hopefully I won't be too huge and tired to walk around by then!
We really do have a LOT to do around the house and I just pray that Monkey won't end up having to do everything by himself.

I've been told to start making a list of things that I'll need but I just can't seem to get around to it! Seems so REAL and SO MUCH MONEY! hahahaha! Do you have any clue how much a good breast pump would cost?! And diapers too!
Suppose I'll make the list before the expo in July so we could get a good discount on things that we really need.

So far the house doesn't feel any different. While the second room is still occupied, there really isn't much that can be done. Except maybe sort our wardrobes to make room for.. whatever really. I'm starting to get that feeling to nest, but it's frustrating to not have the room for my ideas.

Hopefully the lil' kid isn't planning on a surprise and arrive too early. I mean, everyone has warned me that the first pregnancy usually gets delivered ahead of the due date.. I am wrapping my head around that. But not too early please, Nugget!
I hate the thought of us running around the house like a headless chicken, trying to get things as organised and settled as I had hoped it would before the baby arrives.

I mean, we're planning to move the wardrobe and bookshelf from the smallest room into the second room, so Monkey better not have to do all that by himself!
Aaanyway, Eid is coming up and all we could think about is channelling what we have towards the baby's arrival. It's hard to swallow, but for the first time in my life I won't be getting a new outfit for Eid this year!

Well, it really is no big deal. But I am a lil' wee bit sad, still.
Priorities, though!
I'll get over it.
Happy that I'll be spending the holidays with family! Even Monkey will be around for a couple of days! yayy! I'm already imagining all the good food.. SO excited!

Sunday, June 11, 2017

The Second Trimester. (Part 2)

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Felt baby's kick as we were approaching Week 19.
April 1st, even. A joker, this one.
Wasn't too sure if it really was the baby but Nugget kicked again.. and again.

Got my first tetanus shot at Week 22.
It was uncomfortable. Can't remember the last time I got a shot, to actually feel the medicine going into your upper arm.. the sting.. it was unpleasant.


I wouldn't say that it was painful; it wasn't painful to me, but it stung and it felt hot on my arm. While some say they'd feel their arm go numb for a while after, my arm felt fine. But it was a bit itchy around the area where I got the shot for a few days.
Apart from that, the particular visit was uneventful. My nurse had wrote down in my book to come by at 09:00 but I was there at 08:30. Waited until 10:02 before my number was actually called!
I left the clinic at about 11:00.

My body was adjusting once again around this time. My bump was getting more noticeable, I was getting a little gassy again and some heartburn late at night. Then there's round ligament pain, which isn't funny at all. And my back.. or hip.. actually it's more like the bone on my butt was achy. I always thought pregnant women walked funny because they were adjusting to the size of their belly but I was beginning to think that like me, they've been walking funny because their butt cheeks were giving them discomfort!

I don't know if there's an exact name for that part of our body but it's not exactly the back, or the hips and it's definitely not the coccyx! It's more like the back part of the hips, perhaps quite parallel to the coccyx.
That's the best way I can describe it in words, unfortunately.
Anyway, they are uncomfortable, border-lining on painful to the point that when I sleep -- I rarely ever move! It's like my body knows that turning from one side to the other would cause me pain, so even in my sleep, I don't bother turning my body.
Which of course then led to one sore side once I wake up!

Coming up to Week 24, we had an appointment for a detailed scan at Umra.
This is when they do a 3D/4D scan of our lil' Nugget! Unfortunately government clinics does not offer this service as they don't have the equipment for it.
NOTE: If you have any concerns about your pregnancy at all, you may want to visit a private hospital or clinic to get an ultrasound at Week 12-14 for an NT Scan, then at Week 24 for a Detailed Scan where you get to look at baby's little fingers, their teeny tiny face, and if baby cooperates -- their gender too! Actually some can already see the baby's gender by Week 16, but it's clearer by Week 20 onwards.

About a month after my first tetanus shot, I got my second dose. Apparently you get it twice on your first pregnancy and only once if you've been pregnant before. This time it didn't burn as bad somehow. Still uncomfortable but a lot less unpleasant.
The rest of my check-ups were short and not special.

Well, except for the bit where I got lectured on the food I should be eating as my Hb dropped since my last check-up. My nurse also upped my iron dosage to two pills instead of one. She also measured my belly and checked on the baby's heartbeat.


This check-up at Week 27 took about an hour and half. I came in at 09:15, had my number called for the Hb and pee test at 09:22, saw my nurse at 09:45, got my shot at 10:36 then left the clinic at 10:40. That lecture really took a while..

By the end of second trimester, my belly was definitely getting bigger. I could feel Nugget getting bigger. Baby's kick was getting stronger. Its movement more recognisable.
I was approaching seven months of pregnancy after all!

Second trimester notes:
1. If the nurse gives you a certain time to come by, just follow it. I feel like the clinics are busiest at the first hour they are open. Then things sort of just calms down as the hours go by.
2. Perhaps I'm an extra parent, it's not exactly a requirement to get the Detailed Scan but as mentioned previously, any chance I get to see Nugget, I'm going to grab it! Getting one is not a bad thing. During my scan. the sonographer had focused on the baby's heart, checked on baby's digits, see baby's heart and if baby has a cleft lip.. it's a good thing.
3. The first two months of the second trimester was the BEST time to go anywhere and do anything. At least for me, that's when I was most comfortable with my body and I hadn't had any pregnancy woes to talk about.
I'd say it's the best time to start having a look at baby's stuff, stuff you might need once the baby arrives. If you prefer to survey for things, test them out in stores before actually committing to them, it's the right time to do so.

We're pretty much all caught up now!
The next pregnancy-entry will take a while from now on, so if this hasn't been your jam.. Rejoice!
I'll try and entertain you with some fluff in the next few entries and not totally abandon this blog. heh!

Thursday, June 08, 2017

A borrowed time.

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Hubs made me cry last Sunday.
Aren't I dramatic?
It has nothing to do with what he did, really. He was just sharing something that happened at work that day.

He was flying back from an Australian port and flight was fine. He touched down as per scheduled, just before 6PM but that night he came home at about midnight.
He texted me after touchdown that there was a medical case.
Passenger unconscious.
They (the crew) were administering CPR and that he'd text me back.

Ten minutes later he texted again saying that the passenger did not survive.

I told him to just tell me about it once he gets home.
As he did, he took a shower first thing before finally sitting down next to me and told me about the incident.

The passenger was an elderly female, travelling with her husband of fifty-plus years. They had always wanted to come visit the country but were always busy with work. They finally got the time to travel and not too many steps from exiting the aircraft, the lady collapsed and was unconscious.

It wasn't the flight crew's responsibilities to attend to such situations as the passenger was already in the terminal, but other passengers who'd noticed this incident came running back into the aircraft for help.
So the crew members of this flight ran towards the couple with whatever equipment that they have onboard and did what they could.

Unfortunately first aid was just not enough during this situation.

And while waiting for the authorities, the crew tried to console the husband by talking to him.
That's when Monkey overheard him whispered to his wife, "I wish we had a few more years.."

I - just - can't.
I tried to just listen to his story and just listen, but I couldn't help but empathise..

I wish Monkey and I won't ever feel that way -- hoping for something that we can't have.
I've never said this out loud but I've been wary since I got pregnant.
I also hadn't told Monkey that I almost slipped in the bathroom last month.
Suppose I should accept fate.

Hubs will HATE it if I say anything remotely morbid. But I am me after all. Thinking about the worst that could happen comes naturally to me. Of course I don't wish for anything bad to happen -- especially onto myself. But bad things happens to the best of us, right?

I pray that everything will be fine..
I'm excited for the arrival of our baby, but at the same time I am scared shitless.
I hope Monkey and I still have many years together. Even if we just end up frustrating each other as we always do.

Aah, so here's where I leave you. Because talking.. writing.. thinking about any place without Monkey around just makes me sad..

Wishing the best for every one of us. May we all never wish for things that we can't have.

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Of anything else..

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How have I been doing so far?

I have been talking about Nugget a lot, it seems.
Between this blog, and my Moleskine, also the journal that I've been writing Nugget.. feels like all I ever talk about is this little bub! I don't think I am losing myself just yet, that feat will probably take a whole lot to do. But I do feel like I am losing things to talk about now that the baby has taken over my work and obsession with make-up.

I am still not missing work, by the way.
Kinda worrying.
Truth be told, I am getting a little scared by the idea of going back to work. I wasn't in love with it when I left and I might have been a little traumatised even, but I see the need to go back to work if I'd like to keep my livelihood and sanity.
I don't think it takes all that much to keep me happy, but I do prefer having the best of anything if I can get it, and I don't see how I could if Monkey is the only person providing for this family.

And this may be too soon to say, but ideally I would like Nugget to have siblings someday.
Too soon to actually plan for it, but I've always adored having my sisters and I hope I'll be fit and strong enough to provide that for my bub one day. Of course, if I'm fated to have just one then so be it. But if there is a choice.. If it is possible.. If I don't end up being traumatised by giving birth.. yeah, I'll go through the gassiness, constipation and spotty face all over again one day.

So yeah, as much as I don't miss the idea of work right now, I'll probably go back once my maternity leave is over. I really do miss shopping with my own money! hahaha!

In other news, my Ramadhan has been going good so far. I've asked my family and friends if they fast while being pregnant, and the answers were a mix. I was determined to try and alhamdulillah, so far everything is going well. I was never going to force myself anyway. I reckon if I was in my first trimester, I wouldn't even bother because I was hungry most of the time but now that I'm well in my second, I think I can manage it.
Nugget has been kicking me more at around five to six pm especially on that first day but we're alright.. We can handle this!
I mean, this has only been the third day.. *rolls eyes*

I know that I've been blogging A LOT this month!
A part of me is thinking, "while the mood still strikes me..".
Also, "while I still have the chance and have both hands free.." heehee. I reckon I'll have to learn to use just one hand for a bunch of things once the baby arrives and I don't think I'll have much time to be in front of my computer.

Life's been good overall. If there is any real complaints, it's mostly because I miss my financial freedom -- which is terrible! Monkey has been super throughout this journey. He sighs a little sometimes but he never complained. Nothing like me anyway, 'cause I'm a real brat!
I'm still amazed by how cool he seems with being the sole breadwinner of our little family. I mean, clearly I am quite high-maintenance if you haven't noticed!

He's always been the joker; never really serious with anything.. but time and time again he surprises me with his "plans" for us. I don't know.. maybe because I've never been the planner. I've always been the I'll-deal-with-what's-in-front-of-me kind of girl so when he talks about his plans and the future, I'm always taken aback.
To think that I'd spent years being unsure of him..
This man is going to be my baby's daddy! HAHAHAHHA!!

I find it amusing how we'd seen each other in our best and worst. The perks of growing up with your partner, I think. I feel like we were children when we first got together. Still trying to figure out our lives, what we really want out of it. Now we're a few months away from being parents!
It's CRAZY come to think of it.
But I couldn't imagine going through all this with anyone else but Monkey. I really feel blessed with how everything had turned out in my life.

Dida reckon that I am lucky. I honestly don't see it as luck, though.
I really do feel truly, blessed. Alhamdulillah..
Things are not perfect, but I'm grateful and glad for everything that I have. Now I pray that Nugget will grow up fine, healthy and well.

Nothing much to update you on, then. That's pretty much what's going on with me lately.
So here is where I leave you for now.
Hope you'll have a wonderful June, folks!

Sunday, May 28, 2017

The Second Trimester. (Part 1)

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I find having an app on my phone to keep up with my pregnancy really helps.
Honestly, who has the time to remember the actual weeks of their pregnancy?
I had started with Pregnancy+ by Health & Parenting, but I wasn't too keen with the features and navigation (even though it was still very useful!) so I am currently using the app by BabyCenter on my phone.

So, going into Week 13 was kinda.. weird.
First trimester was all about adjusting.
As the second trimester rolled in.. everything felt normal again.
I had worried about Nugget's well being throughout the first trimester. Thought I'd be over it as we get into the second trimester, but NOPE.
I was then worrying if I was still pregnant because I'd felt so NORMAL that I didn't feel like I was pregnant!
I know.. nothing can please me at this point.

But I loved that I got my strength back. I wasn't so starving the very second I wake up every morning. I've been getting more sleep as my body wouldn't wake me at 8am as it would throughout the first twelve weeks. And most importantly, I didn't feel as gassy as I have for the past many weeks!

My first check-up for the second trimester was at Week 15 with the Family Medicine Specialist.
As mentioned in a previous entry, I had this appointment because of my history as a smoker.
Didn't do much at this appointment, really. Just talked to the nice doctor who then did an ultrasound to make sure that the baby was progressing normally.

The week after was my appointment at the private hospital where they did another ultrasound -- as they do at every visit. Not really necessary -- really adds up to the bill if I'm being honest, but I LOVE seeing Nugget whenever I can, so no complaints there! heh.
At Week 16, it is the best time -- and last, that you can get a scan of the baby in full view. Anytime after that, the baby will be too big and you won't be able to get their full head to toe on the screen.


Then at Week 18 or 19 would be the time to get the glucose tolerance test (MGGT) done.
I was asked to start fasting from 10PM until my appointment at KKIA to get my blood drawn the next morning.

I got there at 07:40 and the numbers started getting called at 07:57. It was at 08:25 when my number was called to get my blood drawn for the 'fasting blood sugar' test. Then the nurse handed me a toxic-looking orange drink in a tall cup; about Starbucks' venti size, that I needed to finish. It was REALLY sweet. So much so that it actually stung my throat! Once I was done, the nurse asked me to come back to that room at 10:30.


While I was waiting to see my usual nurse, my stomach was really unhappy. There was like a storm in there. Probably shocked with that sickly sweet glucose drink after 10 hours of not having anything.
At 09:30 I got to see my nurse. We got the normal checks done (weight and BP) then chatted like normal. She asked if I'd felt the baby move, which I hadn't. She then asked me to lie on the bed as she went to measure my belly and checked for the baby's heartbeat! Then she restocked me with my supplements which were now three pills of iron, B complex and folic acid. (I reckon Iberet's better but they've run out of stock. Sad, I know.)
That meeting took about twenty minutes.

So I waited a while more. Expecting for my number to get called at 10:30 to get my blood drawn again after the 'modified glucose tolerance test', but it never did. I was getting restless and nervous by 10:45, knowing that this particular KKIA sends all their blood tests out at 11:00 (things you overheard over the multiple visits), so I went back to the "blood room" and the nurse said that they'd called my name earlier. *eyeroll*
Aaanyway, got my blood drawn a full syringe again then I was done at 10:51!

Things I learn in the fourth month;
1. You only get to see the specialist at the government clinic if you have a higher risk of pregnancy. Pro -- extra ultrasound! Con -- extra appointments. bleh!
2. Week 15 or 16 is THE BEST time to get your ultrasound printed out! Baby actually looks like a baby and not some undecipherable blob.
3. Glucose tests are done from Week 18 -- and that drink sucks!
4. The insides of my elbows were actually bruised for over ten days after getting my blood drawn! (Doesn't happen to everyone. My skin is just THAT sensitive.. and perhaps the nurse wasn't that good at drawing blood in the first place.)


5. If the nurse said to come back at a certain time, just come back -- I thought I was being a good girl, waiting so patiently for my number to get called. Turned out I was almost stupid, if I'd missed the cut-off time, I would have to do the MGGT all over again some other time! yikes!
 

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