Tuesday, December 31, 2002

New Year's Resolution!
What a terrific year. Seriously! I do think that this is the MOST educational year that I've ever had! Hihhihik! I really had my ups and downs this year, and it's just cool when I think about it! What I should keep to myself.. and the things that I have to let go when it comes to the right time. ^_^
Someone once told me that when I get 18, I'll see that some things will change.. Now that I've come to look at it myself.. I see that I thought things have changed, but it turned out to be just the same..

SO! Number one on my New Year's resolutions list.. never trust people's words easily! Hahhaa~! That'd be hard for me.. you'd know that if you've really known me. So if someone says that they care for me.. I'd probably be a bit sceptical.. hehhe! ^_^ It just suxX when you say some things truthfully from your heart and you're replied with empty words..
Number two on my list.. probably learn how to express myself better. Nyehnyehh! I don't know.. kinda boring when people thinks that I have no problems at all when deep inside I feel like exploding with mixed emotions.. I really need to shake off this 'happy-go-lucky' and cheery theme. That'd be super hard though.. I remember in my school days.. even when I had a rough morning.. but as I see either of my friends had a sour face.. I'd usually smile anyways.. Gotta keep someone in the gang positive, 'aight? But heyy, I do need to take care of my own feelings too..! Especially now..
Be more independent is in number three! Hehhek! I'll start off with going shopping alone. Hahhaaa~! That sounds stupid, though. But I do need to be more independent!! Who can you count on, if not yourself? Your friends won't be there for you forever. (Yeah, I'm telling myself that everyday, now) Well, this year, I realized that I've been depending too much on the people around me. I need to make up my own mind starting from now.. Huuuuuu... Though.. err.. I'd still need my dad to pick me when there's break in the schedule. Hihhik! Even if it's a short break.. hihhihik! Not like I have any strong reasons to stay here! Hihihik!
Number four.. Less Y! M.. serious in classes!! Hahhahhaaa~!! My family would sure laugh if they see this. ME! Wanie! Serious! In anything? Especially class?!! Hahhahaa~!!! I'm laughing as well..! ^o^ Well, the Messenger part won't be hard. It's not like I need to be online so much, these days. Amazing, how I've gotten bored of this 24 hours of free internet. But the hard part about this one.. Huhhu.. LESS DOODLE, MORE NOTES! Yes, I'll try.. Huhuuu.. though, I'm pretty surprised that I'm never too affected by the things I do. I mean, if I goof around during classes. Could it be that I'm just usually dumb? Hahhaha! Well, I need to try and get serious. I should see how far I can get without silly distractions.. ^_^
And the final resolution.. (for now) Number five is EAT MORE!! Hahhahha~!! My family is starting to say that I look pale again. Huwaaaaa!! Doctor suxX!! I hate hospital and I hate pills! Sringes suxX even more! Scary.. scary.. I really reaaaaaally need to take meal times seriously. Huhuu..! Arrkk! Gets scary when sometimes I get tired so easily.. Huhuuu..

I realize that I've been learning a lot about the new terms in relationships this year. I used to have my good friends by my side all the time in school. Going to MMU.. parted me from them, and it really suxX! I really think that I'm too young to go to this stage (and I still think that way) First day of college life.. SCARY! Kept thinking about the friends I'll make.. my roomies.. Huwaaaaa!! ROOMIES!! The scariest part, truthfully. I remember when the person at the MPH door told me to come in alone. Huu.. I really wished I could drag my father along. Then walking in the killing sun towards the hostel.. got into my room and saw Fina with her family. Huhuu.. it was a pretty awkward situation. Later when I've put all my things in my room, I asked myself.. Did I went into the right room?!! Hahhaha~! So I tested my keys.. and yess, it's really my room. Later that afternoon, I met the other roomie, Ana! ^_^ Amazing that I've seen Fina at my school before since she was in her school Dikir Barat team while I took pictures of the competition since I'm with the Photography Club in my school. What a small world, huh!
It's just neat to look back in time, and see what you've gone through.. what have you learn from it. If you haven't done this before, make some time! Get a pen and paper.. get comfy and just.. remember! (the pen and paper is just for you to write something or just doodle on some stuff like I do.. hihhihik!) 1997 and 2001 was the year for total stupidity, 1998 and 2000 was my year of goofing off. 1999 was the year of fun and good findings. 2002 is the year for relationships. Neat neaaat!! Wonder what life will bring me in 2003!

pardon me for lingering around my memories..


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