Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Saddest seventeen seconds.

Sometimes.. There are days when I get scared of the future.
To me, the future holds an endless possibility but some days I get scared. What if my faith is actually a silly little girl's dream? What if, believing with every drop of my blood isn't going to make any difference? That it won't change a single thing?
That future doesn't gleam as much somehow.

I saw Becoming Jane sometime last week. I thought the ending was the saddest seventeen seconds I had ever seen in a movie. No doubt that it was entirely fabricated (considering that there was no proof that Jane Austen ever met Tom Lefroy again when they were older) but it was sad nonetheless.
I wonder why Jane Austen and her sister never got married. I wonder what ran in Cassandra's (her older sister) mind when Jane died at the age of 41.

I don't know how I feel about Jane Austen's last words. It was.. brave, quite poetic but rather insensitive. I don't know.. I honestly don't know. I love Austen's works.. the fact that she was a Sagittarius made me adore her even more. Yet at this very moment.. I am feeling a little scared for something that isn't really related to me. hahhaha! Talk about being self-absorbed.
May I just add that having dreams are quite scary sometimes. I think I'm just feeling especially tiny today.

I'm just another person in the world.. trying to get through the day, really.


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