Saturday, October 20, 2007

It's been --- daaays.

And here's how little you've missed;

I went to get a passport-sized photo taken and as always; I HATED IT! They never turned out good and this time I looked like a fatty withholding flatulence! You know.. someone with a synthetic smile plastered all over their face -- highly unattractive! I HATE passport-sized photos!!

I shopped at Borders for the first time. I've always loved the store but I never actually bought anything there. Until the 17th; I blow my duit raya on three books; two of them were on my "To-read list". yeayy! But there goes my very short attempt at managing my duit Raya better this time around.

We celebrated Alia's 23rd birthday on the 18th with a BUNCH of people! That was real fun. Sliiiightly awkward at first but actually fun! Especially since I haven't seen the birthday girl for MONTHS! Johanz was awesome, I must say.

It was also a good distraction from the fact that England LOST to Russia that night. (Thanks for the score, Ilsa!) Maybe they lost because I wasn't in front of the telly but I'd hate to think that they needed me that bad. I refuse to be depended on as much! yeech!
Anyway, I can't hate the boys. I've seen the rerun; the penalty shouldn't have been given. Plus, it's cold in Russia! I'b be crappy in cold weather too. My heart is breaking nonetheless. I'll have no fun during EURO 2008 then.. unless miracle happens in the form of Russia losing in their next matches. hahha!

I've also been following the Rugby World Cup. (The Heineken ad never failed to amuse me.) The way all those grown men fight over a ball is ridiculously funny, I can't help myself. Looking forward to the final between England and South Africa (guess who's I'm rooting for!) -- also the Brazillian Grand Prix.. and the return of Premier League. hahahha!!

I went to a job interview which had felt like a real interview (I've been to three interviews before but I always feel silly everytime I walked out.) I think I did as well as the counsellors had taught me back in school (may I add that all the interviews I've been to had always turned out positive -- I suppose I'm oozing confidence in those situations) but I was particularly apprehensive and inhibited this time. I shouldn't have read The Alchemist before I entered the room. (Yes, I was that relaxed.) I just can't stop thinking about my Personal Legend (not that I've ever..) -- I even spoke about it during the interview when they asked "how do you see yourself in 3 years?"..
hahha! They shouldn't have asked, but how would they know that, right?

It seems like everybody is excited that I've been going to interviews. (Except me, naturally!) My family mainly were very curious. The thing is, I never told any of them that I was going to one; very different from my sisters whom had always asked our father to drive them to their interviews and sometimes even waited until they're done. When I got my job in Kinokuniya, I just came home one day and announced shortly that I have to go to work the next day.
I don't know why I'm like that. I'd like to blame my parents for my inhibition but I know they didn't do anything. You can call it "independence", but sometimes it's just too obvious that I'm different than my sisters.

I should've been built differently. Having mixed emotions always frustrates me. It'd be SO MUCH easier if I am driven by the need for money. The thing about my sisters.. Nina dreams of being a housewife since she was twelve. So she got married when she was 24. Dida had always wanted to be rich. She haven't had any financial problem since she landed her job. She's basically the breadwinner here. And I.. I looked up to the stars sometimes wishing for "happiness". I should've wished for something specific. Being happy is just too abstract, isn't it?
Please note that I don't hate myself. I'm just tired of being too me sometimes, that's all. Life's never easy and I never actually wanted it to be anyway.

I appreciate the interviews I've been to. In a way they're like something to do while they keep everybody off my back for a bit. They might've thought that I don't know what I want, but I do.. I'm just stuck. I know exactly what I want to do and exactly where I want to go -- I'm just not talking about it.
My sister mused on how a person who writes a LOT would keep SO MUCH while someone who doesn't write at all (that's her) could share exceedingly.

Then on Thursday I won a book from Football Crazy! HAAHAHAHAHA!! That was one of the most hilarious things ever.. yet cool! They said my name on telly.. waaay cool!! Can't wait to get my hands on that book. (Theo Walcott was the answer to the question they asked, by the way. I didn't win him.) See.. TV and football ain't all bad!

Had loads of fun with my sisters and brother in-law on Friday. Dida had bought a bunch of fireworks and WE were laughing so hard as we tried for perfection on our pictures. Timing is SUCH an important key!

Well, I think that's a LOT of things happening in the course of four days. I even had to leave out some just so I wouldn't be bored reading this again (as I believe you would too..) I shall have a lot more next week, be warned!!

Hope you guys are having a good weekend.
And Azraai, when I'm in love.. you'll know. So please don't guess that I have a boyfriend when I say that I have an "amusing month" again next time! It's demeaning! hahahhaha!


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