Thursday, May 06, 2010

Hey you..

"What is it? My dear?"
"Ah, how can we bear it?"
"Bear what?"
"This. For so short a time. How can we sleep this time away?"
"We can be quiet together, and pretend -- since it is only the beginning -- that we have all the time in the world."
"And every day we shall have less. And then none."
"Would you rather, therefore, have had nothing at all?"
"No. This is where I have always been coming to. Since my time began. And when I go away from here, this will be the mid-point, to which everything ran, before, and from which everything will run. But now, my love, we are here, we are now, and those other times are running elsewhere."
-- A. S. Byatt, Possession

And so I thought of you...

Encem bought me The Time Traveller's Wife.. Why? I'm not sure. I can't help but guess that it was out of guilt. He probably felt bad for the way I've been feeling recently so he decided to get me something, and knowing me.. A book would be perfect.
And being almost-perfect, he got me THAT book.

I'm loving the read so far.
But I keep relating Encem to Henry when they are not exactly alike.. Not genetically anyway.
I can't be quite sure whether they are really similar or I'm just hoping that Encem loves me as much as Henry loves Clare..

I do hope that his world revolves around me but the truth is he's the world and I'm the tiny satellite that floats around him.

Which is probably the biggest reason why it's so easy for me to get upset by him. As my feelings for him are intense, any little-wrong thing he does intensifies. It's a win-lose situation really..
The hazards of being in love with someone who knows not of moderation or middle grounds. He has to put up with my 'nothing or everything' crap every single day.

Though everytime somebody plants a seed of suspicion towards him I'd respond with nonchalant, saying that I would have no trouble leaving.. I know that I would leave feeling devastated.

So what's the point of this entry?
I don't know... Maybe to tell you that I'm very much still in a relationship. (Hafiz! LOL) Maybe to tell you that I'm still all clouds even when in love. Maybe to tell Encem that I'm a sucker for his love. That no matter who I'm having lunch or dinner with, it's still him that I think about. Or maybe the damn novel is simply turning me into a bigger mush than I already am.

What ever the real point is, I can't help myself from thinking about Henry and Clare...

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.


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