Thursday, November 13, 2003

where is my shoulder to cry on ?

sorry if I might sound pathetic but I'm feeling MIGHTY low right here..
Someone tell me that there's something more than Che Mat and these stupid assignments!

More To Life by Stacie Oricco

I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
I'm wanting more

Than waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more to life
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more


Torn yet again..
My priorities keep jumbling up.
Felt like really crying my eyes out.. running to someone who'd think that I matter to them.. Someone that I wouldn't mind showing how low I can be at times. Someone to comfort me at times like this.. everytime..
*tuk tuk*
I don't have anyone like that.. everything is just in your dreams, Wanie.. there were never anyone you can really run to..
At times like this.. all I can do is wish. Wish that for one moment.. there'd be someone. But not just anyone.. a someone..
And there's this voice keeps telling me... you can't have that person just by wishing, Wanie..! So it is.. but what else is there to do??
I am pathetic.. yess..
Feels like I should leave... just leave everything... but that is not the answer.
Felt like I should jump off into a big black hole... that is not the answer as well..
So tell me now.. where's my shoulder to cry on?
(yes, I have great friends.. truly good friends.. but I'm not expecting them to be right here, right now.. You must've misunderstood me in some way, dear. I'd totally call up for you if I wanted you to be right here, but I didn't.. 'coz you're in the same situation as I do.. I didn't expect you or the other two to be my shoulder to cry on.. I hope you don't think of me as one silly git whose a selfish brat.. 'coz I don't think I am.. 'coz I know all of us needed the time..)
Crying is a sign of weakness.. so I am weak.. what's the point of trying to be strong, anyways!

...
Horrible day..
[ edited on 2:14 pm of November 14th 2003 ]

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