Saturday, November 03, 2012

Kick me when I'm down.

Today is the first of my three days trip in BKI, and I've been sneezing like hell!
Suppose I am due for some kind of sickness. The last time I was sick enough to have to see a doctor was in May. (The one in August was faking sickness, I have to admit.)
Not loving the partially blocked nose.
Serves me for having such lousy sleep lately.

I'm not in the greatest mood.
Feeling lonely mostly. Bestie has been hanging out with his girl and his new friends. Encem's too busy with what ever that he's been doing.. while I stuck around for who knows what.
Feels like all Encem has is just enough time to have a fight with me.
It's getting really old.

Apparently all that I've been feeling were feelings alone.
Encem actually SAID that I should use my head instead.
I think I should kick his balls for just saying that.
Thank you for belittling my bloody feelings, B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D!!
Honestly I hate blogging about this like a friggin' teenager. I should have used my brain a long long time ago. It's been a while since I last felt that we were good for each other.
If only my heart would just stop...

It's sad that I'm rooting for doomsday at the end of this year.
Sure, there's a bunch of things I'd like to do first before I die. Places to be.. to see.
Make my existence count.
But at what cost? My heart getting trampled every other day??
I couldn't take it.
And I don't hate my life THAT much to actually take it away myself. So... Armageddon, come on!

Yeah, I know I'm dark.
I really should seek professional's help.


alipe said...

"Bestie has been hanging out with his girl..."

his girl... me like... hahahahhaha

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