Monday, July 07, 2008

Here's something..

So I told Dida that I've been having trouble sleeping. Even more than usual.
Then she responded; "you can die, you know?" (yeah I know.)
"At least you'll only get fat if you oversleep.." (yes yes, I get it..)

But the thing is, it is not as if I am doing it on purpose! It's not like I'm staying up because I wanted to.. If I had things to do, it would be different but my nights are spent by staring at different things around the room; closet, night lamp, computer screen, ceiling. Really exciting.

Anyway, I'm pooped.
I'd only managed to fall asleep way after 6 last night (morning, really) and before 9 my mom had come into my room to wake me up.
Spent the entire day in Seremban.. and I didn't nap a wink there. (Even though Mama and Dida did.)

I'd spent my time just chatting with Nina.. HOURS of chatting. Come to think of it, I hardly remember what we talked about. Mostly about Twilight series (I'm gonna make her read them!) and the M&M Cru and ACDC dance off that I saw on YouTube last night.

Then I actually told her about the things I'd talked about with my Facebook friends and one of them being my inability to start a casual-conversations. There was this one time when Nikki bombarded me with questions.. things that she wanted to know about me. I tried to return the favour but I couldn't think of anything to ask her.
To be honest, I'll end up forgetting her answers anyway.
Plus, what interests me most about the people I meet are their thoughts.

So naturally, I came up with one my-kind-of-question.
The conversation followed then was an interesting one.
And apparently Nina never knew that I always come up with a philosophical question to ask the people around me. I told her that I'd asked Papa on his thoughts on becoming a vegetable or depending on a life-support machine. She laughed and wondered why I had thought of things like that -- "I'm morbid, I suppose."

Ah well, I've known that I needed psych consult for a little while now. Nothing new there.. But now I wonder.. maybe it's the collective amount of the sleep that I lack is the reason to why I am the way I am..
That is an idiotic theory.
I don't think the recent heartaches (induced by restlessness) are helping much to my quickly declining mental health anyway.
I should go to bed and try to get some sleep.

James Morrison - Under The Influence


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