Wednesday, January 09, 2008

When I'm in love..
you'll know.

I'm thinking.. wishing.. and hoping of a day.
When somehow everything clicked and all these makes sense.
I suppose every one of us is searching for a certain something in their lives, and if that is really true.. I am not so different from you after all.

Ray LaMontagne - Can I Stay

This song makes my mind wander off pretty far.
Damn my dreams!

Here's one thing that I've never said out loud--
the reason why I'm always stressed and eventually hate myself is really.. because I have a dream and expectations for myself. I never really cared what other people said about me -- all I ever cared about is ME; what I think about myself. You could say I'm selfish but really.. if you have ME in YOUR head, you'd be just as same.
My dreams.. my guilt.. are screwing me up. And hey, if you think that I'm pointing a finger for blame, take a minute and go figure out who I am really blaming.

It's been an odd week of secrets and confessions -- and it's only Wednesday! I can't honestly say how it affects my brain and heart. They're naturally jumbled up to begin with so somehow these new revelations just easily mixes up with the rest.

sigh. I wish I would stop sighing.
I wish there wasn't a word such as "sigh" so I wouldn't know how to sigh in the first place.

Anyway, I'm tired of saying this but I'll say it again just for the heck of it;
I need to get my life on track.

O yeah, I was inspired for a new blog layout -- finally! So I'm slightly cheered for the fact that I am no longer stuck in that area. heh.


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