Saturday, December 31, 2005

I adore!

I think this is one of the best-est songs I've heard this year.

[embeded file removed! sorry!]

She said I feel stranded
And I can't tell anymore
If we coming or I'm going
It's not how I planned it
I've got the key to the door
But it just won't open

And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything that just feel better

Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping

I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
Everything must have its seasons
Round and round it goes
And every day's a one before
But this time, this time
I'm gonna try anything that just feel better

Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better
And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

Long to hold you in my arms
To all things I ought to leave behind, yeah
It's really getting nowhere
I think I need a little help this time

I'm gonna try anything that just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything that just feel better
And I can't find my way
Girl I need a change
And I do anything that just feel better
Any little thing that just feel better

Now I just can't stop listening to it over and over again..

In the spirit of a real hussy.

Fickle I am.

Went back to Isetan today. (Well, yesterday now) But I no longer remember the face of the guy I minorly fond of on Thursday. haha! Ickin' idiot.
But I did talked to this one customer who was especially nice and especially charming looking!! heehee. I'm forgetting his exact looks now, but I remember how I liked him at that moment!!
Cute guys with good English are definitely my vice. Definitely. Just can't help it. Simply.. definitely.

A shout out (although I'm quite certain it wouldn't be heard) to my fellows who'll be working today; Kak Wati, Lilian, Chai Ling and Mimie! Happy to know that neither of them will be sent off to get stressed out on Isetan, Level 2. heeheee.
Couldn't help feeling sorry for Chai Ling and Lillian who had been, on Thursday and Friday. They seemed so gloom everytime I went to look up on them while I was on my break.

Day off today! Thank God, too! Would hate to share the bus and train with those "party people" who will be looking forward to the new year's festivities around the city.
Plus, I love Saturday! House rerun! ekkeke!

Dida sent some photos today. I'm sharing this one 'cause I couldn't help loving it! It's the bridge in Rotterdam; considered the landmark there.
neat sky

Aaah 2005.
Such fond memories it has been.
I am sort of looking forward to the new year! Can't say why.. *wondering blissfully*

Goodnight everyone!

Thursday, December 29, 2005


Yesterday actually.. read about Steven Spielberg in January's Reader's Digest.
It's amazing what one's perseverance can lead them to. As for Spielberg, he had always knew what he wanted to do (plus point right there!) Had always carried around his 8mm camera. Even dropped out of secondary school until his parents persuaded him to return.
I thought the short article was rather.. inspiring. Not about the dropping out of course; just the part where he had always wanted to film things.. And that part about him sneaking into Universal Studios.. hilarious! You got to read the article.

Somewhat unwell today. Probably because of the lack of sleep. Although I was moody most of the day, I couldn't help feeling amused at the two guys at the Isetan Supermarket. I guess I'm not so mean after all. Couldn't help smiling at strangers even though I wasn't feeling too great.
But.. the fact that one of those guys weren't bad looking might have helped! ekkeke! He said; "Come again!"

Now trying to learn the guitar to Aly & AJ's No One.
Can't help it.. I just adore the song!

Oooh~ Today I saw Eoin Colfer's latest book!! An Artemis Fowl series!! Eeeeeek!!!!! Gotta have it soon!! Gotta gotta!!

January's work schedule much more relaxed.. yeayyyy!! Oddly looking forward to that. (the WORK, I mean.)

Neat day!!

Well.. a much better day than the days I've had before. (at least for the past 2 weeks!)
I thought it was nice to be able to wake up late for work. heehee. Although going back home at 10 was a bit tiring. *sigh* And my mom.. my mom worried so much that she actually WAITED until it was time for me to go home. It's a mix between over-protective and over-bearing. HAHAHAHAH!!
Had the L1 shift with Angel, which was neat! I like her a lot actually! She's 18 and lives in Taman Sri Muda.

Tonight's bus driver was amusing. I was trying to pay for tickets when he suddenly asked me to smile. I didn't see the harm in that, so I smiled! He then sighed and said something that goes like: "you're pretty.." I said thanks and walked back towards my mom (already in a seat) while I heard the man sighed again. hohhohok! Funny.

Tired now. But pretty hungry. Gonna eat the instant mee that my dad made me. heehee.
G'nite people!!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Love Hurts.

Sure they do!

Anyways, nothing much to say except the fact that my favourite episode of House was on AXN tonight!! eeeeek! Okay.. it was one of my favourite episodes.
Lame, huh?

Getting the late shift tomorrow. yikes!! Would probably arrive home at 11:30. double yikes!! Gonna lie down now. My whole body aches, and I really should update on my life in my journal. hohhohok!
My life has seemed to be on pause in there.
*sigh* Really need more time to myself.

ooh! Credits to oneirophobic for the cap and Theresa for the ones I've put up before. heehee. And I'm not going to share their links because I'm simply selfish!

Monday, December 26, 2005

Auburn Brown.

My new shade of hair. heh!
My mom asked if I had wanted to finish up her extra hair colouring since her hair is pretty thin and it'd be such a waste to just throw it away, so I said - yeah!!
So now I have the same shade of hair as my mother. Well, not exactly! Her shade is lighter from the greying hair. heehee.

Okay.. got nothing more to say.
I'm boring.. I know.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Of course you are..

Should probably have a decent update, yeah?
Well I don't!
But you should know that today is a better day than yesterday...

And please note that I don't hate my job.
I just hate the to and fro.

Jolly Christmas everyone!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Really REALLY pissed.

Happened to run to a rather rude mamak as I was walking towards the bus station from work. Note: I'm not being racist. I'm simply giving out the particulars of the guy who pissed me earlier. He was a mamak, with love handles, rather short, and has a woman-like voice. When I think about it, the person could have actually been a very man-like lady. O well, who cares! I don't! As a matter of fact, I wouldn't mind at all if that particular mamak just DIE! Maybe I should light a fire at the very spot where he stood. Stupid friggin' idiot!

Then there was rain.. I really don't mind the rain. I LIKE rain. But I was in the bus.. and there was a leak on it's roof. Well, you do the math.
And a certain person promised to come pick me up with an umbrella from the bus stand.. well, the person didn't came. Empty promises. What a surprise.

Really really upset.
Really REALLY.
Couldn't even pretend to write about the nice things that happened today.

Disorganized thoughts.

eek! December's ending! I haven't quite figured out next months layout! egaad! I think it's slightly frustrating that now I've been working.. I hardly have any time left to think. Well, maybe because I've never been a very good thinker anyways that I just find it even harder to slip a thought in.
I told Pei Sun (the supervisor!) that I wish to work for only four days come January but she said January is a busy month as well - and that Jesse (?) (bigger boss at the office in Kerinchi) would want a real excuse for having such request.
Apparently the others; Chai Ling, Angel, Liyana, Mimi (co part-timers) only works 2-3 days a week because they're still studying.
Yeah yeahh.. too bad for me. Now I'm tempted to go back to school! ahahhaha!!

Maybe they'll let me change my schedule in February. Hopefully. I really wish to have the time to lie down and think, instead of squeezing in a thought while I was shampooing my hair. And I'd like to be able to write like a decent sane woman instead of trying to keep my handwritings readable as I was writing in a particularly ancient bus.

Pei Sun was really nice today.. She bought all of us a Christmas pressie! Me like very much! It was a little bag of cookies and a small cute cup. I can never say no to sugar!! heehee.
Just this week I'm practising an all-fat diet. Really awesome!
You know what they say about emotional-eaters? The ones who stuffed themselves because they were upset or depressed? Well, of course I'm upset about Dida not being here to hover around me and nag, but really.. getting to eat as much sugar as you want for a mere reason of depression?? THIS IS THE LIFE! ekkekeke!!
I had ice cream on Wednesday (an Oreo McFlurry to be exact!), chocolates on Thursday (Kinder Bueno and TWIX!) and a chocolate sundae and some cookies on Friday! I've never felt happier in my life!
Note: fat and sugar is the PERFECT way to sabotage yourself.

Was just thinking about what I'm going to do with my first pay. It's not much, but still! I could buy some things with the money. Of course, the practical way is to reload my Touch 'N Go or my phone or to let it "grow" in the bank, but really! My insides just screams that I should spend every cent of it on silly things so I'd remember it for the rest of my life!
I actually have a couple of ideas..
1. that McFLY songbook I found at the shelf in Kino for piano, vocals and guitar. Although I might never actually play their songs as it was meant to be played, it should feel great to own a piece of them! (downside: the book costs RM114)
2. had always wanted one o' those take-away coffee flasks. (downside: RM60+ well, could probably found one that's cheaper.. but do I have to?)
3. treat my good friends at a really nice place!! (downside: they didn't get me anything for my birthday!! And with food, you won't have much memory of it since you'll flush them away by the next day.)
4. get that new Cecelia Ahern's book! (downside: it's not out in pocket size yet! Would hate to carry around an A5-like story book. And it's RM60+. Should probably buy two books with the same price!)
5. finally get a decent, nice, something for Dida's belated pressie and send it off to Rotterdam. (downside: err.. naaaah! I'm too selfish for that! ekkekeke!)

O well, I'll decide once I cash in the cheque. Will tell how the outcome goes..
As for now, I better go to sleep. Getting the early shift tomorrow. Can't afford to be late - AGAIN! (I keep on getting in late, it's awful!)

Friday, December 23, 2005

Quite a day...

Got the late shift today.. so I ended up getting home at 11:30. Feel sorry for Mama who had waited for me at Central.

Dida has settled in her apartment. She told Papa that she fits in fine over there.

Today at work, I spoke to some Nihonjin (Japanese). Well.. I talked to just one, actually.. I mostly used sign language with the other. I seriously needed help with that guy! Horrible! Simply horrible. The other Nihonjin was a really kawaii (cute) lady. Really really cute. Although I knew it well that she was Japanese, I just HAD to ask if she really was, so I could talk more to her. heehee.

Oooh~ and I got my first ever pay-cheque today!!! It was exciting!! Really!! My first ever cheque!!
first ever cheque!

Okay.. gotta rest now. Terribly tired.
By the way.. KLCC will be open 'til midnight today for those who haven't done their Christmas shopping!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Life goes on, apparently.

Feels like the ugliest person alive this morning.
Couldn't stop myself from crying and it seems like I'm the only one. Not only I'm the laziest, silliest of the family.. I also happen to be the lamest of all.
It's a wonder how life could just go on and how minutes simply turn into hours when you're curling inside your bed, trying to hide from the world that you are truly depressed.
It isn't fair.
I wish I had the day off tomorrow so I could at least show up to work looking decent, but by the way I can't stop this tears from rolling down my face it would be impossible. I'd probably look like a retarded guppy by the morning.

What's more messed up is that I cry even more when everyone else is being nice to me. Papa gave me an extra hug.. Mama and Nina sugared more of their voice.. It makes me feel even worse!!
I just don't get why am I the only one who's crying like crap! I feel so pathetic!!!

You can't possibly imagine the silence of the house.
Just entering the room was depressing.

I miss Dida already, and it sux!

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Rather upset.

Really upset to be exact.
Feeling really really alone right now, and I can't help getting cranky over it.
In a roomful of loud, noisy people but I am just so so alone.

And by Tuesday I will no longer feel alone.
I'd completely turn lonely.. and admitting to this is simply pathetic and sad.
Really not looking forward to becoming lonely. Been there.. it wasn't pretty. I had forgotten how that actually felt.. but the feeling is returning now.

Again, I will be spending my hours waiting on the people I love...

OH - MY - GOD!!

It's out!! It's finally OUT!!!

Da Vinci's Code full trailer!!
First looks of Langdon, Sophie, Sauniere, Bezu Fache, Teabing and Silas!!
(err.. sorry if I turned out to get the names somewhat incorrect. I don't feel like getting out of bed to look for the book right now - of course, I can Google it but books feels so much better!)
The trailer looked AWESOME by the way!!
Though I think Tom Hank's do looked a bit odd. heehee!

This is so exciting! Can't believe it'll only be out in May!!

Got it!!

Finally got it!!
After 2 weeks of searching. Silly me.. could've actually gotten it a little earlier! It's not in a very brilliant quality though, but it'll do.
This was the soundtrack played at the last scene of House, 1x17 - Role Model.
Really love this song! Really really.

[embeded file removed! sorry..]

It's okay, to think about ending
And it's okay, to not even start
Put it away, wait 'til tomorrow
Put it away, and take care of your heart
Of your heart

It's okay, to stay here forever
And it's okay to read in the dark
Put it away, wait 'til tomorrow
Put it away, and take care of your heart
Of your heart

Just for a while, I'd seen you smile

Saturday, December 17, 2005

call out.

hey somebody..
or anybody..

if you got Earlimart - It's Okay To Think About Ending, please please please pleaaaase let me know! I really really reaaally want it and I couldn't find it anywhere to download.
Please please pleaaaasee..

Preposterously tired.

Saw a boy today. Just an ordinary boy that walks in and out of your vision. He wasn't British.. Not exceptionally tall.. nor particularly handsome. Just a very simple looking boy. But I had to notice, for he deserved to be noted. heh!
Imagine the typical boy you'd see everyday; probably wearing a typical tee, typical jeans or khaki pants, and complete the look with a typical pair of sandals or sneakers. This boy I saw was all the same, typical. Except that he completed his looks with a pair of loafers. I suppose I am easily amused, but I was truly impressed by this not entirely typical boy. Wish I'd seen more of that.

Found a perfect lunch break spot today. I almost can't believe that I haven't found it earlier. Can't wait to share it with Muz!
Speaking of the devil.. still haven't got the file she wanted. It's frustrating! I wanted so much to let her see that particular episode! (Err.. yeah.. the file I'm downloading is House's 1x17 - Role Model.)
Right now I'm just pissed that the connection kept getting terminated. Just don't get why couldn't it finish the download already! "Fingers and toes crossed."

But I'm glad that it's finally weekend! I understand perfectly now; how real working people felt. Certainly I am qualified in that category; "real working people", but for some reasons I just feel like a child labour most of the time! ahahhaha!

House's cane is on eBay!

..and I'd like to say reaaaally sorry, to my pet Azraai. I was being a jerk, wasn't I? huhuuu. Never again. (well, that's a lie!) Well, you should know.. mengade mengade ni is my territory. You should never try that on me. I have low tolerance on icky people. Why do you think I have no girl friends who happens to be the last child?? sheesh! Menyampah! ahhahahhak!
Okay dah tak sori dah. Kejap je ni. ekekkeke!
Azraai sudah kembali bongok.

Getting a headache now. Probably 'cause the lack of sleep.
Well.. have a great weekend everyone!
Ooh! Dida's trip got post-poned again! She'll be leaving on Tuesday!

Currently listening to High Hopes. huehhueh!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Conversations with no one.

It's true what they say.. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.. Well, it goes something like that!
4 days of retail sales.. 4 days of agony.. And when I thought I should've been buried by the second day, I became more and more immune to the pain. My feet still hurts; analgesic balm (those creams that heats up once you put onto your skin) has officially become my new best friend. The truly, one and only thing I run to every night. It's an amazing bond!
So far.. this working thing is giving me mixed emotions. Sometimes I feel so good about it while most times I keep wondering "what a lousy worker I am," 'cause honestly, I'm HORRENDOUS! (Although Muz might tell you that I seemed busy all those times she's seen me.) My supervisor, Pei Sun; even calls me "adik" (lil' sis) at times. Okay, it might not be too bad.. but for me, it just highlights my incompetence in most things in the store.

But for a moment today, I felt SO proud! I guess it's just too bad that I went to the wrong interview; that instead of getting to work with the books, I got to work at the stationery section IN the bookstore.
Anyway, the story goes.. On my first day, Pei Sun told me that if anyone asks for directions to any book they were looking for, I should direct them to the information counter. And today, a lady asked me; "where can I get the C.S. Lewis Narnia series?" Ooh! I felt soooo proud to be able to tell her exactly where it was.
But still.. I can't remember exactly where the name card holder goes.

Just realized today that I don't even get the chance to think while at work, and when I was on break, I'd forget to bring along my journal with me. It's a sad, idiotic thing. Wish I had more break than the work! AHAHHAHA!!
Although I did get to notice that one half of the people who wished me on my birthday had also noted to me to "be happy always!" What does that exactly mean, eh? Does it mean that I'm usually cranky and they wanted me to be happy instead, or that I'm happy all the time and they wanted me to stick that way?

Ooh it's annoying to try downloading a file at this time! Trying to download a file that I had promised Muz in the morning but it's just TOO SLOW!! Wish I could be at home at 3pm when my downloads are usually reasonably fast..
All is left a dream for now I have a JOB. *sigh* I'm missing unemployment.

Note: To those who wishes to see me at work, you can. I promise I won't get mad. Just come near my break so I won't be eating alone. heehee. Having the noon shift can be a bore.. although I'm loving the fact that I only need to be there by 12!

Okay. Seems like I won't stop yapping.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Loving today.

Today felt really neat...
For one, my feet didn't hurt as much as the last two days.
Two, Nina came along after work with us - feels like the good ole times.
Three, we ate at Pizza Hut - and when "serious senior Pizza Hut diners" that are closely related to Mohd Idris doesn't get the exact topping on their pizzas, drama will surely follow. heehee! Was so funny, watching the waiters having a meeting over extra cheese, pineapples and olives.
For a minute, there were 3 waiters at our table!
Then later when it's settled, those waiters just got so keen on our table that when one of them overheard Dida saying that there wasn't any chilly sauce on the table, he clearly calls out at his friends for sauce - repeatedly. Probably afraid that we'll cause any more "scene". heehee.
Obviously something's wrong with us.. for enjoying our time bullying those waiters.

Okie! Sorry if you didn't understand my rather rusty writing skills. The whole thing about the pizza place was supposed to be funny.
Gotta go. Dida wants the laptop.


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Not a very bad ending.


Though I almost cried 6 times in public.. and in front of Muz at lunch (who stopped by 'cause she's plain nice).. wanting to off every single soul who dared to ask me where they could find "an indexed note book".. the even more aching feet..
It comes down to a nice family dinner at Chilli's.
It was still one of the worst days of my life.. but it was nice to have the whole family around.

Great people are/were Sagittarians.

Of course, great can either mean good or terrible, so no offence to everyone else who wasn't born between November 23rd and December 21st. I'm just being pompous.

To name a few of those great people; Karl Benz, Bruce Lee, Jimi Hendrix, Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, Woody Allen, Maria Rilke, Francisco Franco, Steven Spielberg, Walt Disney, C.S. Lewis, Charles Schultz, Frank Sinatra, Jane Austen, Ludwig van Beethoven, Andrew Carnegie, William Bonney, Morrie Schwartz and Nostrodamus. (of course, then there's those plain celebrities such as Britney Spears, Tyra Banks, Tina Turner, Benjamin Bratt, Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Jake Gyllenhaal and Alyssa Milano.)
To name a few, I said - hah!!
[the underlined names, are of course the people that are featured on this month's layout!]

And today, I'm wishing happy birthday to Jamie Foxx, Nick McCarthy, Tom Delonge and Amy Lee!

(It is slightly disturbing that I find more famous men than women. More disturbing that people born this day turned out to be just celebrities!)

I hope I'll come close to greatness one day. As of right now, I just feel..
mightily timid.
And slightly depressed. My true feelings aren't nearly as cheery as the first half of this post, 'cause honestly this is the worst morning I've ever had. Stupidest morning ever!

You can tell it's a horrible morning when you're banking on people to forget. (-thanks to those who didn't.)
Maybe I'm just really really cranky because I am still in pain. Just thinking about going to work later just aches me.

Stupid damn day!!! *curse curse and more curses*

Monday, December 12, 2005

Pierre Cardin KILLS!!

Never thought working in retail sales could be so hard.
Well, not exactly "hard" but I should take a while to get used to it. What's certain is that I could really.. really DIE wearing my lovely black shoes for straight 8 hours. *cries* Of course I didn't cry in front of my co-workers, but once I got into the car with Mama, Papa and Dida.. I couldn't possibly hold my pain any longer.
Good God, I really need a proper, comfy black shoes.. (If only they'd let me wear my Converse..)
The people there was okay. This one girl, Chai Leng was so funny. She said I looked like someone with mixed blood. WAHHAHAHHA!! Yeah, RIGHT!

Dida's trip was post-poned. She'll be leaving on either Saturday or Sunday. I tried to persuade her to create a blog so we (the family) could easily check up on her, but of course.. she even HATES reading. Can't possibly tell her to start WRITING!

Okay.. gonna lie down now. Feet really hurts and I still need to go to work tomorrow!
Need - rest.
Goodnight everyone!

And ohh.. thanks Shahnon - you cheater!

Friday, December 09, 2005

As mentioned.

Went to see the wreckage this morning.
She wasn't lying about being in a ditch.
And too bad for Dida.. her phone is officially gone. Couldn't find it anywhere. Must've dropped into the water.

few scratches on her face dida's arm the car from back
What seemingly to be nothing horrid at all.

What's left of the car.

The ditch in question.

one dead dog
The dead labrador - and it's guts?

hubcap taking a swim
One of the hubcaps left in the water.

Gotta Get Thru This
Recovered Daniel Bedingfield.

Shapadu highway
Where it all happened.


She got into an accident AGAIN!!! Can you believe her??
The stupid git.

This one was worse.. but she got out of the wreck pretty okay. Yes, wreck.
She was driving at 100km/h and somehow hit a "dog with a mission". As Dida had told us, it (the dog) was sitting pretty still on the road and when Dida tried to changed lanes, the dog changed it's position too. The damned dog!
So Dida had no choice but to ram the stupid dog - which then died (padan muke ko!) - but her car swerved to the side and hit the divider, and then it flipped a couple of times and landed on it's roof into a ditch - submerging her head for a few seconds before it turned to land back on it's "feet". (pardon the too many 'and's)

She's okay. She's really fine. Just some scratches and cuts from the broken glasses.
Will probably upload a few pictures later.
Thank God there were people around to help her out.

Dida said she's now considered a stuntman. Could even match Evil Knievel. She also said, "anjing memang haramm!" (dogs are definitely haram!)
And here's a community message from her; Don't speed, and always wear the seat belt.

Now tell me.. why shouldn't anyone get worried when she'll leave for Rotterdam??
(Good thing she won't be driving there!)

Thursday, December 08, 2005


Pardon the sigh. I am feeling rather upset since yesterday evening.
As you might have known, Dida going to Rotterdam is now CONFIRMED. I suppose I have expected that news to come by this week. What I hadn't counted on was the when she'll be leaving.
This time next week.. she'll be hustling and bustling around for her things.
She's leaving on December 15th.
And I'm upset because of that.
She won't even be here for her birthday!!
I know she doesn't need a bash or something like that.. but she'll be celebrating birthday with no one she knows by her side. I mean.. o I don't know.. I seem to take this personally, don't I? I just think.. no one should be alone on their birthday. The thought.. is upsetting.

And she'll be gone for 3 months, be back here for 2 weeks, and get back there again. And we'll go this way again, then.
I'm just so used to having her around.. bugging me, nagging on me, pisses me off.. Now, how can I gossip with her about our parents?!! My one true ally will be gone for 3 WHOLE MONTHS!!!
Now I've lost all reason to be happy for her.

And me, being the very typical emotionally-retarded person me, have started to feel some sort of resentment towards my sister.
How messed up can a person get?
Maybe I'll just die and stop having feelings.

Note: To those who are thinking I'm being overly dramatic and that I'm just blowing things out of proportion.. Go piss someone else!

A quick update:
Got a call. A part-time job offer, starts Monday. Might actually take it even though I'd have to spend half of the salary on transportation alone.
O well. Not like I have better things to do once Dida's gone.

7:34 pm @ December 8th, 2005

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Noone wants to be alone.

Am I right, or am I right?
heh! I don't remember what I was thinking just now.. but I know I was thinking of that line right at the end of my thoughts.
eh.. am I making sense?
O well, probably this will make things a little clear; saw The Perfect Man just now.. Couldn't sleep. I thought it was enjoyable. Not great, but "enjoyable" - definitely. Starting to like Hilary Duff more - maybe because Joel Madden is her boyfriend. *lol*

Change of subject!
Apple now has a trailer of the upcoming X3 movie!! wooot~!! GO HERE!
Out May 26th. Seems like I'm going to reaaaally like May next year!! (Da Vinci Code will be out on the 19th!)
Yeayy! This is bloody brilliant!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

#17 - Role Model.

Saw Ice Princess last night and the first thing I noticed was the soundtrack at the opening! So I look up on it and found this girls;
Aly & AJ!
They're sisters; Aly & AJ, and if you watch enough Disney Channel, you'd notice that Aly, is a matter of fact Keely in Phil of The Future!
Anyway, if you go to their website, you could listen to bits of their music and watch their video.. so, get!
(No One is the song I heard - and love! - in Ice Princess.)

House WatchTonight on House!
At a high-level campaign fundraiser, a senator becomes violently ill. Vogler forces House to take the senator's case and offers to let off the hook on firing a team member if he'll deliver a speech on behalf of Vogler's pharmaceutical company.

now.. what will he do, eh?
o house.. why o why?

Sunday, December 04, 2005

E noi dovrem, ahimè, morir.

A line from a song, of course.
I hardly know any other language than English and Malay. heh!

Hope you had a good weekend!
Mine was simply fine.

Have a good week ahead, everyone!

A lil' update on this fine Monday afternoon.
Found a funny Mad TV spoof of House!
You can download from this link! (right click and "Save Target As...")

- file hosted by BD212.
- discovered at
1:52 pm

Dida called. She's going.
Heart - dropped.
2:40 pm @ December 5th, 2005

Saturday, December 03, 2005

For some odd reasons..

and I don't know why;

- I feel like a day of my life is missing. I spent the whole yesterday thinking that it was Thursday until my father asked if I knew Dida's plans for the weekends. He told me that the day was Friday and I can't help but gape in wonder.

- I am sooo bothered by House's episode titles for the last five of the second season. Bothered. Verrry bothered. Those episodes are called: Need To Know, Happiness, Skin Deep, Heartless, and Clueless. Is it only me, but they sounds very melancholic and.. oh, I don't know.. A possibility that there'll be more character development - and probably sad ones?

- I searched for some spoilers on Lost. Well, it's not exactly odd that I went off finding it, but I'm not as obsessed about it as I am with House. Aaanyway, it's all because of one o'those small cuts on AXN! They've hinted on the next person who got killed on the island. *sigh* Yeah, now I know who gets the 'X' - in the second season. (TV haven't started on the second season yet, over here.)

- Tom dyed his hair dark (brown, likely.) bluergthhh! Well, not THAT awful but I'm just so used to him being blonde. *sigh* Their new single out on this 12th December. The video was creepily neat! I liked it.
why o why??


And to my dear non-evil twin, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
May the age finally match your level of maturity this time 'round! heehee.

Friday, December 02, 2005

I've finally done it.

Yes I did.

Finally made a friend in one o' those online community who told me exactly where to find House videos and download them!
Amazing.. Amazing people those are!

2-05; Daddy's Boy
I didn't really went downloading crazy.. So far I've only seen two episodes in advance! One is of the first season, the other is from the second season! Really, not so bad, my obsession. Am still looking forward to next week's episode; I don't plan on downloading anymore from the current season on AXN.
There's something about being all anxious that excites me. heh!

For one night I didn't hog the remote control - cause I hogged the computer, o'course! Watched videos religiously; Bend It Like Beckham (out of curiosity) and that two episodes of House!
Probably should go off to bed now, yeah?

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I crack myself up.

No pun intended, but if you get the pun, it'd be fine.. heh!
So what does this remind you of?
choco butt

Just put up a new layout. The theme is.. well, the theme is PURPLE, and the photos.. I'll tell you about that somewhere mid this month. hehe!

Finally got well in 7 days! heehee. My immune system kicks in in seven days! Lousy, but it works!! yeayy!

And this one is for Azraai. (takdelaa best sangat lagu ni!)
[embeded file removed. -sorry!]
The Beatles - In My Life

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


by John Lennon

[embeded file removed!]

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Have a g'nite, everyone.

Was thinking about the latest episode of House on AXN. (Boy, I'm such a sucker for.. ohh, never mind!) Just to say that I'm going to enjoy these last.. six episodes. Yeah, things are just getting better. Honestly, I would cringe at some things by the 21st episode but I'd love the rest of it nonetheless.
(note: last night on AXN was episode 16; Heavy.)
Am really looking forward to next week! Will love Cameron more. heh!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Relatively unwell.. but chirpy indeed.

Just saw Must Love Dogs - illegal download; should be ashamed of myself! - and simply loved it!! (despite the baad sound and several shadows moving about.)
John Cusack - LOVE HIM!! He's definitely one of my favourite romantic-comedy actors there is out there. Loved him since America's Sweethearts! A little dopey, but SO charming! Him and Diane Lane.. love them both!
Ooh~ the tagline for Must Love Dogs is; "The hardest trick is making them stay". Smart!

Been doing nothing productive today, but I'm not going to get depressed over it.
Tuesday is my day!! (Although I can't confirm that it has always been. I think I used to love Thursday during my school days, but Wednesday.. Wednesday has definitely never been a favourable day.) I'm rambling. Tuesday.. is currently my FAVOURITE DAY!
So much to look forward on the telly! (Right now you would probably think that I really really am a couch potato.) Am only listening to the wise words of a man; "read less, more TV." heh! (Houseism)

Aaaanyways, TV is not the only reason why I love Tuesday - I just.. do! It's like one of those things that just happen with no apparent reason.
Rambling again.
Stopping now.

(I actually took 21minutes to type these out! *gaped in wonder*)

My immune system is pathetic.

I think I'm down with some sort of a cross between flu and fever virus. I know one side of my face hurts, and I'm not going to freak myself out by Googling on my symtoms. *sigh* Probably should've taken some Panadol when I got it last week. Actually I still haven't had any sort of medicine to help me get better! But since I'm not complaining, no one's fussing on me to eat any pills - which is perfectly fine.. for now!
Kinda experimenting on myself actually. Let's see when my antibody will kick in and kick this virus outta me. heh!

Now I'm amusing myself by thinking if I had a doctor like House. haha! He would've probably been so annoyed to see me come into the exam room with just a slightly higher temperature and a runny nose.
Is there ANY doctors like him? He's just so... humm.. actually I haven't had a single word to describe him yet. Maybe "complex". Complex works, but it doesn't portray anything special, as he is, is it? O well!

Everyone's been talking about Dida going to Rotterdam. I'm slightly.. glum. It hasn't been confirmed yet, so a part of me wishes that she wouldn't have to go after all. Of course, that is only the envious part of me talking. And yeah, I'll miss her bossiness loads. Six to eight months.. It'll be like when Nina and Dida were in boarding school again, and I had always cried whenever I came along to send them to JB. Had always wished I could've stayed with them. *sigh* Really feels like I'm eleven again.

But Rotterdam would do Dida good, I'm sure of it. It's like a really really good chance for her to grow.. gain experience.. improve her English? haha! Well, she's brilliant, but she needs to talk more of it.
So I want her to go. She deserves to go. She should go.
Maybe later she'll come back with an incredible pressie for me like last time! heh! (Last time: she went to China and came back with a guitar for me.) *sigh* And maybe she'll come back with a handsome Dutch of a boyfriend. heehee!

Yeah, Dida should be picked for the Rotterdam post, and I shall be happy for it.

Saturday, November 26, 2005


My idea of a kinda good day. Well, sort of. It was spoilt by some things, you'll see what I mean by the end of this entry.
Basics, I woke up in the morning, (such a rarity!) got to shower and off to the mall. It would've been just a perfect kind of morning if I hadn't realized that I've forgotten to stuff my black pen inside my bag while inside the train. I was hoping to get some writing done, so it bugged me so much that I went to get a new pen once l've reached Midvalley. *grunts* Yes, I did.
Anyway, I don't really have any 'business' to settle for the day, but I thought I should get out of the house or I'll never shower! (eh, confession #75, last time I showered before this morning was last Monday!! ahahhaha!)

Then I spent a little time at the line for GSC. So glad that I did! The best RM5 I spent! Took opportunity of the European Union Film Festival and saw A Good Woman, starring Scarlett Johannson and Helen Hunt. Loved the film! So simple, so witty! Loved it when the old men talk about love and marriage. They were the funniest; trying to divert the woman's attention from their withering looks and age to their hefty money. heehee. Smart scripts.

Afterwards I went to Nina's office and just talked. Been a while since we last did that. Love Nina for showing much enthusiasm to every word I said about Harry Potter, House and some other things. Always the good listener, she is. (Always, always appreciate a good listener! So hard to come by.)
Then of course, at 5:30 she head back home as I trot towards my mom's office. Just killing time until Dida's ready to come pick us up from her work. (Such a bugger, having a workaholic of a sister.)

Then here comes the nasty part. As me and my mom walked towards the Putra commuter station, we were stalked and then stopped by this seemingly half-minded person who suddenly just asked, "awak duduk mana?" ("where do you live?") I was.. speechless as funny/stupid things race into mind. My mom, being the typical panic-stricken woman that she is, thought that we should turn around and well.. get help. Didn't know what she was thinking, turning her back (and pulled mine) on that man, but I wasn't exactly a big help there. I was more focused on his hands that were lingering at his pockets. As I dottily followed where ever my mom pulls me I kept thinking how easily that man could've hit the back of my head. *sigh* (By the way, that man was still tailing us all that time.)
And then! heehee. A colleague of my mom's walked by and she told him all about the creep and he talked that creep away. *cheer cheer!*
(Sorry, not a very good suspense-thriller writer, am I?)

** viewers discretion advised **
Then the more nasty part.. Dida, the damned lucky bastard. (Yeah, she's my sister, I know.. Well, SHE SUCKS!!) Just found out that she is likely to be posted in Rotterdam for six to eight months. Rotterdam!! Darned Rotterdam!! Right across the English Channel from United Kingdom! Some miles away from Paris!! ROTTEN-DAMN!!! *screams in distress - yet silently*

Extremely annoyed.

O well. But she's definitely in a good mood! Had a very nice dinner. heehee.

>> additional photos from Storytelling.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Confession #74

(Of course, that's only a randomly picked number. Even I don't spend any time trying to trace the times I've confessed something in public; blog = public)

I like it when people are being honest with me, when they are putting theirselves out, to become truly vulnerable to someone. But I have a hard time being vulnerable. I have a hard time even admitting that I feel vulnerable. If Jack says, "if you jump, I jump," I'd say, "I see the splash when you jump, then I jump."
It's like, when I like someone, I'd do things to make him guess that I have feelings for him, but I'd never actually tell him even though it's the easiest way to go with. Consciously I trust people with my feelings, subconsciously I can't trust people with my true feelings.
Like when people ask me if I'm being absolutely truthful in my blog.. I'd say "NO". (well, the real answer would be between me and this blog, now wouldn't it? heehee.)
I see no reason for people to mask their lives, when in truth I'm masking myself. Why the heck is that? Why do I talk in circles?

Okay, I won't be surprised if other people claims that they are having troubles with being vulnerable as well. I'm just pointing mine out because I'm a big 'supporter' of fairness. Being just is important to me. If you smack me, I'd smack you back; that's fair. So why should my vulnerability is any different from others'? Why can't I seem to pour my heart out when the other person is? Why can't I be FAIR??

Freud had said: instinct of love toward an object demands a mastery to obtain it, and if a person feels they can't control the object or feel threatened by it, they act negatively toward it.
Was that it? I feel threatened??
*grunts* Psychology is so confusing!

Transcripts.. House... makes you think! *sigh*

On a different note, I just can't stop smiling with tears in my eyes now. This is, of course what usually happens when I'm hyper-excited about something - and I AM! Just very very excited. heehee! My cheeks' muscle are getting tired now.
The cure for the common medical drama.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Miserably in love.

I've been thinking.. (no, it doesn't pain me. heh!) Who ever taught me that I need to be miserable to be happy? It's sick, I know.. but that's.. me. Exactly the reason why I enjoy myself better when I'm crushing over someone than actually being with that person. The idea of blindly adoring a boy for almost 2 years than being attached to him for 2 months. And I have a friend who can't be with someone who won't argue with her. So, what's wrong with people like us? I'm sure there's a book somewhere that would have a really smart description on my psychological condition, but until I find that book, I really wish to have a temporary explanation. Curious. Very curious, indeed.

I believe nobody is as interesting as yourself. (does that call as self-absorbed?) I'm only saying, no one's worth discovering until you discover yourself. *wink*

Getting back to where I've started from; a particular story that just pains me. An old guy, still in love with the woman he used to live with even though she's happily married with some other man. The woman loves both men but she can't stand being around the old guy. She was feeling guilty for something she had done a couple years ago and the old guy is punishing her for it. She was only trying to save his life, but he's blaming her for not following his clear "instructions". Well, it's a complicated thing, love. The old man is bitter and alone since then, yet he doesn't let anyone into his heart. Stupid. Stupid.

Point is, I don't want to be bitter and alone. I don't want to be miserable to be in love. And yet why can't I be in love without feeling miserable all the same? Why does the idea of paining myself for love doesn't bother me as much as it probably should? Some would argue that if it's love, if it's meant to be, you shouldn't be in pain at all! So why exactly am I what I am? Is an explanation possible at all? I'm miserable when in love, and perfectly fine when I'm not.
I'm... damaged, aren't I? I'm damaged even without ever being burned. I filled my head with ideas of perfection but it's nowhere near to perfect. Stupid. Stupid.
*sigh* Cheers to those who aren't in love.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


I'm definitely having my "annoyed days"; when I simply get irritated with everything and anyone for perfectly no reason. (No, it's not the time of the month.)
I suppose this time it's because of my not-so-healthy condition. (Inconsistant sleeping hours are getting the best of me?) Feeling lousy all over. And today I had a pain at a serious point. Felt like one of those stabbing sensation.

I really really need to get a check up done. (but I hate clinics and hospitals!!) For some reasons, sickness scares me. Quick, instant death doesn't seem to scare me as much as slow.. really slow death.
So what does that tell about me? *ponders*
Funny, I can't imagine myself dying in a bed. (But I don't want to die all bloody either!) heehee. Okay. Going to stop talking about dying now. I'm starting to scare myself..

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Slept very late last night.

Now I have extremely puffy eyes and a nasty sore throat. Remind me, why exactly did I checked on House spoilers?
Aah~ right, obsession.
I need to find a cure to boredom if I ever want to be obsessed-free. I swear, the only reason I am what I am is because of my constant need of a form of entertainment. (sounds dangerous, doesn't it?) As you might have guessed, I'm cranky because some things doesn't seem to be going my way. (don't know why the heck not! "My way" is definitely better!) I know, I know.. it's only a tv show. I'm fussing over a show, but what else can I obsess about if not tv shows?? Still think it's better than actually obsessing about a real person who doesn't deserve my time, nor my thoughts to begin with. (do I come off as somewhat bitter?) Kinda sounds like I am, eh? But I'm NOT! Bitter doesn't suit me. I may be mean, but bitter.. not possible. Anyways, getting back to my point that has been vague since I started this post; I really need to learn self-resistent. Give me boredom and a little resources.. I'd fall into the more-tempting dark world that should be easily described as "patheticness". note: I'm trying to make my words sound a little grander, if you hadn't noticed. A friend had quoted, "you have a unique sense of something" (when it comes to words.) Yeah, and she has a knack for tagging me by so many names, as the friend in question being Muz. I really need to get new friends.. but I'm annoyed by most people! gah! Just the other day I heard my sister answered politely to a semi-perverted guy who dialed her phone by mistake. To think, that I am even rude to the people I KNOW who calls me! I'm coming off rude and I have low-tolerance to sulky, incompetent salesperson who seem to think they're beeing funny when they can't answer my questions. I suppose most people are, but they try being nice and laugh at those dumb jokes. Not me, though. I show no mercy to eejits. I don't get why people work in services when they can't even spare a smile. Suppose there's that money issue: need cash badly, no matter what the job is. But God! People like that should be banned from services. What the heck were they thinking.. selling stuff with a gloom above their heads. Gits! See what I had just done? I was babbling, rambling and ranting.. and they were of 8 different topics, triggered by a simple dissatisfaction on one casual obsession. Just to show how bad it is. Obsession is not endearing, obsession is one way to see a desperation. And desperation is pathetic! (there's number 9 right there.)

Monday, November 21, 2005

I am glutted!!!

urrgh. My stomach's so full, my head hurts!! *grunts*

Went out for a celebratory dinner at Chili's. Yesterday was Mama's birthday and we couldn't celebrate it since Dida went to her colleagues' open houses all day.

Now I shall lay down in front of the telly and wait for the food to settle a bit. Dida prodded my tummy a few times after dinner and I don't feel too good since, the git.


Self resistence.

I HAVE to learn how one of these days.
Was bored, (by now you should know that I'd usually do things that I shouldn't have or babble endlessly when I get bored, but in this case;) I Googled on House. *grins*
(I'm hopeless, I know.. Muz reckons I'm a "social butterfly" for having a knack with seeing other people's relationship progression, but I believe she totally misused that term - I-AM-NOT A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY, thank you very much.) But I do have a knack in seeing chemistry between people - as long as I'm not included. My feelings blinds everything. Typical.

Anyways! How did I ever get tagged as experienced in relationships anyways?? Now to think about it.. Rai claimed that I was. And I used to know this girl who'd come to me for my thoughts on her potential-boy. Honestly! And everyone else have had better long-lasting relationship than I had. This is mind boggling!
Either they just didn't realize how pathetic I've been in my own social life, or they seem to think that I was smart. Really smart.
AHHAHAHHAHAHAH!! Hilarious. That can't possibly be it.

Eh, I went off course. House! I found this one site with the full season's transcripts. heehee. I know it should spoil my entire viewing experience, but I couldn't help it! Plus, I don't find it too wrong if I looked it up myself. Unless someone had told me about it without me even asking, I'd wallop that person's arse in an instant!
I'd say.. obviously the show has some brilliant script writers cause I have no problem laughing at them by just reading. Then I found this line.. bittersweet, don't you think?
"I thought you were too screwed up to love anyone. I was wrong. You just couldn’t love me. It’s okay. I’m happy for you."
Sorry if it gave out ideas.. just had to share this line. Period.

Anyways, here's McFLY's She Falls Asleep.
One sad song I love. If there had been a girl's voice in it, the song would've probably sounded more sad. Tom wrote this one. Said he's a fan of John Williams; explains the music, yeah? (sorry if you can't play it! not exactly sure how this works.)
[embeded file removed!]

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Another boring entry.

These are the stuff I have by my bed:
Books; Oxford Advanced English Dictionary, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, PS I Love You, Tuesdays With Morrie, my journal & black Pilot pen.
Headphone, two purses, old movie stubs, out-dated letters that I should have sent, A4 notepad, Starbucks' insulating sleeve, Hush Puppies "Favourite Shoes" catalogue, Post-It Index Flags, a Raya card someone had sent me, thumbdrive, and the latest copy of Elle Girl which I had bought just because of the person on the cover.

Heehee. I have lotsa junk apparently.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

One dark night.

What a long rainy evening it has been!
Was bored.. so I took some pictures of outside from my room window.

I know, you can barely see anything but it was taken by Dida's cool Palm Zire 71. (which has been my favourite gadget lately. I practically dominate this thing.)

Then I took pictures with my mom's Samsung Digimax 230. Bulky - which was the reason I retired it from my bag a couple of months ago. And it uses up the battery like madness!

But the pictures turn out better, of course! Actually I just found out that there's an option for "film" quality! heehee.

ISO 200

ISO 400

Dah.. enough yacking. I am SO bored.
G'nite world!

Read and think.

..I saw you and became empty.
This emptiness, more beautiful than existence,
it obliterates existence, and yet when it comes,
existence thrives and creates more existence!

The sky is blue,
the world is a blind man squatting on the road.
But whoever sees your emptiness
sees beyond blue and beyond the blind man.

..Why should we grieve that we've been sleeping?
It doesn't matter how long we've been unconscious.
We're groggy, but let the guilt go.
Feel the motions of tenderness around you, the buoyancy.

Excerpts from my favourute favourite poem at the moment, Buoyancy by Rumi.
Have a good day, people!

Friday, November 18, 2005

"Well done, moral fibre!"

Excellent day!! Well, may not have been as I hoped it would be.. but I don't have a lot to complain. Spent exactly 13 hours outside and I'm really really pooped! (But apparently not too pooped to hold this update 'til tomorrow.)

Although we had planned to watch The Legend of Zorro, due to some unavoidable circumstances we had to miss it. *sigh* To kill time, we went to KLCC! (which we later left at quarter to 5 so we wouldn't miss Harry Potter in GSC at 5:30 pm!) We yacked, we walked, and we met Muz' brooding guy friend whom she calles "Aries guy"; who most of the time makes me feel like I should give a good slap at the back of his head. (if I could reach it.) He's really not a bad guy, but he never smiles! Except this one time when I made him laugh.. at exactly 8:45 pm - yes, I wrote the time down.
Ooh, we saw Wardina at Coffee Beans around lunch!
click to enlarge!

Okay!! Now I shall talk about Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Harry Potter dan Gelas Berapi - believe it!) Surprisingly.. I can't complain! Really! I sort of loved it! I love Mike Newell!!! heehee. I thought it was bloody brilliant! Of course they left some things out, but they did most of the things I love in the book! The funny ones especially! Me liiike!! It was sort of odd in some way.. This one was both the funniest, yet the darkest of all four.
The best Harry Potter movie yet. SO much better than Prisoner of Azkaban. Although you sense that little rush that they need to get the film done for 2 hours and 37 minutes, I'd say.. THIS IS STILL THE BEST HARRY POTTER MOVIE YET!!!
Go see it! Go see it!!!
Emma and Dan was really really brilliant in this one. Just love them both! Too bad Rupert didn't get as much screen time as the other two. Ooh~ and the Phelps brothers!! (Weasley twins) Love them!! Ralph Fiennes.. ooooh~ I didn't exactly imagine Lord Voldermort looking like that.
Alright alright.. enough promoting. Go see it for yourself! Wouldn't wanna spoil your viewing pleasure. heehee.

(by the way.. I've finally found a dead Pak Arab poet that I can adore! - I've been adoring dead English/American poets all these while. Feels nice somehow! hihihi!)

Goodnight goodnight, world!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Trailing days..

heehee. The title would definitely NOT reflect the real entry for today.
Was bored, so I had spent the last couple of hours on Apple's movie trailer page. I can't believe the number of movies I'd like to see! If only I'd been living in the States, then I'd probably seen half of the movies on my list.
In Her Shoes (12th Jan,2006)
Elizabethtown (2nd Feb, 2006)
Prime (9th Feb, 2006)
Rumor Has It (9th Feb,2006) - Mark Ruffalo! heehee.
Yours, Mine & Ours - Danielle Panabaker as one of the kids!
Brokeback Mountain

(those are the dates when the movie will be released here)


I am rather giggly tonight, after seeing MTV's Never Before Scenes of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I know I shouldn't watch those things, but I can't help it!! I'm just SO anxious!!

Thursday is going to be SUCH a movie date for me and Muz. I've already booked Zorro 2 for the morning (yeah, we both haven't seen it) and Harry Potter for the afternoon; well, late afternoon more like. Can't wait!! Really excited.

Really really excited!! Have always wanted to waste money on multiple movies on the same day! Finally getting it! hihihihihi!

And now I shall wait patiently for Thursday.. and House on 2am! hihhihihi.
All giggly.
G'nite world!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

eh.. Disturbed...

Brokeback Mountain
Just found out about this movie. Really disturbing.
Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal?
*sigh* Such a sad saad day...
(but I heard the film is good! - very verrry good.)

Monday, November 14, 2005


my favourite doctors on television
I love talking about House. Everytime I think about the show.. I can think up of something philosphical. Looking forward to tomorrow for another episode on AXN. Another 8 episodes of this current first season. And since I know no self-resistant, I've looked up on some episode summaries and now I'm especially looking forward to the 20th episode!
(That's six weeks from now.. *sigh*)

Scary questions.

Hihi. Cik Ila just asked me one of the scariest questions I've ever met in my life.

Are you happy?

Hihi. (If you'd known me pretty well.. I usually dodge - or TRY to dodge "hard" questions with laughter.)
I'm a person of ideas.. to explain exactly my thoughts and what I feel would probably take half a day. Plus, "happy" is so abstract to me.
So, questions like "are you happy?" or "what are your plans?" or "are you in love?" just give me shivers most of the time.

But in attempt to answer your question, Cik Ila..
I am mostly happy. Of course there's room for me to be happier but I'll work on that sometime soon.

To fellow MMU students, good luck in the new semester!
And I'd like to give a shout out to my couzie Sarah who's starting her exam today! whooppee! Hope she'll do a great job! My sisters are blaming my batch for the horrible impression on the smaller couzies.
(There are seven elder ones in my extended family then there's me with my two cousins in the same batch. The elders did respectively great on their SPM and us three.. pretty much started the sucky ones. hehe!)

Sunday, November 13, 2005

These kids are SO grown up!

dan, emma and rupert!
Looking forward to next Thursdaayy! I indulged myself to a short clip from the film that isn't in the trailer and now I'm just so excited to laugh about it with Muz!

Three cheers!!!

Stupid Frank Lampard.

Gooooood Michael Owen!!
And Wayne Rooney.
And Steven Gerrard,
and Joe Cole.
(and who ever passed the ball to Rooney for the first goal - which I didn't get to see cause my mom was watching this lame Hindi movie on TV2)

Brilliant brilliant play at the last minutes. hihi.

New textbook.

That's what Tuesdays With Morrie shall be to me from now on.
Although the story left me pretty poignant once I finished reading it, I really reaaally hope I'd be able to see life as Morrie had seen it.

See. I've been told that I've kept my guard up all the time. And once, a guy told me that I am afraid of getting hurt. So! The question is, don't you have to be broken to be afraid?? Honestly, I don't remember being burned so how did I become.. broken? It doesn't make any sense!
And it just upsets me, reading all the time Morrie talks about love.
Well, I've forgotten what my point was when I started this but certainly.. I still have lots of things to figure out!

Okay. Moving on.. I got a silly short message at 12 am this morning! It was a birthday wish for me - which wasn't until next month!! *rofl*
Going to be nice here by not saying his name. But I kinda like the idea of embarrassing him a little by this post! hihi. Sorry.. too much temptation!

Good night, world!

Friday, November 11, 2005

A sorrowful day..

I'm very close to tears today. Reading about Morrie did something to me. Of course, I've never been too shy with my emotions, but Morrie made me realize how stumpy my feelings really are. I realize today that I still have a lot of things to learn.. to feel. I also realize that I haven't shown my true feelings to the ones I love.
So I hugged my mom. And I hugged my dad. I couldn't say any words, though. So I hoped that they had felt my heart going to them in the embrace.

And earlier today I was working on something dear to me. For some odd reasons I can't help but started to weep.
For these tears are a wise man, who had died long before I was born. His goodness will I remember and his wisdom will I try to follow.

"If you are going through hell, keep going."
- Winston Churchill.
 On this day, Morrie says he has an exercise for us to try.
We are to stand, facing away from our classmates, and fall backward, relying on another student to catch us. Most of us are uncomfortable with this, and we cannot let go for more than a few inches before stopping ourselves. We laugh in embarrassment.

 Finally, one student, a thin, quiet, dark-haired girl whom I notice almost always wears bulky white fisherman sweaters, crosses her arms over her chest, closes her eyes, leans back, and does not flinch, like one of those Lipton comercials where the model splashes into the pool.

 For a moment, I am sure she is going to thump on the floor. At the last instant, her assigned partner grabs her head and shoulders and yanks her up harshly.
 "Whoa!" several students yell. Some clap.

 Morrie finally smiles.
 "You see," he says to the girl, "you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too - even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling."

Home by half-ten.

Had an enjoyable day with Muz. Although she kept me waiting for almost an hour, it's really hard to be mad at her! She's simply.. one of the very few people that I give a rat's ass. (That pretty much translates as "one of the very few people that I listen to")

Anyways! Saw Just Like Heaven and loved it! I suppose you could say that it's a chick flick, but as Will Smith had said about his movie Hitch, I'd say this one is a "comedy romance" than the usual romantic comedy.
That Mark Ruffalo.. such a scruffy charming man - ME LIKE!! ekkeke! The film was fun. Lots of witty lines, such as "God made alcohol as a social lubricant. To make men brave, and to make women loose!" Who actually talks like that?? hihi.
Though it has a different ending than the original novel If Only It Were True by Marc Levy. So if you're planning on seeing this one, DON'T make the same mistake as I did! (I picked the book up in MPH some two weeks ago and flipped it through to the last few pages so I'd know how it ends. I know - it should be a CRIME!) I was slightly disappointed that it didn't end as the book did, but it wasn't so bad. GO SEE IT!

Checked around the bookstore and finally.. FINALLY!! I bought this book! Had always always wanted to own it, so FINALLY! Don't feel like reading it at my usual pace though. I'm going to take it slow and easy. Morrie.. wonderful wonderful man.

Spent RM83 the entire day. I'm coming to terms that I may never save a cent.

G'nite world!

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

About a boy.

I received a call from an old friend yesterday. Well, not exactly an old friend.. he was an acquaintance that got in touch with me since the past week or so.
I thought he was amazing! Well, maybe not really amazing, but amusing, definitely.
I never ever chatted with him or spoke a word with him. We had only started communicating through that Friendster messaging last week. Then we exchanged numbers and started smsing. So yesterday he called me and asked if I wanted to hang out. Being a very typical of me, I said "no" o'course. I even manage to make it come out pretty rude. And then, later that night he called again for a chat and surprisingly it was fun!

I never thought that we could actually talk for quite some time (until his battery died) when we've never exchanged words since.. ever! (we were classmates when we were 15) Later he smsed saying he had fun talking to me. hihi! How 'bout that..

It's been so long since I last talked to people outside my circle, I've forgotten how charming I could be.

G'nite world.

ooh~ update!
Your Blog Should Be Purple

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything.
You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.
You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

I find this amusing! I actually never used purple before.. hummm.. *pondering blissfully*

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


Irritated for being so uninspired and sodding lazy.

Trying to think of some theme to make a new layout for the blog. Getting tired of looking at myself too much. And don't you think the pic looks a bit depressing? Well, I think it's a little depressing. Don't know why the heck I like to take pictures of the top of my head. It's not even remotely attractive!

Going to pause all thoughts until I come up with a new layout.

hush hush.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire premieres... yesterday in London.(Malaysia time!)
How annoying.
And I have to wait for a whole 10 days before I get any chance of seeing it in the cinema. I expect that I'll complaint a lot once I've seen it, but the thought shouldn't hinder me from actually seeing it now should it?
I've already made plans to see it with Muz and she was shocked when I asked her yesterday. (I'm a terrible planner and she knows it!)

Hopefully she won't be too busy tomorrow. (Later today, I mean.) Kinda hoping to have lunch with her, though I haven't asked her yet. hehe.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

My whole darned body aches!!!

Try spending most of 15 hours in a car.

Me and the rest of the family went to Perak on 3rd Syawal. I suppose we didn't mean to stay in the car for that long, but Mama thought we should visit this one house that she'd never been to. Spent almost 2 hours just trying to find it!
Then, instead of heading straight back home Papa had promised to visit Cik Mohlis first. (Silent H! He's my father's brother anyways.) It was fine, but I hope everyone would just stop asking me when I'd finish school!! (ooh~ but Cik Mohlis gave me RM15 for duit raya! ahahha!! and Cik GG said that I have a nice figure! WAHHAHAHA!!)
Nina and Jasmin Abg. Min were supposed to spend the night in Shah Alam but something happened and they decided to go back to Seremban instead.

Sorry if this post doesn't make too much sense. My body just aches so bad, too much pain signals and my brain is left disabled to think of anything else.

I must've went speechless at least a dozen times since the past three days. Maybe I should stick a post-it on my forehead telling that everyone ought to stop asking me what I've been up to.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Sleepless in Shah Alam.

G'morning world!

I remembered my science teacher used to say; if you're insomniac; you can't get to sleep at night, you should refrain yourself from napping in the afternoon.
I knew she was right..
Yet I napped anyways!
Now I'm suffering the consequence.

First Raya was fine. Didn't get to see most of my uncs, aunties and couzies though. Me and the family head out at about 11 and once we got to Meru (that's in Klang, if you hadn't known) Papa phoned his brother and he told Papa that he and the rest were just about to go out and visit the rest of the extended family.
So we end up visiting that extended family members but never bumped into the couzies.
(Am I making any sense here?)

After that we went back home since Papa didn't feel too well.
But at 9pm, we (me, Dida and Mama) went off to see Wan-de in Keramat. Always liked visiting her 'coz she's a pretty fine cook! hihi. (Wan-de is my mom's eldest sister.)
Only head back home at 11!

Read today's horoscope on Friendster and I find it highly amusing!
Sagittarians can deal with just about anything. They can make a joke of it, laugh it off and move on. But there's one thing a Sag just can't stand to hear: 'If you loved me, you would.' In your mind, that translates into a threat to your personal freedom, and it definitely won't work. (It also sounds like a precursor to guilt, something else Sags can't stand.) Heaven help anyone who tries any of that on you now.

Finally remembered to download this.. a song which I simply ADORE!
Counting Down The Days by Natalie Imbruglia

You were right
And I don't wanna be here
If you're gonna be there
Was that supposed to happen?

I'll hold tight
I'll remember to smile
Though it has been a while
And without you does it matter?

There's no room
No place to start
When our souls are apart

I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here
I'm counting down the days

How've you been?
It's just the usual here
And days are feeling like years
And every day's without you

Now I cry
Just a little too much
When I think of your touch
And everything about you

I feel cold
I'm in the dark
When our souls are apart

I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here

I'm counting down the days

I'm gonna be your surprise
I'm gonna hold you so tight

I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
I'd hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here

A million miles away from here

Btw, to those who smsed me well-wishes these last few days, I promise I'll send a reply as soon as I can! hihi.

Thursday, November 03, 2005



To my favourite favourite people,
Sorry if I'd done anything so wrong that I actually have to be sorry for. hehe!
I'm sure if there's any, I didn't mean to. Really.

To everyone else,
Hope you'll have loads of fun, good food and duit raya!!
Remember, my birthday is next month! ahahahha!!

Take care all!

Monday, October 31, 2005


Man, why the heck did the show had to be cancelled after one season. *sigh*
I'm so SO SOOO glad that Eric and Jaye end up together (sort of) in the end! It just gives off the impression that you really don't need to chase love; that if things are meant to be.. it will be!

Goodnight world!

Thoughts by The Uninspired. © 2014

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