I want to believe.

So here's an insight to my heart.

I... want to believe in love.
Have complete faith in another person. Trust in every word.. every action..
But I don't.

And I wish there was a reason to it. I wish I could say that I've been burned and that's why I keep myself so guarded.
But I haven't.

I am just.. finding it hard to just let myself go.

So when I watch.. or hear stories about love.. I'll feel.. incredibly empty. I'd wonder how these people could do the things that I can't. Thinking if something just isn't right with me. (Something probably is anyway.)

I want.. to not be empty.
I want one of those stories to be mine.
I want a love song that is about me.
I hate wondering if it'll ever be my turn.
Most of all, I hate how my heart wanders away when it isn't checked.

They say;
If you love someone let them go. If they return to you it was meant to be.
bah! Let me go and I may never come back. hahahhaha!

blah. I actually want to belong.. somewhere. Stop wandering.. and wondering. Maybe someday.
But I know myself too well.. and I'm such a skeptic to let myself believe. I want to believe in so many things.. but I don't really.
So make me a believer.

This stupid entry took me two and a half hours to write. sheesh!