Wednesday, September 28, 2005


Here's a funny thing, this morning I had no recollection of actually getting to sleep. My father woke me up at noon and I was surprised that my glasses is still on the bridge of my nose. And then I looked beyond my pillow, I found that I didn'e even put the cap of my pen back on. For a moment, I was in awe..

I fell asleep while writing?

Me and my dad just went to the stadium to get this Saturday's football ticket. Really looking forward to seeing the match in Bukit Jalil! Hope that Muz would come around too. hehe!

Okay.. nothing else to say now.
Buat cik Ila, hope everything works out for you! Sorry that I wasn't being too well of a conversationalist. I'm a child of wee morning; I talk better at 4 am than 9. hihi!

Alright people.. take care!!
Selamat maju jaya. *wink!*


Selangor won! Selangor won! Selangor won!!
They were fantastic!! The fans were fantastic!! I am so darn lucky to grow up in Shah Alam and heck proud of it too!!
(I sort of promised to cut down cursing if they won, though. It was a little bit of a blur.. the ball was so close to Selangor's side and I got so worried so words somehow jumbled through my mind, "Oh God, if you make them miss the goal I'd stop cursing so much," and Perak did! So I better cut it down a notch. hehe! Call me religious. ekekkeke!!)

The experience was AMAZING. Honestly, you can't get any better football experience than being among the 80 000 Selangor and Perak supporters. Just amazing!!

The only downside to it was getting to the stadium. Me, Dida and our dad went out at 7:15 pm (the match starts at 8:45 pm) so we thought that should be early enough to get a good parking space and seats. *big laugh here!* We were SO wrong! The traffic was horrible so we parked like.. 8 minutes away from the stadium - if you walk slowly - which we didn't! We walked in a really fast pace, and once we got to the stadium we walked a little more to the other side which me and Dida like to call as "Selangor fanatics' side". (It's usually where the drumming sound comes from.) Anyways, once we got to that side we just couldn't see any empty seats, except for the ones at the top most section!! Suppose everyone had came in as early as 6 pm. So there we were, sweating like pigs.. panting like crazy.. wheezing like asthmatics.. climbing up those stairs and finally settled at the 84th row! 84TH!!!
And now you might think that we wouldn't shout crazy at those height.
You would be very wrong.

I'm now convinced that I shall never bring a future spouse to come along when I watch football. It's a very ugly sight. I shouted words that had never passed my lips ever before! I blamed the tension. I was really tensed coming to the match. I always worry whenever Selangor plays Perak, and last Saturday was the worst.
But from Saturday's match, it was clear that Selangor was the better team. The two had the same amount of matches since the past month, but they seemed more resilient. Both teams seemed tired at the second half but hey, Selangor won! I was only joking when I told Dida that Selangor should score 4 goals to ensure a win, never thought that they could really score four goals! We were really tired, shouting, jumping and screaming - plus flag waving, but it was all worth it. All thanks to our imported strikers; Indonesian Bambang and Elie Aiboy plus Argentinian Fuentes. (Fuentes is my favourite player right now despite that he missed to score a goal after a bad finish that night.)
Great times.

So the match ended around 10:50 pm but we only got home at 2 am! Okay, we did went for a bite at A&W (PJ) but the traffic coming out from the stadium was terrible. Must've spent like one and a half our in the jam, but it was amusing! At one point we were side by side with a bus packed with Perak supporters and they seemed really cool. They did some signs with their hands but NOT rude ones, so I kinda like them! (Oh well, I can't really hate people from Perak now, can I? My mom IS after all from Tapah Road.) Oh, I do love Perak supporters. They were good sport!

So now, Monday morning. I'm still nursing my slightly hoarse voice.
Today's goal: get out of bed, shower, look through classifieds, continue writing the letter for Azraai, get a move on project, meet up with Muz in Central.

Looking forward to the MALAYSIA CUP!!
Selangor vs. Perlis on October 1st, 2005 at Bukit Jalil Stadium.

This was written at 3:51 am on September 26th, 2005

Oh heck, maybe I'll just go crazy.

I think I should just send my CV to that off-shore oil rig thing. Brilliant if I get it, but pefectly fine if I don't. What's the point of chickening out before you start, eh? Plus, my life motto is currently DARE TO BE GREAT. hihi!
I'm daring, alright. Not so sure about that great part just yet.

I suddenly remembered the email I got from one of my bestfriends. She sort of jolts my memory of who I am inside.
Okay, to start off with let me tell you that I like to give long emails to my friends. I'd write stuff like what was going on in my life. (Emails are definitely the only form of communication that I have with my friends these days.) I'd babble a lot in the email but when we get together, they would miss on nothing about me thus, plenty of stuff to talk about.
So my last update for them was when I told them how badly I was doing at school and reckoned that I ought to find a job. Odd enough, they all got worried for me and was rather sympathetic - somehow. hihi! (I can't figure out why they felt that way.)
Anyways! Then Dayat replied saying something like; "it's great that you can always find things that make you bounce back."

Maybe I am a happy person after all, but if I am.. how come I can be so nasty sometimes? Don't you think it's just weird?? Well, I think it's weird. I am so bitter and spiteful sometimes, but some other times I just can't think of any excuse to think bad of anyone. Just.. odd.
Maybe I'm suffering from split personality.


By the way, I just finished writing my CV and you know.. for someone who hasn't finished her degree, I wrote quite a decent one! I SO feel like Rosie Dunne now. Except that I get a little upset when I saw my MUET result slip. Just 5 more points to get Band 5! grrr.
Listening: 39/45
Speaking: 31/45
Reading comprehension: 105/135
Writing: 40/75
ahahhaha! I did writing the worst but I have a perfectly good reason, so I'm not terribly worried. Upset, but not worried.

This was written at 1:32 am on September 24th, 2005
Edited at 2:54 am of the same day.

A quickie but not so much.

I haven't been into any interviews since the last one I told you about. It's not that I'm backing away from that thought of working, but I have to be honest.. I'm definitely more appreciative over my time being a bum. hihi!
I think I'll try for a job that my mom would protest on, like being a crew on a cruise ship for instance. I should apply no later than October 3rd, so I have a little more time to think about it. Just the other day I saw an ad to work on one of those off-shore oil rig, but for some reasons I can't find the ad anymore. Maybe I should take it as a sign. Dida had once been onto one of those oil rig off Terengganu and she said there were all male. So when she walks by, they'd all turn their heads - not having seen a girl for the past half of month.. maybe! (All I know, that's how their working hours.. 12 hours for 2 weeks, then they'll have the next two weeks off.) Well, I don't think working along men would be so much of a problem but.. maybe it will. I'd hate to get so concious over nothing!
I still hope that I'll find the ad though. Man, the pay is good! 200+ US Dollars per DAY! I'd pay off my loan in minutes!

I suppose I shouldn't be so picky (or rebellious) about the job. Any sort of income should be good and I'm more to looking for the experience anyways! So if nothing else works out, I'll start applying for one of those simpler jobs like a waitress, barista or receptionist. Unglamorous, I know - something you wouldn't want to talk about in a high school reunion, but I'm in dire need to meet more people, and hopefully, odd ones.
If only there's a circus in town I can join; should be really interesting!

Since I'm getting more and more serious about writing, I reckon that I should go to more places and just see more people - for inspiration purposes. hehe! I mean, I can't talk about people that is actually in my life - they'd be upset if I shall decide to kill them off in my writing! hihi. (not that I'm planning to.. just in case!)
I haven't written anything in two days and it's not because of that so called "writer's block". I'm just too lazy to pick up the pen. It's horrible, I know.

You know, this writing thing really scares me. If it doesn't work out.. then I'm clearly untalented and was born with absolutely no skill. Wouldn't that be just sad??
Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not really scared - I lied. I was trying to be a bit negative but failed. One way or another, writing IS my thing. So if novels don't work out, I'll apply for secretarial work! ahhahaha!!

For some reasons I'm in a pretty dandy mood this morning.
By the way.. the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary of Current English '84 print is my good friend these days. I know, I hardly ever use any words that you need to refer to a dictionary, but I just had to be sure about the words that I use or read.

Selangor vs. Perak tomorrow. Can't wait!!!

This was written at 3:47 am on September 23rd, 2005.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005


It's almost 6 am and I can't sleep!
For some reasons, I just can't stop worrying about my birthday.
My birthday!! Which is in DECEMBER!!
My freakin' birhday!!!
Damn, "worry" must be my natural instinct these days.
*grunt in distress*

I know it's September, and definitely too late to change my resolution, but I've got half of this year's done so I decide to make a new one.. like an update, version 1.1 of this year's resolution:

Original resolution as exactly written in my diary
1. get my grades up!! - which we all know now how impossible that is.
2. be totally independent 'coz other people sux!! hahhaha. - I'm not exactly 'totally independent' but I'm perfectly fine going out and do things by myself, so that's half done.
3. get plenty of ME time - managed that.
4. save up money. - failed that, some things are just not meant to be.
5. not to get mixed up in stupid depressing things. - passed that with flying colours! I actually manage to be depressed-free this year! (up to this moment at least!)

New resolution
1. find a job that I'd be willing to stay for 3 months.
2. decide studies options.
3. achieve number 1 and 2 before I turn 21.
4. write 300 200 pages of current idea/project.
5. not getting stressed out on my birthday.

Writing is going okay these couple of days. Muz and Dayat gave positive response when I showed them my early "draft", but I don't think I'll show them to my family members YET because they speak better English and I HATE getting corrected for my lousy grammar. I've finally figured out what the story is about. I'm dreaming about being interviewed, HA-HA! I feel like pissing, somehow I'm getting more jittery.
It's cold, I'm going to piss now.

This was written at 5:51 am on September 21st, 2005.

I'm chopping my head off.

Okay, not exactly my head, but my hair, definitely. As pretty as I think I am with long hair, I've turned completely bored with it. I've come to a conclusion to finally butcher my hair off, YEAYYY!! Just wished I had some extra money lying around so I can colour my hair electric pink. Alright, maybe not pink because that would go just horrible with my skin tone - red, then. Electric red, that'd be wonderful!! But of course, I don't have any extra money lying around.

I think my dad is really interested with the things my sister does on her job, but I find Dida pretty much couldn't bother less to actually tell him about it. Hummm..

Talking about jobs, I seriously need to find one. I know I should be busy looking for one, now that I've actually went to a real job interview, but somehow I just got comfortably stuck in front of the telly. I am such a couch potato! Dayat thinks that I should apply for some sort of a show-reviewing job, if there is one. I think there is, but somehow I never saw them advertised. *sigh* That really ought to be the perfect job for me.

By the way, I am so so broke. Just the other day I planned on buying something for Rai because he told me to (I didn't wish him his birthday - yeah, yeah.. I'm a horrible friend, get over it!) But I saw Cecelia Ahern's new book and I bought that for myself instead!! ahhahaha!! I have to be honest here, I really do prefer spending money on myself than doing so on other people. If you think that's a selfish act, well, that's not my problem. (bitchy mode, notice?) Anyways, I was out with 75 Ringgit in my purse that day, and got home with only 10 Ringgit left. I swear, money just fly off when they're with me.
Eh, actually it wasn't my fault that I had that unplanned shop. It was all MPH's fault! Freakin' bookstores are a curse!
Wanie: I thought there's a 20% off?
Cashier Lady: Yes, 20% off if you're an MPH member. Do you have a card?
Wanie: Ohh.. no.
Cashier Lady: Are you still buying?
Wanie: Uh.. OK.

Thus, this whole incident result to a little curse under my breath as I hit my head with my knuckles for spending money so carelessly again - as Dayat laughed on at me. (I'm partly convinced that my friends only loves me for their own entertainment purposes.) Oh right, plus it reminds me just the hell why I preferred Kinokuniya more - NO STUPID MEMBERSHIP STUFF!

I think Cecelia Ahern is obsessed with letters and people who can't spell. Both of her book revolves on that particular subject. Her new book is called Rosie Dunne and it was just as fantastic as her debut novel. I thought the format was a bit confusing, but just as PS, I Love You, the characters she created were simply lovable. Though Rosie Dunne didn't make me cry, I think the ending is just too sad for me to read the book again. Really sad. At least I thought so. Maybe I should give Nina to read it and we'll see if she thinks the same way..

Can't believe that I'll be 21 in a few months. I think if alcohol is actually legal for me, I'd probably drown myself in it on my birthday. (Disclaimer: I don't really want to drink alcohol, please believe me!) I thought it'd be the best way for me to forget that I'll be a year older and yet no where closer to any sort of an achievement. I critically need to put that out of my mind. *sigh*

Dayat told me that her dad actually told her to find a man. I was.. speechless when she said that. (Okay, that's a lie. I'm rarely speechless! The only certain way to make me quiet is to put some guy I have a crush on beside me. So yeah, maybe if Danny is right next to me I'll be totally mute.) I have to say that I was mostly amazed that her father told her that. Maybe because the idea of me getting married would probably kill my dad. Honestly, Nina leaving the house had already broke his heart. (Well, that might be because she's actually the good daughter! ahhahaha!)
Meeting Dayat the other day confirms the theory that I've spent half of my life waiting for the people I care about; wait for them to come pick me up, wait for them to come home, wait for their call, wait for a letter, wait for them to finally say something, wait for them to say sorry, wait for them to finally get there when I've been waiting for forty freakin' minutes!! Dayat was so late that day, I should've charged her 1 Ringgit for every minute she had kept me waiting.
Other than that, she's a great person! So whomever with *cute little nose likes to get to know an almost 21 year old, emotionally immature, incapable of story-telling yet tremendously funny girl, give me a call and I'll set you up on a date! heehee!
(* Dayat likes to look at people's noses, we love her, but she is a little odd. But then again, aren't we all?)

My really old ex called me the other day but I didn't answer.
Polite reason: there's only one bar left on my battery so I'd hate to get cut off in the middle of a conversation.
Honest reason: I just don't want to.
Both of those reasons are true. Sometimes I don't know why I can be so mean. Okay - because I am. Maybe I'll answer his call around next year. I just hope the next time we talk he'll mention about a new lady he met or something like that. I just hate it when a nice boy comes along and wants to be with me 'coz I hate breaking their hearts if I tell them I hate it when people are around too much - they suffocate and a big bore. I hate empty conversations because they're absolutely pointless, and I absolutely hate being silently requested to care more when I simply can't!
So that's the truth. No point of beating around the bushes anymore. Take note!

This is an odd morning. For some reasons I feel like sharing all my thoughts in this entry.
But I'm not going to.

Two football matches to look forward to!!
FA Cup Final, Selangor vs. Perak in Shah Alam Stadium on September 24th and;
Malaysia Cup Final, Perlis vs. Selangor in Bukit Jalil Stadium on October 1st.
ooh~ I hope Selangor will win both!! That's something to see.

Alright, I should write some stuff down in my diary. Later!

This was written at 3:55 am on September 20th, 2005.

"Heroes loses first.."

- Then rises for a total win, so Dida said.
She was of course, referring to the Selangor football team.
(Really, we've been watching too many football matches these days that you can look for us at the stadium on football nights!)
Eh, but of course, Selangor fans are too many that to actually find us in the stadium would be close to impossible. Heh! I just love going to the stadium. There's just something about people of all ages coming together to a place with very bad air quality (because people smoked!) and shout vulgar words to the players who couldn't possibly hear what you said. Hihi! It all seemed amusing and amazing somehow.

So here's what I have to say about this season's team. At first, they were more like lucky to have qualified to this stage. I thought they really played horrible. They had no sense of skill, yet somehow they managed to get to the finals - so what else can you say if it wasn't luck? But after seeing Selangor playing Terengganu last Wednesday, I'd have to say that they are improving. Slightly, but improving nonetheless. The heck they should! More Selangor fans have been coming to the stadium to support the team. Selangor will be playing Terengganu again for the Malaysia Cup second semi-finals this Saturday, and against Perak on September 24th for the FA Cup finals in Shah Alam Stadium. I'm really looking forward to it even though I am a bit worried. Perak and Selangor.. well, if you ever cared about Malaysian football scene, you should know that they've been close contenders for so many years. They just have that history together. Very worrying.

To make things more "interesting", Perak and Selangor are the only remaining teams to compete for both FA Cup and Malaysia Cup - just to show that the two are the strongest teams. So no wonder if they seemed to get easily tired than Terengganu or Perlis in the semi-finals. But all is good for the FA Cup finals since they're going to be equally tired! Hehe.

Now I'm going to elaborate why Dida said that "heroes loses first." (A good example of heroes that loses first: Ultraman, Power Rangers, and practically every hero really.)
Selangor is so used to let the oposing team score first - like Negeri Sembilan, they scored 3 goals and at the last few minutes Selangor scored 3 goals and ended up winning the Premiere League by the penalty shot.
Selangor versus Perak in Malaysia Cup quarter-final, Perak scored a goal and Selangor managed to draw the game just moments before the refferee blew his whistle.
Their next match, Penang scored one goal in the first half of the game, but Selangor won when they scored two goals.
Selangor versus Selangor Public Bank on their second semi-finals of the FA Cup, Selangor Public Bank goaled first, and Selangor beat them with three goals and heads for the finals.
Last Wednesday, Terengganu scored at the 5th minute of the game.. and Selangor just had to reply with three goals!
I seriously don't get just why they had to let the oposing team score first, but it only confirms that the hero must lose first. Hihi.
Go Go Red Giants!!

I'm sure half of you would rather read something else than me talking about football, but honestly I have nothing much else to talk about. I'm halfway through writing a long letter for Rai (because I owe him that) so I'd hate to repeat too much of the things that's been happening around.
I really miss writing. But I'm in a major writer's block so the only things I can write are letters and this blog. How pathetic.

Oh right, Dida has taken a sudden interest to watch Land Of The Dead. I'm not really against anything scary like ghosts or zombies, alright, that's a little understatement. I HATE ghosts, the thought of them makes me restless at night but I do love watching scary movies somehow. I'd cry, but I still watch them. (which usually got my dad irritated) I told Dida that Land Of The Dead is about zombies but she still wants to see it once it comes out.
I'm not exactly scared by zombies because they're simply illogical, but the thought of them just makes me really sad. Really, watching Resident Evil and Dawn Of The Dead leaves me feeling really sad. Why can't they just die?! I mean, the thought of seeing a loved one turning into something neither living nor dead is just sad. I suppose it's a similar feeling to deciding if you should or should not turn off the life-support system of someone who has turned completely into a vegetable.
Well, that's how I think of it.

Man, I miss my boys.

This was written at 8:31 pm on September 15th, 2005.

"It'll be you and me up in the tree"

And we'll be swinging around like monkeys.
Pardon me, I'm having a bad mood but I just can't forget Marty Casey's song. I thought it sounded really good. (Marty Casey, one of the five remaining in Rockstar:INXS)

It's 3 o'clock in the morn and I can actually recall two songs with that time in the lyrics. What's with 3 am, anyways? I think I wrote a fine song with "2 am" in it. So maybe that's where I got it wrong.
It's raining outside, and the rest of my family is already asleep. I'm sort of just killing my time typing this out while Northern Ireland versus England on the TV.
I think my life has just turned really boring in one night.
I'm even sorry that Rai called when I was having a bad night. Now I owe him a long email.

So Dida told me that Nina wasn't coming on Friday, so we won't have that family dinner after all. Dida planned on having it at this pretty classy place in Subang - which we had only went once, but I just absolutely adore! Well, I adore it because I love the food - steak!! I absolutely love meat! Don't know what I'd do if I had to go on a strict no-meat diet. Anyways, the last time we went was on Papa's birthday, and since then I've been dreaming of coming there again! So I was really excited when Dida told me earlier this week that we'll be having dinner there again. But now Nina has cancelled.. I can practically see a cow running off excitedly knowing that he's got another day to live. Damn lucky cow.

This has been the longest duration I've been in a writer's block, and I'm getting more pissed with myself.
I'd usually have really smooth writing or I won't start at all! This is really.. hard and frustrating. I suppose there is a difference between the pressure I'm in right now and the last time I really wrote anything. Trying to write something good after reading PS,I Love You is so freakin' hard!! Really. And Cecelia Ahern was 22. So she's the Ireland prime minister's daughter, but I'm coming to 21 and I've achieved absolutely nothing!!
Except if there's anyone who thinks having three boyfriends that lasted for no longer than three months, and one of them didn't even last 24 hours is an achievement! (Who am I kidding? Less than 24 hours WAS an achievement! I can practically hear my friends laughing at the story again.)

Okay, I know. Life is not all HA-HA everyday, but I'm really really frustrated here!
Damn, Owen wasted Gerrard's pass and practically gave N. Ireland's keeper the ball!
So.. 20 years and 9 months just made me realize.. that I can really laugh at almost everything that went wrong in my life. And I do realize that I keep thinking that everything will somehow turn out fine for me. (I know, an idiotic idea! I'm practically gambling with life.) I realize that sometimes I am too "honest" for my own good - just the other day I said to my mom that it's probably best that I get terminally ill so I won't have to worry about money. She doesn't think it was funny and started to nag. And now I'm really convinced that I have a serious commitment issue. Really; my dear Atuk in Form 2, MMU, those people I know from there, ohh, and Arep.

I know I've been talking a lot about him, but I think he's a great reminder of what sort of a person I am.
The fact that I know he'll be around if I needed him, pretty much bores my thoughts. (Maybe I should tell him that?) Actually, every man that walks into my life and shows a little more potential than the others turns out to bore me. And I know how getting together with someone just for the sake of getting together feels, so even though I can be mean, let's not go there again. Somehow, rather than looking for some security, the picture of certainty freaks me out. You may think that I've been burned by love, but not really! Admitting to that would be a lie. I can laugh off at every single unsuccessful relationships I've had easily since I know exactly what I did wrong. So! This concludes that commitment does scare some people.
I can't write, I can't study, no jobs (yet!), I can't fall in love with a real person, I have no money, now really!!
How can I still laugh at those facts when I should be praying for that terminal illness to finally kick in so my life would be "complete".

Ohh, my job update: I turned that last one down. I think if I'm going to have to walk around places, I better have a camera man following me around like those people in Globe Trekker. But right now I'd probably should look for a job that doesn't tire me out so much. But I have to say, that was the sweetest experience I've ever had!

JAG's final episode of the season sucked!! Can't believe they let it just hang there. At least I was expecting a hanging finish for Lost, but JAG?? JAG's was worst!

Did I mention that I went to see Selangor versus Penang last Saturday? It was upsetting, despite that they won.
Selangor's fans sucked!!!
Can't believe that I sat around those people. Really disappointing. They were like monkeys coming out of the woods, only monkeys were better. I think they behaved more like moronic bastards. (pardon the languange.) Selangor managed the second goal, so what did they do?
- They jumped on their seats with the sole purpose of smashing it so they could throw it into the tracks.
So tell me, how can't I stop cheering and shout at them instead? You see, drinks flying I can handle. Vandalism in front of my face? That's too much! I love my freakin' state, and especially my boring city of Shah Alam.
Damn, and Northern Ireland just goaled.
So when this Indons (yes, Indons - probably just rooting for that Aiboy and Bambang fella) started bashing at the seats, I just felt the sudden urge to kick their faces. But then, you know.. starting a fight is just as bad as vandalising so I just shout my head off through the cheer, which they heard and then stopped bashing. Which was great, or I wouldn't be able to keep my hands by my side any longer.
So later Dida said that she got worried for me when I shouted at those men. She said bad things might have happened if they carried a weapon of some sort. You never know, she claimed. Now that I think of it, it would be okay if shouting at those morons were the last thing I do. Honestly, I wouldn't mind.

I hate bad moods. It just made me remember of all the bad things that has happened in the past week. Lousy lousy feeling.
I miss McFLY. The Store Lady reckons that the CD will only be available in two weeks since it's not released in Malaysia yet. I hate that.
McFLY sort of reminds me of Will Young. He won the Pop Idol in the UK, yet it was Gareth Gates that got to go on tour. (Gareth Gates got second place.) McFLY won the Brits Award last year, yet most of the people here didn't know who they were until I started talking too much of them - and yet, you people must've heard of Rooster by yourself.
I think I'm the sort of person who'd talk about something excessively until other people started to talk about it too, because I'm thinking about Good Charlotte. I used to talk about them just as much as I talk about McFLY these days, and then they got more famous and you start to listen their songs playing on the radio and I just stop talking about them.
God, I hope I won't shut up about McFLY anytime soon! I kinda like the fact that I'm the only one crazy for them in Klang Valley right now. Hehe!

Now I'm wondering, do you think by reading my blog made you know me a little better?

This was written at 4:29 am on September 8th, 2005.

Q: Are you willing to do do the work after the day's training?

A: Undecided - closer to a no.

So I hated the job I'm supposed to do. Absolutely hate it, no doubt! But Mr. Boss - Johnny really thought I should try it for two weeks. Ahhahaha!! Really, does my sincerity by any chance charmed any of you? It seems to work on Johnny - he actually laughed and said, "cute answer" when he read my answer in the questionaire. It's really odd! I would've thought that he'd want someone who'd be sure to work for him, and I clearly wrote, "closer to a no".

Dida said probably he saw my confidence talking to him since I had nothing to lose. She had a point, really. I think people would fidget more during interviews if they had really wanted the job so badly. I mean, I saw today the work I should be doing and I simply can't see myself doing it from nine to five, five days a week. Really, it's just crazy! So I was really relaxed for the second interview and laughed quite a lot with Johnny despite I sweated like a pig through the day and my purdah (really, it's the typical tudung but "purdah" is actually a word from the English dictionary!) was askewed.
I'm trying to quit school so I can actually start doing something I absolutely love, and if I take the job.. it's like that Malay saying about running away from the mouth of a vicious predator and into another vicious predator's mouth. (I know, it's supposed to be about two particular animals but I just can't remember it!)
So here's a tip: if you're looking for a job, don't think too much of how you want it so bad. Because,
1. you don't want to get too nervous on the interview. It's bad enough if you don't think you'd qualify for that hot position, you just don't need to stumble on your words. Confidence are freaking important, really! REALLY!
2. that job you ask for might just be not what you had expected earlier.

Now, just so you'd be so amazed by my "surprisingly talented interview abilities", I turned up at the office in the morning to find that I was the only Malay and female that made into the second interview. I feel awesome!! There were like five other guys and I sat at the end of the sofa, trying to make friends with Chong, the one who sits next to me.
Then Johnny came out, and assigned each one of us to a more senior employees to teach what we'll be doing if we get hired. So I got this guys Peng Koon and David. I think it was highly amusing!

So I was specifically assigned to Peng Koon, and he kept asking me to just shoot away if I had any questions. Right.
"So Peng Koon, you're a Virgo?"
Ekkekeke! Honestly, I must've turned dotty after a while in the sun!
Anyways, the two boys were cool. I think they did fantastic, showing me around. And I had a really unusual observation today. Peng Koon was Virgo, David was Aries; even though I'm supposed to follow Peng Koon around, I was seriously drawn to David despite he litters and was really disgusting! Really really disgusting. How odd was that?? Suppose David was really polite to me even though he's disgusting.
That's another observation I made - Aries are always polite! To me at least.
Hanis, Arep, Dar and David. (Yes, I do think you fellas were pretty polite to me.) Hanis never even made a joke about me to my face! Nor Arep, but of course if he did that I'd kick his sorry arse! Rai, Muz and Dayat does it all the time!! It's a ritual for them!
Note to self: Plan having an Aries kid so he/she'd be polite to me. Yeayy! (I'd be horrified to get a Sagittarius or Cancer or Capricorn!) Man, I do seem to need to plan this out.

Moving on: So later today I suppose, I should be meeting Johnny in the morning and tell him what I really think about this whole job thing. I was so amazed when he said I was great (honest, he really said "you're great") that I just said "yeah" when he then said, "see you tomorrow?"
I am so gullible! It's awful!!

So I'll be back to reading the Classifieds in the paper again.. Yeayy!! (I absolutely love circling the ads! Felt so cool!)
Unless my mom decides to force me back into continue studying in MMU - which is definitely on the top of my "Feared List"!
Waaarrrghhh! I hate losing more time!

On the way coming home Dida thought of buying a Rhumba, (I am such a bad influence! I AM good at making people start spending money.) Since we're at Plaza Shah Alam (the one in Section 9), I asked Dida if we could see the music store if Wonderland is in yet. The store clerk hadn't had any clue who the heck McFLY is! (Grrr) But then he asked, "would you like to order for it?" I could've sworn I heard fireworks in my ears.
Wanie: Is there any extra charge?
Store Guy: No, we just charge you for the CD price.
So then I said "okay!" in that chirpy uncontrollable high-tone of mine. The guy went to the counter and said something to the Store Lady.
Store Lady: You have to put in a deposit to order.
Wanie, turning to the lovely sister of her's: Dida, there's a deposit to order.
Dida: How much?
Wanie, turning back to the Store Lady: How much?
Store Lady: 10 ringgit.
Wanie, with absolutely no shame: Dida, 10 ringgit please!
And with that ten Ringgit, I have now a piece of paper that said McFLY Wonderland CD, Wanie 019-39*****. Excellent!! I know I just got a small paper, but it's just as excellent!!
So now I'll just wait for their call! Ooh call me! Call me soon!! I'll just die if I had to wait for months and months for the CD!!

Okay, I am awfully pooped right now. Hopefully I'd be able to use my legs by this morning, as it's been threatening to pop out since the afternoon. It'd be just horrible if I get paralyzed even for one day!

Sorry I was late for yesterday, Muz.
Dayat, I hate you.
Miss you loads, Hanis!
(I'm coming to miss the four of us together when I'm especially tired. Sorry.)

This was written at 12:47 am on September 6th, 2005.
Edited at 7:27 pm of the same day.

Friday, September 02, 2005

A ring at 9:35 am.

God, it's a wonder how I could even hear it when I only got to sleep two hours before. Maybe I was sort of expecting it. You know Jupiter - bringer of a world's worth of luck!
As House would've said - "I should never doubt myself."

So I got the phone call.
The one that tells me to come over for a second interview and a job briefing after that.

I am so pumped!! You have to excuse me, I felt really bad some hours after that interview. Been paining myself, thinking what I should've said, all those witty remarks I could've made.
So on Monday, I'll make myself more presentable so they have absolutely no excuse to turn me down! I mean, honestly, I was all scruffy that day. Muz said I dressed so casually. Really bad first impression - unless they were looking for an English-speaking idiot like me after all!

I suppose it wasn't just luck that got me the chance for the second interview, but you know what they say..
You are your very worse critic.
And Muz "kindly" said that they must've seen something interesting about me, maybe my looks - 'coz it couldn't be the brain. Yeah, my friends are so NICE.

Anyways, Danny has a new guitar! Looks like his old one, but it's totally white! So glad that I have a video of their (McFLY) latest performance on CD:UK! So so happy!!
So so excited for the next interview!!

And this sounds appropriate for my anthem now:
I'll Be Okay by McFLY

When everything is going wrong
Things are just a little strange
It's been so long now
You've forgotten how to smile

Now overhead the skies are clear
But it still seems to rain on you
And your only friends
All had better things to do

When you're down and lost
And you need a helping hand
When you're down and lost along the way
Just tell yourself I..
I'll be okay

Now things are only getting worse
And you need someone to take the blame
When your love is gone
There's no one to share the pain

You're sleeping with the tv on
And you're lying in an empty bed
All the alcohol in the world
Would never help me to forget

When you're down and lost
And you need a helping hand
When you're down and lost along the way
Try a little harder
Try your best to make it through the day
Just tell yourself I..
I'll be okay

You're not alone..

Just tell yourself I..
I'll be okay
Won't you tell yourself?

When you're down and lost
And you need a helping hand
When you're down and lost along the way
Try a little harder
Try your best to make it through the day
Just tell yourself I..
I'll be okay

Thoughts by The Uninspired. © 2014

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