Wednesday, June 09, 2010

I should be studying.

The conversion class is going pretty smoothly. Though I've been having trouble remembering what the acronyms actually stands for. Hence the need to study -- just in case there'll be those kinds of questions. Grrr.

I think I'm PMSing.. Mostly because I've been pretty easily upset these days. I mean let's face it, I'm not the chirpiest bird around but I'm not the kind who mopes around either. (I save those times for when I'm in my bed.)

I don't really have anything much to blog about but for the sake of distracting myself from actually reading my chocolate-brown manual, you'll just have to bear with me at this moment.

I think my memory is failing me even more than usual these days. Dida theorize that it may be the effects of my exposure to constant smokes.
I do plan on quitting. When exactly, I don't know. I figured that I am surrounded by smokers anyway, it's going to be tough so I haven't bothered trying. Hahahaha!
Although I should have a stock of Taiwan's Marl-Lite at hand; since it's so light, I managed to slow down as smoking had lost its purpose -- as if there had been one!

Anyway... It's just something to do. Some people drink, I smoke. But perhaps I should take up drinking since I don't drive anyway..

Funny how I find myself wanting to explain why I said what I said to people whom don't know me well for fear of being misjudged.
And funny how I keep telling people, and myself that I don't give a rat's ass about what they think of me.
Even funnier is why I wanted to be accepted so badly sometimes -- so I could have an easy ride through life.

But honestly, if I can't say what I want to say.. but I say it anyway, and be misjudged by the people whom don't even know whether I was being serious or simply jesting.. I really shouldn't care of their thoughts of me.
The idea of me being someone else for the sake of superficial happiness.....
I can't continue ranting about this. Simply absurd.

So sometimes I'm nutty, sometimes I'm serious.. But most of the time I am just kooky. Love me more when I'm PMSing 'cause that's when I'm easily stuck in my own world. What ever I am at the moment.. I am worthy of love.

Sometimes I fear of being branded as having an "attitude problem", but I should be able to say my mind and so do others. Their failure to say it back is THEIR attitude problem!
Hahhahhahaha! Right?
I think I'm having a surge of abstract thoughts that I'm not sure if anything I've said even relates.
Oh well.. You'll live. Click 'Next blog' if you must.

My clouds are a light shade of gray.. I am in that phase where I am creating troubles in my mind.
I don't know.. Feels like Snow Patrol lyrics right now;

Those three words are said too much, they're not enough..

So I'm needy and clingy and what ever you may call me. I deserve to be loved anyway, so suck it!

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