Thursday, October 06, 2005

eeeek!!

I can't believe my eyes..
My dream job is in the paper!! Alright.. not exactly my dream job, my father's jaw even dropped when I told him about it two months ago. (- that I'd love to work in Kinokuniya.) ekkekeke!! He'd probably cry if it was really what I dream of!! Anyways, I've always liked the idea of working in a book store. What do you think? Should I call?
Well, there is a downside that I would spend my work hours reading books than doing my job instead.. but a book store!! Kinokuniya!! I'd be great! heehee.
Muz would probably laugh at the idea, but she knows me too well! Ooh~ but I feel I should call.

Ohh, answering to Fariz' sms since I can't reply through my phone since it's past the airtime access, (hihi!) why am I attending interviews? - because I like talking about MYSELF! ekkeke!! Not really, (but that's half right or this blog wouldn't exist!) I'm more like.. just had a revelation that I'm getting older and I've been spending my time doing things that I don't like, being the person that I hate and to remind myself that I CAN change that.. Maybe you haven't been spending your time reading this blog, (of course you haven't! You shouldn't, anyways!) or you would've known this. It's nice of you to actually ask.
Ooh~ I definitely need to get a job, I only have RM5 in my purse. I'm even worse than Rosie Dunne!! eeek!!

Now to think about it, I mighty feel like the revelation I had seemed almost like a middle-age crisis! Only that I'm only 20 to be having that. Could be that I've gotten very mature...
AHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I need to stop cracking myself up in the middle of the night.
Maybe being born at the crack of dawn just made me very active in the wee of morn. Possible, yeah? Ooh~ If only I had the mood to write everytime I came up with a theory. I'd probably have written a book full of it by now.
Now I'm missing my slambook. Well, a slambook of Muz, Dayat, Hanis and myself.

The other day when I talked to Muz, I brought it up and she immediately smiled so wide. Thinking back the days when I talked and wrote all my stupidest thoughts. (mostly boy-related, I'm pretty sure.) Of course, in Form 3 it was all about a certain boy and I rarely shut up about him. I'd probably laugh 'til I cry if I get my hands on that slambook.
You see, when Dayat moved at the end of Form 3 we split the book and gave Dayat the first and second - which was the "juiciest", I think - so she could remember the best of us that she left behind. The third and fourth were kept by Muz.
I really don't get people who hated their high school. Mine was the best years I've had in my life.. no matter how stupid I had been.

Right now I'm thinking about the badminton tournament me and Dayat joined. Mid Form 3, the start when I started being friends with Azraai again. We were all in the same class, but the only times he spoke to me was when he teased me about Haikal - which then I return with a same magnitude of joke on him and then Arep laughing at his side. (Form 3 is my best year, so bear with me reminiscing.) Acap invited me and Dayat to join, at first we said no but somehow we changed our minds. I was pretty glad to be paired up with Rai (by the way, the tournament was for mixed doubles) despite the slight awkwardness at the beginning. I used to get so jealous at Dayat though, for being paired up with the really really cute ustazah's son, Syukri. kikkiki!!
Me and Azraai lost horribly but being a gentleman that he is.. he told me that I was great. (Of course I laughed out loud at the obvious lie!)
I had probably told this story before, sorry! Just that it's funny remembering about badminton. Me and Muz cheered on Atuk at his doubles match, oogling at Syukri while I laughed at Dayat.. No one from our class made to the second round, by the way! And our class had the most entry in the tournament!! ahhahahahha!!!
Gosh, my younger days are so funny!

Alright, today's goal: get up before high noon, call for appointment (maybe!), write.. something, get a shower and.. stuff my face with food!!
Selamat menyambut Ramadhan, semua!
And to Dayat, happy belated birthday, dear!!

Ohh, I just found this song in my sister's computer. Hihi.
Goodbye by Air Supply

I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye

You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure I'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say, but goodbye

You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say goodbye


This was written at 3:40 am on October 4th, 2005.

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