Thursday, January 29, 2004

slit me open..

hurting myself over and over again..
might as well i just commit suicide!!
(mad at myself..!) sebab lembu sangat!!
always get my heart in the way.. manipulating my mind.. and i know this all along, yet i do nothing about it.. i don't know how to stop! help me stoppp!!!!!!
devotion in the face of uncertainty... always and always..

adeeii.. awak, tolong...
I Shall Believe by Sheryl Crow

Come to me now
And lay your hands over me

Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe

I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be

It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me

Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

Never again
would I turn away from you

I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe

That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won't give up on me

And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe

o yeah, i'm already in cyberjaya.. supposedly doing my animation assignment. apparently my friends are here!! prisca and lily!! :x i wasn't all alone after all.. (as i thought) tadi prisca gave me a silly picture.. she said it represents us three 'coz of the hair.. bengong!
kelakar sungguh!!! merepekk!

my hair is not as frizzy as thaaat!! :p perasan perasan.. prisca perasan jessica biel.. ekkekeke!!



seriously screaming..
the reason... well, i'm just terribly in like of so many things! :x ekkeke!
nvm.. i'll post what i'm crazy about later.. :p

syafiq.. mane syafiiiiq??
heehee~ silly friends i got.
going to tell my holiday, now..
spent wednesday to friday at home.. went to seremban on saturday, stayed 'til tuesday.. got back on wednesday and gone back here on thursday! sedih btol tinggalkan belba and izzati on wednesday.. and now i left papa at home alone. though the house is small, i think it's quite huge for an old guy. not saying that my dad is old.. OLD.. but i dont know what does through his mind, y'know.. i wonder if he knew how much i care for him while i'm away. i think a lot when all his girls are not home.. like right now. while bella and belladonna's at seremban.. and i'm at school.. wondering if he wonders that he's being tested. i mean.. umm.. cemane aa nak explain?
hummph.. belba and myself tak kawen laie.. and we've left him alone. nanti karang bila kitorang dah kawen? kene tinggal lagi! hummph.. i know, i think too much.. tapi entahlaa.. at some points i just wish i'm at home, talking crap to papa just so he won't feel alone. and he likes to joke around about the old folks' home.. how i HATE those jokes!! not funny at all!! papa, you're NOT FUNNY!!!
okaay.. priorities going crazy again. focus! i need to FOCUS!! papa said he was fine being alone.. (mama's working in some hotel for the week.. boss dia ade meeting ape ntah!) but i know he's not!! macam semalam, when i got back home.. he said he was in no mood to eat nasik.. takde mood nak makan kat kedai.. but i know he's wants nasik!! at that time i was asking myself "kenapeee laa useless sangat wanie nie!!" kan bagus if i can cook.. so i can whip him something up.. sedihnyee laa jadi anak dara tak guna macam nihh.. hummph! *tukk*
meninggalkan atau ditinggalkan.. leaving or being left.. i pick being left!! leaving keeps me restless!! if you're comfortable with something, why would you leave, kan? hummph.. i really hate leaving.. biarlah ditinggalkan. takde lah nak risau pape.. my head pon tak serabut macam ni!!!
fikir pasal menda lain!! mama pon balek esok la wanie oiiii!! risau lebih aje.. hummphhh!!

anyways!! time cuti syafiq actually came by with azraai!!! they were at my house.. called me up to come down.. but i was in SEREMBAN!!! sedihnyeee!!! sedih sangat at that time. rase nak menjerit.. geram sangat!! why did they have to come in surprise??? kalau tak dah leh jumpe syafiq and rai!! huwaaaaaaaaaa!!! :(( sedihnye ingat balekk.. korang teroooooookkkk!! been a while since i last saw syafiq. rai dah jumpe cuti aritu.. tak kesah! HAHHAHA!! :p
**syafiq was a minor crush of mine while we're at school. ekkeke! entah nape ntah suka kat dia pon wanie tak tahu! HAHAHHA!! rai knew about that too.. anyways! both were quite my buddies at school.. and dua dua itulah yang kantoikan pasal arep. HAHHAHA!! history kanak kanak..
for those who knew the basics of my school-history would knew what i'm really talking about.. yang tak tahu tuu, takpelah! just consider i'm yapping uncontrollably again. heehee!

okay! itulah kisah cuti wanie kali ini.. jumpe laie di masa cuti lain kali!
mereng sikit~

[ finished on 4:07pm ]


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