Sunday, September 24, 2006

Feelings.. feelings..

I was thinking about a conversation I had with a friend yesterday.
She was asking me about what I want to achieve in life and I told her I don't know. I also told her that I only said that to avoid from really explaining to her what I want from life. She wonders why is it so hard for me to answer a simple, basic question.
Well, there's nothing simple about life, babe.

I honestly can't talk about life so conveniently. I can't talk about ANYTHING so conveniently, actually!
It's when I talk about something so freely that you should start to worry.
When I easily put my words together.. it usually meant that I am detached from the subject. That I'm seeing the topic from a different perspective and that I don't really feel for the subject.
Do you get me, girl?

You might read this entry so fluently but you have no idea how long it took me to figure out the next word after another. How many times I reread and corrected my lines.
So yeah, that's my secret. I don't come up with an entry in a flash, unless it's only my report of what I've been doing for the rest of the day - which of course, a bimbo can do.
And no, I don't put my feelings on my sleeves like most had expected. heh. Which I'm sure my closest buds have known. The reason why I love them so much!! For letting me be, yet still hangs around until I'm ready to speak. sigh.

I was singing to Acha's song earlier and Dida shouted from our room to ask what song was I singing to. I got her to listen to it and she told me a sob story that somehow I could relate to.
For a brief moment we both cried and boy, I was glad that our parents weren't home. Dida must have been screaming inside to tell someone about what's kept inside her.
I feel sorry that she had to go through what she's going through.
Life HAS GOT to be FAIR!! God, please please let her get what she's looking for. Please please don't keep her from looking for the rest of her life. Somehow let me know that things are going to be alright!

JAG is back on Star World, picked up right where it had left things hanging. So besides everything else, I am glad for that.
Yet I'm starting to well up again.. crap!!

Hope you guys are having a better start at Ramadhan.


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