Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The thing pasal relationship jarak jauh..

Sangat tak best, okay.

Basically I'm fine with distance.. until I'm not.
That's just how I am I guess. It's like skipping along in a park and then suddenly tripping on your own foot and falling into a ditch.
I can't just fall and missing the ditch; I don't know how to be 'a little miserable' (if I ever said that I was, that was just me in denial that I am completely miserable).


I always feel bad for Boyfie.. for having to pull me back out from that ditch again and again. mmph.
It's not like I'm obsessed with Grey's Anatomy or anything, but I am as "dark and twisty" as Meredith, and Boyfie had to constantly remind me that he's there for me.. like Derek. (haha! Saying this makes me feel as silly as I did when I wrote about Bella and Edward..)

But if the roles reversed.. (like the episode of Grey's two weeks ago.)
If Boyfie tells me to go away.. I don't think I'm the type of person who would stick around.. I don't know.
I can only hope that he won't ever tell me to go away..
But that's a selfish thing to hope for, isn't it? I've told him to go away for so many times now.. gah! Guess I am lucky that someone as stubborn as he is, loves me. This luck, I don't deserve it.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if he actually go away when I told him to. I wonder if he didn't press on when I said that it was "nothing..". Had he left me alone when I said that I want to be alone..
Yes, I wonder what it would be like but I can never actually picture it. I simply cannot picture what is beyond 'miserable'.

I'm fine really. Much better than yesterday anyway. But I still miss my boyfriend. Suppose I could say that I'm not exactly a conventional lover. My past relationships; the ones I get to see everyday had never lasted long. So, a little distance is good.. but this one is becoming too much, unfortunately. sigh.
I feel pathetic for being miserable because I miss my boyfriend. gah!

Anyway, I'm a little nervous about tomorrow's medical check up and I probably shouldn't smoke so much to calm myself down. hahahahha!

9 comments:

Hafiz said...

ldr sucks. most of them failed, and failed ugly. ='(.

good luck to you.

lil^witch said...

thank you.
I'll hold on to the probability/chance that I might be among the some that isn't the most.

a.m.y.a.n.m.s. said...

if there's love, there's a way. distance should NOT be a reason, or THE reason, to break up.

if you love somebody THAT much, your love is totally worth all the distance/wait. in fact, you probably wouldn't even feel it - because that person is already in your heart anyway.

(audience : "awwwww...")

:P

hahaha ok ok, back to the real world. GOOD LUCK TOMORROW!

and please do still pray for me. tsk.

Hafiz said...

"if there's love, there's a way. distance should NOT be a reason, or THE reason, to break up."

this is just too funny. get a taste of some ldr with someone u truly love and lets see how distance gonna treat you. life aint a fairytale. even if it is at first, fairytales are notoriously known for only tellin stories halfway. XD

i know im not helpin but i had 3 ldrs and ive read a lot about it after each failures and one of the main badguyz is distance. either that or our own selfishness.

ok stop rant nao. sowwy wanieeeee

Hafiz said...

oh and of course distance alone aint gonna be THE reason or anything but it will be the catalyst, the fuel that will make even the smallest sparks into armageddonz lol

a.m.y.a.n.m.s. said...

all i'm saying is, IF you love someone THAT much (or in other words, IF you have already found THE ONE/someone you want to spend the rest of your life with), you are willing to go thru the distance - or anything. (note : IF)

it makes you appreciate the other person even more. because each time that you got to (finally) spend with your other half - you would make the best out of it. yes, there might be no quantity in time, but there is definitely quality.

well, this is how those loving married ones work it out, at least ;)

(well, they wouldn't get married if they didn't work the ldr out earlier, would they? :P)

Hafiz said...

ok based on statistics alone, the percentage of couples who survive a ldr is really low, let alone those who ended in a loving marriage etc.

so are you saying the majority that didnt work out's caused by not loving enough?

you cant really say much in this area if you never experience ldr itself and knowing that distance can be a real nasty culprit. you can love someone with all your heart and distance can fuck it up.

at the end of the day, distance+the selfish/weak nature of humans will make it nearly impossible to survive an ldr.

maybe if you're only separated by a few hundred miles, same timezone etc, chances for the relationship to work out is higher.

in this case, im rootin for you wanie lol dekat je s'pore tu :P

a.m.y.a.n.m.s. said...

"so are you saying the majority that didnt work out's caused by not loving enough?"

- who said anything about not loving enough? :-/ i'm just saying that WHEN YOU FOUND THE ONE THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH, BOTH OF YOU (note : BOTH) would WANT to work it out.

"you cant really say much in this area if you never experience ldr itself and knowing that distance can be a real nasty culprit. you can love someone with all your heart and distance can fuck it up."

- i have, indeed. but that doesn't stop me from believing in ldr. you see, if you TRUST that person, it's going to work out fine, ldr or not. of course, ldr needs the EXTRA efforts from BOTH parties. BOTH have to learn to trust each other more. ldr needs the extra love, extra trust and all that. kalau tak sanggup and tak ada effort, that's why la ldr fails :P

"at the end of the day, distance+the selfish/weak nature of humans will make it nearly impossible to survive an ldr."

- i agree on that 'selfish/weak nature of humans' part, but distance is just an extra excuse la. i mean, when you love and trust that someone and doesn't lie, cheat etc <-- selfish/weak nature of humans, distance would only make the heart grow fonder. macam everytime meet up, mesti like "tak sabar nak jumpa!" :P

"maybe if you're only separated by a few hundred miles, same timezone etc, chances for the relationship to work out is higher."

- eh tak boleh cakap jugak ok. i know quite a few marine engineers, they go sailing kat tengah laut arab sana sini and got no telephone connection to contact their wives some more and have been on the ships for more than 6 months, then bila finally dapat balik rumah, alahai sweetnye. hehe. tapi ni my personal experience la ok.

and yes, setuju. dekat je singapore tu! haha :P

lil^witch said...

:P

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