Saturday, July 08, 2006


It isn't taboo to me so if you think it is.. find another blog to read!

I finally figured out the effects of it on me. You know how sometimes you heard about people getting fiesty and easily ticked.. and just very very emotional during "that time of the month"?
PMS makes me angry; a simple question of "what do you want to eat?" could make me snarl - the nerve of anyone messing with my business.
- And I don't do apology when I'm snarky.

Having the period itself, makes me depressed though. It just occured to me that every single month, I would find myself rather attached to the floor. I can feel as low as being six foot deep under the ground.
- And tonight is no exception.

It depresses me that I have no interest in food and my entire body doesn't seem to want to listen to what ever I'm telling it to do. It depresses me that I can't sleep sound at night 'cause I'm afraid of the dark and that the only time I feel calm about sleeping was when it accidentally happens as everyone else was still awake. It also depresses me that I give too much crap about something I said in my dream a few days ago - which I think is the most ridiculous part of it all 'cause it a friggin' dream!! Yet, I wonder.. Is my brain trying to tell me something?? It also didn't help that I've seen -and read, the entire episodes of One Tree Hill season three.
Ohh, and don't get me started on this constant limbo I'm in.. it doesn't even seem to want to end.

I'm just..
I'm just tired. Between the back pain and the depression.. I'm simply, just tired. It's just one of those days when you can't see the reason to hope anymore. Just.. "why bother?" - Which is right. Why bother?
Don't get me wrong, I know I sound suicidal and everything but I do enjoy life. Love life..

Now don't start messaging me, or mailing me or even leave a comment about how I'll get better or cheer up or how the sun will shine tomorrow, I don't need that.
Just.. let me be depressed. For one night. Let me be depressed and hopeless for this one night and have no one judge me for it and hold it against me.

I am me and me is just.. tired.


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