Sunday, March 16, 2003

L* Pt. 1

"Daddy, what is love?"
Daddy looked at me with a bright small upon his face. "Why do you ask, honey?"
"Well, I've heard it so many times over the TV and it's making me curious. What is it?"
"You're still too young to understand what it is, dear. Come on.. let's finish up your homework and up to bed you go."
I knew it right then that daddy never knew how to answer my question. I spent the night staring right through my book. How can I finish up my homework when my mind is still wondering about love?
"You loved mom, don't you?"
"Yes, honey. I loved her very much."
"Then, how can she not love you back? How come her feelings changed when you're still in love with her? Isn't love forever?"
Daddy's expression went numb. I knew he was thinking hard for an answer, but all he came up with was,
"That's a question you have to ask her yourself, honey. She have always wanted to see you, you know. Maybe you should start talking to her.."
"No way! I'm not going to talk to her or see her.. ever! After all that she's done! I hate her!!" I shut close my homework and ran up to my room.
What made mom left? Have her no thoughts about daddy? Have her no thoughts about my brother.. or me? Her only daughter.. Have her no heart over any of us? I cried over the memories we had. When all four of us at the lake side, having a picnic. It was so much fun. And I remember everytime I leave the house for school, she would be at the porch telling me that she loved me. Was it all lies? If she really loved me, why did she leave? Why am I living in this house without a mother?

I ended up crying myself to sleep.. with a promise. If love may change within time, I never want to fall in love!


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