Monday, June 30, 2008

大 せつに

Fruits Basket, episode 8 always gets me.
Okay well, since it's the umpteenth time that I've seen it.. it didn't get me as bad as it did when I saw it for the first time, but still.. it bugs me.

So I recently found a way to dull my thoughts; repetitive writing.
I have two full pages of it in my Moleskine now. haha! I suppose I had needed some major dulling the other day.
(For notes, I find smoking actually intensifies certain unwanted thoughts -- which I really don't need.)

As the year progresses, I find myself cursing more and more.
You see, when someone asks my age, I'd answer them the non-Malaysian style; which is really.. the age that I am instead of the age I'd be that year. It hardly seems fair for me to tell people that I'm 24.. Am I supposed to enjoy being 23 only for 18 days?? Come on!
And it pisses me off when people thinks that I told them I'm 23 because I hate aging.

Well, okay. I do. Only because I haven't done half the things that I wanted to do. Achieve things that I aspired to.
Torres is 24, did you know? So is Tévez. hahhaha. Okay, I'm not aspiring to become a footballer, just so you know. But it bugs me.. the number of successful people at my age.

And the worst of all, I am a firm believer that if you hate the situation that you're in, you should change it. So I am currently hating the situation.. well, my brain most of all.
I am currently hating myself but I am still me. So there is this constant battle in my head between the need to change my life.. my views.. or myself and trying to understand why I am hating them so much and yet still being in the same situation that I had started off with.
Am I making sense?
Anyway, I'm definitely hating my situation.. so I should change it. Or at least change my feelings towards it! hahahha!

Ohh I hate that tomorrow will be the start of July..

Ooh. Espana won the EURO. I wasn't exactly rooting for them but Germany didn't look like they deserved to win. Oh well..

Eman - I Shut Down


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