Tuesday, November 06, 2007

The Quest of Becoming Somebody (Part 2)

I believe, that the hardest thing to do in life is knowing what you want and following your personal legend.

Getting what you want is simpler once you've passed those two.
Let's be serious, if you dream of being rich you'd surely won't get it by sitting around hoping that somehow money will roll onto your lap. For one, you'll need hard work -- or at least get your arse near a hill for a wad of bank notes to get rolling.
Maybe you refuse to include working so you decided to marry somebody rich. Still, you can't expect someone of that state to come around to that mamak place you hung around, do you?

I'm sorry.. nothing comes for free; not even love. Here you may like to quote Jennifer Lopez and sings "love don't cost a thing". Well, how about your time, effort.. and heart? I'm being painfully harsh tonight I know, but even the hippie-Wanie can't drown out rational-Wanie's voice on this.

My sister said something earlier that somehow hits close to home. It wasn't particularly about me but her statement just made me realize about TIME -- again!
Then while I was helping her to find her shirt in the laundry, I discovered that my freakin' dad had defaced my one-and-ONLY Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt by mixing colours with whites. I had spent the next 15 minutes in tears, my friends.

Now you may think, how silly of me to cry over a shirt but if you had know me.. If you'd know me at all.. you would know how frustrating it'd make me feel when a beloved t-shirt.. that I got in Europe.. has now turned into a freakin' sissy shade of PINK!! Not that any different shade would make me feel better, but I would appreciate it if I got an apology! One stupid apology, but noooooo.. What I got was, I quote; "wash your own clothes next time!"
EFFING ASSHOLE!!
(Yes, I am cursing at my father, boys and girls.)

So, after that slight detour of how mental I can get over the things at home, I will return to the fact that I was talking about "knowing what you want" in the first place.
In the case of my father, I must tell you that he wasn't fully responsible to what had happened. I am perfectly capable of doing my own laundry so I should be able to prevent all this. Shite happens when you are not in control of your life. Once you let go.. and shite happens.. you have noone else to blame but yourself.

Then again, it is my flaw.. I am incapable of blaming others -- having shitty people around me reflects on MY judgement to depend on shitty people, so I must blame myself. It'd be great to be normal and point the finger at everybody else but as I said.. I am flawed.

I know what I want.
But I am not following my personal legend.. yet.
So I must thank God for reminding me how miserable I really am to be stuck like this all the time. Mediocrity doesn't suit me at all so I am grateful to receive the reminder. Be it in the form of my beloved t-shirt.. in a ridiculously stupid shade of pink.

Still pissed at my dad though.

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